shel0vesme - Tumblr blog

[shel0vesme]

for the first time i dont think im falling in love with the idea of love but falling very slowly in love with what i have in this present time which feels so different and scary thinking this is not love but just maybe this is the purest form of love

[shel0vesme]

falling in love for the first time is magical

falling in love after that is a mix of emotions hoping that its different from your first time, but i think its really brave to let yourself fall in love again and again, this time its not all dreams and illusions, but rather than the comfort of knowing theres someone that wants to love you, and i think thats worth it all

[shel0vesme]

i do this to u

[shel0vesme]

oh im looking for AFFECTION in all the WRONG! PLACES!

[shel0vesme]

[shel0vesme]

sometimes you just have to cry a little about the actions you did to yourself and end up doing it again but realizing you have to be drunk to do it so you'll get drunk over and over again just to feel someting but at the same time there's something so cool and poetic about it

be the cool drunk messy girl who cares you have to do something with your life and if the only thing is to fuck it up then do it

[shel0vesme]

Looking for Alaska (2019)

[shel0vesme]

i forget how i have always lived the life that i wanted!!!!! i think of myself as a loser but it was 2020 the world was ending and i was getting drunk any chance i got with my friends!!!! i was having sex with my (then) boyfriend and taking pics of it omg, i was smoking alone in my rooftop and dressing like a total 2014 tumblr girl dyeing my hair red and all of that shit!!!!!! getting into random guys cars and screaming out the window!!!!! omg i love my life and every stage of it

[shel0vesme]

why do i still find love in all the wrong places? im afraid that this love will grow out of my hands and i don't know what i want to do with it but i know that if you try to kiss me i wouldn't pull apart and i think thats what scares me

i wish i didn't want you and i wish that you didn't want me but i know we both know and i can see it in your eyes and in the way that you talk to me i still read your letter every night before i go to sleep and i dont ever sleep looking at my left side because i know that if i do i'm going to wish you were still sleeping right next to me as we secretly hold hands and i touch every one of your fingers doing it as a joke but craving your touch, that's what scares me and you came so out of nowhere and now i don't know what should i do with all of this.

i know i wouldn't change it for anything and i know that we cannot do anything and i wish to conserve this love in a fragile glass as we both take care of it and care that it never opens again.

it still breaks my heart that i told you that you cannot tell anyone about this, but i pray to god that he gives me the chance to still be in your life for a long time.

[shel0vesme]

i love/hate being the manix pixie dream girl since it allows me to be nothing but an image on someone's mind but also reduce me to also just be the perfect girl in a boy's mind

[shel0vesme]

[shel0vesme]

for the first time in my life i am not afraid of growing up and the little girl i was before is not disappearing but rather than slowly returning to me while also evolving to who i am today

[shel0vesme]

[shel0vesme]

omg i fucking hate men i hate them so much because of how they make me feel they dont add anything to my life and i hate how they can change my mood in seconds i hate how they dont use their brain and i hate that i encounter shit men and its all my dads fault for being the way he is and now i worry every night that im doomed to only have shit men in my life and even the ones that i thought were good ones and gave them my heart always found a way to destroy me and i hate them for life and i hate that im never comfortable around them and i hate how they make me feel and how they dont like me and i hate that i dont know how to talk to them and that they always leave and i hate that i fear i will never find a good one but i know there is one but i just hate that other men just keep hurting me and i hate how fucking stupid they are and i just hate them

[shel0vesme]

𝓵𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓰𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝓲𝓷 𝓪𝓻𝓶𝓸𝓾𝓻; 𝓪 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓬𝓮𝓹𝓽

[shel0vesme]

also i just dyed my hair black so i cant wait to show my new personality on bars and clubs i feel so tara yummy ludovica storti effy from skins 2000s emo girl mandy milkovich it girl core

[shel0vesme]

you say im in love, i say youre a fool

i hate feeling like im always waiting for love. i hate putting my love on hold just bc some assholes decides to treat me like shit and now i question if im going to find someone right for me