sheabutterbitch

[sheabutterbitch]

today I’m going to break the pattern today I’m going to break the pattern today I’m going to break the pattern today I’m going to break the pattern today I’m going to break the pattern today I’m going to break the pattern today I’m going to break the pattern today I’m going to break the pattern today I’m going to break the pattern today I’m going to break the pattern today I’m going to break the pattern today I’m going to break the pattern

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[sheabutterbitch]

I’m advancing in my career as an educator, academic, and clinician which is great and I’ll talk more about later but right now I’m just so grateful to have left my previous role (even if it was with a burst of fury) and to be in the middle of a month long vacation. I’ve spent this time resting and reconnecting with my body in a way that I hadn’t before… strength training almost daily has been so therapeutic for me, and I get to do it with my trainer who runs a small women’s only gym that doubles as a fitness club.

Listening to my heart when it tells me I’ve overstayed my purpose in a given situation will never steer me wrong. It was very difficult for me to leave a job that was reliable, especially in this job market, but stagnancy has never been attractive to me.

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[sheabutterbitch]

i’m not really a fan of the idea that “you can’t buy consent.” i think we can observe where consent is purchased everywhere in our economic system. the problem, i think, doesn’t rest in delineating what “real” or “fake” consent is. the problem is that, as a culture under free market capitalism, there is a belief that consent precludes exploitation or harm. if i am cut with a knife for a sexual thrill, i will bleed and require some manner of medical attention/intervention, even if i provided “enthusiastic consent.” people who, like, buy into the ideology of kink, for example, tend to believe the presence of abuse or harm is negated by consent. the act of being cut by a knife for a sexual thrill is no longer harmful, despite the blood drawn, despite the necessary medical intervention, because i agreed to be cut. we are being asked to ignore harm, violence, abuse, and power dynamics if both parties like or agree to the act. drawing a line between what “enthusiastic consent” or “coerced consent” is doesn’t provide a path out from this trap, i think.

to me, this is a glaring philosophical failing that does a disservice to how violence and abuse are addressed. and make no mistake, among radicals, it is very suspicious how most leftists apply libertarianism to matters that primarily affect women, and communist principals to matters that affect men. the presence of consent to an employment contract has never stopped a male communist from speaking out against the exploitation of wage labor, but matters of sexual subordination or sexual exploitation are not addressed with the same political sophistication, consistency, and rigor. this has to change!

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I’m writing this post as documentation of my final day as a clinical therapist in residential treatment. Saving the long talk for my journal. Ready for my next move.

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Photography by Joshua Woods.

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M.C. Richards – John Wood, Untitled (M.C. Richards and John Wood Haystack Collaboration), (mixed media), 1980 [Black Mountain College Museum + Arts Center (BMCM+AC), Asheville, NC; Gift of Carol Wood. © Estate M.C. Richards / John Wood]

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[sheabutterbitch]

Committing to the practice of vulnerability, expressly with my mother, feels like being resuscitated after drowning and coughing water up from my lungs.

[sheabutterbitch]

Neglecting your needs and desires will not make you easier to love

[sheabutterbitch]

I know that I can’t go through this life without asking for help but how tempting it is to absolve myself of ever having that thrown in my face

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what this year feels like

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I feel like manifestation is out of the norm for so many people even though religious texts tell us we are literally made from God's breath

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Life through divine eyes

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NME: Listen to Fiona Apple’s powerful first song in five years, ‘Pretrial (Let Her Go Home)’

Fiona Apple said in a press statement: “I was a court watcher for over two years. In that time, I took notes on thousands of bond hearings. Time and time again, I listened as people were taken away and put in jail, for no other reason than that they couldn’t afford to buy their way free. It was particularly hard to hear mothers and caretakers get taken away from the people who depend on them.”

“For the past five years, I have been volunteering with the Free Black Mamas DMV bailout, and I have been lucky to be able to witness the stories of women who fought for and won their freedom with the tireless and loving support of the leadership,” she continued. “I hope that this song, and the images shared with me, can help to show what is at stake when someone is kept in pretrial detention. I give this song in friendship and respect to all who have experienced the pain of pretrial detention and to the women of the group’s leadership who have taught me so much and whom I truly love.”

Donations to help those affected by pre-trial detention pay their bail and reunite them with their families can be made here. Additionally, you can find out more about the Free Black Mamas DMV here, and register here to volunteer for court watching to ensure fair rulings.

[sheabutterbitch]

I secretly applied to a doctoral program at the start of the year. I say secretly because I only told my boyfriend and a few select people since honestly, I wasn’t sure I’d get in.

I received my acceptance letter yesterday and I’m so happy to be able to blab about it now! I can’t hold water and it has been so difficult to keep my mouth shut.

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