shimmeringstreetlamp

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WELCOEM TO MY FUCK HOUSE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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my toddler is 3 years old and wont eat anything other than fine porterhouse steaks and sweet port wine

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can you guys stop fighting over the same peice of lettuce. there is literally more right behind you

Don't get involved in things you don't understand

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If you really loved that iconic mushroom post you might enjoy this design in my Threadless, Redbubble, and Teepublic.

Sales support a broke queer art student and you get cool art on your stuff!

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i swear to arc there arent any ancient coins in the kibble bin. now get out

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this goat likes foraging

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Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

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just born yesterday. me and my dumb fuck life

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he is blogging

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slamming the big red button on my desk labeled "bweh" over and over again to no discernible effect

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One of the funniest things about you Marvel bitches is how much you suck at making gifs

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Kill you stupid fucking

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stoned and autistic at a party trying to make conversation: I find the comparative lifespan of organisms so interesting. Spiders are comparatively long lived animals. Female black widows can live up to 3 years but their male counterparts rarely live four months. Some tarantulas live upwards of 20 years. The longest lived spider was around 43 years old when she was cruelly assassinated by a parasitic wasp. Domestic rats have a lifespan comparable to female black widows. To put things into perspective, there are spiders that remember a pre-pandemic world but it is likely every rat on earth was born post-COVID. There could be a spider out there born when Reagan was in office.

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