silentrage1 - Tumblr blog

[silentrage1]

I'm on a downward spiral...... down down down I go..... I went from only light drugs and tried to stay out of trouble......and now suspended from school I've done jus about every drug that you can think of I've done so much crap and hiding it from people that are close to me..... fuck I jus don't want to feel anymore....at all..... can I please jus die now

[silentrage1]

[silentrage1]

Can I jus die now..... that would be wonderful.... the pain inside is getting soo bad.. I could have died the other night... my friend wrecked the car and the feont wheels were over the edge of like a small cliff ditch thing and we were all intoxicated.... the scariest thing about it is I wasn't scared at all.. I should've been scared shitless but I wasn't in the slightest. .. the pain inside is growing and its suffocating yet intoxicating at the same time... I jus wanna be gone from this pain yet I want to stay and feel this pain like as if it was my child..  in ways I've grown with this pain grown to love it but it hurts.. so bad.. idk anymore.... keep living and see if the pain will jus kill me that's what I want to do...

[silentrage1]

I loved you......

And all u did was pretend to care… all you care about is yourself.. you say you love me and our friends but no inside you only care about yourself……wat the fuck really… I told you that it scared to me death to loose you… but you go and disappear like that knowing that.. why the fuck… I can’t do this I’m done with trying and I’m done with you! I fuckin love you…… ill be here when you realize you are fucked up and want to apologize but it will never be the same after what you told one of my good friends what you told them and you know what you said…. fuck it I really cared about you and now I can’t care about anything…. well fuckin thank you for that!! Bye!

[silentrage1]

[silentrage1]

[silentrage1]

I'm sorry

I feel like I did something wrong… I’m trying to keep this relationship good and trying to keep it alive but you seem to not want that…. like I love you.. I want this to work but idk how when it seems like you want nothing to do with me..

[silentrage1]

[silentrage1]

[silentrage1]

[silentrage1]

[silentrage1]

I really jus fucked up big time... goddamn it I fucking hate myself

[silentrage1]

[silentrage1]

All I can feel is FAT. All I can see is FAT. All I am is FAT. Just fucking FAT. FAT. FAT. FAT. FAT. FAT. FAT. FAT. FAT.

[silentrage1]