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i just never want to see elon musk happy

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For Years my brother has been fucking with me by periodically texting me to say Jimmy Carter had finally died. Today the bit has paid off.

The response to my reaction at work was “what do you MEAN ‘for real this time’?????”

I fucking hate it here I’m crying

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Not diagnosing a child doesn't mean they won't notice they're different. It just means that instead of thinking "I'm struggling because I have autism/adhd/anxiety/depression/schizophrenia", they will just conclude that they are struggling because they are stupid, weak, annoying, unlovable, etc.

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You ever think about how we call toddlers that because they can't walk right. They toddle about. Fuckin idiots. Fuckin idiot steppers can't walk properly. Call 'em wobblers. This is my son Jeffrey he's at the age where I mock him for walking like a fucking scrub. "Skill issue" ass name.

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Today we're here to appreciate the homosexuality of Spider-man and Deadpool

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I love that so much fanwork has Wade and Peter's relationship built from enjoying food together. It is such a beautiful way to start the friendship (as people have been enjoying fellowship around food since people have peopled) but Oh. My. God. I am so tired of being so hungry because of the amount of food that is constantly mentioned in spideypool fanfiction.

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there's a stage in sandwich consumption where it's falling to pieces & you're desperately cupping it in your hands & it's like this poor wounded animal that is covered in mustard & wants to die

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rip thomas you would've been such a theatre kid. newt and minho would come to all your shows, and i mean all your shows. newt would get you flowers everytime and both of them would tell you that you did an absolutely awesome job even if you were ensemble. like c'mon. we all know this.

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like the first rule of cooking is to have fun and be yourself and the first rule of baking is to stay calm because the dough can sense fear

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Personally I’ve never been a fan of mcu spidey just cuz he’s too nice.

I prefer him where he is trying his best, he is nice, but I also should want to have the feeling of wanting to whack him on the head with a loaf of bread or in a snowball fight, he’s the first to get whacked by me or if he’s wearing hat, yank it so he can’t see for a couple of seconds when he gets sassy sometimes? (Only when he gets too cheeky, not doing this to him before he is cheeky. That’d be mean. Only when he deserves it 😂 ).

Anybody get what I’m saying? (Charmingly annoying in an endearing kind of way vibe).

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women in PHLEGM (poetry, history, language, english literature, ghost stories, music)

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No actor will ever fit the book description of their character better than Ki Hong Lee as Minho in The Maze Runner

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‘isn’t peter like 16? this is disgusting’ ‘why is deadpool flirting w/ a 16yo’ I cannot keep having this conversation

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i’ve started to think about ao3 audience interaction as kinda comparable to doing a live reading in an intimate little bookstore, like kudos are everybody who stayed til the end and applauded, comments are everybody who waited to come up to talk to you afterwards, and bookmark comments are the little snatches of conversation you overhear outside.

this helps me feel better/less anxious about responding to comments with some form of thanks, because if someone walked up to me in person and said they liked my work right after reading it, i would compulsively say thanks. it also helps contextualize audience size in a healthy way i think, bc most of us naturally crave more attention on our fic, but if we were actually in the room with even like 20 people applauding and five people waiting after to tell us how awesome we are we’d be fuckin elated.  

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“here’s what we know about the uhc shooter”

WRONG! He is a suspect and we should treat him as such. He should be treated as innocent until proven guilty, not guilty until proven innocent. He’s a person of interest not the killer. I don’t care what the media or authorities are saying, he’s a human being who deserves a fair trial and deserves to be treated as innocent until proven otherwise.

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*looks into your eyes (if you're comfortable with that)*

hey, listen..

calling newt from tmr straight is like calling noel from rtc straight, alright?

thanks.