shitpostking - Tumblr blog

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the year is 13 AT (after twilight)

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15 Ways to Subtly Tell Your Religious Grandma that Cock is Your Favorite Taste

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o no what is this

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Me at 2 AM: I’m bored

My brain: ur gonna masturbate aren’t ya?

Me:

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My landlord came to fix an issue to day with the apartment. He looks around the living room at the decor and the newly painted walls.

In a heavy Russian accent: “Your wife have very good sense of style.”

Me: “Actually, I live here alone.”

Landlord: “Ah, homosexual. Figured. I live in the apartment under you.”

Me: 😳

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White Girl: hi

Me: your so fucking lucky it’s Wednesday so ima let this slide but never do this shit again you hear me

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