shinystarfishpenguin

[shinystarfishpenguin]

a tumblr account should enable you to see everything on other social media sites without making an account there. like a student visa.

[shinystarfishpenguin]

Person who can have kids: "haha yeah I fucking hate kids I wish I was infertile like you" Me thinking of ways of killing myself never conceived before in the minds of humans: "haha yeah"

[shinystarfishpenguin]

why wouldnt you increase municipal taxes on rich people. itll make it more prestigious if its more expensive. rich people love wasting money in exchange for intangible prestige

[shinystarfishpenguin]

Great on top of everything else now we gotta deal with The Giant Sphere

[shinystarfishpenguin]

My uncle just sent this to me

He understands my level of humor

[shinystarfishpenguin]

met a woman today whose original real actual given-at-birth first name is "Vendetta." ma'am are you aware you are a videogame protagonist and/or a character in a skullduggery pleasant novel. real quick sorry to bother you miss but who exactly were your parents expecting you to avenge in their name

[shinystarfishpenguin]

you're cute and it's tuesday

[shinystarfishpenguin]

nsfw sideblogs r so funny. my friend we can't talk here it isn't safe.. we have to go to sex world together

[shinystarfishpenguin]

absolutely amazing things happening right now. I had to triple check that these were real

[shinystarfishpenguin]

[shinystarfishpenguin]

[shinystarfishpenguin]

i saw a girl on tiktok who put her salt lamp in the dishwasher and didn’t realize it would dissolve, and it’s been on my mind for like 3 days

[shinystarfishpenguin]

I shamelessly stole this from Instagram for you

how many years has it been since this was funny

[shinystarfishpenguin]

Jonathan on the 12th: This thing isn't human, I just watched him scale the bloody walls like a fucking lizard, what sort of beast am I forced to be in contact with????

Jonathan on the 15th: Saw the old bastard scaling the fucking wall again and honestly fuck this shit I am so over it hope he falls actually.

[shinystarfishpenguin]

you have to be able to defend people who are receiving unjust treatment even if they annoy you even if you personally find them extremely annoying you still have to be able to stand up and say "well thats fucked up"