shslobjectempath - Tumblr blog

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Elliot was conscious of the way Pacca was hugging him, even if Pacca wasn't. This was good. This was nice. Pacca was nice after all, and now he could vouch for Pacca if they thought he was suspicious because he was 'violent and angry'. He was nice, and now he had actual proof. 

But he couldn't relax like this forever. Someone had been killed. They had to do something about that. 

He had no idea what to do. Cringing, he hid his face, sighing. 

-

Pacca’s breathing slowed down even more as he felt Elliot relax. He felt like he was wanted in this world again, and that made him unconsciously hug Elliot too him. It was a wonderful feeling and Pacca didn’t want to let it go just yet. So he laid quietly with Elliot for a few more minutes longer.

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Elliot relaxed even further once they were laying down, because then he didn't have to worry about partially supporting himself, about not being a dead weight in Pacca's arms. With a little sigh, he let himself drape across Pacca's chest, enjoying the feeling of Pacca's soothing touches. Who'd have known someone who'd nearly brought the roof down on all of them just days before would be able to be so gentle and caring?

Elliot knew. He knew there had to be something soft and kind in there. It was in everyone; or at least he hoped as much. You just had to dig to find it...

-

Pacca takes the card and opens the door while trying not to jostle Elliot too much. He makes his way over to the bed and sits down on it before laying down whilst still hugging him, sighing quietly to himself and going back to smoothing his hand up and down Elliot’s back. 

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Elliot blinked, lifting his head long enough to reach behind him and dig around in the back pocket of his pants before he pulled out his keycard, handing it over to Pacca wordlessly. That done, he slumped against the other again, letting out a little sigh. His heartbeat was finally calming down, and he only shook a little bit. Pacca's presence really was helping him. 

-

A small smile pulled on the corner of Pacca’s lips and the smaller boy relaxed in his arms. Memories of a young girl’s laugh echoed in Pacca’s mind, making him sigh happily. He used to carry her like this. 

Pacca gently hugged Elliot at the fond memories as he walked down the hall, tracking his way back to Elliot’s room. He was very careful in taking the long way around to avoid the room that Elliot had found earlier. As he approached the room he nudged Elliot gently with his shoulder. “I need your key card.” 

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Elliot leaned gladly against Pacca, nuzzling into his shoulder and letting himself rest more or less relaxed in his arms. He was vaguely reminded of the times when he was very small, just a toddler, and still with his mother. She didn't really pick him up often, but when she did hold him, it'd felt warm and comforting, even if she did smell funny. He felt like a child, but oddly, he was okay with that. It was comfortable. Pacca's hand on his back was calming, and that was what he needed right now. 

-

Pacca sighed, relieved that Elliot was taking him up on his offer. He adjusted his grip on the smaller boy as he stood up. Carefully picking Elliot up like a toddler, having no trouble in lifting him off of the floor and into his arms. Pacca smoothed a hand across Elliot’s back before he pulled him close to his chest so he could  get a proper hold on him.

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There was hardly any hesitation at all. Without saying a word, Elliot moved his head, slumping forward to hide his face in Pacca's shoulder and nodded slowly. He still felt dizzy and, though he was sure he could suck it up and walk if he needed to, the offer was there, and he wanted to take it if he could. 

-

Three whole words, not bad if he did say so himself. Pacca nodded back and let his hands rest on Elliot’s shoulders. “Want me to carry you there?” He raised a brow and you couldn’t tell from the tone if he was joking or not. 

"S’only fair…" Oh gods, he wasn’t joking.

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Pacca's sympathy only seemed to make Elliot feel worse. He prided himself on having control of himself, and here he was breaking down right away and Pacca had to take care of him. Pacca shouldn't have to take care of him. 

It still felt nice though. 

Daring a glance back up into Pacca's eyes, he nodded curtly. "My room." he said. "Water..." 

-

"Nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout." Pacca’s eyes slid open to watch Elliot carefully. His voice was quiet and had lost most of it’s gruffness in it’s quiet state. His thumbs continued to gently stroke Elliot’s cheeks as he tilted his head slightly to nuzzle their foreheads together. 

"Want me to take you somewhere..?Get you somethin’ to drink?" Pacca offered quietly, hoping to get more then one word answers from the boy.

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After a little while, Elliot realized what Pacca was doing- matching the breath to the strokes, and Elliot tried to do the same, forcing his breathing to slow to match the way Pacca gently caressed his cheeks. It was still unsteady, but at least it wasn't as fast any more. He swallowed again, trying to will his heartbeat to calm, to clear his head...

Some minutes later, the time spent simply sitting there, breathing, Elliot's grip on Pacca's wrists loosened, and he opened his eyes. He still felt a little faint and he could still feel his heart thumping in his chest, but it was slower now, almost back to its normal pace, and his stomach had calmed down (somewhat). 

Dropping his hands to his lap, he averted his eyes. He seemed ashamed.

"Sorry..."

-

Pacca frowned and slowly closed his eyes, still stroking and cooing to Elliot. He didn’t mind when Elliot took a hold of his wrists, and just tried to concentrate on evening out Elliot’s breathing by matching his own calm breathing with the gently strokes on his cheeks. 

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Smile...? Why was Pacca smiling? Usually Elliot was pretty good at reading people, but right now his mind felt fogged and slow, like cold syrup, hardly moving. Smiles usually meant... Happiness... But Pacca couldn't be happy. They'd just found a dead person... He couldn't be happy, right? 

Slowly, the empath shut his eyes as Pacca's face came closer, and he felt the taller boy's warmth against his face, the warm hand cupping his cheek. Oh. Breathe. He should probably be breathing. He only realized, with Pacca so close, that he'd been holding his breath. Sucking in a breath almost like a gasp, he breathed shakily, still a little too quickly, and he raised trembling arms, grasping Pacca's wrists in his hands and holding onto them tightly though he didn't move, if only to ground himself. 

-

Pacca went quiet and he forced a weak smile in his lips. His hands moved to cup Elliot’s face as he leaded closer to the boy, gently pressing his forehead against Elliot’s. 

Pacca hushed and cooed quietly to Elliot. Stroking his cheeks with his callused thumbs. Trying to sooth the empath.

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When Pacca touched him, the boy would be able to tell that he was shaking horribly. His face was sickly pale, his pupils blown wide, dilated so that his eyes were very dark and blank. It took him a long moment before he brought himself to look Pacca in the eye, like his gaze was too heavy for him to easily tear it away from the floor. 

Looking up at Pacca, he blinked slowly, his arms hanging limply by his sides. "I'm okay," he repeated, but at this point, his words sounded so empty that it had no real meaning. "I'm okay... I'm okay..." His hands and face were clammy with a cold sweat. He swallowed hard. "I'm sorry. Don't worry. I'm okay."

-

Pacca’s eyes went wide with worry as Elliot got up. He carefully followed behind the smaller boy, making sure he didn’t feel crowded by his presence and held his arms out, just in case Elliot needed something to grab onto. But Pacca was too slow to catch the boy when he fell to his knees. But instead of panicking, Pacca dropped to his knees beside him and gently pulled Elliot away from the trashcan. 

"Hey… Look at me." Pacca dipped his head down and tried to make eye contact with Elliot. He brushed Elliot’s bangs out of his face, trying to get him to look at him again.

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Elliot thought he heard ringing in his ears and he wondered what that noise could be, but didn't quite realize it was only in his head. He felt as though he was going into some form of shock. His heartbeat hammered in his head, breath coming in small, fast bursts, and his stomach churned, but none of this chaos showed on his face. In fact, his expression seemed almost more dead than the corpse's. 

He didn't even feel the tap on the shoulder, or when Pacca placed his hand there. Only when the manipulator spoke did he react, flinching like he'd been struck and turning around slowly, eyes blank. "Okay? ... Yeah... yeah I'm okay," he said robotically. After a moment, he gently brushed Pacca's hand off his shoulder and stood stiffly, one hand resting against his own stomach. He felt dizzy, nauseous, and he stumbled toward the trash can against the wall of the cafeteria. 

Gripping the sides of the can shakily, he leaned over it, staring into its depths. A cold sweat gripped him, and he trembled almost violently and squeezed his eyes shut. He might... was he going to...? He gritted his teeth and swallowed back the wave of nausea, and then felt his legs give out underneath him and he fell to his knees, forehead pressed against the trash can's side. "I'm okay," he said again, and then again, softly, like a mantra to himself. "I'm okay... I'm okay... I'm okay..."

-

Pacca had seen death too many times before for him to be really even bothered by the scene in front of him. But something did catch his eye. 

He carefully watched Elliot back away from the group and wander off down the hall. Pacca didn’t bother looking at the scene any longer and turned to follow after Elliot, staying a good enough distance behind him just in case the boy wanted some room. He silently watched him for a short while as he sat down in the cafeteria table, but when he laid his head on his arms a pang of worry struck Pacca. A sudden realization that not everyone had seen as much as he had, hit him hard. Pacca frowned and took a few steps closer to Elliot until he was standing within arms reach of him. He hesitantly reached out and tapped Elliot’s shoulder before remembering the kindness that the boy showed him and gently placed his hand on the smaller boy’s shoulder.

"You okay?" 

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For once, Elliot didn't really want to hang around all those people. He'd seen enough already, and as the others went through their stages of shock, he didn't feel the need to be present, to see that scene and the people surrounding it.

As soon as he'd shown the others what he'd meant to show, he backed away from the door quietly, turning to trek down the hallway, hands shoved into his pockets, his head ducked. His expression was carefully blank. Somehow, his memory still worked for him, and he didn't have to take out his maps to remember the way to the cafeteria. It should be pretty empty right now and, as he pushed his way into the area, he discovered that it was. 

Picking out the nearest table, he slid himself into a seat, shoulders slumped. For a long minute he stared at the opposite wall before finally he hunched over further, crossing his arms on the table and laying his cheek against it, closing his eyes. 

He let out a shuddering breath. 

At least it was quiet in here. 

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"Oh." If you were really good at reading people, you might have noticed a hint of sadness in that 'oh', as Pacca scooted a bit away from him. He took the cup back now, cradling it in his hands, and he looked down into it, tilting the cup a bit, watching the remaining water swirl around. 

"I think... Everyone should be kind to everyone," he said slowly, his voice soft. "I know that's not how it is, but..." he shrugged. If he, by himself, could put a little more kindness into the world, then he was at least making something of himself, right? "I don't want to hurt anyone..."

Well, if that wasn't a big enough fuck-up

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Elliot frowned slightly. The smile only seemed to fluster and panic the boy more. Alright, so what could he do to calm this guy down? He had to think- it seemed kindness and gentleness didn't work, so what would calm him down without hurting him-

Elliot tilted his head, brows raising. "Why what?" he asked, the question confusing him. 

Well, if that wasn't a big enough fuck-up

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Slipping his arm behind Pacca's shoulders, he helped lift the boy up to a seated position, handing him the cup of water and moving his hair out of his face again. Noticing the look on the metal manipulator's face, Elliot gave a little laugh, and let Pacca see a slight, comforting smile for just a moment before his expression returned to its flat normalcy. 

"Don't look so scared. I'm trying to help you, not hurt you," he said gently. 

Well, if that wasn't a big enough fuck-up

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As soon as Pacca was laid down on the bed, Elliot reached out to brush a stray lock of hair out of the metal manipulator's face, tilting his head as he stared down at Pacca with an unreadable expression. "Well," he said, "Water's always a good start. I'll go get you that. Go ahead and close your eyes or sleep or something. You probably need rest. Are you hungry?" he asked, though he was already moving away to enter the bathroom attached to his room to get Pacca some water. 

Once in the bathroom, he took his cup (a plastic thing he'd found on the counter when he first came here) and filled it with cool water, bringing it back to Pacca and offering it to him. "Here, let me help you sit up so you can drink this," he reached out for Pacca's shoulders with one arm, ready to pull him into a semi-sitting position and to support him if he did choose to sit up. 

Well, if that wasn't a big enough fuck-up

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Elliot noticed Pacca flush, and the way he seemed flustered as all get-out, but he didn't say anything about it. Didn't want to upset the poor guy any more than he probably already had. Instead, he gave Pacca's hand another squeeze and led him gently toward the bed again, ready to catch him if he were to fall again. 

"I asked you this earlier but I'll do it again- do you need any water or something? I could get you food from the cafeteria if you need it. Probably." 'Probably' because he would have to make sure he remembered the way to the cafeteria. If he could, he could get them both something to eat, and they could share a meal here in his room. 

Well, if that wasn't a big enough fuck-up

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Elliot remained silent as he watched the series of emotions flow across Pacca's expression, waiting for him to take a moment to calm down and realize that Elliot did in fact have his best interests in mind. Or at least what Elliot thought was his best interests. Elliot wasn't a doctor, but he was pretty sure resting when you're unwell was at least one best interest. 

Elliot took the curling of Pacca's fingers as a sign of this. Elliot steadily held his gaze for another long moment or two, then gave a little pull on his hand toward the bed. "I said 'come to bed', not 'stare at me like I have an extra head'," he said gently. "Standing and staring are not going to help you get some much needed rest."

Well, if that wasn't a big enough fuck-up