shortstoriesfromravioli-blog

[shortstoriesfromravioli-blog]

Boar Stew

Lloyd brought a spoonful of stew to his lips and slurped greedily. He chewed with glee as the slow cooked meat chunks melted in his mouth.

His uncle Ray had gone hunting and brought back a plump and tasty boar carcass with him. 

Uncle Ray couldn't possibly finish all the boar himself, given that he was single from his recent divorce and his ex wife had gained custody of the kids. So good ol' uncle Ray had decided to share the spoils of his hunt with his brother John and his nephew Lloyd.

Lloyd loved the gesture, not because he cared for game meat, but because it meant that he could freeze the meat and eat it over the course of a year, saving him bundles.

Lloyd looked over at his girlfriend, smiled and continued to chew.

Lauren had shoulder length brown hair, bright eyes and a nose so big that it turned heads.

As Lloyd smiled, she noticed a big chunk of meat sticking out of his left canine tooth.

She knew that Lloyd was self conscious, he was overly skinny, short of stature, had greasy hair that was way too long, and his teeth were as crooked as a televangelist. But he was a good man and she loved him nonetheless. Due to Lloyd's self consciousness, Lauren decided to not point out the whole food in teeth situation. 

Lloyd seemed very happy today, she thought, they had recently paid rent and were tight on money, so when uncle Ray showed up with the boar meat, Lloyd was ecstatic. Lauren didn't want to ruin his day, so she decided to stay quiet and bear the unseemly sight.

Lauren smiled back and brought a spoonful her vegetarian stew to her mouth.

That night, Lloyd had boar chops for dinner and boar jerky for snack. By the end of the night, most of Lloyd's front teeth had saved a good portion of the boar for later consumption.

Lloyd was so happy that night that he cleaned the house and washed the dishes.

"Things are looking up for us Lauren!" he said throughout the night.

At dawn Lauren woke up to the tooting sound of gas relief and the smell of a long forgotten rest stop toilet.

She grimaced and covered her face with the blanket.

"Are you ok Lloyd?" she asked, raising her voice over the sound of the guttural orchestra.

"Uhh" he replied loudly "I just ate too much".

Lauren put on her earbuds and turned on some heavy metal music to drown out the noise.

It must have been close to noon when Lauren woke again. She sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Lloyd wasn't in the room and the bathroom door was open, the smell was mostly gone.

She took off the earbuds and made her way to the living room.

"Lloyd?" she called.

She found him lying face down on the couch, hair wet with perspiration.

"Are you ok babe?" Lauren asked, touching his back, her hand coming back damp and sticky.

"Ughh" Lloyd moaned "I might need some bismuth".

Lauren moved the wet hair from his face and noticed that his complexion had a green tint to it.

Lloyd was not the type to easily have an upset stomach, she had witnessed him consume expired meat and spoiled milk without issue.

"Should I call a doctor?" she asked worryingly.

"Nah" he replied weakly.

"Let me at least call your dad" she continued.

Lloyd did not protest, whether it was because he didn't mind or was too weak to reply, she couldn't tell.

Lauren picked up her cell phone and dialed.

The phone rang and went to voicemail.

She tried again multiple times to no avail.

"I'll try the uncle" she thought to herself.

The phone rang and a gruff voice answered quickly,

"Hello?"

"Hey umm... Ray?"

"Yeah?"

"Lloyd ate a lot of boar meat yesterday and is feeling really sick today, have you experienced any issues?"

"Umm… nah, not me. I didn't eat any boar yet, not so hungry for boar after doing all that butchering.

"Ok, well, do you think there would be any reasons for that boar to make anybody sick."

"No way, I found that boar in the purple wood, bagged him, butchered him and kept him in my mobile fridge until I got back".

"You… you went to the purple wood??"

"Yeah, there wasn't any game where I usually hunt so I went a bit further in, before long I found myself in the purple wood".

"Ray, you do know that the purple wood is a contaminated area right? Some kids tore down the fence last week and they haven't brought it back up again."

"I didn't see no goddamn fence! I don't know nothing about no damn contamination!"

"You didn't see a fence because… Okay, you know what, nevermind, I need to take Lloyd to the hospital. Goodbye"

At that, she hung up the phone, exasperated. 

Lauren tapped Lloyd in the shoulder.

"Hey Lloyd, we need to get you to the hospital."

There was no reply.

She shifted him into a sitting position and he woke.

"Heyyy" he beamed a smile at Lauren. "I'm fine."

She could see the meat still stuck in his teeth, it looked much larger than it had yesterday.

"I had enough of looking at that," she said, as she walked to the bathroom.

Lauren came back with a floss pick and began flossing the meat out of Lloyd's teeth.

As she stuck the pick between two teeth, she felt it snag hard.

She pulled with more strength than needed, but the pick did not budge.

Lauren could see an enormous chunk of meat sitting in between two of Lloyd's teeth, mocking her efforts. The chunk was so big that she could just reach in there a grab it.

She shuffled to the bathroom again and came back with tweezers.

She reached into the mouth and pinched a big piece of the meat.

"I got you now" she said aloud.

Lauren pulled hard and felt something stringy and squishy.

The meat was being pulled out, but there was much more attached than she originally thought.

"How?" she thought to herself.

She continued pulling and the meat slowly came out.

Eventually the meat was free from the teeth and hung from her tweezers swaying slowly.

"I did it!" she said at last, smiling.

The meat still hung from her tweezers moments later but the swaying never stopped.

Lauren took a closer look.

The meat was moving by itself! Lauren could feel the meat's muscles contracting with each sway.

Lauren yelped and let go of the tweezers.

The "meat" fell to the ground and scurried quickly under the couch.

She looked at Lloyd and froze.

He was getting up, his arms laid limp at his sides and his neck tilted backwards unnaturally.

Lloyd slowly moved his chin down back to eye level and smiled the biggest smile he had ever smiled.

The creases of his mouth opened up and slithering pieces of "meat" set themselves free and scurried down his body and onto the floor.

Lauren was frozen in terror, her body shaking vigorously.

"Ll-Lloyd??" she uttered.

Lloyd opened his mouth wide and coughed a guttural cough.

Phlegm flew out of his mouth and onto Lauren's face.

She shrieked.

Then something came out of his mouth, something that had a head, teeth and tentacles.

Lauren tried to step back, but the slithering pieces of "meat" were holding her in place.

She shrieked again, louder this time.

The tentacled creature leaped from Lloyd's mouth onto Lauren' face.

Lauren fell back and hit her head hard on the hardwood floor as the mouth of the tentacle horror bit down on her oversized nose and feasted.

[shortstoriesfromravioli-blog]

First to Mars

Kain and Alana Williams are astronauts  who have met during their tenure at NASA. They have a great personal and professional relationship.

When the day came that they were asked to be the first to colonize Mars, they were ecstatic.

Their mission was to land on Mars with a small colonization shuttle and lay the ground works for the larger colonization vessel that was due to arrive several months later.

The shuttle's landing went without any issue, all readings were nominal. On the first and second day, they focused on scanning their landing area and setting up sensor towers.

Kain's strength was data analysis, while Alana excelled in mechanical engineering.

On the third day, a warning message caught Kain's attention as he was running through the daily diagnostics. A sensor tower was offline.

"Hey Alana, was there any issue setting up sensor tower 3?"

"Not at all" replied Alana, shaking her head

"It looks like it's offline" said Kain "would you mind going out there and making sure the electrical connection is stable?"

"Of course" responded Alana "give me a minute to suit up".

The couple exchanged a kiss and Alana began to don her space suit.

The new space suit model was quite slimmer and more form fitting than previous ones, but by far, the best improvement was the helmet. It was less bulky and the tint was barely noticeable.

After Alana finished donning her space suit, she gave her husband a big smile.

"We could live in these things!" her voice came through with minimal distortion and could be heard over the PA system in the shuttle.

With a wave, she exited through the airlock. Kain watched his beloved through a view port until she was out of view.

Kain resumed his daily diagnostic duties, he made a note to re-examine their sensor tower installation technique.

A short while later a knock came at the airlock.

Alana smiled at Kain through the viewport.

Kain pushed the button that released the lock on the airlock system and a few seconds later, Alana was at his side.

"I see that the sensor tower is back online, did everything go ok?" He asked.

"Yep" was her reply.

Alana continued to a changing room while Kain fiddled with his tablet.

A knock came at the airlock.

Kain's heart jumped, he moved towards the view port.

Alana was standing outside the shuttle, she smiled at Kain.