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‘He loved you.’ She nodded, “Yes, he did. But, he didn’t love himself. He saw himself as a bad guy, a guy who destroyed the good and ruined everything in his path. So, he forced himself to do just that. To ruin us, destroy what we had.’ ‘Would you go back?’ ‘Yes.’ Because as sick as it was, even if he chose to break her again, she would do anything to have him one more time.

g.m. ‡ tales that weren’t meant to be told #14 (via intrusicn)

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Big Little Lies (TV Mini-Series 2017– )

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bowie & tusca: ( can't find chase in a crowd )

bowie: ( uses hands as a microphone ) TUSCA & BOWIE AIN'T SHIT

chase: ( from across the room ) SAY THAT ONE MORE TIME I'M HERE TO THROW HANDS!!

tusca: ah there he is.

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              I FEEL like a part of my soul has loved you 

                      since the beginning of EVERYTHING.

             MAYBE we’re from the same star.

♕ ⟶  blood & shadows // alena and bowie

                     ❛ the platonic soul mate ❜

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           BRUISED KNUCKLES rap once, twice, three times against the familiar wooden door— HE HOPES she doesn’t ask what the discoloration is from, because he really can’t remember what (or who) he’s punched hard enough recently  to leave marks like those.         ❛ RA, room check, ALENA MORGAN——open the FUCK up! ❜ a beaming grin pulls at the corners of his lips, the intro is more of an announcement of his presence than permission to enter. pushing past the door, he lets himself into her dorm room with all the cozy comfort in the world. the grin multiplies into a shit-eating beam, genuinely GLOWING at the sight of the brunette once he locates her in the tiny room. ❛ now that i’ve broken and entered unexpectedly, aren’t you HAPPY to see this face? ❜

           he won’t DENY that he’s been looking forward to this night in with her; while the pair was nearly inseparable, he never seemed to TIRE of the female’s comforting presence. bowie’s adoration (equal parts admiration and gratitude) for alena was undeniable—— they shared MORE in common than the male could have ever anticipated. both were calloused and harsh, trying to push past it— both had  C R U E L N E S S  within them, as it was all either of them had ever known ; but it was this mutual understanding between them that transcended any other difference they could have known. alena was bowie’s moral compass, he was her warm embrace free of judgement. TOGETHER—— the combination of a lifetime. 

           ❛ some poor kid dropped their keycard outside and the RA didn’t even NOTICE that he’s never seen me around. THANKS to whoever’s about to be locked out for the night. ❜ the BOOMING laugh that leaves his body practically vibrates the room, a gentle glowing BUZZ filling it to the brim. there was a  l i g h t n e s s  to alena’s presence, SANGUINE despite both their pessimistic dispositions, a change in vibration that bowie relished. he directs her attention to the plastic bag slinging from his fingers— within it, a various assortment of brightly-labeled items, all of them SURPRISINGLY legal. ❛ as a gift, i bring a bottle of rosé and some pink lemonade with a WHOLE-ASS collection of snacks and facemasks. it’s getting cold as fuck and i’m NOT trying to be out and about with cracked lizard skin—— and i care too much about you to let you fall VICTIM to it either. ❜ 

                            @svcredblood

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SPIRIT.

                           LATE  AT  NIGHT,  yet  brunette  remains  wide  awake         not  a  blink  of  sleep.  too  much  on  mind  from  the  hectic  day,  &  she  can  only  release  a sigh.  unsure  if  it’s  from  exhaustion  or  irritation         both  good  options.  rolling  over  on  side,  she  notices  her  phone  light  up.  normally,  melanie  would  ignore  whatever  caller  it  was,  but  tonight  she  was  PRACTICALLY  expecting  a  call.  the  caller  ID  showing  just  who  popped  into  her  mind;  BOWIE.  arm  reaches  out  to  grab  the  object,  pathetically fast          she  feels  ashamed.  ashamed  of  the  effect  he  had  on  her,  &  almost  how  NEEDY  she  was  when  it  came  to  him.   to  make  up  for  that,  she  lets  it  ring  a  little  longer  before  picking  up.

                            A  SINGLE,  short  breath  is  her  answering call.  showing  she  was  THERE  for  whatever  he  needed,  though  she  wasn’t  ready  to  fully  talk  to  him.  it  was  constant  circles  for  her  &  it  was  KILLING  her.  yet,  remains  right  by  his  side  through  everything.  it  was  GAMES  &  she  was  letting  herself  get  played.   his  voice  fills  her  ears  &  she  knows  the  drill.  head  falls in  her  hand,  phone  pressed  to  her  ear.  his  tone  causes  brunette  to  BRACE HERSELF  &  she  can  feel  the  hurt  from  a  measly  comment.  HER  FAULT  ?  ❝  don’t  block  me,  ❞  a  whisper,  sounding  far  too close  to  a  BEG  &  she  can  only  shake  her  head  at  herself.  the  second  sigh  of  the  night  is  released.  YOU  SHOULD  HAVE  ME  BLOCKED.   boy,  has  she  HEARD that.  &  she  knows  it  too,  but  can  never  bring  herself  to  actually  do  it.   ❝   what  if  you  need  me   ?    ❞   almost  positive  he’s  hardly  listening,  yet  she’s  responding.  

                            ❝   BOWIE,  IT’S  LATE.  ❞  her  way  of  fighting  what  he  wants,  though  she  knows  she’ll cave  far  too  quickly.  it  wasn’t  healthy.  it’s  almost  a  bad  addiction.  ❝   i  don’t  know  if  i  should.  ❞   bottom  lip  is  met  between  her  teeth  as  she  thinks  over  her  next  words.  DESPERATELY  wanting  to  be  with  him  &  knowing  she  shouldn’t  was  her  constant  struggle.   her  mind  telling  her  NO  was  never  sufficient.    ❝   do  you  have  a  ride  home   ?   i  can  call  tusca,  or  chase,   and  see  if  either  of  them  can  pick  you  up  &  get  you  home  SAFELY.    ❞

        THE WAY MEL’S VOICE makes his heart thud against his ribs is a secret he will take to his gave. ❛ you know i could NEVER block you. ❜ the response is TOO quickly after she’s spoken, the laugh he laughs is TOO devoid of humor—— even his impaired state knows he’s making a  F O O L of himself, with how desperate he’s coming across. a snort escapes him ; he figures if he’s already on the DECLINE, he might as well respond with some indication of his self-awareness. ❛ you’ve made me too WEAK for that shit. ❜ there’s a pause, his breaths slow and just barely audible over the phone— he’s almost certain mel can hear the moment he just GIVES up. ❛ i ALWAYS need you .... you keep me from consuming myself. ❜

         another pause, and his voice HARDENS momentarily—— he’s knows pleading at this point, the SIGH gives it away. ❛ YOU KNOW why i’m calling, melanie. ❜ it’s only ever in his drunken state he calls her by her full name. a part of him is convinced that it’ll help her take him more seriously even when he’s wasted, even IF that couldn’t be further from the truth. it almost ANGERS him that she wants to deflect him towards his two best friends. ❛ if i wanted tuck or chase, i would have called them. I DIDN’T, ❜ he snips, though it’s softer than what she knows he’s capable of. bowie is helplessly defenseless, and he feels PATHETIC for the way he’s practically groveling for her. he knows he’ll fucking hate himself in the morning, IF he remembers any of it. he’s already teetering on the edge—— and in his world, mel donaghue is the only person his PRIDE is worth sacrificing for. pink tongue darts out to wet his lips, a quiet sight soon following. ❛ it’s always fucking you. ❜

         ❛ i SHOULDN’T keep doing this to you, ❜ he laughs, and it’s a disbelieving laugh that trails off into a full-on GROAN. he hates the misconception that he doesn’t know how much better max is for her than he is, he hates the FACADE he puts up as if it doesn’t bother him— which, as shown by tonight, it fucking DOES. ❛ it’s disgusting how bad i am to you. QUIT taking me back. ❜ the BITE in his words is too bittersweet to be completely playful, something he notes immediately. ❛ i’m going to test you—— READY? ❜ his tone lightens, he’s smiling lazily down at the concrete holding up his tired body folded beneath him. bowie KNOWS she’s probably exhausted by his games, but he figures another one won’t hurt— besides, if she makes the RIGHT choice, it’ll mean they’re learning from their mistakes. (or at least, SHE’S learning.)

         ❛ melanie kay donaghue, i have an inexplicable TENDERNESS for you, and you know that. i’m asking, KINDLY, for you to come and get me. ❜ there’s something unrecognizable in his voice, an unfamiliar heaviness in his throat, it nearly drives him crazy until he places it— it’s the feeling of UNCERTAINTY and he fucking HATES it. ❛ i’m KIIIIIINDA fucked up, and i miss you, and we both know me admitting that out loud feels like acid corroding my throat because of reasons we choose to  I G N O R E. ❜ another dry laugh to punctuate his statement. ❛ it’s YOUR test, mel. you can come get me, OR you can choose not to— the only thing i ask is that you please, PLEASE, don’t leave me somewhere in the middle. i can’t handle anymore in-betweens— tonight has been long ENOUGH. ❜

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                  ❛ TEMPEST— a violent, brutal windstorm. ❜ four shots into the night and not the slightest bit wobbly. the soft lull of a late night pool party was an environment bowie felt more than comfortable in—— perhaps a bit TOO comfortable, if he was approaching ZEKE TEMPEST  H I M S E L F  as if they were friends. the intention to cause trouble is scrawled clearly across the golden boy’s smirking face, but then again— when wasn’t it? ❛ i’m SO curious as to how you lucked out to have that as your name. ezekiel tempest. quite the ASCRIPTIVE surname, wouldn’t you agree? ❜ they’re not friends. they’re nearly as far from it as two people could get. but there bowie stands, basking in his own hubris, setting himself up to try and push every button zeke will give him access to. ❛ i dunno man. i tend to overthink menial things like that. it’s amusing how much i underthink though. ❜

                a SHRUG rolls off his shoulders. bowie’s words leave his mouth as if he doesn’t even think about them— it’s a curiosity to find that the hedonist himself actually mulls over every syllable he allows to leave his tongue. ❛ like the moment your brother just BLACKED OUT that one night? god i was outta there. zave’s a phenomenal guy but he’s still learning how to keep up with the big dogs. you’re not MAD you had to come get him at 2 AM because our crew had to dip, RIGHT ? ❜

                he doesn’t wait for a verbal response—— bowie knows what he’s seeking in zeke’s answer, and it’s less about what he  S A Y S and more about what he  D O E S. ❛ see, i figured you wouldn’t be. from what i understand, that’s what brothers do. ❜ the shorter male makes it a point to never break eye contact, one of his more UNNERVING habits.  ❛ not that i’d know. my brothers and i spent whole childhoods trying to absolutely torment each other. although, i’m pretty sure once i got big enough they realized who was in charge; changing the power dynamic was pretty easy, even as the youngest. ❜ 

                and then there’s that  S H I F T , the way his eyes brighten and his smile only multiplies in size. THIS is what bowie’s been working towards, THIS is what he wants to work zeke up over. ❛ i bet you know ALL about that, overpowering people, don’t you? i can see it in your eyes, tempest. ❜ this is what he lives for, that PUSH, knowing he’s finding someone’s edge and seeing just how far he can take them until they begin to lose their balance.  ❛ i literally wouldn’t be pissed if you punched me right now. I MEAN—— i’d punch you right back, and make you look like a monster in front of all these people, but it really wouldn’t ruin  M Y  personal opinion of you. c’mon, I IMPLORE YOU. ❜

              @thndrs

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              ❛ YOU KNOW, pretty soon this’ll be your job. picking up the leisure activity while i tend to other matters. you’re really outdoing yourself, zappy, you’re making me INCREDIBLY proud. ❜

            fingers tap around  A I M L E S S L Y  on his screen, the light of the phone dimly illuminating the car’s interior. bowie’s not particularly fond of having to follow speed limits on busy toronto streets. it makes sense for him to hand the keys over to the younger of the tempest brothers so he himself can lounge in the passenger’s seat. the luxury car is another replaceable item in bowie’s brain, letting zave drive it is no big deal. after all, he’s less concerned with HOW he gets to where he wants to be, and more enthralled with exactly WHAT’S waiting for the pair at the end of their trip.

           a tattooed finger waves carelessly over in zave’s direction, cerulean hues fixated on the screen. ❛ LEFT at this light, ❜ he directs, gaze never leaving the phone. xavier tempest has a favorable light shone on him in bowie’s world, obviously a light that’s subject to change at any given moment— BUT HEY, it’s a start.  ❛ i know you’re not a seasoned fella in the art of the inconspicuous shipment, i know guys like you get all their shit handed to them. a ‘snap your fingers’ kinda guy. ❜ it’s a compliment, the way the golden-haired male phrases it, pearly whites BARED happily in a grin. ❛ i’ll show you the ropes. ❜ 

           he wads through a stack of bills in his pocket, feeling the paper between his fingers to ensure he has enough PLUS a little gift. he throws a wink in zave’s direction, knowing his protege could  V E R Y  easily get cold feet at any second—— although, he trusts zave won’t.   ❛ BE CHILL, alright? it’s nothing like what you see in the movies. i’ve known this group of hooligans for years. if anything seems off to you just say so. you’ll enjoy it though, they’re a FRIENDLY group, to say the least. ❜

                    @sparkplugzave

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           ❛ JUNEBUG, no—— C’MON, look at me. ❜ disbelief strewn across his sharp features, the male squints at his current companion. ❛ you’re really gonna argue that school uniforms are a bad idea? i went to a fancy private school and i  L O V E D  wearing uniforms. i don’t care who you are, a blazer makes anyone feel snazzy. it was nice and organized, and i didn’t have to worry about what i was going to wear each day. ❜

          it’s an odd, MEANINGLESS conversation topic, but one he chose to pursue nonetheless. he’s not nearly drunk enough to fixate on a different topic, THIS had been his debate of choice. god knows whether it was him or june that brought it up, or even WHY it had been brought up at a party no less. what’s more is bowie’s unsettling ability to remain completely  U N N E R V E D  by even the most un-ideal conditions, and act as if nothing is wrong. maybe he’s gifted at redirecting his stress response, or maybe he just genuinely does not care about the fact they’re currently hiding in the SHOWER of a random party house. it’s not bowie’s first time being copped out, god no, he even finds a perverse curiosity in seeing if he can evade the authorities in all their attempts to find him. he knows as long as june stays calm and follows bowie’s lead, they’ll be able to climb down into the backyard as soon as the cops head inside and ESCAPE without a trace— or at least, that’s the plan.

           ❛ ALSO. ❜ the grin on his face immediately signals bad news. bowie has a talent for inconveniencing those in his immediate vicinity WITHOUT FAIL. ❛ i have a federally prosecutable amount of LSD in a baggie in my pants right now. so, us NOT getting caught is of the utmost importance. ❜

                   @crepscule

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    brother,

              you bury me and i’ll bury you, but we’ll never BURN each other

    brother,

            the only way you’re  L E A V I N G  this world tonight is with ME by your side.

    brother,

            come HEAVEN or come HELL , i’ll share it with you.

    brother,

            we’ll  n e v e r  be alone, not when we have each OTHER.

                              @metalllc @infervo

♕ ⟶  wrath, greed, and pride // chase, tusca, and bowie                      ❛ the unholy trinity ❜

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Destruction can be beautiful to some people. Don’t ask me why. It just is. And if they can’t find anything to destroy, they destroy themselves.

John Knowles (via wordsnquotes)

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You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.

Albert Camus, The Fall (via wordsnquotes)