sicklyinsanity

[sicklyinsanity]

i’m not trying to be needy

i’m just trying to live

[sicklyinsanity]

I would like to write to you but... will I disturb you? Would you be annoyed? Will I be wrong?

[sicklyinsanity]

In the end, people do things they said they would never do.

[sicklyinsanity]

everything i do is bad and wrong and terrible and evil

[sicklyinsanity]

Shut up, I know others have it worse.

I know I’m a horrible person.

I know that I deserve my poisoned mind.

I know that I’m not worth anything.

I know that I deserve everything that’s coming for my life and my throat.

I know that no one will ever want me.

I know that I’m ugly.

I know that I’ll never be loved by a stranger.

I know that I don’t deserve to complain.

I know that I’m privileged.

Goddamnit, I fucking know that I deserve these thoughts, that I deserve to die and, god, I know that I should’ve never been born to begin with.

So shut the fuck up.

[sicklyinsanity]

Leben kann so einfach sein . Leben kann so schön sein. Leben kann sich so frei anfühlen. Leben kann so aufregend werden. Wäre da nicht die stetige Angst den anderen nicht mehr zu gefallen.

[sicklyinsanity]

Would anyone miss me if i would disappear?

[sicklyinsanity]

My psychotherapist asked me today if the relationship I have with my friend benefits me.

Which hit me hard but

My answer was...

No it don't and I couldn't even hesitate.

[sicklyinsanity]

I'm just gonna cut everyone off emotionally and stop talking

[sicklyinsanity]

Ich , ich… kann nicht mehr

Liege mit Tränen im Psychiatrie Bett… neben mir liegt die Zimmer Nachbarin… und ich heule leise…

Ich pack es nicht mehr. Ich schaff das alles nicht mehr. Scheiß Fake Freunde Scheiß bf Scheiß Familie

Ich will das nicht mehr

[sicklyinsanity]

How am I supposed to keep trying when it's always one step forward and a million steps backward?

[sicklyinsanity]

One minute you’re recovering so well, feeling like life is worth living and you are worth loving. The next you are alone again, feeling 13 years old and harming yourself, reminded of why no one could ever like you in the first place. I fear I will always return back to that person…

[sicklyinsanity]

Why am i even trying?

[sicklyinsanity]

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK

[sicklyinsanity]

they invented a new low just for me

[sicklyinsanity]

"u look tired" dawg i'm going insane

[sicklyinsanity]

I'm about to contribute to some statistics