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I so desperately want to know Tilla's backstory and how the FUCK she wanted to be with someone like Cash.
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a stolitz post? in the year of our lord??
warning this is genuinely a long ass post
okay so sometime last month i was watching 3bskyen’s JLMW reaction (really tells you how long i’ve actually been cooking this post), and he was talking about color theory or something but what caught my attention was that he was paused on THIS frame:
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he said something about the red/blue contrast throughout the music video; red being symbolic of blitz (the moon) and blue being symbolic of stolas (the ocean (?)) and it got me thinking, i wonder what the gold might symbolize? because this definitely isn’t the first time we’ve seen the color gold in reference to stolitz. first think back to truth seekers, there’s gold in quite a few places
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golden rails, golden feathers, golden shackles; this is why i say gold and not yellow. at first i thought it might be symbolic of the power imbalance, but that’d be too easy.
quite the selection of objects, isn’t it? rails imply safety but can also be restricting, the feathers seem harmless but then turn into shackles…possibly reminiscent of the nature the book deal and the role it actually played in blitz’s mind about his relationship with stolas.
but there’s one more thing i left out; the golden dust
...okay...don't laugh...
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first time i saw this scene in truth seekers i was immediately reminded of shrek ever after
AND I’M NOT COMPARING BLITZ TO RUMPELSTILTSKIN, i’m not trying to imply they stole from shrek ever after, THAT'D be a stretch. if anything blitz is better compared to shrek himself, but i'm not gonna write about that because i Don't Want To
but if i’m remembering correctly, that movie revolved around the theme of taking good things for granted, like your partner and your friends, which aligns pretty well with how blitz’s bad trip ends:
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“i believe your subconscious is trying to tell you that you simply cannot fathom proper intimacy, but also craves it as well. it’s rather unfortunate, sir, considering it’s often how you treat those who stand by you, such as myself. are you worried i may have enough of it one day, as well?”
"you cannot fathom proper intimacy."
blitz doesn’t know how to be close to other people–i don’t think he understands the relationship he has with any of the people in his life.
we still don’t truly know blitz’s full belief on love and we can only deduce it from his actions; he says monogamy is boring but then goes on to stalk his monogamous employees, on their anniversary no less, bringing along his own singular date...
he focuses on the sex in his relationships because that’s what he’s good at; he finds sex less complicated than romance... and then struggles to get his asmodean crystal to open a portal because he can’t get it off.
he has this recurring pattern where the title of “best friend” eventually turns into something else, often unrequited...
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“...my first ever friend!”
he didn't expect stolas' intimate attraction to him. stolas made the connection and it succeeded in making blitz feel guilty about stealing the book; that was why he stayed the night. blitz isn't used to not being rejected, even though he has a record of relationships that stopped once the Evil Four Letter Word came up. when he goes into a relationship, blitz has learned to not expect it to evolve past sex. love has negative connotations to him.
the worst part is we don’t know for certain WHY any of this is, or if it can even be chalked down to a singular thing
yeah, his mom died in a fire blitz caused, his best friend/crush lost his limbs in a fire blitz caused, he’s been treated as property since a young age; you can makes all kinds of correlations between these events and how they might have affected him later in life but as it stands now, we have no concrete answers other than the conclusion that blitz hates himself and has commitment issues.
but back onto that “taking things for granted” tidbit–subconsciously, he knows relationships can be good, but he feels he has to give up a lot of freedom in order to maintain one of his own.
also note how blitz is desperately crawling up the staircase, feathers kind of just hitting him haphazardly as he does so, as opposed to trip!moxxie who takes a few steps up after picking up a feather of his own volition. he knows moxxie’s relationship is more stable than any relationship he’s ever had, and yet:
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“stop fucking talking, all of you!”
cue the gold dust.
now, i'm not saying the book deal was a good thing. in fact, it kind of reinforced the power imbalance between blitz and stolas. i'm saying that from blitz's perspective, it was a safeguard. any feelings he might have had for stolas before could be dismissed, and he does exactly that one episode prior;
"it's a transactional fucking, you see..."
what i think he does take for granted is the advice “moxxie” gives to him, his attempts to reach out in a meaningful manner, kind of like stolas’ attempts to reach out. he ignores them both; he’s too deep into his own denial.
also, STAIRCASES IN THIS FUCKING SHOW.
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why do these fruity little men think so low of themselves and so highly of others??
i guess that's a bit of a rhetorical question, we all know the answer, but. wait. hold on a sec
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ohhhh.
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OOOHHHH, that's what this post was gonna be about!
i fucking GOT all of you, you thought i could go a post without talking about him you're WRONG and should feel SILLY.
so this was the OTHER thing i realised when watching 3bskyen's JLMW reaction: it follows the same theme as moxxie's bad trip!
JLMW vs. moxxie's bad trip
in helluva boss, we're used to seeing staircases being symbolic of a difference in power or importance, or a staircase to heaven, or a highly anticipated event going wrong *cough cough ozzie's cough full moon cough cough*
however, i think in the context of moxxie’s bad trip and JLMW, it can also be attributed to emotional distance. like stolas, moxxie's also looking for an emotional intimacy/understanding between him and blitz (he spends his whole trip actively trying to get on the same level as him for crying out loud).
this could also fit into blitz's bad trip; he's trying to get on the same level as stolas, but feels like even if he ever did, he'd still be inherently worthless. a "play thing".
he doesn’t know why anyone would want him for anything else, but he’s clearly not all about the hierarchy.
they need to get on the same level as each other emotionally; they need to break the power dynamic, and thats why the book deal had to go.
the difference in the symbolism is that while blitz has a straight and narrow path to trip!stolas, moxxie’s path to trip!blitz is this winding, unguarded staircase. he almost falls off.
now, compared to both of those, stolas’ path is a fucking stroll. albeit an emotionally damaging stroll, but it takes less physical strength.
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conclusion; stairs are symbolic of a difference in power, but gold is symbolic of something else.
and there is a power dynamic between moxxie and blitz. it's not like stolas and blitz's dynamic, it's an artificial imbalance; blitz is the boss, moxxie is the employee. and moxxie has his own inferiority complex, which i think plays a role in it too.
the imbalance between stolas and blitz is kind of, unfortunately, inherited. but it's not impossible to manage. of course, stolas doesn't care about where blitz is on the hierarchy, he doesn't care about the hierarchy period. but it's still there. blitz cares because it affects him.
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"you will be technically under his jurisdiction, but..."
this was problem one. stolas unintentionally demonstrating his power over blitz. "surprise, i technically made you someone else's property! please love me!" i'm exaggerating but this is definitely not the kind of thing you spring on your partner; they needed to talk about this beforehand, but according to stolas:
"no need for an arrangement, it can just be him and me!"
sigh. the many different ways this night could've gone
this is enough to trigger blitz's fight or flight. he wants to be with stolas, but he doesn't want the freedom to choose to be with him, which is problem two:
because blitz's belief of love is so inherently fucked up,
what are the chances that the very thing stolas gave to blitz to reaffirm his free will was just interpreted as another shackle?
blitz doesn't do commitment; stolas doesn't say "i love you", he doesn't need to. if you love something, you let it go, and if it comes back then it's yours--which happens in the very next episode.
blitz is the first person to mention love.
but if they want to love each other, they have to be equals, which was why the book deal had to go. they can't hold each other to these super high standards because that'd just set themselves up for disappointment. they have to be on the same level.
tldr: they're two sides of the same coin. literally!
color theory for dummies, a brief intermission
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fun fact: i actually didn’t learn color theory in an art class, but in a textiles class. we love american education. but anyways, i’m gonna ask you to draw your attention specifically to the complementary colors.
we start the chorus of JLMW in a purpley sort of place, which then shifts into gold, and then into the red/blue contrast.
except red and blue aren’t complete opposites, they’re both primary colors.
if they wanted complete opposites, they could’ve used red and green, or blue and orange, which are admittedly uglier combinations but the point is that stolitz aren’t complete opposites.
however, purple and yellow, or gold, ARE complete opposites; they’re complementary colors. if purple is implied to be symbolic of stolitz together, then could gold imply stolitz apart?
well…no. i think that’s the wrong angle. if they wanted that contrast, they could have left the gold out entirely, because red and blue separate is stolitz apart.
so how are we supposed to deduce what the gold is actually symbolic of? because no, i don’t actually think it’s an extended shrek 4 reference. that kind of exclusively pertains to blitz’s trip.
listening to the lyrics in the gold part;
This unspoken contract
A deed we forged for mutual gain
If that's all this was when you're not here
What is this rooted pain?
I don't care that you're of lower station
Or primed to sate my dark temptations
Why can't you understand? Let me explain
And I'm terrified as I cry
To make these feelings true
What's left for me and my broken heart
If I cannot have you?
a direct mention of the book deal…and another mention of the power imbalance…so i realize am starting to sound insane, but please hear me out.
i think the main theme of helluva boss IS learning to love in spite of damages and traumas and insecurities–not ignoring either of those, but learning to work around them or possibly heal those parts of yourself so you can love someone else effectively. learning from mistakes.
so what if the gold is symbolic of the simple desire of a mutual understanding? or a meaningful connection with someone else?
tying it all back together somehow
both moxxie and stolas want to connect with blitz (in different ways), but for stolas, that means severing possibly the only thing connecting them thus far (the book). for moxxie, that means climbing the staircase and possibly being pushed even further away.
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moxxie also has this high opinion of blitz despite all his obvious (and not so obvious) flaws. i think it's partially because of his own inferiority complex, but to him, blitz is the phantom--his scar becomes the mask he hides behind. he knows blitz puts on this loud, crude personality to hide his cracks and keep others away, and has a scarily accurate portrayal of him in his mind.
moxxie wants to be on the same level as blitz, and he knows it's possible to get there, because he's a damaged character himself and he gets it. he's just yet to take the actual first step.
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stolas, even in his own imagination, doesn't think it's possible to be emotionally intimate until the deal is broken. he could reach for blitz, but blitz wouldn't reach back. he's not looking. not to mention the literal celestial view he has of blitz in his head.
while stolas can see blitz's damage, he can't fully comprehend it yet, partially because blitz won't give him the chance and partially because stolas isn't damaged in the same way he is. they both had deadbeat dads, but they adapted in different ways.
that's just the way trauma works, you adapt to deal with it, and then have to unadapt those unhealthy coping mechanisms once you're finally safe. it just takes a while for people to realize they're actually safe, and these fruitcakes are no exception.
conclusion? uhh, i don't know, i guess i don't really have one. just. enough with the discourse about these bitches i guess??? just give them each some time, change takes more than two seasons.
i guess i could compare the way the songs are set up but this was supposed to be out like two days ago and it's already 11:45 so. maybe some other time, maybe in a post about moxxie's Interesting taste in musicals
was unfortunately unable to finish the mox vs. fizz masterpost this month but we'll see sometime in the coming months, maybe sometime after the next helluva short comes out. been a bit too busy with school and other social things to have time writing these long asf posts about my skrimblos
okay goodnight o/
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The way Blitz sees their connection to one another.
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The way Stolas sees their connection to one another.
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You ever have one of those moments rewatching just look my way and realize they both have imagined themselves 'chained' to the other and lose it a bit? The imagery here is everything.
Blitz seeing this bond between them as a gilded chain, reminiscent of servitude, but one that he willingly moved toward and has used as an excuse to say near/with Stolas (did you see that boy's reaction at the start of Apology Tour?). In Truth Seekers we don't see Blitz trying to get rid of the chains, in fact, he even blushed when Stolas pulled him closer. (Not that Blitz being put into this transactional relationship in the first place is a good thing but we do see throughout the show that what's between them for him is way more than just transactional. We also see that Stolas wishes to, and does, rectify this situationship they're in.)
For Stolas he literally imagines them connected by a thread of fate you romantic motherfucker, but he feels like that is just as restrictive, just as brutal as chains and that it must be broken. Being 'tied' to him has only caused Blitz pain. If you love him, set him free...
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disaster gays
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“I’m The Ghost With The Most, Babe.”
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My favorite brand of Blitz has gotta be the kind where he's just kissing Stolas like he means it
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What really gets me with the kiss they have in s1 e6 is the fact that Blitz just slides his hand across Stolas' cheek, it's making me go feral since I just recently noticed that little detail
Make sure to look at Stolas' eyebrows as well, this scene is so sensual in so many different subtle ways and I crave more scenes like it
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I can't wait for the next time they kiss on screen it's gonna be beautiful man
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Until you came along
Chpather 1/?
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Somewhat recovered from the trailer, so I'm back to editing the regular episodes once more.
Could we call this scene foreshadowing? /jk Unless... ... I mean... Stolas (as a prince) could technically become king, depending on where in the line to the throne he is and how many of the Goetia family will be left by the end of the show... Just some food for thought, nothing more.
Bonus:
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I’m bitches, back.
Here are some actually decent quality sketches, i already posted most of these but they were just photos of the screen bwahaha.
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Something about the way each of them say 'fuck you' to each other in these two scenes specifically gives me life
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idk how to explain it well, probably because in these scenes the 'fuck you' doesn't really have much/any bite to it at all, yet another parallel between them ig
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i'm writing a fic (it was not supposed to be as long as it's becoming) with millie & blitz that takes place right after western energy
yknow for maximum angst
but anyway so i rewatched the episode for Research purposes and this was the first time i caught this
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i mean, first of all, love all the foreshadowing hidden amongst these like 2 second frames. but does that say 3 days?
im assuming that's a reminder notif for the meeting with oz in 'oops' - are you telling me that happened 3 days after he was nearly killed?
so this man rolls up to ozzie's, still freshly full of ptsd from his own assassination attempt, i'm sure. and then is there for the moment ozzie finds out his boyf has been abducted (just like stolas had been) and that also, it was the same fucking man.
also okay now that i'm here, can we just talk about not only the like reliving of trauma that just seeing striker probably did to stolas but also.
but also.
ozzie's reaction to fizz being kidnapped & threatened is, like, probably the exact reaction he wishes blitz had had. that's the response he wishes he could garner out of someone, but instead. his wife put the hit on him, and... no one cared, at least in his experience of it, i'm SURE that's how it felt.
like, yes, moxxie & millie came and saved him, and yes, blitz had such a valid reason to not be there. but if we're looking at it through stolas's eyes - the only thing that kept him from being fucking murked right then and there was stella calling it off. millie & moxxie got there after that, but if stella hadn't called would they have gotten there in time??
and i mean, striker sure did make a point to rub in how no one was coming for him. (and like then he got left on read while he was in the hospital! ouch!)
if stolas felt a little bitter while he watched ozzie fight to do whatever the fuck crimson wanted just to keep fizz safe... yeah, i wouldn't blame him. that fucking sucks. that. fucking. SUCKS.
this poor goddamn owl.
(and i'm not disparaging blitz at all with this before anyone reads it that way. this all started bc i'm writing a whole ass fic now from blitz's pov after the 'git bevver swoon' text, bc as someone with a lot of useless guilt in my soul, i love digging into characters and their guilt complexes)
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more Vassago stuff 😁
He's getting a song
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I had this whole ass Stoliz fic idea inspired by The Man She Needs by Anson Seabra, even making a somewhat elaborate gif to give it a visual twist. But I've come to the conclusion, that I'll never write it. That's why I decided to post what I have to not let it go to waste. The working title, the (drunk?) text from Blitz to Stolas and Stolas' reply to it in the aforementioned gif.
And Hearts Will Break In Full Tonight
"hay stols. been thimkin wat if we giv us anoter chamce? i kno ive ben reel shitty leavn u liek taht and im srrry! miss u"
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This is very messy and rushed but i think it adds to the charm
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I'm gonna die alone aren't I?
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