shinminew - Tumblr blog

[shinminew]

Am I sad?

[shinminew]

Ugh. Stop

[shinminew]

U piss me off. I fucking hate you

[shinminew]

I wanna rave too

[shinminew]

What's right and what's wrong who's to dictate?

[shinminew]

[shinminew]

I'm insensitive for telling you how I feel.

[shinminew]

things some people don't understand about depression

i am not just lazy. i am not motivated to do stuff in general. it's not that i'm too lazy to clean my room. even the minimum physical effort is sometimes too much to handle

i don't talk much not because i don't like the person i'm talking to. it's that i hate my voice, i hate myself, i am not funny, i am not interesting, so i just can't talk to you because i feel like i am a waste of your time

sometimes a depressed person can laugh. they can smile, seem ok. but it's just because they are with people that make them feel good or they are faking it

we complain a lot. we want to change things in out lives but we just don't have the energy to do that

not every depressed person self harms

even the smallest thing can influence our mood in a negative way

some people care a lot about stuff, some don't feel deep emotions. everyone's different and valid

it doesn't mean that i'm not sad if i don't cry. i can be sad and not cry too. some people expres emotion in other ways

[shinminew]

dear mom

if i was just lazy i wouldn’t be sitting at my desk, doing nothing, with my brain screaming at me to get some kind of work done. if i was just lazy i would have the energy to go the bathroom, not fall asleep on the couch instead. if i was just lazy i wouldn’t just stare at the bathroom wall for an hour instead of going to class. if i was just lazy i i don’t think id be able to be anorexic. please im begging you for help but you won’t fucking listen. i can’t do this.

[shinminew]

The voices in my head are getting louder. They get worse everyday, I can’t focus.

They tell me to hurt myself and I have to listen. They tell me to kill myself and I’m afraid that one day I can’t stop them...

They are too strong

[shinminew]

[shinminew]

so you’ve been laying around all day and you feel gross

take a shower

if you can’t do that, wash your face

dress up in your favorite outfit

if you want to, put on makeup

go on a walk

or, if you can’t, open a window

know that today will pass and you will feel better. let yourself feel and process and be lazy. you are loved. you will feel better.

[shinminew]

I can dissappear. Just tell me to. Sincerely.

[shinminew]

[shinminew]

I am me. Let me be me. Why can't I be me. Why do you have so many expectations.

[shinminew]

I always wanted to talk about how depressed I actually feel but I don't want to spread this negative energy to anyone. And in this society, talking about it to someone equates to me seeking for attention. But to be very honest with you, I need attention. I don't want to feel like i don't exist. Like I don't matter. Like my existence is not suppose to be. Like I'm insignificant. I want to feel loved. I want to feel like I'm wanted. I want to feel like I matter. I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying.

[shinminew]

If only someone could do this for me

I took a paper and a pen and started writing how beautiful you are and wrote all the things I couldn‘t tell you. I noticed the sentences turned into art. Honey, you are a poetry.

-H.S. (deepthoughtsvibes)