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kiercns.

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Mentally preparing himself was more difficult than he imagined, he lifted a hand and concealed his eyes, squeezing them shut to accommodate for the pain he assumed would come. When Kieran finally eased into him, a whine left Josh’s lips and his entire torso seemed to lift from the bed, his brows furrowed but he looked up at the other with his features contorting. Josh took a moment, attempting to slow his breathing as he just looked into their eyes for a moment, “Okay... I’m okay...”

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kiercns.

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Josh grunted as they found a pace, his hand reaching down, gripping Kieran’s arm but not encouraging them to slow at all, instead finding himself fighting the urge to moan from each movement they offered. “Yeah,” He breathed, his hips slowly finding some form of rhythm, responding to Kieran quickly, “Fuck, okay -- okay, go on.”

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kiercns.

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Josh moaned as the other pushed their finger into him again, dancing his tongue around Josh’s own, fingers sliding up Kieran’s back, feeling over them, nails biting at the flesh as Josh let his eyes slip shut, attempting to enjoy the foreign feeling for what it was. It wasn’t painful, perhaps a little uncomfortable, but there was some pleasure with it, Josh attempted to focus on that for the time being.

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kiercns.

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Josh laughed, eyes slipping shut slowly as his body pushed up into Kieran’s touch. Their compliment distracted him from the seemingly endless amount of nerves, “So are you,” Josh murmured without missing a beat. His eyes widened a fraction when the other leaned over, beginning his prep, “Uh-huh,” Josh breathed, running his hands up Kieran’s back, features twisting as they pushed their finger into him. A small hiss fled Josh’s lungs, but he willed himself to relax with Kieran’s encouragement. “Come here,” He breathed out shakily, pulling them up to push his lips against their’s once again.

[shlbyprdgy-blog]

kiercns.

The words caused Kieran to pause, his nose brushing against the skin of Josh’s neck, “I know,” h almost whispered before he pulled back in order to remove his own shirt before his lips were back on Josh’s again. He moved the two of them closer to the bed, nudging Josh to lay back before he moved to hover over the other. “If you want me to stop…” His voice trailed off. He knew it was probably something that could go unsaid but he still wanted to make that clear.

Josh followed their guidance, moving to lie down on the bed, back curving almost automatically, body shifting in anticipation for what was to come. He glanced up, fingers pushing through Kierna’s hair, “No, I want you... I want this, just -- nervous, that’s all.”

[shlbyprdgy-blog]

kiercns.

Kieran let out a soft sigh of relief at Josh’s words, their lips meeting again in what seemed to be a much needed kiss as he began to blindly lead the two of them into the bedroom. He pulled back, allowing himself to remove Josh of his shirt before his lips found his neck once again, hands dropping down to tug at his pants.

He couldn’t deny that now, he was the nervous one, Kieran seemed to be relieved but he couldn’t be sure if it was because they wanted it, or because they wanted Josh to know that he was the only one for them, either way, his heart pounded erratically against his chest as they made their way towards the bedroom. “Hey,” Josh breathed as their lips parted for Kieran to pull his shirt over his head, mouth on Josh’s neck with his hands fiddling at his pants before Josh could catch a breath, “I trust you,” He murmured softly.

[shlbyprdgy-blog]

The automatic response caught Josh off guard and his lips twitched momentarily, as did other places. He blinked a few times, eyes falling to Kieran’s lips and then lower, he bit his lip again before meeting their gaze, “Fuck me.”

shlbyprdgy:

Josh’s features softened and he smiled as they made their way inside, the door closing behind them, locking in that almost electric atmosphere that usually sparked whenever they began to want each other so badly. “Do you want to?” Josh spoke, expression serious, “Really? Because I’m not going to put that pressure on you, I wasn’t particular bothered before, we have all the time in the world for you to – be my first top, it doesn’t have to be now unless you actually wanna fuck me.”

Kieran bit lightly on his own bottom lip as he watched Josh, gauging his reaction. “I want to,” Kieran said with a nod of his head. “I was nervous before and I panicked but I’m not nervous now.” Kieran offered the other a smile, his nose lightly bumping against Josh’s. “It’s up to you. Like you said, we have all the time in the world.”

[shlbyprdgy-blog]

kiercns.

“I panicked,” Kieran almost whined at Josh even though it was ultimately his decision on what he wanted. “I won’t panic this time but it’s up to you.” His lips brushed against his fiance’s again before he reached to take his hand in order to pull him inside the house but immediately moved closer to him once they were behind closed doors. “It’s whatever you want”

Josh’s features softened and he smiled as they made their way inside, the door closing behind them, locking in that almost electric atmosphere that usually sparked whenever they began to want each other so badly. “Do you want to?” Josh spoke, expression serious, “Really? Because I’m not going to put that pressure on you, I wasn’t particular bothered before, we have all the time in the world for you to -- be my first top, it doesn’t have to be now unless you actually wanna fuck me.”

[shlbyprdgy-blog]

fionaxvincent.

“I trust your judgement, baby, but what if there is even a slightest chance it’s been clouded by well-crafted lies and a large penis?” It’s astounding how she managed to say the statement with a straight face and without a drop of humor. Vulgar and blunt as it was, Fiona was being one hundred percent serious. “Apologies can’t erase past actions and it doesn’t change how I feel about them. For every single time Kieran and I are forced in the same room together, I’ll always see him as the rich trust fund little shit who bullied my child.” She released a deep breath, forcing away the tense knots in her shoulders. Being a bitch to Kieran wasn’t exactly worth losing her son. “And would acting…somewhat civil make you happy, Josh? I mean, I’ll try behaving, but they say something smartass to me and I’m pushing back.”

“Kieran isn’t lying to me, they love me and I love them,” He shook his head, refusing to acknowledge the attempt of humour in her statement, he didn’t want to think about this right now, he’d attempted to go the softer route with his mother, the same route as his father but it didn’t seem to be working. “I forgot your past actions, mom, you know when you took me away from dad when it was the last thing I wanted, when you forced me into that school and fought dad every step of the way to keep me there even though I was miserable. That was never just about Kieran by the way, that was just Northside as a whole. I forgave you for that, I forgave you for cornering my fiance and I even tried the nice route here, I wanted us to be okay and to do this the nice way but now I’m giving you an ultimatum.” Josh straightened up, “You either learn to be nice, put aside your differences and stop trying to involve yourself in my love life, or you’re not invited to the wedding and you stay the hell out of my life. Make a decision.”

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kiercns.

“I’m pretty sure Aspen would sacrifice me if the situation arose,” Kieran argued, an amused smile on their lips. Kieran found themselves being pulled out of the car, one one of their arms slipping around Josh’s shoulders. “Love you like I have been,” they mumbled, lips brushing against the other’s. Kieran gave a slow nod of his head at Josh’s words, “I believe you and I’ll support whatever you want to do. If it doesn’t work – we’ll figure it out.”

“I said you were their friend, I didn’t say they loved you,” Josh teased, bowing their foreheads together, curling his arms around their waist, “Thanks...” His hands slipped beneath Kieran’s t-shirt, stroking over their back, “Wanna give the advice a try?”

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kiercns.

“Hey, I’m not knocking the idea,” Kieran responded with a grin. “If having sex when we argue is something that helps then I’m all for it.” Kieran nodded his head, “Probably. I mean, the only people they really seem to care about are their sister and Avery. It is kinda creepy how you can’t really read them all the time.” Of course, that didn’t stop Kieran from sleeping with Aspen a time or two but that was beside the point.

“They’re your friend,” Josh retorted with a smirk, trying not to think of what else they were to Kieran at one point. It didn’t take too long to reach home and Josh near enough pulled the other out of the car as he did. “Seriously, what the hell are you doing with me?” He mumbled, pressing his lips against theirs, “I promise I won’t react like that again, I’ll try, I’ll go back to therapy -- okay?”

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kiercns.

“Is the advice that we should just fuck every time we argue?” Kieran asked with a raise of his brow. “It is weird that they’re a healthy relationship but Aspen’s not exactly the average person so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised so much that they don’t have many issues.” Kieran wasn’t around Aspen and Avery together a lot but Kieran had his history with Aspen.

“Yeah, I mean we should definitely still talk about it but if it takes away some of the uh, anger till then, it’s better than bailing on each other again, don’t you think?” Josh shrugged, “Just a thought.” He pulled out into Southside and glanced over the other, “Yeah, it must be awesome not to feel that much.”

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kiercns.

“Typical Northsider dad,” Kieran responded almost without hesitation. ‘Well, he’s a little worse than the typical Northsider dad.” He almost wanted to chuckle at Josh’s description of Dillon, “That is a pretty accurate description now that I think about it.” Kieran let out a soft sigh as he brought their hands up so he could place a gentle kiss to the back of Josh’s hand. “I’m sorry too.” He looked over at him, “I know we’re going to fight. We can’t avoid it we just can’t let it get this bad.”

Josh laughed it in return, squeezing their hand, “Avery gave me some pretty good advice, we could give that a try next time we fight...” Josh breathed, “Aspen and Avery just fuck every time they have a fight... Isn’t it weird that they’re a healthy relationship?”

[shlbyprdgy-blog]

kiercns.

Kieran almost pouted when Josh pulled out of the kiss but they also knew if they didn’t stop now there was no way that they were going to get home. “Wow. I’m surprised you weren’t to be honest,” Kieran replied once they had gotten into the car. “Almost thought Callum was going to blow a gasket when I ran into him in town.”

“I don’t think he has room to get mad, he didn’t even come and see his fucking kid, what is wrong with that guy?” Josh shook his head, “Yeah, I know I said a lot of stuff about him but then he showed up at my house and he’s... he’s tall but he’s small, you know? Fragile looking.” They pulled off and made their way back, Josh’s hand reached out, curling around Kieran’s own, “I really am sorry, you know?”

[shlbyprdgy-blog]

kiercns.

Kieran couldn’t help but return Josh’s smile. He didn’t like fighting with him. He didn’t like the tension and he was glad that Josh came here for them to talk. “I love you so much too,” he spoke softly, watching as Josh put the ring back on his finer. “I won’t ever take it off again, I promise.” Kieran hummed against Josh’s lips, thumbs brushing against Josh’s cheeks before slowly pulling back. “Come on. Lets go home.”

Josh nodded, curled his hand around Kieran’s own and tugged them towards the door, pushing it open and giving a small smile to Emery who stood outside with a cigarette perched between his lips, “Thanks, man,” He nodded his head and glanced at Kieran raising his brows before patting them on the back and heading inside. Josh guided the other towards his car, opening up the door and pulling them into another kiss before letting them climb inside. “I dropped Dillon off like a good samaritan, even walked him to his door, I thought I was gonna get Scarfaced by Callum.”

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kiercns.

Kieran’s mouth was on Josh’s the moment that he finished talking, hands coming up to cup his face. “You’re the only one that makes me feel safe,” Kieran managed to murmur as he slowly pulled away from Josh but stayed close to him. That was more important than anything else. Kieran could have been with someone that was more like him or even from Northside but Josh made Kieran feel safe and a lot of people couldn’t do that. “I don’t want you to beg,” he spoke quietly. “I just want my ring back and I want to go home with you.”

Josh melted into his kiss, his hands slipping to the back of their neck before lowering to the small of their back, welcoming the close proximity. He bowed their foreheads together and smiled, “I love you so much, Kieran.” Josh pulled back for a moment, taking their hand and slipping the ring back onto their finger, “Please don’t ever take this off again, I hated that,” He near enough whispered, bringing their lips together once again.

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kiercns.

Kieran took the box and looked down at it before simply setting it to the side as Josh continued to speak. “I didn’t…” Kieran sighed, “I didn’t mean a lot of what I said. I just…I shouldn’t have let the conversation with Dillon continue – you’re right. It wasn’t…right and I just didn’t think anything of it because I knew none of it was serious but I get what it may look like to you.” Kieran chewed on their bottom lip as they glanced down at the ring before looking back at Josh, “Do you trust me? Because I want this and I want you but if you don’t trust me…”

Josh looked up at the ceiling, tears filling his eyes again as he sucked in his breath, “Kieran,” He breathed out their name, moving towards them and cupping their jaw, “Of course I trust you... I have no idea why, because I literally don’t trust anybody who isn’t... well, who I haven’t known my whole life. But I trust you, I just freaked out because -- I don’t... get why you wanna be with me... At all, this makes no sense to me at all, like what the fuck are you doing with a guy like me? But... I love you, I want this and I want to be with you, you’re the only person I wanna be with, please... please come home, please put this ring back on...” Josh paused, rubbing his lips together, “You want me to beg? I’ll beg...”