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extremely normal life update

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god i wish people still talked about haruhi suzumiya

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they should pay me for being funny & awesome and cool and a god at writing homestuck fanfiction. it's not fair

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pony town is really good guys

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ADHD is the dumbest fucking illness ever conceived. like, i LIKE my job. it's stressful but i LIKE it, i like working there, and having a job has improved my mental health so much because there is a good chunk of the day where i cannot spiral, and when i get home i'm far too tired to as well. executive dysfunction means i can't force myself to make meals, so having a (good) lunch given to me for free every day (provided i'm not allergic to it, which is a good third of the time) is making me feel a lot better. same deal with being on my feet for a while instead of bedrotting while i write, and same deal with having to talk to strangers the whole time and my social anxiety. AND i get paid. like, this is an objective Good.

but it doesn't give me the Chemical so it's literal torture and i need to quit now. thank you stupid baka brain.

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why is it that i am only Me when i am doped up on unhealthy amounts of Stimulants?

science explain

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anyway, for the sake of covering all bases, i think it's really important to have a post i can point to as to what absopro actually fucking is, until i'm ready to release it.

ABSOLUTION PROGRAM, commonly shortened to absopro, is a 2012 multimedia webcomic about some kids in a fucked up, surreal magic users' society that make deals with demons for magic powers in return for fighting aliens. the absolution program, as it's termed, is intended for teens and young adults who feel trapped in their current life situation, for one reason or another, as a way of "redeeming" themselves. ABSOLUTION PROGRAM: 13th Anniversary Edition, however, is the true story at play here: AP13AE (as is shortened when distinction is necessary) is a character study of its (deceased) author lucas through the lens of the comic. it has multiple layers of narrative: in-universe, popular fanfic writer turned official absopro team member ghoulishtemperance has taken it upon himself to archive the webcomic as it existed pre-death of flash and recreate it while also adding real-world context and his own commentary when appropriate. the result is typically the webcomic itself being sandwiched in between the author's own commentary, the state of the fandom at the time, and GT's own interpretation of what the fuck is going on. why is this necessary? because lucas is a fucking murderer.

despite the other, surviving author's assertions, absopro does contain wild amounts of subtext about lucas's moral philosophy that can't be ignored. this is why the comic is so polarizing. as the story goes on, GT realizes this is true and wonders if it's right for the team to continue on with a murderer's comic. is it okay to still be a fan of lucas's work, even if he's not hurting anyone anymore?

as for absopro itself, it does seem unassuming at first glance. it's not a deconstruction of mahou shoujo or even a dark mahou shoujo, but a very earnest one that just happens to have darker things in it. while Being a Magic User absolutely sucks, the comic tends to shrug this off as a "yeah, it just be like that." and focuses more on the systemic abuses perpetuated both by the society and the real-world society that pushes these kids into thinking their only option of turning their life around is becoming a magic user.

the first two parts, written by lucas himself, focuses on the main team and their struggles with completing their first few missions and becoming "official" magic users, until something goes completely awry and exposes them to how corrupt the society is. the third part, released ten years after the comic's indefinite hiatus, shows them just what happens when you dare to question it. also, the main villain is a tumblr sexyman and totally not a self insert of lucas. that's probably relevant.

i sure hope GT doesn't fuck up the chapter chronology or anything. that would suck.

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oh yeah true

freddy's in there

work is thematically like FNAF4. listen to calls on the world's quietest landline (risking jumpscare), defend yourself from those attacking from the front (some require you to get up and leave your position vulnerable), check the voice mail every so often or else you'll get jumpscared by pissed off old people

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i don't know why i put effort into this but

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ok! so i've finished season 1 and yeah, i'd say 8/10 is what i'd give it. it's a very solidly written story, so the point dockings are -1 for the two fanservice scenes of nanoha (they weren't egregious but i still didn't need to see that) and -1 because i don't find it very mahou shoujo-y. that's a *personal preference* and not a mark against the show itself-- not every mahou shoujo needs to fit my standards. but hey, my personal rating system, my rules.

potential spoilers ahead, i dunno. i feel like it's kinda pointless for a 20 year old show but what the hell.

anyway! the ending was, in fact, good. really good. the fate calling nanoha's name scene, the ribbon trading, my aching heart. (kinda makes me wonder if the ribbons at the end of madoka were a reference?) precia's arrest was fucking heartwrenching, yo. fate is a really well done victim of child abuse, and it hurt (in a good way!) watching her call out to her mom one last time and just get hit with an "i've always hated you." good shit. i love the dynamic between arf trying to protect fate from her mother and fate just not hearing any of it because she believes her mother was nice to her in the past. and precia herself is a nice, complex (if extremely hateable) villain-- there is no way she was as kind as she claims she was to alicia, all i'm sayin'.

i guess my main "complaint", if you could call it that, is it feels like the pacing is a little fast at times. i dunno, it's probably just me, but i really would've loved to have a few more episodes of nanoha doing the mahou shoujo thing before fate shows up. i know it's more of a plot-driven show, but i wanted to know more about the magic system via watching nanoha figure it out. a lot of the worldbuilding feels a bit too soft, and sometimes i can't really tell what the characters are capable of because of it. makes it a little hard to tell what the logical plot connections are. that, and it feels like nanoha gets a little less development than fate. i'm left with a strong feeling of "i like these characters and want to see more", which, hey, good thing there's more seasons after this.

anyway having finished my utena rewatch (it's just so peak....) i've finally (FINALLY) gotten around to smile precure and nanoha and i fear the latter might be peak

will give a more detailed writeup of my thoughts when i finish season 1 and get a start on A's but i'm thinking a strong 8/10 on my personal rating scale barring the possibility of a fuckass ending

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anyway having finished my utena rewatch (it's just so peak....) i've finally (FINALLY) gotten around to smile precure and nanoha and i fear the latter might be peak

will give a more detailed writeup of my thoughts when i finish season 1 and get a start on A's but i'm thinking a strong 8/10 on my personal rating scale barring the possibility of a fuckass ending

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work is thematically like FNAF4. listen to calls on the world's quietest landline (risking jumpscare), defend yourself from those attacking from the front (some require you to get up and leave your position vulnerable), check the voice mail every so often or else you'll get jumpscared by pissed off old people

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hal is going to slaughter me for this but i NEED to post this one deranged rant he went on drunk at 4 AM one time

Hello everyfucker, insomniac Hal here. So the second Meep episode of Phineas and Ferb happened because of fan demand, right? Were there fucking Phineas and Ferb fan forums biting their fingers off for the chance to see this randomass character again? Where do people like this congregate even? This is actually killing me right now. I am, for perhaps the first time in my comically pitiful existence, dead serious and unironic. Please fucking help.

hal was like "You need to post that deranged vore rant you went on last night." and well gosh he's right. so.

ahem.

do you know what's fucking stupid about vore art?

they'll have a character (let's call him A) in another character's (B) stomach and B will be like Golly gosh darn gee A! You taste stupendous! except it's all sensual but like. he's in yuor fucking tummy you moron you've been digesting him. you don't taste shit anymore. why is it about how he tastes and not about how he feels inside your tummy. if you wanted to taste him so bad you could've just gargled his cock. and then you'd have a renewable source of the Stupendous Taste, instead of killing your golden goose like this because you GOTTA be all dramatic and eat him

I'M NOT FUCKING WRONG

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honorable mentions that didn't make the list: conspiracy theorist who thinks the magic users' society is a communist psyop, the entire society of slug aliens made of the fabric of the universe that worships a pantheon of dead gods based on a fucking fanfic, robot girl who keeps an entire arsenal of her own legs and tits on her walls, the metaphysics furry, basil hallway

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hal was like "You need to post that deranged vore rant you went on last night." and well gosh he's right. so.

ahem.

do you know what's fucking stupid about vore art?

they'll have a character (let's call him A) in another character's (B) stomach and B will be like Golly gosh darn gee A! You taste stupendous! except it's all sensual but like. he's in yuor fucking tummy you moron you've been digesting him. you don't taste shit anymore. why is it about how he tastes and not about how he feels inside your tummy. if you wanted to taste him so bad you could've just gargled his cock. and then you'd have a renewable source of the Stupendous Taste, instead of killing your golden goose like this because you GOTTA be all dramatic and eat him

I'M NOT FUCKING WRONG

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they took so long to call me back i already nailed a different fucking job in the mean time

how it feels to go outside to a job interview and pretend to be neurotypical

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i'm so tired of my body working against me on every little fucking thing. i'm not even all that depressed and i've still come to dread waking up in the morning wondering if i'm going to actually be able to get anything done or if the spontaneous heart issue i've seemingly developed i can't afford to do god damn anything about is going to do me in today

man i JUST want to post troll and i can barely even sit still long enough to finish editing yesterday's session because it hurts so!! fucking!! bad!! augh