shineyma

[shineyma]

Person in my gas station talking to someone on the phone: ...We're in Ohio...

Me, knowing we're in Utah: ????

[shineyma]

Lily koi pond trompe l'oeil mosaic floor

[shineyma]

[shineyma]

We're sorry, your salem witch trial has expired. Please upgrade to salem witch premium now

[shineyma]

[shineyma]

"the 5th celebrity you have saved on your phone -" you and i live in vastly different worlds

[shineyma]

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

[shineyma]

[shineyma]

My favorite Soviet era joke: Three Russian men were sent by their company to attend a convention in Moscow. All 3 shared a hotel room. Two of them cracked open a bottle of vodka, but the third just wanted to sleep. The two drinkers got louder and louder as the bottle emptied, telling each other political jokes. The third was kept awake, and got angry.

He went outside for a smoke. On his way back to his room, he stopped at the desk and said 'Please send a pot of tea up to room 23.'

The two drunks were still being loud. The third man went in, looked at them, then leaned over to the light socket 'Comrade Major, please send some tea to my room.'

The other men thought this was hilarious...until there was a knock on the door, and a waiter with a pot of tea. They became completely silent, and the third man fell asleep.

When he woke up in the morning, he was alone. He went to the front desk, and asked where his roommates were.

'Well, the KGB came this morning and took them away.'

The man was horrified 'why did they spare me?!?'

"The comrade major thought the tea joke was very funny."

[shineyma]

K-Pop Demon Hunters + music 🎶

[shineyma]

are you fucking kidding me

[shineyma]

[shineyma]

I need a little help here

[shineyma]

You are the raw egg guy but also you are literally a cheese guy

…oh my god. i. i am a cheese guy. i need a moment. just to think.

[shineyma]

[shineyma]