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[sighingdm]

”Paladins falling” is meant literally. Every time they do an evil act, a trapdoor opens under them and they’re just dropped into a shark tank.

[sighingdm]

To make your villain suitably intimidating, have them kill a player. Not a character, the actual player.

[sighingdm]

““If we’re going to be like this, why didn’t we just buy a dead horse in the first place?””

— The conclusion to a discussion on whether or not it was worth casting animate dead on a horse that died two days after we bought it.

[sighingdm]

The Ultimate Cavalry...

DM: So everyone describe who and what you are playing.

Players 1 & 2: I'm playing a Minotaur Cavalier, and he's playing a Centaur Barbarian.

DM: So do you use him as a Mount?

Player 1: Of course I do! WE BECOME THE ULTIMATE CAVALRY!

Player 2: Horns & Hooves!

[sighingdm]

Okay so imagine your Standard Medieval European Fantasy Setting™. Now imagine there’s no magic. Like there’s still a concept of it sure, with superstitions and all that. But you will never encounter an actual wizard or anything.

But you know what is in this otherwise-fantasy setting? Superpower mutations.

[sighingdm]

Give a long, heartfelt speech to the villain, about how evil is only the expression of pain, about how it is never too late to seek redemption. Tell the villain that you know that they can be better, and how you are here to help them leave the dark path they have trapped themselves on. Tell them that, as a paladin, you will always be here to provide salvation when it is asked for. Then pick up your dice and roll seduction.

[sighingdm]

Save money on dice by buying a can of diced tomatoes and dumping it on the table instead.

[sighingdm]

Hey DnD Community

How many of you have been banned from playing a bard in campaigns? I need to know for science.

[sighingdm]

If there was a way to run SUPER MEGA AD BLOCKER on this website I fucking would

[sighingdm]

The Bag of Holding

(Got permission from our DM to share this)

Context: We were doing a Curse of Strahd game, and had just defeated a boss, but now we’re in trouble as we do not have a means of escape and the guards are on their way. We manage to retreat to the attic to but some time to formulate a plan. On our way there, our Paladin detected magic from a bigass mirror and wants to take it with him.

DM: *talking about the mirror* I mean it’s fucking big enough for a person to see their entire self.

Paladin(ooc): I have a bag of holding.

Everyone proceeds to lose their shit.

DM: Son of a bitch!

Me(occ, still new to DnD): Wait, what? What’s a bag of holding?

DM: It’s a bag that he can put almost anything into.

Me: OH MY GOD

Paladin(ooc): WAIT, I JUST REALIZED! I HAVE A BAG OF HOLDING! ALL OF YOU! GET IN MY BAG!

*Everyone proceeds to die from losing their shit*

[sighingdm]

So, I had the motivation to make this more official much faster than anticipated. There are still more to do and ones in my inbox to finish. Made some small edits to previously made things. Hope you enjoy! The more reblogs the better.

[sighingdm]

Put subtle foreshadowing in your games. Actually, the players might miss how clever you are. Put subtle foreshadowing in your game, but every time it happens walk around the table and wink conspicuously at each player in turn.

[sighingdm]

The party is all half human  half other races looking for their shared human parent.

[sighingdm]

Pull a JK rowling and five years after the campaign ends, start texting the players with random bullshit and insist it’s canon.

[sighingdm]

Refuse to describe the environment to the players in any medium other then avant-gaurde poetry and interpretive dance.

[sighingdm]

What about my bros the githvyrik? no love?

Well here’s the big thing about that: Think about how many Githyanki and Githzerai there are all together, and keep in mind that a Single Githyanki Stronghold has over 1,000 Githyanki in it, and a Single Githzerai City can have tens of thousands of Githzeari.

You wanna know how many Githvyrik there are? Five.

Five across the entire Multiverse, across all the Planes of D&D, there are only 5 Githvyrik…

And while we know almost nothing about them (literally nothing we only have 1 Source that even says they exist), we do know a few things:

Like the Githzerai and Githyanki, the Githvyrik split from their kin when they freed themselves from the Mindflayers. But unlike the Githzerai and Githyanki, the Githvyrik numbers are ridiculously few, and all of them are so unique that calling them a race is really more a convenience to reflect their shared origin rather than a suggestion that they share physical characteristics or a similar culture.

The githvyrik number vastly fewer than either the githzerai or the githyanki, and while those races took to a single plane and established their societies and culture, the more powerful individualists among them at the time of the split did their own thing, travelling worlds and planes, taking up residence in the underdark, etc.

In fact, calling the githvyrik a race is somewhat of a misnomer. Each of them is unique - powerful and very old spellcasters, yes; derived from the same genetic stock as the other gith, yes; but otherwise quite different.

For all intents and purposes, githvyrik might as well be solitary and, in fact, almost all are…

But let’s talk about one Githvyrik we actually know about: Vhostym the Sojourner.

Vhostym was an ancient and extremely powerful githvyrik who possessed both arcane and psionic powers to call upon.

Vhostym worshiped no god or goddess, as he saw the gods as nothing compared to the utter randomness and enormity of the universe. The only order and predictability that the universe had to offer him was its perfect Mathematics, which he used to bolster his spellcraft, making him near unrivaled by any but the gods themselves.

He resolved through his increase in power that the only law in the universe was that those who are weak should suffer the will of the powerful, and that morality, whether good or evil, was a fiction created by sentient beings to bring purpose to meaninglessness.

Vhostym went on in his youth to build and use his strength for his own desires, destroying entire worlds, slaughtering flights of dragons and thousands, perhaps millions of creatures.

Vhostym took no pleasure from the suffering of others, while not hesitating to wipe out civilizations and worlds for his whims. He neither loved nor hated any being in a universe so unpredictable.

He has lived for over 10,000 years, bolstering his lifespan through the use of powerful magics.

So what can we take away from this, well Githvyrik are most likely very powerful spellcasters, whether Wizard or Sorcerers or whatever, and possess psionics just like all the other Gith.

They were most likely Lawful, and perhaps even Neutral, since they seem to not worship the so-called ‘gods’ of the Githyanki or the Githzerai.

And finally, they most likely had a lifespan equal to that of the rest of the Gith, but over time have extended their lifespans greatly using extremely powerful magics.

I mean, there’s only five githvyrik across the entire planes, they are practically myth and meeting one would be seen as some kind of legend…

But, if you can somehow convince your DM to let you play one of the five githvyrik, then I’d suggest taking the normal Gith Traits from mordenkainen’s, but instead of picking Githyanki or Githzerai as a Subrace, you give your Githvyrik Character a Bonus to Intelligence or Wisdom, their Alignment would be Lawful Neutral, and Magic Resistance, since each Githvyrik is apparently an extremely powerful spellcaster. Throw in some Gith Psionics and you have a Githvyrik Character!

I’ve cobbled together sorta what I think a Githvyrik’s stats might look like…

Githvyrik

Ability Score Increase: Your Wisdom score increases by 1, and your Intelligence score increases by 1.

Alignment: Githvyrik seem to tend toward Lawful Neutral. No known Githvyrik worships a god or goddess.

Magic Resistance: You have advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.

Githvyrik Psionics: You know the Mage Hand cantrip, and the hand is invisible when you cast the cantrip with this trait.

When you reach 3rd level, you can cast the Detect Magic spell once with this trait, and you regain the ability to do so when you finish a long rest.

When you reach 5th level, you can cast the Mind Spike spell at its lowest level once with this trait, and you regain the ability to do so when you finish a long rest.

Intelligence is your spellcasting ability for these spells. When you cast them with this trait, they don’t require components.

But overall while I think the Githvyrik could be a cool addition to 5e, and because of that lack of info, the writers can go wild, and because there are only a handful of Githvyrik across the entire Muliverse, they could literally detail the history of each Githvyrik in 2, maybe 3 pages…

And think of the adventure hooks you could create! How do you think the Githyanki and Githzerai would react when a 3rd Offshoot of Gith suddenly start popping out and using their almighty magics to destroy Githyanki Strongholds, or murder entire Githzerai Cities.

Or maybe it’s the other way around, perhaps the Githyanki have been hunting down these Githvyrik for millennia, but when two Githvyrik reproduce, and when the possibility of a new Githvyrik being born is on the table, what could happen?

There’s a lot of potential with the Githvyrik, and I can see why some people like them a lot, because they are so mysterious and the lack of huge amounts of info on them means that a DM’s Brain can go wild with ideas…

[sighingdm]

If a roll lands off the table, the three second rule is in full effect and you’re welcome to eat the dice before anyone else can claim them.