shetheswift - Tumblr blog

[shetheswift]

But I am so happy and proud to see my fellow swifties get noticed, genuinely. just that the long time dream of " I hope me too" sometimes saddens me.

but that's life. There are things meant and aren't for you. Or maybe not just the right time.

Life of a fan 😁

@taylorswift

Oh btw, I am slowly saving for your next concert I don't know when that will be, but I will surely go.

At least there I'll feel like a close fan/ friend/family.

[shetheswift]

@taylorswift how i hope one day ypu will notice your fans not so active and only got less than 100 followers on social media. You help us in so many ways we cannot express into words and posts.

Personally, I don't know what exactly to post for you to notice that I am a big fan. I saved and bought merch and posted them hoping you'll se them but never actually used them coz its too precious to me I can't afford to scratch or worn-out them because I've gone through jobs over jobs to save extra for them.

Sometimes, jealousy gets me. hates myself because I am not as good of a fan as others whom you notices, not as rich like them who can buy or pre-order Merchs and albums right away whenever you drop one, not as good at memorising the lyrics of all your songs because It got mixed up in my mind with the things i have to do and get through my life everyday.

I love you so much that there came a time I turned off the notification because it hurts, seeing you like posts and posted comments of your favorites.

There was a time when I uninstalled spotify to refrain myself from listening to your songs cos I feel more alone.

Maybe I was just depressed and stressed out of what I have been going thru life that I hoped and thought I can run to you..

I don't know.

I know you wont read this but if you will, thank you.

[shetheswift]

I care too much and I hate myself for that.

[shetheswift]

Life. Just Life.

[shetheswift]

Recently G, you make me doubt you even more.

[shetheswift]

I don't know why am I not okay.

Why do I feel alone?

Why is it hard for me to do things?

I am getting nowhere.

[shetheswift]

Happy 31st Birthday Queen @taylorswift !

I baked this Filipino Yema Cake for 2 hours. I made two of these 1 for my housemates and will share the other one to my friends tomorrow.

I love you heaps!

I hope you'll see this.

[shetheswift]

@taylorswift I couldn't watch #folkloreOnDisneyPlus 😭

Am I late?

[shetheswift]

[shetheswift]

I was celebrating with my classmate earlier today marking 2 years of our very first memory of @taylorswift from her Brisbane Reputation concert, the best first time

But, this day also marks one of my greatest heartbreak 😭 My grandpa whom I havent seen for 2 years passed away today, I know he's in good hands no pain but still it kills me.

Because of COVID restrictions I won't be able to go home from Australia to Philippines, I can but I wont be able to come back and I have to finish my studies!

Even if I can go home I will need to be quarantined for 14 days in Manila, 14 days in Davao, and another 14 days in my suburb and the wake will only be for 9 days...

There's no other way.

I don't know when will I be okay or will I ever be.

I have no family around, I have friends here but I don't think they will understand how I feel. They said to just call them If I need them, like- do I really have to tell them?

Self-comfort is harder than I thought.

[shetheswift]

Why is it easy for them to ignore me now?

... coz youre not needed, Anymore!

[shetheswift]

You're not an option.

[shetheswift]

They took advantage of me. I got angry at them for the first time. Im the one who looked bad. Now, they want me to apologise.

I don't have such real friends who can underatand me whom I can depend on and tell my thoughts or rants without judgement.

I don't want to apologise for something I didn't do.

I feel alone and left out but I will not tolerate them anymore. I'm done.

[shetheswift]

Prepared some food, changed sheets, bought some snacks and cleaned the house coz they're coming over for a movie marathon and a sleepover but then they cancelled last minute, AGAIN..

I was to excited to spend time with them. It's always just me.

Ughh 😰

[shetheswift]

Things are getting tougher and tougher everyday. As much as I fight the weaker I become.

[shetheswift]

He wanted to get back to his ex .. as a friend who secretly likes him I supported him told him as long as it makes him happy.

And it damn hurts, so much! 😭