side-b-support-squad

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side b/queer abstience is dangerous. i feel empathy that you must be suffering if you believe it, but please, don't promote your viewpoints. side b theology made me suicidal for literal years before i decided that i needed to leave the church to find love. so please, don't promote this hateful belief to other vulnerable youth. delete your blog and find a non-catholic therapist

I'm sorry that trying to be side b caused you that much pain, but your experience is not everyone else's. I will not delete my blog, I will continue to promote a lifestyle that puts God at the center of our lives, I will continue to stand up for people who want to love our Lord more than our feelings. You don't have to agree with me, you have the freedom to believe living a life that glorifies God is dangerous, you have the freedom to live as you wish. But you don't have the ability to sway me from this. Block me if I bother you that much

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A post from callmemannyyy on Instagram

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"Reclaim the month!"

There is nothing to reclaim

The month is already His

You just want to make people angry

This is not how we're supposed to represent God, please understand that you're doing more harm than good by turning June into some battleground and using our Lord's Sacred Heart as a weapon to wage war instead of a tool to wage peace

He deserves better than this

In the Sacred Heart every treasure of wisdom and knowledge is hidden. In that Divine Heart beats God’s infinite love for everyone, for each one of us individually. – St. John Paul II

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Non-affirming Christian, and especially Catholic, fam:

When talking about queer issues in the church, if you are not recognizing the implications of Church teaching on sexuality a practical level, and are only contemplating those teachings in terms of abstractions, you're going to fall very short of understanding queer perspectives, values, why people believe what they do, and why people would disagree with you. It can and will make you an ineffective witness.

If the first thing you're going to is natural theology, or the symbolism of Christ and the Church in marriage, you need to pause for a second. The symbolism is beautiful, but if you're only focusing on that, you are only focusing on something that is very abstract to us all right now.

On a concrete level, non-affirming theology asks difficult things of queer people. Concretely, when it comes down to brass tacks and everyday life, you're saying that queer people:

- can feel powerful attraction and even love for another person, just like straight people feel for their own spouses, but that love cannot be expressed sexually, and possibly romantically, depending on your theology. That you can love and care for somebody so much it hurts, and even if they love you that much in return, you cannot be married and express that love in a physical or sexual way.

- cannot find companionship in marriage to certain people. In the case of those who are exclusively attracted to those of the same gender, this may be foregoing the companionship of marriage entirely. For these, it must be recognized that this may leave them with very limited options as they get older. It is absolutely possible to share a home with friends or family. However, in more individualistic societies like the United States, this becomes less available over time, as friends get married and have families of their own, and as our families age. In the United States in particular, it is normalized to prioritize only the nuclear family. Consider, that when you don't have the option to get married or have kids, you are exponentially more likely to be alone more than not. I know many straight Christians who have expressed their struggles about not being able to find a spouse. The gnawing loneliness is something that is common to that narrative. Consider that, for many of your queer audience members, that is what you are asking to them to commit to. Coming home to no one. Eating alone. Having your friends consistently be unavailable because they have families to prioritize. They have to think harder about who is their emergency contact. They have to make additional plans in case they need a medical procedure, they have car trouble, or something goes wrong, because there is not one main person or group of people that they may be living with. Finances may be tighter, because they have to rely on one person's income. Could you do that? Would you be comfortable committing to that for the rest of your life?

- in the case of asexual folks, you may be asking them to commit to the above. Or you may be asking them, in some cases, to commit to having sex that repulses them and amounts to something they have to endure in order to have a valid marriage, in spite of the fact that St Joseph and the Virgin Mary lived in abstinence for their marriage.

- for transgender folks, I want you to imagine something. Imagine the times that you have looked in the mirror and, for some reason or another, you genuinely dislike how you look that day. The person in the mirror doesn't look right. You don't connect with them - with you. The clothes aren't fitting the right way. You notice every single imperfection and thing you hate about yourself. You internalize it. But now it's your sex, an inescapable reality. For trans folks, it is so deeply, physiologically embedded that hormones can actually alleviate it. If you are not affirming regarding transition, the alternative that the person has is to potentially live with something similar for the rest of their lives. For the sake of religious beliefs, you are asking many trans folks to forego medical treatment that is very effective at reducing those feelings. You may advocate other treatments, which are often less effective. Could you commit to that for yourself?

- for everyone in this community, you are asking them to abide by beliefs espoused by people who have used those beliefs to justify hatred against them. People who regularly call them disgusting, perverts, groomers, and other slurs. People who go so far as to advocate for laws that oppress them. People who support parents who disown people like them, or people who have been disowned by their own parents for this. People who have communicated that God hates them, and their sin is uniquely heinous. People who say that even if the person wants to, they cannot be in ministry simply because of something they cannot control. People don't acknowledge the person's need for community, and support the Catholic Church's ban on openly queer people in religious life, even when they abide by the teachings of the church and believe them themselves. People who in recent history told suffering, dying, agonizing queer people that this was God's punishment for them - who would leave them alone to waste away in a hospital bed, while it was the members of the queer community who supported, loved, and cared for their physical, communal, and emotional needs.

Beyond your theories of how marriage works, or the deep symbolism it possesses, this is what you are asking on a concrete, practical, daily level.

You may say that not all religious people are like this. That you do not hate queer people, that your area is supportive. That you love the sinner and hate the sin. However, you need to realize that there are more than enough people in the Church for whom that is not true. Who do hate queer people, who do advocate for their death, who do advocate for their discrimination, who do think that God judges queer people uniquely harshly.

Would you want to be part of a community that has actively said and done these things against your own people? Would you commit to routinely being in a space where you are disrespected and often hated? Where people who don't understand one iota of what you're going through tell you all the time about the things that you're doing wrong, without bothering to lift a finger to help you?

Think about it. Seriously think about it.

Queer people are not your enemies. Many of them are not intentionally being ignorant or trying to oppress you. They are not predators. They are not shutting their ears to the truth. They are people who have experiences that you might not understand, who may have been harmed in deep ways by the religious community and by religion. The reasons they disagree with you are not trivial. The more you treat them like they are trivial, the less you will be able to say anything of value to the queer community. The less your gospel will be heard. The less Jesus will be appealing to anyone.

The gospel is the good news. Ask yourself how anything you communicate is good news for queer people.

You may reference how Jesus invited people to take up their crosses, how we were never promised an easy life on this side of eternity. I agree with that. I'm side b, so I follow traditional Church teaching.

However, you also need to consider whether or not that cross that person is bearing is their attraction/gender, or because how so many people supposed to represent God to them have instead rejected them. How many religious folks communicated God's path as one of some nightmarish, hellish vision, instead of the joy and freedom that comes in Christ. How they received insults, abuse, and hatred instead of grace, freedom, and unconditional love.

For every single demographic, religion increases rates of good mental health. Except for LGBT people, who are more likely to commit suicide when they are religious.

Is that good fruit? Is that the freedom Christ spoke about? Is that the unconditional love Christ spoke about when he said that the world will know that we are his disciples because they will see our love?

Realize, that Christ has some very harsh words for bad fruit, because any tree that bears bad for will be hewn down and cast into the fire. The tree that bears bad fruit will be the one that burns. The tree that convinces people that God hates them will be burned. The tree that displays wrath instead of peace and love and justice will be burned.

Understand, that queer people have many reasons to reject your beliefs, most of which do not fall under willful ignorance or desire to just be evil. And if they advocate for acceptance, or care about queer youth, they aren't doing it to destroy society. They're doing it because they've lived through their own hell, and they found a better way for themselves. They found a way to not feel constant self-hatred, or be ceaselessly bullied by people supposed to love them. They have found ways to join community. So, of course, they're going to advocate for that. You may have found similar things in Christ, and you want to talk about him. Consider that they might want to do the same. Maybe they want to be the person they needed when they were younger. The real travesty is that they could not find any of those things that they longed for in the Church.

Know that you represent Christ this month. And know that what you say and do will be associated with not just you, but with Jesus, and with the whole of the Church. If we act monstrously and queer people come to associate Christ and his Church with bile and hatred, the fault is not with the queer people. The fault is ours.

[side-b-support-squad]

From saltandgoldcollection on Instagram ❤️‍🔥

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A gentle reminder for us Bs as we go into June

Some people in the LGBT and the Christian communities are going to put so much emphasis on sexuality this month, judging people for not being gay enough or straight enough, but you are so much more than how you feel and God sees your effort in trying to do His will. Those people's judgements don't matter. All that matters is doing the best you can with what you have, and I think you're doing great 🤍

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Woah, hold on, how did I miss this?

The document explicitly permits gay men to enter the priesthood under the normal chastity requirements!

Article time stamped January 13, 2025.

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the thing about a lot of posts about homosexuality by Christians on here is that they are just so devoid of empathy or emotion like wow it's so clear that because this isn't a dilemma you've faced you refuse to consider that it might be difficult for people. Some of them it's like they don't even think queer Christians are people at all, just conceptual characters in their internet debate. And I'm saying this as non-affirming.

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I live in America and in Christian circles here there is a giant push towards heterosexual marriage with many people acting as though that is our primary vocation (like it's necessary in order to be holy and get to Heaven). I personally was told from a very young age that when I got older, as a Catholic woman I only had two options; marriage or being a nun. Now that I'm older I know neither of those two things are necessary to love and serve the Lord, which is our real primary vocation. And neither of those two things have to be our secondary vocation. All that to say; I was wondering,

If you don't live in America, please tell me which country you're from or currently living in if you're comfortable doing so. I'm really curious about how Christians in other countries treat marriage and holiness. Feel free to share any opinions you have on the subject, too

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side b christians ONLY: if you had the chance to push a magic button that would make your ssa and/or gender dysphoria go away immediately**, would you push the button? in the tags or replies, why or why not?

**this does not mean you become straight or gender conforming, it just means the ssa and dysphoria are gone

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Not to be that guy but it is really discouraging for people who are trying to be faithful and celibate when you act like being single is a death sentence or like something is wrong with you for not finding someone

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I don't understand something about the argument people make saying we shouldn't call ourselves gay or lgbt or anything like that because "we shouldn't label ourselves with our sins". Like, on one hand I get it, for some people that may make temptations worse and avoiding any labels is helpful for them. That's awesome! Do whatever helps you draw closer to God. On the other hand, one of our saints is literally called The Good Thief. I'd wager that a lot of Catholics don't even know his name, or at least the name the Church gave him, is Dismas. The majority of people, even the lukewarms and cafeteria Catholics, know him and call him by his sin. Because it's relevant to his story. Imagine that. Now put aside the fact that simply having same sex attraction isn't a sin, why again is it so wrong to acknowledge our reality and identify ourselves as such, if it helps us to strengthen our faith? Because it seems to me that the Church isn't against it

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I’m full of hot takes today so fine here’s another:

Christians, stop adopting labels. If you struggle with anything LGBT don’t identify yourself as such. I still struggle with attraction to women as a married woman. I don’t label myself a non-practicing bi Christian. You should never give yourself the label of your sin. We don’t call ourselves lying, thieving, lustful, angry, drunk Christians. It’s not safe to wear sin as a label.

our label as christians is Christ. That’s all. We are to put to death our old selves, not wear it as a badge.

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okay. look.

Another reason I'm leaving tumblr is because I've found it hard to engage gracefully with posts from other Christians that have seemed theologically lacking. And the biggest offender, by far, is the topic of gender identity and body dysmorphia/gender dysphoria. I finally actually know what I've been wanting to say this whole time. So I'm going to speak my peace now.

This post is directed towards fellow Christians. If you're not a Christian and you dislike what I have to say about the topic, I'm not terribly surprised about that.

If you are a Christian, and you're experiencing a severe disconnect between who you feel you are and what your body indicates to you, I need you to know firstly that I have a dim understanding of this. I have more experience with this on the Eating Disorder side of things than the Gender Identity side, though I've experienced a smattering of that too throughout my life. I suspect the two are not as different as we tend to think.

The very obvious thing is that none of us are inhabiting a body God intended us to live in forever. That's why the body feels wrong to us. Yet, I've never seen anyone use this fact to acknowledge eating disorders or gender dysphoria, in all my years online. If you feel like your body isn't right...congratulations! You are probably more in tune with the absolute truth than people who never feel any discomfort in their physical bodies.

Romans 8:21 categorizes all created things as temporary, and in bondage to corruption. 8:20-21, ESV: "For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God." Your body is part of that category; it is "subjected to futility." You will not spend the rest of your conscious lifetime in this body. Take comfort in that! You're not stuck the way you are!

You are a new creation, but parts of you are still in progress. Most notably, the physical part. Philippians 1:6 makes it plain that we are not complete yet; "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

If your body feels wrong for you...all I can tell you is that someday it won't. Christian, you are possibly being lied to about what kind of body will make you feel whole; 2 Corinthians 5:2 points our focus back towards the new body we should really be looking forward to: "We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing."

Someday it will feel perfect, better than anything you could achieve on earth through any of your own efforts, because Jesus Christ has already made you a new one. You will assume it when our brief sojourn on this planet is over. You don't have to work for that. It's just like salvation, because it's part of salvation: you don't do it yourself. Jesus Christ has already got you covered.

Listen. I know this sounds hand-wavy. Listen, I know it must seem easy for me to speak about this. But I mean it with my whole heart; you can be at peace without changing your body physically. That peace was won for you by Jesus Christ. It comes with every other kind of peace the Holy Spirit has to offer you, in your surrender and cooperation with Him. I'm not saying you'll never feel dysphoria again, but I'm saying, here is the antidote: it is (unsurprisingly) the grace of God.

All of us will bear some form of suffering until our current life on earth is over, because of the fall. But this place is not permanent. Psalms 39:5 reminds us that these bodies are temporary; "Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath!" Keeping this in mind makes it so much easier to live as a sacrifice to God. Our bodies are not our own. We know this. We were bought with a price.

I will end this post with one final point. It has never been a sin, and never will be a sin, merely to feel that your body is wrong for you. However, I'm not saying you should try to change it yourself! I don't think that's in line with God's plan for us. I think the new body God will give you is better than any new kind of body you can create through physical means on earth. I don't believe the ethics of HRT/transitioning/ozempic for weightloss/purely cosmetic plastic surgery etc are in line with Christian theology at all. (I'm not limiting this line of reasoning to the trans community. It applies to anyone who's preoccupied with making this current, super temporary, not-even-your-own body "perfect" before it's time.)

But I'm done now, you've suffered me enough. I don't want to burn bridges with brothers and sisters who will feel differently from me on this. But I don't want to see nuance get left by the wayside, and I don't want to see us looking anywhere except eternity for the sureness of our hopes.

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my identity is in Christ.

I might align myself or agree with other things I enjoy but they do not define me like Jesus does.

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I just checked and they have Christ's Body, Christ's Wounds and Punishment which I'll start reading soon, but the one I was most excited to read was Tenderness and that's not available. Though I'm hoping it'll be eventually

I would love so much to read Eve Tushnet's books but I can't think of any way to get them without my parents finding out and that'd lead to a conversation I would rather die than have 😅

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From callmemannyyy on Instagram ❤️‍🔥