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gonna be in my cringe era where i write my vents on here because my other social medias are too public

like fuck guys ive genuinely been losing sleep and obsessing over this friendship for the last past months and it is consuming me

i feel like ive stopped seeing this friend in person recently, and when we do none of our interactions feel meaningful or actually enjoyable. And i cant tell how much of it is in my head or just my ocd trying to make me feel bas but i genuinely don’t know if she likes me anymore. Like her actions don’t line up with her words like why are you saying I’m a light in ur life if you barely make an effort to hang out with me??????? Why did you say our friendship was important if you’re just gonna throw it away for some man you’ve been talking to for the last month???? you dont tell me anything anymore im always the last person to find out about shit you are always disrespecting me and im so fucking sick of it

like genuinely you are only friends with me when it’s convenient for you. you have never given up anything for me when it comes to the other things in your life i always come last. do u even know how much i care and worry about you even when you’re not being honest with me about your life?????? I get that you have mental health issues so do i but that doesnt mean you stop talking to someone and ice them out for THREE months. why tf are you pursuing a relationship when u cant even maintain a meaningful friendship in ur life lmao. I hope u realise how just because a connection is shiny and new doesnt mean its more worth it and that its gonna fail if you never learn how to communicate your goddamn feelings like a fucking adult. Like grow up.

Anyways that felt good to get off my chest lol

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Backgrnds :3

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Mary Oliver, from a poem titled "Work," featured in The Southern Review (edited)

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yeah im lost but i like it

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7p., cuis., s. de b., … (à saisir), 1984 (dir. Agnès Varda)

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Rina Sawayama by Erika Kamano (2023)

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Your Vice Is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key (Sergio Martino, 1972)

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"It doesn't have to be like this. We could have it so much better"

Calligraffiti in Chicago, Illinois

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James baldwin’s the artists struggle for identity. Btw.

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this ask polly comment..

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nobody talks about the fact that you can have all this crazy shit in your head, and want to open up and talk about your feelings but no matter what, you just can't make out the right words and properly put your thoughts and emotions into words

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Schiaparelli Spring 2024 couture

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Katharine Hepburn in a photo shoot from Sylvia Scarlett, by Ernest Bachrach.

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Artwork by Vanessa Foley for Yorgos Lanthimos’ movie The Killing of a Sacred Deer

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Christo (b. 1935), Wrapped Portrait, 1963. Oil on canvas, polyethylene and string, 55 x 48 cm.

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haha fuck I have 24 dollars rn bc my bank account was in the negatives so when my paycheck deposited it went straight back to my bank and uhhh my first payment for my tuition was due yesterday 😭 ik ik no hate pls, just help even if it’s just by sharing and if you can donate please please please do