shythingbailiffbagel-blog - Tumblr blog

shythingbailiffbagel-blog · 6 years

Text

Petulant, this word lingers in my head as I try to reconcile the reason why I let someone treat me the way he did. We met during my last semester of college through a dating app, it’s fair to say that wasn’t my brightest decision, but what can I say, I was and still am an emotional mess with needs to be satisfied and a lifelong hunger for “true love”. Let me tell you this, when it comes to love I am a hopeless romantic, as devoted as a puppy dog is to his human when it comes to love and relationships. You’ll get a better idea of this later.

Going on a date with someone you’ve met online is a complete Pandora box as some may already know, and of course I decided to be a few minutes late as somehow in today’s society this means a lack of interest, which is good.. in the “dating” world. There he was waiting for me, at one of the few appropriate places you should meet a stranger at, a bar. Because you never know who could turn out to be a serial killer, not that being under the influence of alcohol will help you escape that unfortunate situation in any way. Moving in, to my surprise he was charming and thoughtful but who isn’t when they want something, I think that’s just survival of the fittest. Of course I immediately fell in love with this guy as I am prone to so easily and have about a dozen times already, people say you only fall in love once but for me that’s foreign. Every guy I’ve been in a relationship with has had my undivided love and faithfulness, so you can get a picture of it, I’ve been ready to make myself a living shield to protect them, jump out of a moving car, leave everything and follow them, you get the point, these are some pretty depressing facts anyway. Truth only here.

I’m writing this to maybe help someone who might be in the same unlucky situation I was or still am technically, I mean when is it ever over.. who am I kidding. But the point is I wish I had never let things happen the way they did because the effects of letting someone harmful in your life will always be disastrous, as it’s been for me. Here I leave with you some of the very important lessons I have learned through my failed love stories.

First and foremost, stop looking for someone, I have spent the majority of my life looking for a man, looking for love, searching in all kinds of places for someone to develop a deep connection with and honestly all I fished out was bad fish, because like it or not things happen when you least expect. Looking is a true mistake, at least it has been for me.

Secondly don’t be as devoted and faithful to anyone as you should be to yourself, you owe it to yourself, nobody is going to treat you and care about you as well as you can treat you. I’ve spent years of my life putting men before me, tending to their physical and emotional needs before mine, this has drained me and I have nothing to show for it. Maybe you think duh, you are so crazy, we know not to act a fool like that but anyone can make these mistakes when you fall in love. It took me a long time to realize that I was never going to be a priority for the men I’ve given my heart and time to, even when they were in my top priorities.

Third lesson, don’t consent to something you don’t think you can handle or do just to avoid hurting someone’s feelings. My now ex would guilt me into thinking I was so immature and childish just because I told him I could not be his friend after the break up. For me, my heart couldn’t handle the stress and complications of being his friend and keeping in touch because I was still in love, but I agreed to being his friend anyway. This guy never wanted to truly be my friend, he didn’t care about the stress and turmoil it caused me so what I’m saying is you need to be able to just say no and not look back. Because they won’t compensate you for the damage you will suffer.

Another thing I’ve learned, don’t continue to give chances to people when they continue to not take you seriously, or the things you say. There’s no such excuse as “I was so busy I didn’t catch what you were saying” or “so stressed lately, sorry I didn’t see your messages” etc etc etc. there’s no excuse when you’ve said the same thing over and over but no change has taken place. They playing, and I was a fool to accept excuses but I don’t anymore and neither should you.

Numero five, stop REPLYING!!! Stop texting back, seriously... they are just playing. I once gave this friend this piece of advice that I repeated to myself for over six months after breaking up with my ex, if they wanted to be with you they would be, if they loved you they would have stayed. And I’m the cases where you don’t hear from them at all here is this, if they missed you or wanted you they would call, text, and reach out definitely definitely.

Don’t believe the lies, my ex would reach out and say he was thinking about me, missed me and we would set up a time to see each other(sooo stupid, don’t do it) and then when we saw each other he wasn’t excited, all jumpy or even all that into me or into doing much of anything with me. So cut the fuckers off, because they just playing. This is all based on my personal experience but I believe these are common behavior of fuckboys or fuckgirls, they have those too.

0 notes