shyleviathan

[shyleviathan]

hold the fuck up why did no one tell me former idol chae ryujin came out as a trans woman last week

[shyleviathan]

People be like "I wish dragons were real, I'd love to have a pet dragon, I wanna be a dragon rider" but then call horses demonic and chaotic and evil, like, mate, if you can't handle a horse you prolly couldn't handle a dragon. A dragon is just a scaly carnivorous horse.

[shyleviathan]

Greek Nathan's foot long Yogurt Hot Dogs

[shyleviathan]

𝙻𝙰𝙸𝙺𝙰 𝚃𝙾 𝙶𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙻 — I miss you , Have I told you that yet?

[shyleviathan]

today is the best day of my life because it is the day I learned that in french they call wile e. coyote and roadrunner cartoons "bipbip et le coyote".

[shyleviathan]

What's the process if you're a superhero and you come out as trans

Do you tell your villains?

Do you keep it a secret so no one can connect Spider-Man with your secret identity for a while? Or do you pop a pronouns pin on your costume and the next time you web up Doctor Octopus and he goes "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME SPIDER-MAN" you go "Spider-Girl actually! I've been figuring out some shit"

[shyleviathan]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[shyleviathan]

[shyleviathan]

HEORSHE 😍

[shyleviathan]

I just don't think that there's this big majority of happy "neurotypicals" who aren't at all bothered by working a crappy full-time job just to barely afford a room in a shitty apartment in a world that gets scarier by the day and doesn't leave much time OR money for either connection, rest, self care or hobbies. Like I think that's a myth we are being sold to shame us into acting like we're fine too actually for as long as we possibly can

[shyleviathan]

working with little kids is so dangerous. you get one kid who has a unique way of speaking & then spend the rest of your life with an internal monologue like “me’s go bathroom?”

[shyleviathan]

my white ass is not immune to the nostalgia of viva la vida by coldplay

[shyleviathan]

Just started reading Sherlock Holmes and all the adaptations are wrong. This man is a delight. He gets excited about hemoglobin and is ecstatic at the thought of Watson as a roommate. He purposefully forgets how the solar system works so he has more room in his brain for crime. He shows Watson the dirt stains on his trousers and he can tell what part of London they come from based on color and consistency. (As far as i can tell Watson didn't ask, Sherlock just gets back from walks and tells Watson about the stains unprompted.) The text specifically says "Holmes was certainly not a difficult man to live with." Why does every adaptation make him unpleasant and rude, he's literally just eccentric. He's such a goober, I love him.

[shyleviathan]

my ancestors seeing me shrug off a diarrhea session

[shyleviathan]

This scientist crafts stunning visual art through chemistry.

[shyleviathan]

every writer has That One Scene that lives in their head rent-free but they can’t write it yet because “the vibes aren’t ripe”

[shyleviathan]

The best piece of advice I ever got was not meant as advice, but as an edict. If I was going to threaten people as a joke, it had to be so far out of proportion with what happened that it would be obvious I was joking. This changed how I expressed frustration with others. It then changed how I expressed frustration with myself.

Not “I’m going to hit you” but “I am going to buy a tuna sub from the gas station and hide it under the seat of your car”

Not “I’m going to kill myself” but “I am going to walk into the desert and let the scarabs take me”

The other side then happened. When I mess something up, instead of saying it’s bad and perpetuating negative thoughts, swing hard the other way.

Not “this art is terrible” but “this shall be framed and mounted on the wall in my museum exhibition as testament to the suffering I had to overcome”

Have been doing this since high school. It was my drama teacher who asked me to please stop scaring the actors. The other half of the edict was that I had to say it in a polite tone, and end it with either please or thank you.

Life changing. 10/10 Mr Muëller. Highly reccomend.