silencefromheaven

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There's really such as beauty that you're in a Wonder Land. 🌷✨

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don’t abandon joy because it is brief. don’t commit to solitude because happiness is fleeting. it’s okay that good things do not last forever. it’s okay to simply enjoy a thing for as long as you have it.

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Student studying under a tree, Bryn Mawr, 1966.

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𝖜𝖊 𝖗𝖔𝖙 𝖎𝖓 𝖊𝖑𝖊𝖌𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊, 𝖘𝖎𝖕𝖕𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖗𝖊𝖌𝖗𝖊𝖙

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truly the end goal is not "my close friends aren't annoyed by me and it's all in my head, they're my friends and they love me", it's "sometimes I do annoy my close friends, just as the people I love most will also annoy me sometimes, because this is normal, and we will continue to stay friends, and they're not going to want to immediately cut me out of their life if I do something annoying once in a while"

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details from Renaissance paintings

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Antonio Tonelli (b.1934) - The Big Comet. 2004. Acrylic on canvas.

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The Flax Are Wild

Watercolor On Black Cotton Paper

2023, 22"x 30"

Blue Flax, Linum

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Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.

And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."

And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.

And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.

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i kno its not rly a popular statement and it sounds dismissive but you'll be miserable for as long as u deny ur own agency in ur own happiness

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another weekend, another birthday cake for a friend

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