shy-forceghost

[shy-forceghost]

*Twirls my hair* Torturing your characters all by yourself queen?

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so hard not to become the most annoying person on earth if you're a little excitable and just learned a little about a topic literally no one around you has any interest in

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Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction

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well yeah i have a pet hydra and it only has one head. i'm not going to cut its head off just to make it look cooler, you asshole. that's seriously unethical. and i'm not letting you cut its head off either. if you really want a hydra with multiple heads, you should go for a rescue- but if you want your pet to look cooler at the cost of its physical health, maybe you shouldn't get any kind of pet at all. no, the hydra's not for guarding my evil tower, it's my pet. have you ever heard of a pet? like a puppy or a kitty? you think i can't defend my evil tower by my self?

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moving into a non-abelian accommodation such that you don't have to commute

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surprise prompt #101! inspired by this post and the fact that 100 isn't the end, just the beginning <3 thank you so much everyone!

Beatrice finds the tally marks on accident, Ava having left her journal open on the kitchen counter that morning. A part of Ava wonders if she'd done it intentionally, a part of her - the part that's her - wanting Beatrice to find out. 

They're small, pressed in pen into the inside cover. She has but a vague memory of when they'd bought it, remembers at least that it was from the stationary store across the street from the bar in the Alps, that it always had those cute animal stickers. Something about ducks. The memories are hazy but the tally marks are clear, the clearest thing Ava has - of the life she used to have. 

She knows what they look like. She'd meant for the marks to be a reminder of the life she's living now - that she'd made it back, even if her memories weren't completely intact - but it's not lost on her that they also like the marks prisoners scratch into their cell walls when they've been detained; caged. 

"I keep waiting," Ava tries to explain, once the grief has slipped from Beatrice's face, once both their hands have stopped shaking, "For things to feel more familiar, to go back to the way they were." 

She shakes her head, unable to look Beatrice in the eye. "But I'm not the same, Bea. I'm not the Ava you knew."

"That's okay."

"No, it's not -"

"Ava." 

Beatrice's voice is quiet and full of earnestness and it makes Ava sigh; makes her finally look up. Begins to tremble at the tenderness in Beatrice's gaze. 

"I don't care if you've changed," Beatrice says, her words soft and sure. "Just let me get to know you again."

It's things like this that make Ava feel unmoored - because it's unfounded, the way Beatrice looks at her. What has Ava done to deserve the depth of such devotion, the fierceness of such loyalty? 

She sees echoes of it in the others too and it makes her chafe - because it's not for her, not really. These people, these relationships, were all for her, for who she was before. 

But just as there's a before, there's always an after. 

Beatrice doesn't bring up the marks after, doesn't pull back at all - if anything, she pulls Ava forward even more fully. And it's not just her - it's a concerted effort made by all of them. Outings with Camila, Lilith grousing behind them; experiments with Jillian at the lab; walks with Mother Superion; crashing restaurants with Mary; everything and anything with Bea. 

It's a life that's normal, a life that's new - where there's always something to do, to go, to see, to break, to fix - and even Ava has to admit that it's a gift, to relearn the wonders of the world; to see things through new eyes.

*  

Before Ava knows it, the marks reach triple digits. 

Day 100 is nothing special - but in a way, it's the nothing of it that makes it so. She folds the laundry while Beatrice is out for a run, joins her for a shower, joins their hands when they go for a walk and linger together at their favorite cafe. In the evening, she logs on to play a game with Camila while Beatrice pretends not to be critiquing their strategies. Curls up against Beatrice's side before going to sleep. 

The next day is more of the same, with the exception of their weekly brunch. Ava's too groggy to notice when they're not shown to their usual table and led instead into a private area in the back. It's not until she's stepped nearly into the middle of the room that she sees what they've done to it. 

The walls are covered in all sorts of memorabilia - photos of all sizes, printed out song lyrics, drunkenly signed receipts - all of them annotated with either an anecdote or a number: coffee number 89 and spill 34; meme number 15, made up lyric number 72. 

Hundreds of them. Hundreds with them. 

Evidence: of a life they've built together; a life lived - and living still.

Ava laughs and cries because of course she does, now. Exchanges hugs with everyone and when they all sit down to eat, it's Beatrice who stands to make a quiet toast. "To day 101," she says, smiling as always at Ava, "The first of the next 100." 

The rest raise their glasses in response: "To the next."

[shy-forceghost]

i have this unrealistic fantasy in my head where if you calmly and logically explain something to someone perfectly they will understand your position and gain knowledge from the exchange. unfortunately in the real world this does not happen often

[shy-forceghost]

How to Emotionally Destroy Readers

✩ Gut-punches are about timing. You don't say “I love you” during the sunset. You say it in the middle of a burning building or right after they stab you.

✩ A single line of dialogue like “you were supposed to come back” hits harder than an entire page of poetic mourning.

✩ Don’t just break their hearts, break their sense of identity. Make them question who they are, what they stand for, and if it was ever worth it (That’s premium pain.)

✩ Let someone be forgiven… but not trusted again. That's the kind of heartbreak that lingers like smoke.

✩ Sometimes the most devastating line is the one they don’t say. Silence is a character too.

✩ Give them a moment of joy. Right before everything falls apart. Hope makes the fall hurt more.

✩ Someone saying “I forgive you” through tears? Powerful. Someone saying “I still love you but I can’t stay”? Absolutely soul-shattering.

✩ If they die, don’t describe the death. Describe the aftermath. The coat left hanging by the door. The mug still on the table. The dog waiting.

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sweaty

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the cruel choice between pdf (free) vs physical copy (annotatable)

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“They can’t beat us, Bea. Not together.”

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Darkest Hour, Chapter 10

Look, she's alive!

(unlike Ava 😬)

New chapter just dropped, hope you like it!

[shy-forceghost]

"these will help you! however there are lots of side effects that you will probably still have after 3 years on them!"

the side effects:

insomnia (hellooooo melatonin)

hypersomnia (at the same fucking time)

memory loss

strange dreams

loss of appetite

increase in appetite

significant weight loss and then weight gain

lower sodium levels

easy bruising

increased bleeding

blurred vision

double vision

fever

sore throat

seizures

headaches

more anxiety

more pain

more nausea

dry mouth

more sweating

hot flashes

tremors

loss of coordination

sore back

and so much other shit

[shy-forceghost]

💘