shotsofangst - Tumblr blog

[shotsofangst]

Happy Anniversary

My reaper @ofcrosnangst,

Ten months and counting! We've had so many against us this whole time. I love you with each day that passes. Thank you for loving me back.

Always,

Julie

[shotsofangst]

#MCM #MCE

My baby @ofcrosnangst,

I love you more than you will ever know. Thank you for taking this amazing journey with me.

Love,

J

[shotsofangst]

I am so far behind or at least it feels that way.

thank you for being so patient with me, baby. I appreciate it more than you understand. @ofcrosnangst I love you.

[shotsofangst]

Happy Anniversary

My reaper @ofcrosnangst,

Nine months! Holy shit! I love you so much. I never thought that I would find love again. I love our stories, I love our life. Almost a year! So many people would be angry about that. We won.

Always,

J

[shotsofangst]

#MCM #MCE

My baby @ofcrosnangst,

I love you so much and I can't wait to add to our story. Thank you for loving me no matter what.

Always,

J

[shotsofangst]

#MCM #MCE

My baby @ofcrosnangst,

You are my everything. I finally feel free from the judgment and hate of others. Thank you for sticking by me through everything. I love you so much.

Love,

J

[shotsofangst]

I have the best husband

Thank you baby. I can breathe

[shotsofangst]

#MCM #MCE

My baby @ofcrosnangst,

You are my world. People can try, but they will never be us. I love you so much. Thank you for loving me, baby.

Always,

J

[shotsofangst]

[I heard what @ofcrosnangst said when I was holding Abel, but I tuned him out as a fuck ton of Mayans showed up to pay their respects to me and Marcus for the loss of my dad. It took me a second for me to hear Dad talking to me.

“Mija, put Abel down for a second, baby.”

I looked at Marcus like he’d lost his fucking mind.]

Papi, why? I’ve got him, I promise he’s fine.

[Marcus chuckled and spoke softly.

“I know, but someone is here to see you and you will want to hug them. Trust me.”

I huffed and put Abel back in his car seat. The front door opened, and Dad spoke softly.

“It is safe now, she put the baby down.”

I watched as someone stood in the doorway tilting my head to the side. It was a man dressed in biker boots, black jeans, a navy blue hoodie, and a leather jacket. He said nothing to me as my eyes swept over him again before landing on his face. He was wearing a baseball hat and Rayban shades. Then it hit me like a damn train. His stance, the outfit, the fact that he wouldn’t say a word.]

John.

[His name falling from my lips sounded more like a question than a statement. I saw the shades lower just enough to catch the wink of those blue eyes. I bolted from the couch and ran. The fact that this man collided with a semi-truck in ’93 completely left my mind as I charged for him at full speed. He didn’t miss a beat as he scooped me into his arms.]

“Hi, Sugar, I’m so damn sorry about your daddy. He was a damn good man.”

The whispers against my hair made me tear up.

“Had to come out of hiding for you. Can you introduce me to my grandson, Sugar?”

I nodded, jumping down and turning to look at @ofcrosnangst. It finally hit him that his daddy was right there. I watched as JT came inside and sat in Daddy’s recliner. He tucked his shades away and chuckled.

“Disappointed, Gemma?” Hey, son.”

It was obvious to me that JT was stiff, but he was gonna fight it hard. I settled Abel in his arms and spoke quietly.]

Abel, this is your grandpa, John.

 [I turned to hug Jax tight and whispered against his chest.]

Gonna make him some tea to help. Do you want anything, baby?

Not Again

[My hands shook violently as I pulled into my dad's driveway. He met me before I could even park my car. "Mija, I'm so sorry, everyone will be here soon." I got out of my car and wrapped my arms around my adoptive father, Marcus Alvarez. He adopted me after I was sent to foster care when I was five. My biological father, Jesus Vargas was his best friend and VP when I was really little. My father was on death row in Stockton for killing my mother and her boyfriend at the time for abusing me. When I got to work this morning I got a call from the warden that my father was beaten to death in the showers very early this morning.] I DO NOT want Angel here, Papi. [Marcus kissed my hair and whispered. "I know and he won't be. Mijo! Come get your sister huh?" I was confused, but I couldn't form words. Then I hit my knees as my older brother Esai stood in the garage watching me. "J Bug, what's wrong? Did you spend way too much time in Santo Padre? You look like you've seen a ghost." I couldn't move but I was picked up off the driveway by Esai. "J, seriously what's wrong with you?" I looked up at Esai and shook my head.] You died! SAMCRO stabbed you in the head and Papi paid them! [Esai held me tight. "Pop! Angel told her SAMCRO killed me. You wanna call Charming and get Teller here? That's why she disappeared on us." As soon as I was brought into the house I could smell all the wonderful food being cooked. "Esai! She looks sick. Marcus! What did you do to our baby?" My mother the only one that mattered other than Gemma Teller. "Mama, Angel was telling her lies this whole time. She thought Pop had me killed by SAMCRO." My hands were shaking as I listened to my mother. GOOD GOD! NO! Juliana Marie, you know your Papi wouldn't do that! Jax wouldn't either he's your best friend. He knows how much Esai means to you. Is that why you haven't said anything to anyone in a few years?" I nodded and hugged my knees.] I left him, Mama. I left Angel. [I was pulled into a hug and my mother's soft voice soothed me. "For more than the lies?" I swallowed back a sob as I answered her question.] He got someone else pregnant. [The roar of Harleys in the driveway made me want to hide. Not only was my biological father killed, but I'd just broken my own heart all over again having to tell my family that my marriage was over. "Mija, someone is here to see you." I groaned.] Papi, I really don't... [I stopped talking when white Nikes came into view. I lifted my eyes and saw @ofcrosnangst standing at the end of the couch.] Jax!

[shotsofangst]

I feel so very I don't know

Triggered out the ass. I'll be under a blanket or something until @ofcrosnangst can help settle this down

[shotsofangst]

#MCM #MCE

My baby @ofcrosnangst,

You are so loved. I can't wait to expand our story and our love. I love you so much.

Love,

J

[shotsofangst]

#MCM #MCE

My baby @ofcrosnangst,

I love you so much! Thank you for giving my heart a proper home. I can't wait to continue our chaos.

Love,

J

[shotsofangst]

Happy Anniversary

To my future baby daddy and king @ofcrosnangst,

EIGHT! We made it to eight months! I love you more every day. Thank you for this wild ride.

Always,

J

[shotsofangst]

#MCM #MCE

My king @ofcrosnangst,

You are my everything. I'm hoping that you know that. I love you with all that I am. Forever.

Always,

J

[shotsofangst]

#MCM #MCE

My king @ofcrosnangst,

I love you so much and I can't imagine how my life would be without you in it.

Forever,

J

[shotsofangst]

#MCM #MCE

My king @ofcrosnangst,

You are my everything. Thank you for loving me so much. I love you with all that I am.

Forever,

J

[shotsofangst]

#MCM #MCE

To my king @ofcrosnangst,

I love you so much. Thank you for taking my hand and making sure that I never walk alone anymore. You are amazing.

Love,

J