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[shipskicksandgiggles]

I worked retail for a long time and people really do treat you like shit sometimes. But between selling sex toys, mattresses, and jewelry I can say definitively I got treated worst selling mattresses.

All three of my jobs were in sales but selling sex toys we were allowed to put people in their place, and in jewelry people didn’t want to misbehave in a fancy setting. But people at the mattress store had no problem yelling at me, hitting on me, or insulting me to my face.

For a while I was managing my own store for the company. I ran a small location and had struggling employees placed with me for rehabilitation. If their numbers improved they could go back to bigger stores. If not, they got fired.

So this meant I was the manager of problem employees. At one point both of my people had a foot out the door. The company was going downhill and changed computer systems and they were fed up. Consequently, they made a ton of mistakes, because they just didn’t care about the job or learning the new systems.

I strolled into work on what was essentially my Monday to a shit show. Deliveries scheduled without product, wrong things on orders, poor expectations of the process, you name it. I spent the entire morning getting yelled at for mistakes that weren’t mine.

The final straw came when a man called furious that his moms bed for her nursing home had a delivery window he couldn’t accommodate. This wasn’t a huge disaster since we still had time to deliver it before she moved. I ran him through the options and he just kept screaming at me. Not for a solution but because I was there and he was frustrated.

My heart filled with malice and a cold fury. A calculating part of my brain had a realization in that moment that I could stay a punching bag or I could strike back.

I quavered my voice delicately, taking in a shaky, warbling breath like I was trying not to cry. “Sir,” I quivered through fake tears, “I don’t know what you want from me! I told you what I can do, I didn’t make this mistake I’m just trying to fix it!” My voice broke pitifully on the last syllables, sounding in all ways like a sweet innocent person being yelled at who’s just trying her best, really!

It was like I’d doused him with cold water. My emotional act was the realization that he was screaming at someone who was just doing their damn job, and he was being an asshole. He hastily made an excuse and hung up.

I had a third employee covering with me from another store that day who heard everything. When I hung up, I looked over to see them watching me with an awed expression. “Did… did you just pretend to cry?”

“I absolutely fucking did,” I said with feeling, “and I’d do it a thousand more times. If that’s what it takes for someone to realize they’re behaving like a fucking prick, they deserve it.” The employee looked at me like I was their hero.

The man called back, apologizing profusely, having magically arranged his schedule to accommodate delivery. He came in later that week with an apology Starbucks gift card. I was gracious in my acceptance.

I pulled it a few more times before leaving the company. I felt no shame in the ruse. If someone behaves so poorly that it’s plausible their behavior would drive someone to tears they deserve to feel absolutely wretched about it.

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i love it when an artistic movement is a rejection or critique of a previous one #the hater mindset

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do you want to see the best trail cam photo ever

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Nervously, I pull from the tarot deck. It’s the Nine of Clocks. My fate is revealed to me: It’s my bedtime, and I gotta go to sleeps

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Heartbreaking: This person is making great points but they're being a huge fucking asshole about it so you can't reblog any of it

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Clint you've got to be fucking kidding me

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Read this in “stats & curiosities from HBR”

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yes girl I think it’s incredibly sexy how indecisive you are about every single decision in your life. I also love how you haven’t let anything go since you were 12. can we make out now

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I got one comment about a sequel to this, and oh my god am I tempted

2, 12, 35 with our fave chaotic duo: Steve and Robin

hehehe did somebody say comp het steve harrington? because I heard comp het steve harrington

(also,,, I wrote and edited this all today lmao. checked my inbox and realized this was LATE I am so sorry, I hope you like this <3)

prompts (from this list): “I don’t need to hear about any of your sex lives. I’m talking to you specifically.” “Everyone gets excited about boobs!” “I honestly don’t think that’s true.” and “Are we going to talk about what happened back there?” “No, why, what happened?”

read Known Unknown here on ao3

Meeting Robin and her getting looped into the rest of their lives was easily the best thing that had ever happened to Steve Harrington, and he would stand by that for the rest of time. She’d even started coming to the party’s bi-weekly movie nights where they only kind of watched movies. The rest of the time was mostly spent with Steve trying to corral everyone into one area before he would eventually give up and just make sure everyone had a buddy. 

Today though, this wasn’t the case. This particular movie night was just the kids, Steve, Robin, and Eddie since Nancy was touring schools in Illinois for the next couple of days, and Jonathan and Argyle had to work. 

Everyone was camped out in the living room, and there was a movie on the TV. A tape had finally come in at the video store that the group was itching to watch, so Steve brought it home for them. 

Predictably, the girls sans Robin were giggling over the hot guy staring in it, and the boys were rolling their eyes at every romantic moment. It was a perfectly ordinary night, and since nothing seemed to be going horribly amiss, Steve collected their empty popcorn bowls and headed into the kitchen. He could still see the group over the breakfast bar, so it wasn’t like he was missing anything either. 

Except then he looked away for a few seconds and suddenly there was a wolf whistle out of Dustin, so he whipped around to see what had happened on the screen. 

The reason for the whistling that was now coming from more than one of them was because there was a shirtless woman on the screen. Will and Max had covered El’s eyes while the rest of the boys had their fun, and Robin was laughing at it all. 

Steve just rolled his eyes. “Cut it out, nerds, or else I’m never bringing home anything other than cartoons for the rest of your lives, got it?”

“Come on, Steve, don’t be like that,” Dustin whined. 

“You honestly can’t blame him, Steve, I mean honestly, look at her,” Eddie chimed in. 

“See, now Dustin I can see this behavior from, but Eddie, I’m disappointed in you. 

Robin cackled. “But Steve,” she turned to face him better, “Everyone gets excited about boobs!”

“I honestly don’t think that’s true.”

She gave him a weird look, and Steve went back to lecturing the boys on their behavior. “I mean it, I’m okay with only watching Disney movies for the rest of my life.”

“Alright, alright, fine, we’ll stop, geez,” Dustin rolled his eyes, and thankfully the scene moved on and the actors were fully clothed again. Steve settled back into his chair a few minutes later, and let the moment slip from his mind while he enjoyed the rest of the movie. 

~~~

They’d decided on having a sleepover that night, so Max and El claimed the guest room while Eddie and the boys took up all the furniture in the living room. Robin, as was customary, was sitting on Steve’s bed, waiting for him to finish brushing his teeth so she could use him like a space heater while she slept. 

“Are we going to talk about what happened back there?” she asked as he walked back into the room. 

“No, why, what happened?”

“The ‘not everyone gets excited about boobs’ comment. What’s up with that? I figured that you, of all people, would love boobs.”

Steve shook his head. “They’re boobs, I just don’t see what the big deal is.”

Robin’s eyebrows were slowly inching towards her hairline. “You’ve had sex with women before, yes?”

“Yeah.”

“And you just… don’t care about boobs?”

“Aren’t they just sacks of fat on your chest?”

“I mean kind of, but also, they’re really attractive.”

He turned to her with his hands on his hips. “What are you talking about?”

“Steve, do you not think that boobs are hot?”

“I mean, not really, no.”

“Steven Michael Harrington, you are absolutely fucking with me right now.”

“Why would I be fucking with you? I don’t think that boobs are hot. I would rather have sex with someone who doesn’t have boobs if I’m being honest.”

“Holy shit. Next thing you’re going to tell me is that you’d prefer to have a dick up your ass, right?”

“So what if I want a dick up my ass?” Steve retorted. 

Robin blinked and sat back in stunned silence. She tried forming words a few times before landing on a response. 

“Do you want a dick up your ass?” she asked slowly. 

Now it was Steve’s turn to go quiet. “Maybe,” he muttered. 

She nodded. “Okay. That wasn’t the answer I was expecting. Can you walk me through this, please and thank you?”

“Robin, what does that even mean?”

“Alright, alright, how about this: I will rephrase a question I asked earlier. Am I correct in saying that you’ve had sex with women before?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, now, with absolutely no details because I do not want to know, what was that like?”

Steve shrugged. “It was kind of boring, honestly. Like, the girls always seemed more into it than I was and they never really did much for me. I’d pretend like I was into it just so they wouldn’t think I wasn’t into them, but it was all kind of just blah, you know?”

“No, Steve, I don’t know because I want to have sex with girls. Next question: since you think sex with girls is boring, can you imagine, again, with absolutely no details, what might actually work for you?”

“I don’t know, Robin, I-”

“Would you having a dick up your ass bring you pleasure?”

“Can we please stop saying it like that?” he returned exasperatedly. 

“Fine. Do you think having sex with a man would bring you pleasure?” 

He rolled his head back. “If I said yes, would you think any less of me?”

Robin reached out and grabbed his hand. “Steve, you’re talking to the only lesbian in this part of Indiana. If you’re gay, I’m here for you.”

“Okay.”

“So?”

“So…” Steve took a deep breath. “I think I’m gay.”

Robin pulled him into a hug. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Is this a recent revelation, or have we known this for a while?”

“Well let me tell you something, Robs, it was kind of a shock to hear that people actually get excited about boobs.”

“Holy shit, you mean you just now realized?”

“I mean, it’s always kind of been a thing, I just don’t think I knew what that thing was, exactly.”

“That’s hilarious, I’m so sorry. How are you feeling?”

“Kind of in shock, but I’m okay.”

“Good. So is there some in particular that you, uh…”

“Want his dick up my ass?”

Robin giggled. “Yeah.”

“Maybe. I don’t think he’s into that sort of thing though.”

“Is it Eddie?”

“What the hell? How did you do that?”

“I’m inside your head, dingus, you can’t hide anything from me for long.”

“You just learned that I’m gay.”

“I thought you were bi, I was on the right track. Anywhom, back to Eddie.”

“He likes women, Robs, I’ll get over it.”

Robin just smiled. “Oh yeah?”

“Whatever you’re about to do, don’t.” 

“Too late,” she sang. She jumped off the bed and ran out into the hall before Steve could stop her. A moment later she returned with Eddie. 

Steve glared at her. 

“What am I doing here?” Eddie asked. “Shouldn’t someone be keeping an eye on the pre-teens in the living room?”

“Don’t worry about that, Eddie, they won’t be alone for long. See, Steve and I are having a fascinating discussion and I’d like to get your thoughts.”

“Yeah, alright. Shoot.”

“See, I think that boobs would be one of the best parts of sex, but Steve disagrees. If you had to pick what the best part of sex is from a physical standpoint, what would you pick?”

Eddie nodded along with her before looking up at the ceiling and exhaling dramatically. “What an interesting question, Birdie. If we’re talking about sex with a woman, I don’t think that boobs are the most interesting part of it at all. Thighs on the other hand are fantastic. Grab them, push them apart, suffocate between them, what have you, they’re the best. I’d say the same about sex with men.”

“Sex with men?” Steve heard his voice crack from somewhere outside his own body. 

He looked him up and down. “Yeah, Steve, sex with men. Honestly, that’s even better if you ask me. Men’s thighs are fantastic, and if you want to get into it, hair is also super important. Really gives you something to grab onto if you’re into that sort of thing.”

“Robin?” Steve addressed her without breaking eye contact with Eddie. 

“I’ll keep an eye on the kiddos. Have fun you two! Just remember, I don’t need to hear about any of your sex lives. I’m talking to you specifically, Steve. I love you, but you’re my brother and I don’t need to know.”

The door shut softly behind her, and Eddie smirked. “Is there something I should know, sweetheart?”

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has anybody seen my pet piece of paper. his name is walter he is very fragile but very adventurous. i should never have left the window open in my tenth story apartment

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just saw a single piece of paper drift past 50 feet in the air over buildings like a beautiful white bird

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hyperfixations are so embarrassing like nooo don’t look I have a crush. on this tv show