shipventing

[shipventing]

Adora: Holy shit the Horde’s evil! They’re killing innocent people!

Catra: Lol no shit.

Adora: I can’t be a part of a group that kills people for no reason. Come with me to fight them!

Catra, multiple times: Lol no, fuck off.

Adora: Well… Guess I’ll go then.

Catra: You’re abandoning me and we’re supposed to be friends!

Tumblr people somehow: Adora is clearly neglectful towards Catra and abandoned her.

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If glimmer was skinny and catra was fat things would be VERY different in the she ra fanbase

[shipventing]

Some Valid Reasons Why One May Not Support CatraDora

Based on various posts I’ve personally seen. 

1) They feel like the ship is abusive, unhealthy, etc. (even after Catra’s redemption). 2) They feel the ship was rushed and/or out of place, and/or had no real positive developments prior to season 5.  3) They feel it may not have been the best form of LGBT representation, since Catra was a “villain” (and downright evil in multiple scenes), and tried to hurt the person she was supposedly in love with for most of the series.  4) They feel the fandom is too forgiving of Catra since CatraDora is an LGBT couple. They feel if Catra was a male character, the fandom wouldn’t be as accepting of his (her) actions - and disgusted that the “abused/misunderstood” dude gets the girl in the end for becoming good. They don’t like seeing people more forgiving of bad actions when it’s an LGBT couple, as opposed to a straight couple. 5) They feel there were other ships that had healthier dynamics and were developed better (GlimmaDora).  6) They don’t feel comfortable with the fact that Adora and Catra grew up together in the same “home” with the same “parental figure” (even though that said parental figure was abusive). They saw Adora and Catra more as “sisters” rather than a romantic couple - and feel disturbed now that they’re romantically with each other. (Plus, there was a official book that stated they saw each other as sisters - and apparently there were interviews with some crew members pre-season 5 that said they saw each other as sisters too. Correct me if I’m wrong.)

Please be respectful of people’s dislike towards CatraDora.

Also, feel free to add onto the post.

[shipventing]

“Catra was an abuse victim, went through so much, and tried to redeem herself. What more do antis want????”

To not be with Adora.

Why can’t some people understand that there’s too much emotional baggage for their relationship to work?

If ANYONE had the type of dynamic that Adora and Catra had, there’s no way they would ever 100% be able to move on from their past and have a healthy relationship together.

This is why their ship is unrelatable to some people (like myself).

That’s great that Catra tried to change and be a better person, but that still doesn’t erase all the bad stuff she’s done.

Shippers think that Catra deserves to be happy after all she’s went through, but never considered...

Why does her happy ending HAVE to be romantically ending up with Adora?

Why can’t she have a happy ending with someone who she hasn’t had a rocky past with, OR learn to find self-love and “the power of friendship” before ending up romantically with anyone?

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I have only seen clips of the show on youtube and up until the finale, I read EVERYTHING about catra and adora as them to be just sisters. Then the finale happened. It's a shame because I feel like there was a "sisters torn apart and one became toxic" narrative that I was intrigued with but nah. I've never seen the show and I'm disappointed. F in the chat for y'all.😔

Dear @little-bullheaded-shit,

Thank you for sharing your perspective! I really appreciate it! And yeah, the ending to this series was beyond disappointing. S5 was truly a mess. 

In addition, I know I stated earlier that I wouldn’t revisit the topic of whether Catra and Adora are or are not siblings because the topic makes me extremely uncomfortable. And I’m really sorry but this will definitely be my last post on the topic, so I won’t be replying to any more messages regarding this topic. 

Also, I’ve already went into depth about this topic here. If you haven’t read the post before, please read the post before you continue reading. It just illustrates how I’ve formed my opinion on the topic. 

And again, if you disagree with me that is perfectly understandable. This topic has been extremely debated in this community and I really do respect everyone’s opinion on this topic. 

But for me, another reason I see Adora and Catra as siblings is because Adora and Catra remind me a lot of Gamora and Nebula from Guardians of the Galaxy. 

In this case, Gamora is Adora,  Nebula is Catra, and Thanos is Shadow Weaver:

Adora leaving the Horde because of her morals. 

Gamora leaving Thanos because of her morals. 

Catra acknowledging how Shadow Weaver had an effect on who she became. 

Nebula acknowledging how Thanos had an effect on who she became.

Shadow Weaver abusing/torturing Adora and using Adora. 

...

...

Thanos abusing/torturing Gamora and using Gamora.

Competition between Adora and Catra.

Competition between Gamora and Nebula.

Catra wanting to win. 

Nebula wanting to win. 

Adora and Catra are close.

Gamora and Nebula are close.

Adora and Catra growing up together since they were children.

Gamora and Nebula growing up together since they were children.

Catra blaming Adora for Shadow Weaver’s abuse/torture. 

Nebula blaming Gamora for Thanos’ abuse/torture. 

Adora is Shadow Weaver’s favorite child. 

...

Gamora is Thanos’ favorite child. 

Shadow Weaver is a mom.

Thanos is a dad. 

And finally, Gamora and Nebula are confirmed to be sisters:

...

Moreover, Catra and Adora remind me of Nebula and Gamora. And the fact that Gamora and Nebula are confirmed to be sisters further adds on to the reason why I see Catra and Adora as sisters. 

And so I do think that Catradora is incest. 

That’s my personal opinion. I just to state again that if you disagree, that’s perfectly understandable and I completely respect your opinion. 

My conclusion is the same as my other post’s conclusion. This show is made for kids, and the fact that this topic has been heavily debated in this community indicates that the writing of the show is ultimately poor.

Thank you very much for sharing. ✨

[shipventing]

Catra abused Adora.

I want to start off by explaining my own experience with watching She-Ra for the first time. I started to watch the show and continued to watch it for various reasons. But I want to make it clear that I wasn’t watching the show to see who ended up with who. I enjoyed the show mostly because it had such wonderful messages surrounding healthy families, friendships, and relationships. And so, one of the main themes of the show ended up being: abuse. 

The show demonstrated that abuse can take a variety of forms. The show demonstrated that people can suffer from abuse in different ways. The show presented that people can break the cycle of abuse and people can continue the cycle of abuse. The show demonstrated that in some cases people can try and help an abusive person, but the abusive person may abuse the person trying to help. The show also highlighted that people are allowed to leave abusive relationships.

Before we begin, I want to note that I won’t be answering the question “Did Catra’s own experiences of abuse influence her actions?” Because the answer to this question is obviously Yes. And I sympathize with Catra and the fact that she was abused while she was growing up. In addition, there’s a lot of complexity and depth surrounding the abuse Catra received. But Catra also continued the cycle of abuse. And in real life, people who have been abused can also end up abusing other people. 

Now, since we’ll be focusing on Catradora in this commentary, we must look strictly at the interactions between Catra and Adora. The reason behind this is we are evaluating only whether the relationship between Catra and Adora is healthy. In addition, if your friend told you they were being abused, would you ask the question, “I understand, but what about your abuser? Was your abuser abused?”. No, I don’t think you would. You’d ask your friend, “Is there any way I can help?” And so, in this case, Adora is your friend and Catra is the abuser.

Thus, the main question remains: Did Catra abuse Adora? And the answer is Yes.

(Please note that the underlined statements are hyperlinked to websites providing information on abuse.)

Signs of Emotional Abuse

Catra has unrealistic expectations of Adora:

Catra makes unreasonable demands of Adora.

Catra expects Adora to put everything aside and meet her needs.

Catra is constantly dissatisfied no matter how much Adora gives.

Catra invalidates Adora:

Catra undermines, dismisses, and distorts Adora’s perceptions of reality.

Catra accuses Adora of being “crazy”.

Catra refuses to acknowledge or accept Adora’s opinions or ideas as valid.

Catra dismisses Adora’s requests, wants, and needs as ridiculous or unmerited.

Catra suggests that Adora’s perceptions are wrong or that Adora cannot be trusted by saying things like “you’re not making sense”.

Catra uses emotional blackmail:

Catra manipulates and controls Adora by making Adora feel guilty.

Catra uses Adora’s fears, values, compassion, or other hot buttons to control Adora or the situation.

Catra exaggerates Adora’s flaws or points Adora’s flaws out in order to deflect attention or to avoid taking responsibility for her poor choices or mistakes.

Catra denies that an event took place/lies about it.

Catra acts superior:

Catra treats Adora like Catra’s inferior.

Catra blames Adora for her mistakes.

Catra doubts everything Adora says and attempts to prove Adora wrong.

Catra talks down to Adora.

Catra uses sarcasm when interacting with Adora.

Catra acts like she’s always right, knows what’s best, and is smarter than Adora.

Catra controls and isolates Adora:

Catra treats Adora like a possession or property.

Signs of Physical Abuse

Catra kidnaps Adora.

Catra scratches Adora.

Catra shoves Adora.

Catra kicks Adora.

Catra slaps Adora.

Catra uses weapons on Adora.

Catra physically restrains Adora.

Catra attempts to murder Adora multiple times.

Adora suffered from Catra’s abuse and Adora displayed the effects of this abuse:

Short Term Effects

confusion

fear

hopelessness

shame

Long-term effects

guilt

anxiety

Adora also tried tactics that are not effective ways of dealing with abuse:

Adora arguing with Catra.

Adora trying to understand or make excuses for Catra.

Adora attempting to appease Catra.

Adora also figures out how to properly deal with Catra’s abuse:

Adora makes herself a priority.

Adora establishes boundaries.

Adora stops blaming herself.

Adora realizes she can’t fix Catra.

Adora avoids engaging with Catra.

Adora builds a support network.

Adora deserves to be in a healthy relationship, which consists of:

Trust

Adora should be confident her partner won’t do anything to hurt her or ruin the relationship.

In a healthy relationship, trust comes easily and Adora shouldn’t have to question her partner’s intentions or whether her partner has her back.

Honesty

Adora should be able to be truthful and candid without fearing how her partner will respond. 

Adora’s partner may not like what Adora has to say, but should respond to disappointing news in a considerate way.

Respect

Adora’s partner should value Adora’s beliefs and opinions.

Adora’s partner should love Adora for who she is.

Adora should feel comfortable setting boundaries and should feel confident that her partner will respect those boundaries. 

Adora’s partner should cheer for Adora when Adora achieves something. 

Adora’s partner should support Adora’s hard work and dreams, and appreciate Adora.

Equality

Adora’s relationship should feel balanced.

Both Adora and her partner should put the same effort into the success of the relationship. 

Neither Adora’s nor her partner’s opinions should dominate. Instead, they both should hear each other out and make compromises when they don’t want the same thing. 

Adora should feel like her needs, wishes and interests are just as important as her partner’s. 

Kindness

Adora’s partner should be caring and empathetic to Adora, and should provide comfort and support.

In a healthy relationship, Adora’s partner will do things that they know will make Adora happy. 

Kindness should be a two-way street in Adora’s relationship: it’s given and returned. 

Adora’s partner should show compassion for Adora and the things Adora cares about.

Taking Responsibility

Adora’s partner should own up to their actions and words. 

Adora’s partner should not place blame and should be able to admit when they make a mistake. 

Adora’s partner should genuinely apologize when they’ve done something wrong and continually try to make positive changes to better the relationship. 

Adora’s partner should be able take ownership for the impact of their words or behaviour had, even if it wasn’t their intention.

Healthy Conflict

Adora and her partner should be able to openly and respectfully discuss issues and confront disagreements non-judgmentally. 

Adora’s partner should not belittle or yell during an argument.

Adora’s relationship should have healthy conflict by recognizing the root issue and addressing it respectfully before it escalates into something bigger. 

Fun

Adora should enjoy spending time with her partner.

Adora and her partner should bring out the best in each other.  

A healthy relationship should feel easy and make Adora happy. 

Adora should be able to let loose, laugh, and be themselves.

Adora’s relationship should not bring Adora’s mood down but should cheer Adora up. 

Adora’s relationship doesn’t have to be fun 100% of the time, but the good times should definitely outweigh the bad.

In conclusion:

Whatever Catra says, Catra’s violence towards Adora is unacceptable. 

Catra’s violent behavior is always Catra’s responsibility, not Adora’s.

Catra’s abuse is not okay or justifiable.

There are so many scenes throughout the series where Catra emotionally and physically abused Adora, and these scenes are captured on this blog. 

I just want to add that even when Catra emotionally and physically abused Adora, Adora continuously tried to reach out and help Catra. Adora gave Catra so many chances for her to apologize and rectify her mistakes. But Catra didn’t. Not only that, when Adora left, Catra continued to abuse people. Catra emotionally abused Scorpia. Then, when Scorpia left, Catra began abusing Lonnie. Catra’s abuse didn’t stop when Adora left, Catra just found a new victim.

In addition, there were so many significant moments of growth for Adora. Adora found people who supported her and did not abuse her. Adora began to heal from Catra’s abuse. Adora no longer made excuses for Catra. Adora realized that she is not responsible for Catra’s atrocious actions. 

Adora was strong and brave for moving forward in her life without her abuser. 

Moreover, Adora is a victim of abuse. Catra abused Adora emotionally and physically. Catra repeatedly admits to manipulating Adora in order to meet her own selfish goals. Catra did not show any remorse for her abuse against Adora throughout seasons 1 to 4. Catra continuously blamed Adora for her own atrocious actions. And finally, Catra attempted to murder Adora on several occasions. 

And here’s the most important thing. I don’t care who Adora would have ended up with. I just care about the fact that Adora ended up with Catra. What I mean is: I would rather have Adora end up without a partner, than end up with Catra.

Irrespective of whether you agree or disagree with my points on Catradora, these will be final points:

Abuse can happen anywhere at any time.

Abuse can happen in any relationship, including lesbian relationships.

Abuse is unacceptable.

Make sure YOU can recognize signs of emotional and physical abuse. 

Make sure YOU know that it’s okay to leave an abusive relationship.

Make sure YOU can trust and depend on your PARTNER/FRIEND. 

Make sure YOUR PARTNER/FRIEND knows they can trust and depend on YOU. 

Make sure YOU are being treated with kindness and support in your relationships. 

Make sure YOU are treating YOUR PARTNER/FRIEND with kindness and support. 

Make sure YOU are in healthy relationships and friendships.

In conclusion, EVERYONE deserves to be treated with love and respect.

Thank you.

[shipventing]

what are some of your least favorite reasons ppl say enemies to lovers is good?

There’s nothing wrong with enemies to lovers done right; the problem is people make it way too personal.

IE: it should be pairing up people who fought on opposite sides of a war, but never had a personal vendetta against each other, instead of just shipping an abuser with their victim. 9 times out of 10 enemies to lovers ends up being someone falling in love with a person who assaults them, verbally or emotionally abuses them, and hurts them not because of circumstance, but because they want to make them hurt, due to perceived personal wrongs. As an abuse survivor, I shouldn’t have to explain why that makes me viscerally upset, to the point of certain pairings being legitimately triggering.

As for specific reasons people have for shipping them, the majority boil down to “its spicy” or “flavorful”. Which. I’m sorry. But my trauma isn’t sexy or for your fucking consumption. There is nothing desirable about being an abusive relationship, and the idea of someone ending up with their abuser is an all-too common horror story, not a romantic happy ending. I dont care if it’s a same gender relationship, or if “they really loved each other deep down!” Abusers often DO genuinely love their victims, contrary to popular belief, and express it in very fucked up ways - something I struggled with for a while. And victims often have complicated relationships with their abusers, many still experiencing love for the people who so badly hurt them. That doesn’t mean any of that shit can be excused or justified.

Basically - if you find healthy relationships boring, maybe examine why you think that? Maybe examine why you find toxic and abusive relationships sexy or desirable? Maybe think about the fact that you’re contributing to the normalization of abuse, and that many at-risk minors and adults view your content? That abusers themselves will feel validated by your content? Stop glorifying abuse. It’s not that hard.

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a very good question! why is Adora like this?

could it be

or perhaps

or maybe

and this definitely wouldn't have helped

[shipventing]

I once described C@tradora’s relationship to a C@traders stan, but I replaced C@tra with a man. They said it was super abusive and they can’t believe people ship it. I then revealed it was C@tradora and they blue screened. The hypocrisy is real.

[shipventing]

a very good question! why is Adora like this?

could it be

or perhaps

or maybe

and this definitely wouldn't have helped

[shipventing]

Youtube recommended me some "Adora is gay for Catra" video and it is full of Adora making zoomed " >:|" faces around Catra or Adora just... standing near Catra and doing nothing, or even scenes of Adora being visibly upset with Catra, (upset because Catra had kidnapped her friends or because Catra was about to let Adora die or smth like this, you know the scenes), and the whole point is that you have to look at these with a certain mindset and interpret it in a very certain way that literally has to be written in the video otherwise you just won't get that it is supposed to be "gay" and this is funny but also kind of pathetic

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So you’re trying to tell me Noelle Stevenson claimed that in certain episodes Catra somehow knew Adora wouldn’t die therefore she proceeded to threaten her life. Like she cut off the vines Adora was holding to in The Promise because she knew the cliff was fake and Adora wouldn’t die. Seriously fuck this show and fuck this ship and fuck this stupid excuse to make it look right.

[shipventing]

Is there anyone else that found s5 low key offensive?

Maybe it’s just me, but they portray an abuse victim slowly and finally standing up for herself and holding people accountable...only for her to go back on all her development and start a relationship with one of her abusers.

Idk it just made feel like trash when I’ve had a catra in the past. Is this what people see?

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Absolutely love it when c//a stans appear on my posts like “um, Catra’s with Adora” or “catradora canon” and then tell me that I obviously didn’t understand season 5. The raw entitlement. Mind blowing. Indulge me; what gave you the impression that I give two shits about canon?

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The biggest reason I’ll never like catradora is that the ship being canon came at the cost of both Catra and Adora’s character development.

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Some Fans: *still disappointed in the bad writing of season 5, the way Catradora was developed/written etc.*

CA Stans: YOUR JUST MAD BECAUSE CATRADORA IS CANON, BUT GLIMMADORA WASN’T!!! Me:

[shipventing]

Remember when mx noelle stevenson said they like reylo? because watching reylo and catradora as the top tumblr ships... the whiteness

what is catradora if not reylo for lesbians