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“I sacrificed myself for Gem, at least I did something”

lineart under the cut

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my piece for @gempearlzine. secret life, of course.

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the just-a-little-guy-ification of grian, done by both grian himself and the fandom in imitation, has done serious harm to the fandom's ability to gauge just how efficient this man is at killing his friends. despite never getting boogey and rarely being an early red, grian racks up kills in the early game at a rate that literally nobody else does. it's against the rules to kill on green, after all, and from time to time people slip up, but since grian has the security of being the guy who makes the rules, he feels no such inhibition and sets traps at will long before the danger of red lives and the necessity of defense comes into play. this comment response from cleo perfectly displays the cognitive dissonance at play here.

the martyrification of scott smajor, done by both scott himself (working triple overtime) and the fandom in imitation, has done serious harm to the fandom's ability to gauge just how efficient this man is at warping the narrative in his favor. thanks to scott's considerable efforts, he's got most people convinced that he's a moral player who hates killing, that everything that happens to him is according to plan, and that jimmy is both terrible at the game and obsessed with scott, rather than the other way round. and don't even get me started on double life. there is nothing more moral about the way scott plays the game, he just happens to be really good at convincing you otherwise.

the girlbossification of geminitay, done by both gem herself and the fandom in imitation, is fine actually. yeah she sucks but i'm a feminist so i'm gonna let her have this one

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ethubs making out between comms

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THE GEMPEARL ZINE IS OUT NOW!!

You can go dowload it with this link:

you can also read all the fics featured in the zine here:

the collection will be updated with individual contributor's works as they post them, so stay tuned for those releasing!!

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thank you to everyone who contributed to this zine, whether that was as a mod, writer, artist, or just by liking and reblogging the updates and teasers we have been sending out!

I hope you all love this as much as we do! You can really see all the love and hard work put into this zine, and I am so happy that it's finally releasing now!

@mcytblrsource :D

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5am Pearl

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falsesymmetry should just be allowed to kill people i think

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dog's loyalty or whatever

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so anyway can you people all shut the fuck up about skizz being evil now and admit he's just some guy who's a bit of a centrist but trying his best to be kind. can we all go home now

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so ive been away and haven't watched any of past life and have only been getting context clues about the episodes through vaugely mysterious tumblr artwork and I'm Really scared about whatever happened to Pearl last session

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Coloured sketches of s8 scar and gem then some esmp s2 gem (I love her)

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I’m tired of ‘Hellos’, I wanna say ‘Goodbyes’

line was so banger i HAD to draw something

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everyone get more cletho pilled NOW!!!!

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i like the idea that the life series is the horrifying torture angst fest fanon makes it out to be but only for Martyn. everyone else is there willingly like, yeah that's my buddy Grian's death game, he needs violence and chaos to survive, but its a good time all around. they do not know that martyn is experiencing The Horrors

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honestly etho is pretty real for saying "idk if i should be anything. i just am"

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Got jumpscared by like 30 people showing up in my house hearing my madman ramblings so uh, guess I should make a more detailed post about it???? Anyways the traffic!gempearl appeal for me at least is that gem is looking for a version of pearl that doesn't exist. She's trying so desperately to make her worse in hopes it'll bring out the scarlet pearl she heard so much about, while also not knowing that scarlet pearl was never real. Scarlet pearl was a character. A rumour. A story that didn't even really exist in double life but in the seasons after it. Honestly it's hard to lay out the points without them getting messy in paragraphs so wait I need to list them out. To point is

Gem wants to bring the Scarlet Pearl out of Pearl

Scarlet Pearl doesn't exist, and never did

Scarlet Pearl was a reputation that overshadowed how dl!Pearl acted herself. It was a tool, a vague threat, a reason to ostracize the odd one out in a game of pairs, whether anyone was aware of what they were doing or not

Scarlet Pearl never existed in double life. At least, not until the finale. What existed in double life was someone weird. Someone alone. Why was she alone? No one knows why, but there must be a reason, so she should stay alone

Gem has a reputation that precedes her, just like the Scarlet Pearl

If Pearl could just stop holding back for once, maybe Gem can have a glace at that legendary, almost fantastical version of Pearl. The one that killed with glee. The one that fights with ease. The one leagues above everyone else. The threat.

Gem wants a version of Pearl that matches Gem's own reputation

That version of Pearl doesn't exist, and never will.

The wandering Pearl, the drifter, the one who is too quick to criticize their own lighthouse and too friendly to the other alliances, that's the version of Pearl that exists

Gem and Grian keep poking at her, questioning her loyalty, trying to find the Scarlet Pearl hidden underneath her

Scarlet Pearl doesn't exist, but Pearl does. And Pearl doesn't deal well with loneliness.