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Reassurance hits different when it’s not requested.

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I like to fuck around and waste time for at least ~6-10 hours per day, and let me tell you, that really puts some pressure on your schedule. you have no idea how busy I am

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how it feels knowing that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall

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i'll always be sorry for not being the daughter my parents deserve

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the intimacy of wanting to make eye contact but never being able to maintain it

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are some of you guys computer viruses be honest

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They say once you delete social media, you'll get your life back. So, I deleted my instagram a few months ago and I've been inactive on snapchat for as long as I can remember. I even uninstalled Netflix and other OTT platforms.

So, here an honest account of my life without the mainstream social media and the changes that I saw.

No, I didn't magically start sleeping early. I had to force myself not to open youtube and scroll shorts, and I had to force myself to shut my eyes close. Most of the nights, I'd lay wide awake looking up at the ceiling with thoughts running wild in my mind.

However, I learned to pat my own back and say positive affirmations while drifting off to sleep. I learned how a warm cup of milk at night would solve half of my sleep problems. I started meditation where I usually scroll through reels. I became more aware of the things that calm me down and hence, a better timely sleep.

No, I didn't magically start spending hours on studying or being productive. Most of the days, I hardly managed to get a 2 hour study session done. Or, I'd spend time watching random youtube videos and available dramas.

However, I got so bored of it that studying seemed more interesting and so I did. I learned to concentrate on one task for hours through practice and consistency which was surprisingly a result of my boredom. And in the process, I managed to increase my attention span from '30 seconds of reels' to 2-3 hours of lectures.

No, I didn't magically start feeling happier. Instead I spend hours sitting with my insecurities, feeding my loneliness because I had no one to interact over reels, no one to interact through posts and stories. I had no information about my friends' whereabouts and all the other things happening in their life. No one had mine either. I felt alone, perhaps, lonely for the majority of time.

However, in the meanwhile, I found real friends who started texted me on whatsapp and made genuine efforts to keep me in touch through phone calls and video calls. And so did I.

No, I neither magically became successful nor an academic weapon. I mean, I still had to google if it's 'successful' or 'successfull'. I still lack a lot of basic information and general awareness. And no, I'm not earning in lakhs, not yet.

However, I managed to read more, be it fiction or non-fiction, self help books. I've become more self aware and more realistic. I know why I am the way I am because I started reading on it. I started analyzing the situations and the resulted behaviour. I might not be successful yet, but I'm ahead of the person I used to be a few months ago.

No, I didn't magically lost the weight or improved my health. I was lethargic most of the time. I still am. I still eat a whole bag of chips and a can of sode while watching series.

However, I started sleeping better with no negativity or disturbance-a byproduct of consuming social media. My dark circles have started fading out, my skin has become healthier. I wake up early and go to gym regularly. But this time, not to post a gym story but for myself.

I didn't see the changes as fast as other people claim. I tormented myself without social media and while doing so I sculpted a new me, a better me. In the end, it is worth it.

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Isn't it suspicious how many "great minds" of history retired after their wives divorced them or died? hmmm

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like mitski said: one morning this sadness will fossilize and i will forget how to cry

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ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to know everything

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I am creating a life i don’t want to run from i am creating a life i don’t want to run from i am creating a life i don’t want to run from

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Don't rely on men to save you

These men will flee like cockroaches at the sign of danger and leave women and children behind. But yes "superior logical stronger braver sex"

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