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I love when household beasts are like whoa. You were gonna piss all on your own? No backup or companionship or anything? Babe. I got you. I'm right here. You don't have to be alone during this difficult time (pissing), and you won't be. Ever. This is not a discussion.
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im in a field irl and just mentally tried to optifine zoom on a cow in the distance
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Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.
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i had dream you were a plum instead of a fish and you were arguing with a grape
any grapes out there looking to start some shit?
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Artificial intelligence makes accurate sheep counting.
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hey can you do me a favor and start that project that you wanted to work on please I am begging you to do the first step
literally only the first step
you only have to do the first step
PLEASE PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU SO MUCH
like if it's an art project open your art software or gather materials
If it requires reaching out to someone just send that email or whatever
If it's writing please make an outline
etc etc you know what the project is please start it please PLEASE
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PLEASE
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE
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the author's barely disguised hobbies and interests
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burning text gif maker
heart locket gif maker
minecraft advancement maker
minecraft logo font text generator w/assorted textures and pride flags
windows error message maker (win1.0-win11)
FromSoftware image macro generator (elden ring Noun Verbed text)
image to 3d effect gif
vaporwave image generator
microsoft wordart maker (REALLY annoying to use on mobile)
you're welcome
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David Attenborough narration: But this very special Fish has not come here to feed...
Me: No way dude I was so sure he was hungry but my expectations are subverted Listening and learning.
David Attenborough narration: ...He has come here... To Breed.
Me: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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kermit the frog in 'the muppets take manhattan' (1984)
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I think I could last 3 minutes in the microwave. I'm strong. I'm stronger than you realize
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YOU ARE GORGEOUS
YOU ARE WORTHY OF PLATONIC AND/OR ROMANTIC LOVE
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT ELSE YOU'RE WORTHY OF??
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
*throws a dollar at you*
THAT'S RIGHT.
fourteen dollar
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