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Nghiem Tran, from "Asking My Mother about Her Childhood"

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"DARLING, DEAREST, DEAD."

I randomly came across this sentence on a Tumblr post. I don't know where it came from, whether it's from a book, a movie, or a song. I googled it and it's a series of dedications in a book. I don't know the context in which the writer used it, but I do know that the words darling, dearest, and dead in the same sentence are haunting. I haven't been able to get it out of my head since I read it. You love someone, you cherish someone, you care for them and then they die. You're heartbroken, and these can be the words your heart cries out, but this sounds like a linear story. Doesn't it?

Do we love people and then cry when they die? No. We take people for granted and then cry. We disrespect them and then cry. We make them feel unworthy and then regret it. Most of our tears are less grief and more regret.

"I wish I would have talked to them nicely."

"I wish I had resolved the misunderstandings already ."

"I wish I could go back in time and fix everything ."

"I wish I had been a better person to them."

"I wish I could take back those words."

"I wish, I wish, I wish."

But that doesn't change anything and you carry your regret and grief forward in your life, the regret being so heavy that it often makes your life miserable.

The reasons why things happen, whether small and petty or large and significant, don’t matter as much as the fact that death is larger than any of them. It's greater and heavier than any of the stones you have to turn to make things better.

I often think about people who go out of their way to harm me in various ways, to be rude to me, to demean me, to assassinate my character in any way they can. I wonder about what they will be thinking if I die today. Will their regret haunt them? Will their life be miserable? Will they live as happily as they do now? Will they be at peace with the harm they have done? Would they want to turn back time and wish for one more chance? I hope they do, but more than that, I hope they could be good to me while I am alive.

So, it turns out that people in your life might also be waiting for you to take the first step. Don't wait for them to do that. Maybe they are not courageous enough, maybe they are afraid of your reactions, maybe there are other reasons but what you do is in your control. Take the first step: be the bigger person, which I know can be very difficult, but it can save you and them from a lot of pain. Do it for yourself.

"David Mamet said, 'We regret the things we did not do more than the things we did.'” You would not want to drown yourself in that kind of regret.

They're still alive, you still have a chance.

Remember, Death is not the prerequisite to love. Do not wait for them to die to love them.

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sing me lullabies of broken dreams and memories long forgotten. —𝓜𝓼. 𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓹𝓮

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“Remember that you were art long before he came to admire you, and you’ll continue to be art even when he’s gone. A masterpiece is still a masterpiece when the lights are off, and the room is empty.”

— Charlotte Beier

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J.R.R. Tolkien, from The Return of the King

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And there I stood,

In between the border of the world and my home,

Struggling to choose the way I should head,

I was screaming,I couldn't breathe,my legs refusing to move.

It was now or never.

The voice of that little girl in my head reminded my of my mother's warmth,my little brother's giggle,my sister's smile,my father's jokes.

She still had hopes.

But that old soul in my head,reminded me,

My mother's screams,my brother's tears,my sister's silence,my father's anger.

She repeated, it's now or never

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~the moon and the stars~

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Freya Hartas (@freyahartas)

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Here's to whatever's next

writtenbyjv on Instagram/ @fairycosmos /barbaricbrownbiblophile on Instagram/es.trig on Instagram/David Leviathan/Richard Siken/loveandfear on Twitter

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I yearn to be the happy shade of blue.

— 𝓜𝓼. 𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓸𝓹𝓮

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Vision in Which the Final Blackbird Disappears by Phillip B. Williams in Poetry Magazine February 2016

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I fucking love Ronan Lynch. This man is so whimsical. Which, how can you not be, when you're some sort of dream deity thing? But it's great because the deeply traumatized human part of him would punch you in the face for even suggesting that he would sink to the disgusting level of whimsy.

but for when he dreamed a literal actual magic Disney forest by his town (and then did it AGAIN, this time with more fae influence) and a little brother so he wouldn't be lonely and hand cream for his crush and various animals and a BABY BIRD HE COULD RAISE. His psychopomp is a child that he jumped into acid for. He has DIRECTLY stated that his favorite thing to dream is light. Even when he was trying to actually be the cool, edgy, too-cool-for-friends teenager he poses as, he still dreamt his best friend's favorite item (Camaro) and pulled the physical embodiment of his entire psychology out of his brain to protect his friends and his tattoo that was supposed to be a rebellion against his brother is actually the shape of his soul. When he kissed Adam for the first time, he was holding a car that plays music when you spin its wheels. Like hello???? This man's head is so full of symbolism and flowers and light

Sorry Ronan, you're never beating the cottagecore allegat--- *gets sucker punched*

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the sky and girlhood are both briefly pink // for a moment I thought I could taste it

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Maram al-Massri, from A Red Cherry on a White-Tiled Floor (trans. Khaled Mattawa) [ID'd]

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was it casual?

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? // east, edith pattou // cotton candy on a rainy day, nikki giovanni // little women, louisa may // go forget your father, cathy linh che // ? // molly mccully brown