shit-gen-says
Dedicated to the wonderful Gen
Who says a lot of things, but always says them just slightly wrong.
Love you Gen 馃槝
Now doubles as my own personal diary lmao
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on loving your siblings
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Peter: I'm gonna put myself in such a situation.
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Who tf orders coffee "on the rocks"?
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Job job job job job job job
#we remain in neutral territory#1/3/21#coming back here months later cuz I just noticed I dated this with 21 even though it was 22 and I think that's funny#1/3/22#4/26/22
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New member of the family again!!
Peter! Born ???
11/07/21
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Narrator voice: she was not fine tomorrow
This, too, shall pass.
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This, too, shall pass.
#just gonna reblog this everytime I need to remind myself#anyway today it's about my scary thoughts#my these-are-actual-depressed-people thoughts as oppsed to my I'm-destroyed-by-grief thoughts#me: I really wanna die rn#also me: bitch stfu and go to sleep. you'll be fine tomorrow#10/31/21
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Good news. I was just being dramatic.
10/31/21
Me: *crying as I struggle to come to terms with my new chronic upper back/lower neck pain*
Also me: ew get a hold of yourself, you're pathetic, crying about such a dumb thing. plenty of people have it way worse than you
Also also me: no, it's okay. this is new to you. there's obviously going to be an adjustment period. take the time you need and let out your frustrations. you're allowed to have feelings about things that are happening to you
9/25/21
#okay no I wasn't being dramatic at the time#but thank jeebus my pain has gotten way more tolerable#still very present#but I haven't needed to take pain meds and I've been able to walk home without resting on a bench so I'll take the win#I'm getting used to it 馃憤
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I mourn the person I used to be, if I'm being honest.
#I've been thinking a lot about my current coworkers and like#the only version of me they know is the current one#they don't know anything about the person I used to be#they don't know that I used to be happy once#I just... I've been comparing it to when I started working at parking and it's just so different#I used to love talking to everyone but now I'm like mildly responsive at best#I don't care about anything anymore so I forget that you're supposed to take interest in other people. ask how their day's going#if they've been up to anything#but I genuinely forget to talk to them#and it makes me sad that that's the version of me they know#someone who doesn't ask about others. who doesn't care about themselves. who never has anything to talk about cuz there's nothing to say#that's not who I want to be known as#sometimes I sit and wonder what their impressions of me are and I can't imagine it's anything but underwhelming#I miss the old me#I wish they'd gotten to know her. she was happy. and much cooler than me.#oops this was in my drafts for like a week lmao#idk what date it was but today is 10/31/21 technically#journal entry
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Shitty day today.
10/30/21
#can't stop thinking about how much I want to die#I can usually ignore it but it's really smacking me around today#just thinking about how crazy it is that like. I'm not happy at all. nothing about my life is the way I want it to be#yet I'm expected to just keep on living regardless#like dude. if you're watching a movie or show and you don't like it. then you stop watching it#or if you're playing a video game and you get bored. you stop playing.#reading a book and it's not interesting enough. you put it down.#well I don't wanna be alive anymore. I wanna stop playing this game. is that really so tragic? to not want to be alive?#I think it's more tragic to want to die but be forced to live#I wanna put this book doooown#FUCK#here's hoping I get hit by a car tomorrow#but like. in a life-ending way. I don't want some lame minor injuries#mmmmm#journal entry
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12670 and 15062 are the same number, no I will not explain.
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Okay we're back to neutral territory.
Job job job job job job job
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Literally anyone: Hey, how are you?
Me:
The best answer I can give you is that I lost my 500+ day streak on Duolingo 4 days ago and I only just now realized it. Took me FOUR DAYS. That's where my mental health is at rn.
The amount of streak freezes I use in a month is a really good representation of my mental health at that time.
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So here's how October's going.
The amount of streak freezes I use in a month is a really good representation of my mental health at that time.
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Can't believe I forgot to post about chi chi milk guy.
10/23/21 (but it was sometime last week)
#long story short#a customer was reading orders off his phone and he got to a part where he said 'but can you make it with chi chi milk?' and kept reading#and I was like wait wait make it with what? (cuz I genuinely was like 'oh I definitely misheard whatever he just asked for')#and he backtracks and says 'uhhh it says make it with chi chi milk... I don't know what milk....' and he trails off#and Marlene my supervisor starts fkn cackling#and the guy goes 'aw man!!! aw shit dude. he did me dirty!!!' and he starts laughing and I start laughing#cuz it turns out this guy's friend pranked him lmao#but seriously Marlene could not stop laughing#that bitch was on the ground#love her#(also the funny thing is Marlene was literally already on the ground cuz she was doing stuff with the vault.#so to the guy it must've just seemed like random disembodied laughter at first lmao)#my starbucks tales
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Hahaha remember when I was excited about having a job?
Job job job job job job job
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