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I feel like, we as a society, don't talk enough about people messing up needle felting.

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Easter egg for office workers: if you go onto Excel and press ctrl+left, then ctrl+down, you will reach cell XFD1048576. If you put a dot in there, then ctrl+A and fill every cell in black, you can then print 34 million black pages from your office printer and get fired

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Court of Darkness Princes Describing Sex*

*Without using the word sex

GUY

Intercourse

…

Looks PROFOUNDLY uncomfortable and irritated saying the word aloud

Jasper: You look tense Prince Guy. Perhaps you would be more comfortable if you engaged in—*Smirks*

Guy: JASPER.

TOA

Pre-relationship with MC: My duty as future king to produce an heir

Post-relationship with MC: The joining of two souls

Fenn: You know, I would be more than happy to join—

Toa: NO.

LYNT

Sleeping

Fenn: No, not THAT sleeping Lynt!

Lynt: *Cocks his head quizzically* Naked sleeping?

FENN

Come to my chambers and let me show you instead 😘

The beast with two backs

The horizontal limbo

The dance with no pants

Continues describing sex for 5 minutes longer than you can tolerate it

ROY

Pre-Relationship with MC: *Smiles awkwardly* There are several educational books in the library if you desire to learn more—

Fenn: *Takes book out of Roy’s bag* Like this book?

Roy: Master Luxure PLEASE!

Post-relationship with MC: Making love

Roy: *Whispers to MC, smiling* All night long, if you permit it.

RIO

Sex? I’m a male!

Fenn: No, no, not THAT sex. Here’s a book that might help.

Rio: Ooh a picture book!

Roy: Rio NO!

LANCE

OI!

Refuses to answer the question

If Christop asks, he panics

BONUS - TINO

Umm, when two people love each other v-very much they—

Lynt: Chino, we love each other (Tino: Ahhh! Not that kind of love, Master Lynt!)

Lynt: Roy and Sherry love each other (Tino: AHHH! Not sibling love, Master Lynt!)

Fenn: More than two people can be involved if desired—(Tino: AHHHH! *Runs away*)

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Damn it's crazy how they really put effort into making Jasper not sound like a predator in the official translation

The Kiss Scandal Scramble - Lance Ira/Jasper Lane

まかナイ (Court of Darkness) Event Story Eng. Fan Translation

Chapter 1

I have a giant love-hate relationship with this story. One of the things I always would fantasize about Lance doing comes true, but it comes at the cost of one of the grossest Jasper story yet. Anyways, I translated up until the second chapter before starting to post any of this, because I had to get through the worst part–I couldn’t stop until things were mostly okay again. High key wanted to toss my computer across the room and had to take several moments of just gknjafnkgjkdjn because damn Jasper is just a whole fucking SEA of red flags in this. Ugh. That said, there’s no assault or drugging for those who may be concerned, and things do end happily! Well, depending on which end you choose, in my personal opinion. I plan on translating both as of right now, but I can’t guarantee the second end is gonna happen.)

>>Chapter 1<< | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Good End (💕🥰😍) | Bad End (🚩🙅‍♀️🚨) | Other Works/Content

さらに読む

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bro... this is the next event that's coming up in the English app, I think ... the pressure is real

Gotta see how I hold up to Voltage 😭

Fragments of Dormant Love - Lance Ira

まかナイ (Court of Darkness) Event Story Eng. Fan Translation

Chapter 1

I actually started translating this story like nine months ago, but only recently finished it! This is like one of the first Lance event stories I read, and honestly one of my favorites because I think it really shows how well Lance and his MC suit each other. It’s told from Lance’s point of view, so you also get to see what a softie he is~!

>>Chapter 1<< | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Last Chapter | Other Works/Content

さらに読む

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I pull the pin and throw the grenade straight up. Then I throw the pin straight up, and it slides right back into the grenade in midair, disarming it. When the grenade lands, it bonks me in the skull, killing me.

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a beast blocks the path ahead

what will you do

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I've never played a more perfect card in the 10 years I've been playing this game

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I see this headline:

As a former cakewrecks lover, I figured sure, I’ll bite. Let’s see this cake. Literally nothing could have prepared me for this cake. 

They paid $49 for this “frog-themed” cake and honestly no amount of money in the world could be put on this masterpiece:

Keep reading

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event i witnessed today

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3500 years ago a bunch of people decided to build a tower to the sky and now I have to worry about keeping up my Duolingo streak