sheisher-shewillbeher - Tumblr blog

[sheisher-shewillbeher]

The “Pope-Effect”

He says “Mom how many times have you watched this show?” I look at him and say “I don’t know son?” I guess there is something about Olivia Pope the main  character especially. I love how relatable she can be in the midst of her superhuman tasking’.  She literally saves the world but still can be susceptible to getting her feelings crushed and drinking her wine and eating popcorn on her couch lonely at night while nursing a broken heart.  

I find that in my day to day I can put out fires and keep this house running and this family going all the while slaying any and every tasking that is required of me at work .... and well in the evenings I sit here at my Tumblr.... or either my journal and I type/ ink down my feelings that are derived from that heartbreak, that despair, that pit of loneliness.  Although the wine and popcorn sound divine I pass on that as I am a stickler when it comes to my Intermittent Fasting.  Because if all else under my control fails at least I have successfully completed my intermittent fasting.  Look these small successes matter!!  Anyways it is about 10pm and I need to get ready to head to bed.  I plan to work a half day tomorrow as its supposed to be freakin’ 50 degrees! This is time that must be spent outside!! I have to take advantage of these unseasonably warm weather days as much as possible!  

[sheisher-shewillbeher]

Conversations With My Dad

The weather was predicting snow...again but hey its February and well this is the norm here.  So calling my dad just to chat and check up on him and I all of a sudden have this overwhelming feeling of longing for the warm spring and summer days of long walks and FISHING ....yes Fishing with my dad. So he answers the phone and the 1st thing out of my mouth is .....” Dad don’t these cold days make you regret the nice warm days that you turned down a good days fishing spent at the lake?” He chuckled and agreed and deep inside I knew that I had subscribed to a summer long commitment of fishing and honestly I cant wait!

[sheisher-shewillbeher]

The Other Side of Feelings...

I wonder if its true that when I am thinking of you, you are thinking of me too.  I wonder if its safe for us to be thinking of each other simultaneously....and when we are what happens to the ones who think about us? you know the ones that we were supposed to be thinking of all along instead of thinking of each other?? How do they feel?  I wonder how empty it feels to long for someone who isn't even aware that you are thinking of them all the while they are thinking of someone else. With that thought in mind I think I should re-direct my thoughts to the one I should be thinking of because if its not true that when I am thinking of you, you are thinking of me then that means that I am the one who is thinking of someone who isn't even aware of me thinking of them while they are thinking of someone else, and just the thought of being THAT PERSON...well that feeling is gut wrenching.