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sheepamongdemons · 2 days

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so, random thought, there's a good chance the demon bros inadvertently harmed mc in some capacity just because human and demon limits are so vastly different, and the main human any have had contact with is Solomon, whose humanity is somewhat debatable. mc might act like they're invincible, but they are human in the end, and human durability is largely that we can keep going after almost any injury, not that we don't get injured

like Lucifer strings them up as he would his brothers, forgetting (assume he's really tired or stressed or whatever) that doing so puts a lot of pressure on the body and can cause actual damage instead of just being annoying like it is to his brothers. depending on how exactly he ties them up it'd change the effects but it's never gonna be great for them

Mammon running away from shenanigans with them and he tugs on their hand a bit too hard and fast to get them safely around a corner and dislocates their shoulder in the process because force = mass x speed and Mammon is a speedy boy. or he's running from Lucifer and slams into them at top speed, and if they can't protect their head from the wall/floor you know Mams is freaking out because mc is all out of it and there's so much blood and he doesn't care how Lucifer punishes him as long as he makes sure mc is alright

otaku Levi with his nonexistent sleep schedule doesn't realise just how badly sleep deprivation affects humans. paranoia, weakened immune system, depersonalisation, all the way to sleep deprivation psychosis. you go 96 hours or 4 days without sleep and lemme tell you, you ain't properly attached to reality anymore. been there, done that, would not recommend. there were bugs crawling all over my arms and legs and shadow people whispering. fucking sucked, and I was constantly shaking so I kept dropping stuff

if anyone knows about human durability, at least in theory, it's Satan, but the avatar of wrath can be emotionally charged. he really didn't mean to hurt them, but he was trying so hard not to lose it that day and as he led mc out of his room so they wouldn't be caught in the inevitable explosion, his deadly sharp claws nicked their skin. the wounds were mostly superficial— hurt like a bitch but no major arteries were damaged— but there was quite a lot of blood and Satan felt sick in a way he never had before. humans scar easily, a useful trait to close open wounds quickly, but Satan hates that he was the cause of those raised lines

Asmo is probably best at remembering since he hangs out with Solomon and has had human lovers before, but he is mostly around Solomon who cannot die. so he doesn't always remember what is and isn't toxic for humans, especially since a lot of poisons are used in medicines at lower doses and a lot of things we need to live are poisonous if we consume enough. it'd only take one slip up to put mc in hospital, and of course they don't blame him but he begs Satan to teach him as much as he can so it never happens again

you know Beel would try his best to remember, and he'd feel horribly guilty if he ever hurt mc, but he's big and strong even by demon standards and can eat anything that isn't Solomon's cooking. there's a few ways this one could go— sharing food with them that's toxic to humans, hugging them a bit too hard, mc giving him their food and going hungry, they work out together and they get hurt... take your pick

and Belphie knows all too well how fragile mc is, so he's very careful with his demonic strength around them. he already killed them once with barely any effort. but one day he wakes up from napping with mc to find he held them too hard and they're bruising. maybe his arm curled around their neck as it bloomed black and blue once again. Belphie doesn't nap with them for a while after that

! ANON! 💕💕💕💕

I don't know how you sniped me from across the highway but whump/injuries are exactly my cup of obsession and I've thought about this forever- i just never really had enough to make a full post. I LOVE your ideas and I hope you dont mind me bouncing some of my own off them;

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Lucifer and his funny little habit of hanging his brothers 💕 Say he takes pity on MC, makes sure they're right side up, nothing around the neck and only tied beneath the arms and around the legs. Plans to take them down in 5 minutes, really it was meant to be the pet equivalent of air jail. But a call here, difficulties there and 5 minutes turn to 10 and then it slips to 15. It's so little time, absolutely nothing compared to the nights he's left Mammon up over the banister.

So why are there screams in the hall? Why are Asmo, Mammon and Levi on the phone with Solomon, Barbatos, and Simeon respectively? He doesn't understand why they don't immediatley drop MC down, only catching the tail end of Solomon explaing something called "suspension trauma" to Asmo. When they do get MC down, even from a distance he can see the color is almost completely gone from their face, while their legs are a few shades darker. He watches Satan mouth out the count for MC's pulse, quick and staggering. When MC wakes, they can't seem to take a proper breath- gasping, clutching their chest, tearing up and confused. There isn't much more any of them can do, other than stand back and hand MC over to Barbatos and Solomon.

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In a movie, it would be considered slapstick comedy, the way that Mammon skid around a corner full speed, carpet pulling under his feet , hip checking the wall as he ran away from Lucifer. In a movie it would be hilarious they way him and MC crashed, sending them literally flying back, head bouncing off the wall, swirls in their eyes and stars dancing around their head. In a movie they would only need to shake it off and get up to yell at him, with Lucifer standing back and watching in smug satisfaction.

But there wasn't anything funny about this, MC slumped in his arms, blood turning his tshirt into a darker shade of black, making it tacky and stick onto his skin. They're awake, sort of? But their pupils aren't the same size, and the speech is slurred. There's a truce as Lucifer heals MC, and they get them to a proper doctor.

Mammon gets better at ducking and weaving around MC, it even helps him evade Lucifer better. But MC doesn't escape the dislocated shoulders, and unwanted popping of their knuckles when Mammon holds their hand too hard. Neither had known that after the first dislocation, its a lot easier to dislocate your should again. It's never intentional, but it always hurts- MC tries to breathe through it if there is an urgency, but Mammon catches the way they pointedly look away, trying to blink the tears away, and knows that he's- once again- failed to keep MC out of harm.

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Levi being MC's energy drink dealer. He doesnt know why they dont but their own, but he has plenty so he ultimately doesnt mind sharing. They're not attached at the hip so he doesnt see how little sleep MC is getting, a single can carrying them through 2 whole days. They know its time to 1-up again when their heart stops sounding like helicopter blades.

He finds them on the floor of their room, rubbing their arms raw with the hard bristle brush Asmo uses to buff his horns, babbling incoherently to themselves.

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With Satan the physical is NEVER intentional, as much as he used to rage in the early days of the fall, the thought of hurting MC didn't sit well with him. But tiny nicks are so easy to cause when even his regular nails are sharper than a humans'. If MC can keep their reactions subtle, it wont be until Satan is laying in their lap that he notices the "freckles" on their arms don't quite lay flat.

When you're used to fast reflexes, you don't think twice about slamming a door in someone's face. Someone (MC) who was too close and now has a broken, bloody nose. Now whenever the snore in their sleep, or their nose whistles when they laugh too hard, Satan remembers opening the door to MC doubled over, blood leaking from between their fingers as they tried to put pressure on the bridge of their nose.

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Dosage and concentration.

Asmo is vaugely familiar with these terms- SPF strength, alcohol proofing, acidity in his skin care. He's had so many spa nights with Solomon that he doesn't think twice about sharing his skin care routine with MC as well. Powders, gels, creams, exfoliants. Some a bit too harsh, MC's skin turns warm and flush, so he thinks their skin is sensitive. He'd ask for help caring for his wings and horns. MC goes in with their bare hands to get a good scrub, attributing the burn to the rough edges and upturned edges of Asmo's horns. It feels like icyhot, so it must be working. When they're done, Asmo tries to take the rest of the cream off their hands to apply to his hands, but they both scream as a visible layer of skin from MC starts peeling off as well. The acid having fulling numbed and killed off most of the senses in MC's hand, had started to deteriorate the skin, and its by some small blessing that MC hadnt already applied it to their face. It takes a panicked called to Solomon to get the feeling back into MC's hands, but it still takes weeks for the skin to grow back on to their hands. The pain of bandages on raw muscle is excruciating, and Asmo sticks to them like glue, fully taking the blame for their condition.

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Beel and Belphie have another trauma to share as twins- nearly killing MC in their sleep! Beel doesnt understand how heavy an unconcious body can be, and being as large as he is, this becomes a problem the first time him and MC share a bed. He falls asleep with an arm draped over them, but exhaustion from practice has him rolling on to them. Even if not entirely covering them, the weight on their chest makes it hard to breathe and MC soon drops nicities and is trying their damnest to get him off or at least wake him up. Its a panicked use of the pacts to call another brother that saves them, and Beel cant sleep for the rest of the night.

Belphie doesn't have as many night terrors these days, but they can still get bad. Usually sleeping with MC can keep these dreams at bay, but on nights that they dont, he wakes up to find MC tossed onto the floor or squeezed between him and the wall. On the worsts of these nights, he woke up to MC screaming, having wrapped a hand and tail so tightly around their arm that it shattered in 2 places.

(Can I also offer a beel and belphie alternative: MC wanting to match Beel's stamina/ gym workout time and getting muscle deterioration. Belphie wanting a sleeping partner so he messes up their sleeping cycles, 10+ hrs asleep, accidentally depriving them of light, water, and food, causing a depressive episode)

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sheepamongdemons · 6 days

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sheepamongdemons · 6 days

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So, demon, reaper and an angel walk into a bar...

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sheepamongdemons · 13 days

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*gasp* who said that

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sheepamongdemons · 15 days

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A lot of younger people have no idea what aging actually looks and feels like, and the reasons behind it. That ignorance is so dangerous. If you don’t want to “be old,” you aren’t talking about a number of years. I have patients in their late 80s who could still handily beat me in a race—one couple still runs marathons together, in their late 80s—and I lost someone who was in her early 60s to COPD last year. What you want is not youth, it is health.

If you want to still be able to enjoy doing things in your 60s and 70s and 80s and even 90s, what you want to do, right now, is quit smoking, get some activity on a regular basis (a couple of walks a week is WAY better for you than nothing; increasing from 1 hour a day of cardio to 1.5 will buy you very little), and eat some plants. That’s it. No magic to it. No secret weird tricks. Don’t poison yourself, move around so your body doesn’t forget how, and eat plants.

If you have trouble moving around now because of mobility limitations, bad news: you still need to move around, not because it’s immoral not to, but because that’s still the best advice we have. I highly recommend looking up the Sit and Be Fit series; it is freely available and has exercises that can be done in a chair, which are suitable for people with limited mobility or poor balance. POTS sufferers, I’m looking at you.

If you have trouble eating plants because of dietary issues (they cause gas, etc.) or just because they’re bitter (super taster with texture issues here!), bad news. You still want to find a way to get some plants into your body on a regular basis. I know. It sucks. The only way I can do it is restaurants—they can make salads taste like food. I can also tolerate some bagged salads. On bad weeks, the OCD with contamination focus gets so bad I just can’t. However, canned beans always seem “safe,” and they taste a bit like candy, so they’re a good fallback.

If you smoke and you have tried quitting a million times and you’re just not ready to, bad news. You still need to quit. Your body needs you to try and keep trying. Your brain needs it, too. Damaging small blood vessels racks up cumulative damage over time that your body can start trying to reverse as soon as you quit. I know it’s insanely, absurdly addictive. You still need to.

You cannot rules lawyer your way past your body’s basic needs. It needs food, sleep, activity, and the absence of poison. Those are both small things and big asks. You cannot sustain a routine based on punishment, so don’t punish your body. Find ways to include these things that are enjoyable and rewarding instead. Experiment. There is no reason not to experiment—you don’t have to know instantly what’s going to work for you and what won’t, you just need to be willing to try things and make changes when things aren’t working for you.

You will still age. Your body will stop making collagen and elastin. Tissues you can see and tissues you can’t see will both sag. Cushioning tissues under your skin will get thinner. You’ll bruise more easily. Skin will tear more easily. Accumulated sun damage will start to show more and more. Joints will begin to show arthritis. Tendons and ligaments will get weaker and get injured more easily, as will muscles. Bones will lose mass and get easier to break. You’ll get tired more easily.

But you know what makes the difference between being dead, or as good as, in your 60s vs your 90s? Activity, plants, and quitting smoking. And don’t do meth. Saw a 58-year-old guy this week who is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t quit whatever stimulant he’s on. I pretended to believe it was just the cigarettes, and maybe it is, but meth and cocaine will kill you quicker. Stop poisoning yourself.

Baby steps; take it one step at a time; you don’t need to have everything figured out right now. But you do need to be working on figuring things out.

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sheepamongdemons · 15 days

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bunny!mephistopheles + fem!reader, who just fuckin' hates your guts but his rut clouded brain is just too intoxicated in your scent he needs to breed. why do you have to look so fucking sexy, both snickering or bent over taking his cock down your cunt, gushing slick all down his balls and thighs that messily slap loudly against the back of your own, with strings of white-ish slick connecting your bodies from the multiple loads he poured into your fertile womb.

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sheepamongdemons · 15 days

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Things Obey Me has told us about Solomon that have never been brought up again

he had one other apprentice before us

he's not fond of the ocean

he really likes the OM universe's version of Silence of the Lambs

He often forgets anniversaries

He walked - by foot - to Hell and then back to Earth, stopping to play chess in the first circle of Hell.

On the Wiki, one of his aliases is "Mister Stiff" which is very funny to me

His Friend.

Took advantage of a drunk Asmo

"Him"

feel free to add onto this list!

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sheepamongdemons · 15 days

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little drawing practise

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sheepamongdemons · 17 days

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Congrats on the 4000🎊🎉🎊

Could I request 🧳 with Asmodeus 😘

Thank you, and thank you for your patience!!

"If you really want to go, I'll come with you." - Asmodeus

cw: blood, implication that a drink was laced

*Note: Afray is one of several demons that serves both Asmodeus and Astaroth, and their name means "dust".

“Afray,” the lesser demon’s name leaves Asmodeus’ lips in a near-whine as he holds out an empty glass, “I feel like you haven’t been paying me enough attention lately. Do you like being with Astaroth more?”

“Of course not, Lord Asmodeus.” Afray smiles as they dutifully pour more Demonus into the offered cup. “I’ve just been quite busy, that’s all. But just between me and you,” they lean in closer, “I much prefer being by your side than Lord Astaroth’s.”

“Of course you do!” Asmodeus giggles before taking a slow sip, his gaze still focused on the other. “Who doesn’t want to be by my side and have the privilege of being so close to all this beauty?”

“Indeed,” their smile doesn’t budge, “I’m forever grateful that you’ve deemed me worthy enough to serve you.”

“Well, I don’t let just anyone get so close to me like this, after all.” Finely manicured claws go to gently hold the other demon’s chin, thumb stroking their lips. “While no one can compare to my beauty, you’re just so pleasing to look at.”

Something flickers in Afray’s eyes, and Asmodeus notices.

“It’s really a shame, though.” His grip tightens, claws beginning to pierce flesh. “You’d be so much more pleasing to look at if you were a better liar.”

Finally, the smile drops as disbelief takes over Afray’s features. “Th-that hurts – and whatever do you mean? I haven’t lied.”

“Mmm, and there you go again. It really does make you look much more…” he scrunches up his nose, “...ugly.” Asmodeus holds up his glass with his other hand, turning it slightly in the light. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

There it is again, that look in their eyes.

“N-notice what?” Afray gulps, a hand going up to grip Asmodeus’ wrist in an effort to be released. “It’s just a particular vintage. I’m sorry if it wasn’t to your taste, I can grab ano–AHH!” They let out a yell as they’re lifted into the air, bleeding from where claws have fully dug into their face.

“Oh, if only it was a matter of taste.” Asmodeus slowly licks his lips, as if savoring every drop. “It’s you tampering with the drink that I’m not a fan of – and let me guess, you gave those bottles you wanted me to take home to my brothers your special little treatment too, right?”

“P-please, l-let me go!” Afray hisses, struggles in the greater demon’s grip, tail and feet flailing in the air. “I-I’m sorry, I–ack–I’ll do what..ever you want, just…let me go!”

“Whatever I want? Well, what I want right now my dear, sweet Afray, is to make it so that your name is quite literal.” He smirks as he sees the panic spread. “Turn you into dust, and oh, I’m sure you’d make for a wonderful highlighter. Could really make my cheekbones pop!”

“Just let me go!” Afray scratches and claws at Asmodeus’ arm, desperately trying to escape. “Please!”

“Tch, really, you’re just going to ruin my skin like that?!” Tired of how much they were struggling, Asmodeus tosses Afray to the floor. They scramble to get up, but find themselves pinned down by a heel as the greater demon hovers over them.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I don’t know what I was thinking, I-I was put up to it! They offered me so much I couldn’t refuse!” They grovel, hands now clawing at the ground. “I-if you let me go, I promise, I’ll do whatever it takes! I’ll tell you everything! I’ll go a-and make things right!”

“Alright.” Asmodeus takes his foot off the other’s back. “If you really want to go,” he leans down, his voice full of devilish glee. “I’ll come with you!”

“Wh-what?”

“Well, I need to make sure you actually ‘make things right’. Astaroth won’t be too pleased to hear about this either, you know? You’re going to want me there to make sure you don’t mess up again.” He grabs them by the scruff of their neck, hoisting them up so that they’re now on their knees. “And you know how much I enjoy beauty. After all, you just look so much prettier when you beg.”

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