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Easter egg for office workers: if you go onto Excel and press ctrl+left, then ctrl+down, you will reach cell XFD1048576. If you put a dot in there, then ctrl+A and fill every cell in black, you can then print 34 million black pages from your office printer and get fired

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at least can all we agree that the original gay flag with the magic and sex colours is BEAUTIFUL and it should make a comeback

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Apparently my stepdad and I are fucking psychically linked because ?? every single time he makes chili for dinner I get a migraine. Without fail. And it became like a ha ha running joke because it happened so many times but now I’m living 3 hours away from my parents and I just texted my mom and

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME

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im like if someones deadbeat loser unemployed boyfriend was a girl with a job

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Story time:

When I was in college I was the only one in the dorm with a car which made me VERY popular, but more importantly because I was so fucking down bad for my next door neighbor, I volunteered to drive her to church [literal actual baptist church my jewish ass had balls of fucking steel to walk into that bitch every week drooling after a hot femme lordt]

This went normal and fine for about three weeks until one time her roommate had a dude over and she was like "can I stay in your room tonight so I actually get some sleep before church 🥺?"

So I let her stay in my bed and well. Folks. She didn't sleep. But we DID play "how many orgasms does it take to make you pass out?" And it turns out the answer was 15 sometime around 3am the next morning. We obvi wake up RUSHINGGGGGGG to church the next morning, and when we arrive looking frazzled, the pastor looks her up and down and asks how she's doing and is she having a tough time with finals? And she just goes "no, I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night, we were studying." And the pastor goes "oh yeah, what are you studying for?"

And without missing a beat my dyke ass says "Bible Study."

If looks could kill, I think she would have ended me on the spot, but four hours later she was calling me god in the backseat of my car while I ate her out sooooooooo pretty sure the moral to this story is that pre-marital lesbian sex is fine as long as you can emotionally scar an old man in the process.

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“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

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feel like the lesbians that arent on football (soccer) twitter need to know that the england womens captain has bagged miss usa

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i kiss you on the mouth and end my turn

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University really is about looking at the worst pdf known to man huh

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lobber need a fucking break from it all

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If you are having a bad day, here's a triangle with all 90 degree angles to help distract you

We love the 270° triangle. So perfect, so even. The right equilateral triangle.

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>telling mommy no

are you insane

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There's only one real way to categorise disorders and it's when you google it and the first results fit into one or more of the following categories:

1. "Is your child-" "Does your child-" "How to cope with the burden of being a parent for-"

2. "How to get better: Step One: have a lot of money!" "How to get better: Step One: simply stop having it!"

3. "10 Ways To Spot Sickopaths With This Disorder So You Can Protect Yourself" "The Bad People Disease -by Dr. Eugene X."