silenttale22 - Tumblr blog

silenttale22 · 6 months

Text

MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND/PJM/ - Chapter 8

Word count: 5k

Note: I think we so much closer to the end now! So I hope you enjoy

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 7/CHAPTER 8/CHAPTER 9

Despite coming across as totally confident, without any panics going inside his head, Jimin's caramel eyes still hold a hidden fear. Fear of rejection, and of being judged in the most ordinary way. Of how he looks like, how he moves or how he lives. He was so scared about the other peoples opinion, looking for someone else validation, that he was losing himself slowly.

Over the years, his excessive obsession with things to be perfect grew, and when he found a person who caught his attention for a longer term - he felt lost.

He felt the need to please everything and everyone, so now an uneasiness blossomed in his chest that slowly sprouted vines outside as well.

He had lost, or was about to lose.

These were now his musings as thoughts of you ran through his head. He tried to reach out and get in touch with you, but you just ghosted him and gave him the cold shoulder. You disappeared.

And this made him feel vulnerable. Because for a long time he had the feeling that the only reason for his better state was you. Getting up every day, eating a good full breakfast and getting the right amount of rest…that's all he was trying to do for you.

And it was probably wrong, a red light should have been glare in front of his eyes because - he should be doing it for himself, not for someone. What's the point of trying to be a better person for someone if you can't be sure as soon as that person disappears, that better version of you will simply fall away.

It was precisely why Jimin was slowly losing his mind. Because he gradually didn't know which version could be the real one.

When the contact with you broke off, he couldn't stop wondering what had happened. Did he messed up so bad?

He couldn't just stop thinking, because that's how he was - putting others above himself, worrying about others, making time for others. Only that in this he often found himself losing his own self.

This time, however, he thought a lot about your behavior. And by spending time with you, he could see similar patterns to himself, which he often mirrored with fear of losing someone, or something.

It was hard for him to stop wondering what was really going on in your life, because no matter how strong feelings blossomed inside him at the very thought of you - he still didn't know anything about you. He didn't know your story, but neither did you know his.

You both wanted to start with the walls already built, forgetting to think in the beginning how important the fundamentals could be.

Just as quickly as Jimin began to realize this, he wanted to take action. However, he couldn't, because you disappeared. Responses to the knocks on your apartment door were silent, and the messages he managed to send you a little (leaving aside the ones deleted before sending each time) were mostly not even read.

Jimin began to doubt whether he would ever be able to catch you.

That's why one cooler day, when Hoseok had mercy on his exhausted body and finished practice sooner, the blond man didn't wait to wear his coat real quick and sprinted to your department's entrance, hoping you were still there like you usually do. His body was shivering a bit after an hour from the continuing cold that was getting through the door opening every now and then, but he refused to move. Fearing that he might accidentally miss you by sight.

After two hours, he caught a glimpse of your hunched posture poking through between the bodies. Your nose dipped in a huge scarf, and your hands tucked deep in your pockets. You looked like a cute little ball to him. But when you passed him at the door without a thing, his heart squeezed sharply almost stopping him from grabbing your sleeve.

Eventually he got brave to catch you, but your reaction put even more pins in his fast-beating heart. Your eyes met his, for moments gazing sharply, but just as quickly as your gazes met, you took your eyes off him as if embarrassed by his presence.

"You good?" Jimin asked, but seeing your confusion, and slight anxiety glimpsing inside the eye, he knew something was wrong.

But he still didn't know what.

"As you can see," you said quickly, escaping his gaze with your eyes

"You've been out recently a lot," he tried hard to sound normal, but the heaviness were lying on his chest, making it hard to breath

"Working," Jimin hummed quietly, but he wished to came closer you, hold you tight and protect from everything around.

But he couldn't, so the only thing he could tried was to plaster a smile on his face, and with hurting heart say

“Hope to spend some time soon,”

But you didn't respond. Left him there still cold, not really sure what to do.

The next few days became nothing but torment for him. A strange feeling of loneliness had begun to cling to his body even though he was surrounded by many people. The longer he stayed with others, the more he noticed how your presence eased his insecurities.

Jimin also noticed that being among people and keeping even some sort of close friendship with them didn't mean that they ever understood or would understand what was really going through his head. However, you seemed to be such a lost piece of his soul to patch up the hole inside that was felt more and more with time.

In the evenings after long practice sessions, right after coming back home with his headphones still pressed into his ears blasting loud music, Jimin would make himself a meal. He ate it slowly, sitting then for a long while in the kitchen looking dully out the window, where the sun was setting slowly over the horizon, and the beat in his headphones massaged his tired brain pleasantly.

It wasn't until an hour later that he pulled off his headphones to take a shower and ended up comfortably laid out on the cold ground of his bedroom and kept his eyes on the ceiling. The chill spreading from the ground eased his roaming thoughts a bit, but it was still hard for him to stop completely. So listening to the sounds of your apartment every day, he wondered if anything would change.

As he thought about it longer and longer, the more he wondered if he had done the right thing by invading your life. Truth be told, after the night you gave him a helping hand, you never mentioned that you wanted to continue any friendship with him. Jimin simply tried hard to stay within your reach, and you never seemed to refuse his presence. However, now he felt like an intruder. Slowly, he was unsure himself whether he should continue to meddle in your life without a clear invitation.

With his head still in the clouds, practice seemed arduous for him, not exciting as much as it should have been. The steps, even though they seemed to come out perfectly, still didn't bring him satisfaction so each time he would go up to the equipment playing the music from the beginning and - with or without Hoseok - dance the whole choreography from the start.

“Jimin, I know you have ants in pants but sit on your ass for once” Hoseok's voice was loud, as his finger found the turning off button making blond one groan.

“Just let me dance, for fuck sake” he grunted, leading his steps to the console.

“Nah, come here. We have to talk.” Hoseok sat on the floor, and patted the place next to him so Jimin right after rolling his eyes with annoyance, took the same pointed spot. “So…” he said, stopping just after, making blond one to look with a side eye.

“What” low and rough tone came out but for first minutes he only heard the snort as an answer.

“Will you ask her properly out?” The question finally falls, and Jimin's eyes widen, feeling as the blood rushed to his cheeks.

“We're friends…I think we're one…” he mumbled, now making Hoseok to groan and nudge him hard onto shoulder “Hey! what was that for”

“Just ask her out or you will be again the grumpy bitch” snort left Jimin's lips yet uneasy feeling on his chest made him dizzy

“We barely know each other, and I don't think its a goo-” as boy wanted to find any reasonable explanation, another time the voice interrupts him in mid-sentence

“Bullshit, I'm not asking you to buy an engagement ring idiot. I want you to give her a hint that your stupid ass likes her more.” the eye roll and loud huff making Jimin annoyed even if he know that his friends speak some truth and theoretically this should not make him feel this way.

A sense of unease clings to him with the thought that the proposal that Hoseok mentions might be most simply rejected. Although you never seemed unwilling to be in his presence, no one said you would just want to go out with him like that.

Jimin's gaze rises slightly, and the reflection of his face stares miserably askance. His skin had become a bit more dull through several sleepless nights, even pale in places, and small bags under his eyes had begun to decorate his face.

But he couldn't do anything about the fact that every spare moment his thoughts returned to you and to the feeling bottled up inside him. Every little thing about you made

Jimin's only desire is to know you better. He wanted to know your story from the past and wanted to be a part of it in the future. However, he couldn't do that without your permission, whether he wanted it or not.

“I know you're scared” Hoseok's voice shakes him out of his momentary musings, gaze from his reflection jumps quickly to the face of a friend "I know that your past, more intimate relationships of this kind didn't tend to end ,uhm well…but, she really seems to be different. Seeing you two together in the hallway that day, if I hadn't talked to you I could have said you were already pretty close."

“Hobi, she don't want to talk to me anymore. I tried, and she just-”

“Because maybe she's scared too? You, yourself said that you just met, she may be scared of doing the wrong step. Or maybe just as you has not the best story behind” Jimin hummed quietly, playing with his fingers and listening attentively every other word “I just want to say, both of you can come through similar pain but in different way so its may be easier for both of you to understand your needs but first you need to talk. Without it, you will do nothing and she will just disappear.” and that's how Hoseok's words came his to mind, because the thought of losing you forever punched Jimin in face hard.

“Fine, I'll talk to her but-”

“Great, that's what I wanted to hear!” blond boy huffed with anger, eyeing Hoseok with narrowed eyes

“Okay you big shit, interrupt me one more time and I'll punch you. That's your third time” Jimin's voice was sharp, exaggerated sigh left his lips right after the sentence

“Not my fault you're talking bullshit.” Hoseok grumbled, but wrapping it all up with a crooked smile causing Jimin to just nod and the room fell silent again

And since then, the boy's head was heavily filled not only with questions as to why you stopped speaking so overnight, but also how to make it all right so that you could come to his side again. However, with each passing day, Jimin felt his nerves embrace him tightly, and his every attempt to approach you one more time and get into any kind of conversation ended in fiasco. Because of this he would often return home that same day, once again skipping any meals, going to bed and trying to sleep for the sake of it.

He could feel his body weakening, and the twinkling in front of his eyes, which had been gone for a long time, began to return. Sitting indoors more and more, his body was shivering from the cold even though it was supposedly warm enough inside.

He no longer knew what to do himself, and the days once again began to flow with monotony and sadness. When classes at the university ended and a particular day of practice wasn't scheduled Jimin found himself at a dance school. Smiling children learning new steps lifted his spirits a bit, sometimes even a sincere smile danced on his lips. However, he knew inside that something was missing and he could no longer patch the hole.

He slowly presented the next moves, and the juniors at first gazed at his silhouette mesmerized, only to try to repeat the same later. Jimin's group was much smaller in number than the others, but this was not due to his lack of experience. He had already been teaching here for a good three years, so as if that were a problem, he would most likely be fired a long time ago.

The reason is, not many younger people find interest in contemporary dance, which is exactly what he has been teaching. He knew this from himself, as a much younger boy he used to see himself more in street dance, in much looser styles, but one day in high school everything changed, and today he was grateful for it. He actually rather like his body to gently glide through the air or move gracefully on the ground than to make his body mimic robotic movements and put in some soulful steps.

“Seonsaengnim, I can't do that!” a little girl with a pout sat on the floor, as the music stopped playing. Jimin's head perked up to firstly look at the hunched posture he saw only in the reflection. Her face now tucked into knees, as he walked quickly and crouched next to her side “I'm trying, and not even the new one steps but the old are hard for me and I am so so terrible. I'm so sorry.” she was about to cry, and Jimin's heart stung painfully at this sight

“Hey, look at me, little one,'' he begin gently, waiting patiently as her big shining from tears eyes looked into his “There's nothing to be sorry about, and you're not terrible. You did nothing wrong”

“Every step was wrong! I was out of sync with the rest, almost bumping others! I'm terrible” Jimin sighed and took a seat on the floor right next to the girl

“Okay, come here everyone. Let's sit in the circle.'' Every other kid easily listened to his words and did what he asked for. “There is this really important thing in dancing, and it's called patience. I know we all want to be perfect at everything from the first whistle, and I know what you are feeling, little one, because I have the same when something is going wrong. I know you are frustrated, and It's okay. As long as you still will keep trying.”

“But Seonsaengnim, you're always perfect with choreographies” one of the kids whined, and Jimin chuckled quietly.

“I'm perfect in front of you, because I spend days and hours preparing all of the moves just for all of you. What kind of teacher would I be, not knowing the right steps, hm?” he said with a smile, and kids hummed understandably “Everything will come in time, okay? Let's be patient and work hard. Just because you have one bitter day, doesn't mean your whole life will be like that, right? So little ones, just let's take it easy today, don't overwhelm yourself with the steps. Understood?'

“Okay Seonsaengnim!” and the adorable scream from kids makes Jimin smile, because that's the reason he loved this work so much. Encouraging others to follow their dream.

Because who would we all be without dreams?

A couple of days that were spent alternating between classes with the children and university work, another week came filled with nothing but preparations for the festival itself. Thoughts of you dimmed somewhat, but still in the back of his mind the questions of why you just so simply faded away without a sign of life could not let go.

Several times he found himself at the door of your apartment with his hand up in the air, ready to knock and see if you were okay.

Except instead, with each such try, a voice in his head screamed for him to stop with the pestering. So even though his heart innocently whined for any contact with you, the silly voice was winning out, and Jimin would return to his apartment with his head drooped, swallowing single tears that he considered pitiful more and more often. Wished to throw his sensitivity in the trash.

Still, there were moments when his thoughts completely turned off. And that was when he danced, or took the chance for any kind of physical activity. So today, as well, with his backpack tightly pulled, he ran toward the practice room, and more upbeat music played in his headphones, he felt easiness on chest at least for some minutes.

For the first time in a long, he was the first to get on the spot, so he wasted no time to grab the key from the school reception desk after showing his ID and start stretching before a friend got to join him.

The room was peaceful, covered in semi-darkness. Only Jimin's quiet humming spreading around the room from time to time to which the boy made some single arm stretches or took slow steps across the floor. He liked doing this, liked feeling the music even before it resounded in his head. He loved it when his body spontaneously wanted to create new steps to an unfamiliar melody.

However, he quickly stopped his silent stepping and found himself on the floor stretching out his tired muscles. The nights were still not very favorable for him. Although he tried to get as much sleep as he could, sometimes his eyes simply chose to stare at the ceiling rather than shut down and drift off into another space-time dimension.

A sudden clatter at the door of the room made his head pop up alarmed, but seeing Hoseok's face, he quickly went back to stretching. However, when your familiar scent entered his nostrils right as his friend crossed the threshold, his eyebrows quickly furrowed however he could not take his eyes off the ground while stretching. The movements were much louder than those usually made by the black-haired man himself, making it hard for Jimin not to cast a glance toward the mirror to see who was the next person in the room. His eyes widened when he saw your hunched posture, uncertainly pulling the bag off your shoulder right next to the legs of the other dancer.

"I see your surprise, probably by the amount, hm?" smile on Hoseok lips draw Jimin crazy mad, as you smiled back at him. Even if it was the smallest one. "It's just the two of us as this is our last time to prepare for the festival. I thought Jimin told you. You'll be at it, right? To see us…" you seemed shocked, and it was hard for him to not feel guilty. But on the other hand, how could he tell you anything, if right after he come to know both of you go to the same university, you disappeared.

"Yeah, sure. If you tell me exactly where and when it's going to be, I can come. I'll keep my fingers crossed for both of you," and Jimin's eyes widened, because you still want to come and see him. See their duet…even after not talking for so long.

"So Jimin really didn't mention anything to you?" Hoseok smiled again, but it only makes the blond one to clench his jaw, because its not his fucking business.

And ever since you stepped across the practice room with Hoseok, Jimin couldn't throw away that uncomfortable feeling that made him feel less confident than usual. Not just because he wasn't sure enough about his dancing, but a far deeper reason was the fear of being mocked. Of making himself a laughing stock in front of the person he damn well cares about.

No words seemed to want to go through his throat. Most simply, he couldn't speak…but more and more, it boiled inside him when a dark-haired friend would toss out sentences with a smile, and you would respond with an equally twisted happy face on your lips.

"Shall we get started? The hall isn't free for too long." He did not like the tone that escaped his lips one bit, but was unable to do otherwise, trying to ignore your hard gaze.

As the music and the strong bass spread through the room, Park almost automatically took every step. He was aware that there were many flaws in this, and Hoseok might be looking from beneath the bull's-eye at what the boy was doing, but he cared about simply not falling, as he always ended up doing in practice.

After one song and another several minutes of continuous dancing, they both stopped out of breath for a bit. The blond felt that his cheeks had turned a satiny red, and his sweaty face and extreme embarrassment did not make him look attractive at all. So all he could do was start nervously looking around for a white rough towel that could cover his face. However, Hoseok was quicker and commanded a rerun, so all Jimin could do was get his head stuck a little more sheepishly in his arms and position himself once again for the choreography.

So the next few minutes were full of focus and stress for Jimin, not wanting to make any mistakes. Desiring to make an impression on you that he hadn't had the chance to make before. He only glanced in your direction from time to time, trying to read from your facial expression whether he was making any impression on you, and despite your gently bared lips, he wasn't sure of anything. Because Hoseok was right next to him and he was the one who could make that impression.

“Let's take a break, kay?” Jimin slumped on the floor as Hoseok's voice echoed in the room, and after that ran out of the room, shouting that he was going to the bathroom.

His gaze went to you for a short second. He saw how you jumped from the sudden loud bang but still didn't say a thing. Should he now properly ask you? Or may he just stay quiet and give you your space. His breathing was heavy, heart pounding hard inside his chest and he didn't know if it was because of the dancing or your presence right next to him.

He wished to get up and hug you after so long.

But he couldn't.

Because what if you don't want him anymore.

“I-I can…” your voice was quiet, and broke down even before Jimin's head snapped in your direction “I can leave…” Saliva went down his throat hard, and hands shake a little bit at the thought of losing you again.

“What?” his voice was rough, and he hated that so much

“I can leave if you don't want me here, I'm sorry for invading your private space.” the boost of adrenaline in his body, make him get up quickly, almost dripping on his own feet and by accident throwed himself onto your back, but his arms embraced you tightly, and he felt like crying just at the thought of you leaving.

“Stay, please” he hide his face onto your shirt, and as you sighed quietly, your body less tense, kind of relief went over him. You will stay.

“You avoid my gaze, never mentioned it all…S-so I just thought I shouldn't be here, that I crossed the line.” Jimin heart almost broke, as you turn in his direction and then lead to sit on the floor with hard expression painted on your face.

But how could you think that way? For Jimin you just being around meant more than anything else. Yet you couldn't have known that your laughter - though damn rare, made his world light up with millions of colors. It made his day better in the simplest way. And he wanted more and more to prove to you that you were a miracle, someone irreplaceable, someone who appears to turn a life full of uncertainty and fear into light, even when your soul seems crushed by the weight of everyday life.

“Crossed the line? I thought you don't want to see me anymore or something, after this day on the corridor, and all…You just stopped talking to me,” he said hesitantly, being afraid of pulling you closer and keep in arms as he should earlier.

“I had to think, there was some…things bothering my mind. I wasn't sure what to do, and your behavior does not help. And still…I saw you were uncomfortable with me here.” he sighed with heavy feeling full of guild that he made you feel this way, so he grabbed your hand and squeeze it gently

“It's not that,” He shake his head, denying your words “I don't want you to see me all sweaty and red. I don't want you to be disgusted in me or something” words came out naturally, opening up to you his eternally clinging fear. That anyone who sees him in such a state will most simply leave him. However, your eyes get big looking at his face. And Jimin freezes, unsure of your reaction.

"What the heck? You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen…Have you seen yourself in the mirror?” your voice is rough, but still weird feeling raging inside his chest “Like, damn boy…you're handsome as fuck yet you worry about my opinion," warm. He feels warm yet still insecure at the same time.

"How can you even say that?" face getting warmer that the feeling inside his chest, cheeks are burning so he tries to turn his face in the other way but he can't

"I'm telling only the truth" your hands grabbed his shoulders, then one of them gently took his face and let it hide in the crook of your neck.

And it's so unfamiliar for Jimin, but in such a small gesture he feels filled with so much care that he can't stop tears coming to his eyes. Not a minute passed, and streams of tears went down his cheeks. And he wasn't scared of shedding tears in front of you. Because he felt safe with you "And nothing will ever change my mind."

He was calm feeling you right next to him. Because you fitted just right. The pieces he thought couldn't be patched were filled with your presence only. And he wanted to stay like this. Not wanting to let you go.

“What kind of my behavior bothered you?” words left his lips, and your body tense slightly under him.

“Just...your looks sometimes make me confused. Like...I'm questioning myself if you want me around or not.”

“That's why you disappeared?” He couldn't stop himself from asking this question. Wanted to know if it was all his fault, because if it was, he would do anything to make up for his mistake

“Not only, but yeah at some point.” she chuckled, but the heavy feeling was still on his chest

“I'm sorry.”

“It's fine Jimin, it's fine.”

But even if you said it was fine, Jimin couldn't stop thinking about it.

Because something was off with you, and he just wished to know what it was about exactly.

That mixed feeling that he needs you the most in this world, that his greatest desire is to live by your side conflicted with the thought of whether your broken pieces would fit with his for sure. Questions about whether the feeling blossoming in his chest would begin to overwhelm not so much him as you. He wondered if it all won't make it all disappear like a soap bubble impaled on the tiniest object.

Jimin was about to try hard.

To make sure you feel comfortable around him with the same manner as he felt with you. He wanted his words to affect you in the same way that yours affected him. Because you made every negative thing he saw in himself shrink to such a degree that the hope in his heart that maybe you saw something more in him than a naive boy after all blossomed overgrowing any flaws.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

More weeks passed, and as you spent more and more time with Jimin, the boy began to notice how, despite the toughest armor you put on yourself each day, a shadow of sadness ran across your face despite a relatively happy-looking day. He began to notice how well you were doing at hiding the pain that was bottled up inside you, and he couldn't stop thinking about how to help. Because you do your best to make sure that no one experiences the bitter taste of sorrow when you are alone drowning in despair.

And Jimin wanted to show you that the darkness you try so hard to lock yourself in is not good for you. That your repetitive panic attacks may not be just a momentary weakness but suffering deeply settled in your soul that needs to get a little light that you give to others instead of to yourself. Although he didn't know how long you had been stuck in all this stress, he noticed how addicted you might be to your own thoughts, which weren't necessarily true, and only made you feel worse.

He was after his classes with the kids when a message from you popped up unexpectedly on his phone screen asking if he could pick you up from outside the university building because you weren't feeling well. The boy didn't even hesitate to completely change direction and start running towards you. Knowing perfectly well that you are not someone easily asking for help. Therefore, with a heavy heart, he took no speed in his legs to get next to you as quickly as possible.

He noticed your figure from a distance, you were standing in front of the gate to the college, your face hidden in a scarf, and when he was close enough a quiet sob entered his ears. The stinging sensation in his chest only quickened his steps, and his arms quickly embraced you in a tight hug soothing your crying. Your body trembled under his arms, and your lungs seemed to be having trouble getting enough oxygen.

"J-Jimin?" your voice was weak and at this short sound of it his heart clenched painfully

“I'm right here, for you, and you're safe I promise you're safe.” Jimin was repeating it like a mantra, swaying from side to side and trying to calm you down.

"It's all my fault. I'm the only one to blame" you cried harder, tightening grip on his jacked.

"What happened, why are you saying this?" he tried to look at your face, but you were buried between his arm and muffled around his neck scarf.

"He died because of me, I should be the one dead." Jimin's eyes widen, saliva hard to swallow as his throat was deadly dry. He frozen for a short second trying to digest your words

"Y/N…" he try to coo you, not knowing what actually happened he don't want to believe that you can blame yourself with something like that "This is not true, so please let me just take you home"

"No, you don't understand!" you jerked out of his embrace, eyes quickly looked at your face - red from crying and cold at the same time

"Then explain" your body was shaking, breaths you took was shallow making Jimin himself panic. He wanted to hold you again, promising that everything will be okay

"I walk these damn corridors day after day, the looks of all these people drive me crazy, his friends looking at me with feigned sympathy when I know they blame me every time. Because it's my fault"

"Y/N I don't-" you groaned

“Of course you don't. You know it was a mistake.” he stopped breathing for a second, looking at you with disbelief “I really shouldn't write to you, I shouldn't waste your time, I'm sorry”

"No" it was rough, and astonishment and confusion were plain on your face; he could only hear a faint "huh" from you. Nevertheless, Jimin didn't waste any time and came towards you, embracing you more strongly than when you first attempted to escape. He hugged you as if you were about to break apart in his arms. “I don't care what it was about, I'm sure it wasn't your damn fault. You don't have to tell me. Not now. But you're not wasting my time. Never.” you sobbed harder in his jacket “Just, please let me hold your hand, you'll be okay. I promise you, I'll keep you safe. Just let me hold you.”

“But I am fucked up Jimin, I don't deserve you to be for me.” you said as if wanting to push him away, but your hands were clenched on his jacket, begging him not to leave.

“I am fucked up too, and I don't deserve to be by your side yet I can't let you go” he said, pulling you even closer

“But-”

“Nah, now just breathe. We will get these broken pieces together."

#bts fluff #bts angst #bts au #bts fanfic #jimin x reader #bts hurt/comfort #park jimin #jimin fluff #jimin imagine #jimin x y/n #jimin x you #jimin hurt/comfort #soulmate au

8 notes · View notes

silenttale22 · 6 months

Note

please make PRETTY LIKE YOU into a series or chapters I really like it they are so cute together

Honestly never thought about making it a series or sth, and I'm not really sure if I can make something new out of it but I'll think about it! Stay tuned😎

#silenttale22answers

0 notes

silenttale22 · 6 months

Text

PRETTY LIKE YOU |JJK|

IDOL!BF!Jungkook x Chubby!reader Genre: Fluff, slight angst, suggestive(at the end) Warnings: curses, past/current low self-esteem, insecurities, avoiding, reader is a lil bit stupid, some sugar daddy theme(but not really), Word count: 5k Note: Hi there! As I won't be able to post another MHBTW chapter, I don't wanna leave you without nothing soooo, here's my Gguk`s fic I wrote when 'Seven' came out. I supposed to post it much earlier but kinda lost it in my drafts <sorry>

Since you were in middle school, thinking about dating anyone seemed to you as something impossible. Always being insecure because well…you didn't look like someone who got the attention of the whole school. And yeah you could be loud and funny sometimes around your group of friends where…of course were also boys.

Handsome boys you used to have crushes on but the thing with any of them, who found their place deeper in your heart, became only a friendship and you couldn't even imagine it in a different way.

Does it break your heart? At first, sure, but with the passing time you just get used to it, bottling up the emotions and just keep explaining to yourself that this is how the world is going…if you're bigger, not really 'cute' with your behavior, and despite tight clothes you prefer the baggy ones - your chance of having a boyfriend is zero.

That is why when you finished your school education, life seemed much different. Even after all these high school or college years, it was still so hard for you to change your way of thinking and your habits of pushing yourself into a corner with doubt that you could get someone's attention…and what even more - make someone to fall for you even a bit, was lingering to you without the change.

So when one day, the principal from your department in the work office came up with the plan that you are the one - ideal person to be sent to deliver important documents to one of the biggest studios in South Korea, you never thought that everything would turn upside down in a few hours.

When you arrived, the people who were supposed to take over the documents from you must have stayed late in meetings that had been going on since morning, so you spent a good few hours sitting at the reception desk looking at the wall or at the phone, as you couldn't just left the paper in the reception. Occasionally moving your gaze to the papers you had begun to memorize.

But when, out of nowhere, a group of young men with smiles on their faces walked through the main hall where you were already sitting half-asleep, you found it difficult to take your slightly blurry gaze away from the gentle and pleasing to the eye figures.

By pure coincidence, one of them met your gaze, and as an even wider, even more, charming smile came to his lips, you felt your cheeks begin to burn through the sudden rush of emotion.

Your cold-as-usual hands quickly found their way to cool your warm - probably reddened - skin and you tried to push the brief attraction out of your head as quickly as possible when you looked down at your spilled thighs on the leather couch. You got up from it quickly, smoothing down your trousers and trying to collect quickly the documents in your folders, a number of which you had with you.

It took you a good 15 minutes to disappear into the toilet, but as you reached it you were still trying to calm the sudden euphoria that had erupted in your chest over a silly little minute exchange of glances. You felt like a childish teenager who had managed to get any interest in her object of admiration for the first time.

However, could you even call it "getting interest"? A simple exchange of eye contact, no big deal. Yet it succeeded in confusing your mind.

At that moment, your head did not necessarily overthink the whole "escape" plan with precision. Because, again - how could you have known that when, right after leaving the restrooms and exiting the corridor leading out of the room, he would be standing leaning against the wall? The one you were trying to get away from as quickly as you could.

But the boy, unfazed with dreamy eyes, waited patiently holding a few sheets of paper in his hand. Another plan come up quickly, you thought - trying to walk past him unnoticed.

Maybe this time it will work out for you?

His hand soon reached over your shoulder, making you come face to face with the most beautiful being you could ever meet.

"You dropped this getting up from the sofa" he said with a friendly smile after staring into your eyes for a moment, pulling a paper towards you that must have fallen out of your bag

"Oh, thank you," a quick nod and you were about to pass his figure when once again a slender hand covered in tiny tattoos blocked your way.

"Will there be any chance of us seeing each other again?" his question knocks you completely out of your right mind, so for a moment you stare dully into his face, not knowing if it's all a stupid joke, or if you're dreaming and your head is making up some sick scenario, or if it's all true after all..." Hello? You there?" his hand waves in front of your face, bringing you back to reality.

"I-I don't know. I don't think so," you mutter under your breath rather than answer him, but the boy without even waiting pulls out his phone with the keypad on in your direction

"Maybe then there's a chance to get your phone number and know your name?" You can't resist his smile and his deer eyes begging for any kind of contact so you tap a few numbers into his mobile phone, saying also your name, and the boy almost with jumps wanted to leave your figure when this time it was you who stopped him with your hand

“But, wait! Can I at least know your name or something?"

"Oh, right. Sorry,” he chuckled quietly “I'm Jeongguk."

“Nice to meet you then” You smiled at him and even your constant insecurities disappeared for a second.

And from day one the two of you used to text almost all the time. It was hard for you to take your phone away sometimes because it kept buzzing every freaking time.

At first, you were excited because damn, he was still interested in you. You felt like you never did earlier. Being especially happy that you're not being judged by the way you look.

It seemed as the both of you had so many topics and it more than once made your heart flutter. You finally met someone who understood the rules of your favorite games or was eager to learn the new ones just because he wanted to know more about the things you like. And you could listen to him talking about new songs, choreographies, or when it was enough for his career being mesmerized by the sound of his voice and excited about every little thing…It happened that you even listened to the latest news from the motorization world, which Jeongguk seemed really fascinated by.

And it made you really happy.

Happy that you already have someone like that. Even if it was only for a while, only by phone…because what's the point in planning any meeting if you know very well that it will only bring the end of this friendship forward? Your head was always filled with this damn lack of confidence, so the thinking that maybe it would be better to end things sooner will be better.

You couldn't imagine the picture of yourself right next to Jungkook, you just couldn't.

It's hard to think about the possibility that people won't judge you…and what's even worse…that they can judge Jungkook, why would he ever suffer in any way because of your looks?

And yeah, despite every nice feeling you had inside, after a while, for a person like you - not used to this kind of constant attention, especially from someone like Jeongguk…his messages started to irritate you a little bit. Even if they still made you happy at some point, something seemed not right. He seemed clingy to you, in some way maybe even annoying…and with passing time it became too much.

Or you just thought it was too much…

That's why at first your phone was in constant silence mode, often ignoring the texts all along, pretending that you're busy…with work, with home stuff, with everything. Of course, sometimes you answer, from time to time trying to swallow down the enthusiasm filling you inside. Especially trying to calm down so often pounding heart inside your chest when a boy comes up online every freaking time when you send the shortest answers you could come up with. You've been sometimes answering with a dot or...emoji only, swallowing down the hard knot tightening inside your throat.

Eventually, you stopped answering at all. Knowing that he will just stop after some time because yeah, you're nothing special. Easy to replace. And you really thought that you were right when the phone stopped buzzing at every possible moment.

You thought that you're life would be filled with the same old silence as earlier.

However, the moment when the messages stopped popping up, an even heavier feeling dropped onto your chest. A silly longing for someone you barely knew began to embrace you with tight arms, and at certain moments you've been kind of cursing yourself a little. Because why do you feel so bad about the decision you made on your own. You may have made it under the influence of negative emotions flooding your head, but it was still yours.

With each growing feeling of guilt in your chest, you were soon reminded of who you were. What do you look like with your extra back rolls, extra scars, or stretch marks from growing too fast in some places. You run your hands over your cellulite-covered thighs and guilt turns to self-disgust. And then you realize how you sometimes behave, often interested in 'what's masculine', not really keeping your nose in fashion magazines or surfing the internet to find sales on new beauty products.

So the mere fact that the boy let it go shouldn't surprise you.

And yet it did hurt a little.

It was one of the next days when your phone was lying without any sounds in your bag. You were leaving the office late at night, and through an intense week at work and the previous weekend without sleep, your body was heavier than bags filled with grain. Your eyes were closing by themselves through being irritated by the light, so when you left the building lit by fake lighting, you felt quite relieved.

When you closed them for a short moment, you felt a sense of comfort. As you took one step after another with your eyes closed, you hit an unfamiliar object with a stronger impact. But it was softer than a pole, and yet was still hard and delicate to the touch under your fingertips. Only after a moment did you realize that it was the material of someone's shirt, and a sudden embarrassment crashed all over you. You jumped away quickly almost losing your balance, but strong hands grabbed you by the waist again pulling you close in a just as smooth manner.

"Am I that scary?" Your eyes widen as you hear the familiar voice that has lulled you to sleep more than once through your headphones, and your gaze drops to the tattooed hand clutching tightly at the fabric of your shirt.

"I-no, I mean, you.." is what you began to lose yourself in your own words through which you eventually let out only an annoyed huff, but the familiar hand begins to caress you with a thumb where it still safely keeps you from falling.

You feel the warmth spreading from this place and for a brief moment you feel so good, so different...but the thought that he's only doing this out of pity, and inside he squirms with disgust because has to hold someone like you, makes you want to push his hand away and get as far away from here as possible.

“I thought something bad had happened. You stopped responding so suddenly” you swallowed saliva heavily, avoiding his gaze, hearing that worried tone.

Because you knew that if you put an eye on his face, not only would the sense of guilt eat you up, but the fear that the lingering self-sense of inferiority would grip you even tighter, cutting off your access to oxygen. There was always this agonizing dread inside, every time you found yourself surrounded by pretty people. And Jeongguk in special was a pretty person. A person who could nevertheless intimidate the other one.

“I just simply wanted to get out of the way quicker,” you muttered, feeling that it wouldn't do any good at all, but then again, sooner or later the boy would get bored anyway, right?

There was no point in dragging this out.

“What the hell? Getting out of the way? What are you talking about?" this time you laughed meekly at his tone of voice, full of wonder, perhaps in the full sense of sadness.

He must have been not only a good singer but also an actor

“Jeongguk I know how I look. And it was really nice of you to, like uh, that you wanted to... talk to someone like me, but I don't need attention out of pity,” you said, finding the courage to look him straight in the eye.

And you soon regretted it, as the sparkling gaze scanned your face with all possible stars. A knot tightened in your stomach by the way with which Jeongguk looked at you with a twinge.

"Did you actually think my messages were...pity?" The boy tried once again to look you in the eye, but this time you avoided that look at all costs "I barely have time to look at my phone, and even more rarely I look at the messages.. but with you I did because I wanted to. I wanted to get to know you and with each another conversation I wanted even more"

"But, why?"

"Because you caught my eye, and well, now I can even say that I like you. Even if you played with my feelings a little. I wanted to get your attention at all costs. I wished that all the planned meetings were going to happen. Because I found in you someone who understands me. Who isn't just looking to get laid for my money." your brow furrowed, still feeling an uncomfortable tightness in your chest

"It doesn't make sense."

'Maybe for you. It makes a lot of sense to me, so if you doubt so much that my care and attention...Is caused by genuine affection, then let me prove it''

"Huh? What do you mean"

"I want a chance from you. I want to stay by your side until you kick me out yourself. There won't be a day you're disappointed in me. Every day of the week, every month...I'll do anything to make you feel good about me. Break my heart if you want to, but for now, let me be with you."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And from that day on, your heart didn't stop beating faster for Jeongguk even for a moment, and just like he said, he really did. There wasn't a day that the smile on your lips wasn't dancing because of him.

You can't lie, it was hard for you to get used to him at first. It was very often that your boy would shower you with some kind of gifts with every single meeting. As he couldn't understand that his time was completely enough for you.

That for you, it was enough to hold his hand in yours. To feel his fingers touching you softly when the two of you were out, assuring that he was right here. Staying up late at night, when he fell asleep tired on your tights (because it's the most comfortable pillow ever) just to watch his relaxed face and stroke his hair gently as he pouts adorably then.

It was enough for you to watch him playing on the console, pretending that you're reading a book behind his back, sometimes even knowing the plot of the game better than he does and helping him with quests. That's why, from time to time, he was pushing his head back and catching you staring so both of you giggled at the end.

It was enough to just have him. Nothing more was needed.

But even if Jeongguk knew that very well, because that was one of the reasons he fell for you more and more, he wanted to spoil you. Wanted to give you everything as he promised. And sometimes it was hard for him, to buy you something that reminded of you so so much, just to be scolded by his girlfriend as you never really wanted this gift. This expensive gifts, because when he came home one day with handmade paper flowers for 'his beautiful girl', your face lit up and you were about to cry.

Because that was one of the most genuine things someone did to you. He spends time making these flowers…thinking about you all the time while doing it. It made your heart flutter. Most of the things connected with this boy did.

"I don't want your money Jungkook, so please stop with these expensive gifts," you said once, as he came home with another necklace for you

"That my love, so just accept it" he huffed with a pout

"Koo, it's too much. You have to stop buying me stuff. I love it but I love you more, okay?" your hand gently brushed his cheek as he whined quietly

"But I want my baby to be happy"

"And I am more than happy when I'm with you Bun"

But does it change anything?

Yea, for a week so you could have another damn gift. And as time passed, you kind of got used to it. You knew that this is just one of the ways Jungkook showed his affection, but sometimes you wished to snap his head off because damn it feels so much like you'd have a sugar daddy or something like that. But in that case…it was enough that you're just here with him.

Promising your boy that he's not letting you down.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Gguk," you said when your boy with a smile came inside the room hiding something behind his back when you've been lying down on a couch.

As he didn't even answer, you closed your eyes with a loud huff as a sign of being ignored and tried to play cool as his heavy steps could be heard around the apartment. Your nose twitched as it was reached by the faint scent of his cotton perfume. And this time you heard giggles coming closer but you tried to brush it off just like Jungkook did and fight with a smile dancing on your lips.

Quiet music played from the TV so you could relax after a whole day in the office, where never-ending phone calls were so often ripping your head apart. Not going to mention filling out all of the boring documents, every time the same, and all it did was hurt your eyes. But it was your job. Even if you couldn't bear it sometimes.

That's why you needed this calm time at home. When your head could finally rest. Where you could change your formal clothes into a big Jungkook hoodie and sniff it every time when the unknown stress lingers on you. But as much as you needed it, you needed your boyfriend's arms around you too.

And as for your wish to be fulfilled, a shadow falls on you, and as eyes open wide, his face hovers over. Now, miserably losing the fight, when a smile appears on your lips. And firstly boy hovers even more over you, brushing gently your hair so after that a soft peck lands on your forehead.

But as he hears your giggle, making his heart go crazy, Jungkook can kiss it more than once, making you laugh. And he'd love to do that over and over again just to make you happy like that. And yeah, he's only starting as he slowly goes down with warm lips, touching your cheeks and lips making you giggle again and again as he tries to reach your face fighting with the couch backrest. Often losing his balance and falling a little bit stronger on you.

"Hello to you, my pretty Sunshine," he said pinching your cheek, and finally only looked at you from a small distance

"Hi Bun, tired?" you asked seeing his a little miserable face but he only sent a small nod.

"I swear, you look the prettiest in my clothes" you laughed, as he began to play with the strings of the hoodie

"How the recordings are going?" he smiled now, still standing behind the backrest hiding one of his hands behind his back

"Good, it was good. But I missed you sooo...."

"Googie" you chuckled when he took his hidden hand to see the bouquet of sunflowers "Aish, boy I told you to stop," you said but couldn't resist seeing him pout so you got up to peck his lips with a smile and a quiet thank you.

You took flowers from him to put them into the water but it wouldn't be a normal day if Jungkook's arms weren't wrapped around you so you were walking with extra weight...but what a sweet weight.

"You know, I was there and they are just as pretty as you so, I had to."

"Yea, yea. You had to," you rolled your eyes playfully just to be gently stabbed with his fingers, which made you whine as you tried to free yourself from his arms

"You not going, I missed you"

"Gguk, you need to eat"

"'m not hungry"

"Yeah, and later the fridge will be empty." you turned around still in his embrace, and brushed your fingers through his long hair falling on his forehead "Put your ass on the chair"

"But..." he begins with a pout

"You can sing for me" and knowing that this will bring a smile to his face again, arms around your waist loosen to let you go as the melodic voice of your boyfriend filled the apartment with random songs interrupting the giggles from time to time when you tried to dance to the melody he was making.

Even if at first you thought the boy would actually listen to you and just keep watching the whole time, Jeongguk changed your mind quite quickly.

After a couple of minutes or so, he was standing right next to you, asking meekly what he could help you with. Oh, and just try to get him out of the kitchen...his body would hover quickly over yours and a low whine with tiny kisses would escape his lips. So this time too, you let the boy peel the vegetables or just stir the noodles every now and then when you really needed to focus on the recipe.

And maybe in front of him, you pretended to be annoyed a lot, or even angry that he was circling around under your feet stealing your kisses, or tickling you gently when he found an opportunity to go behind your back. But you both knew that if you really were you wouldn't have that small smile on your face, and you yourself wouldn't sometimes reach out to him with the gentle touch on his arms.

"As you already know... we're in the middle of shooting a video for that song you heard" he begins, as the two of you sat finally down to eat

"Seven days a week, or something like that, right?" the boy snorts with laughter as you lift your head from above your plate, a bit dirty at the corners of your mouth, that Jeongguk doesn't hesitate to brush clean

"Mhm, precisely correct"

'Mm, that's good, right? You said it's going good”

"Yeah but, you know…as the lyrics say…" your facial expression changes for a short while and you quickly try to mask the shadow of worry with a small smile.

"There's someone with you in the music video, right?" he nods quickly, and a hum leaves your lips.

"Yeah, a girl" you chuckle, recognizing the tone of his voice. Knowing that he's already anxious about this chat.

"Well, looking at the words in the song that's the whole point, am I wrong? And I heard something from people when I've been last time bringing you cookies, so yeah…we can say I knew"

"The cookies were from you?!" You rolled eyes and tried to joke some more about that only to push away the uneasy feeling sitting hard on your chest.

You really didn't want Jungkook to be extra worried about your stupid growing anxiety at this point, so you wanted to play it cool. And it wasn't even along the lines of you being angry at him. It's just simply the fact that a slim, beautiful actress has to spend so much time with him face to face concerned you because it's not hard to fall in love with pretty people.

For as long as you have been with Jeongguk as your boyfriend, there has never been a time when you doubted his feelings. Whenever a shadow of uncertainty ran across your face, it was soon caught and soothed with tender gestures, which the idol lavished you with. But what could you do, that habits from the past so easily returned to you?

"Sun, I know you. And I know you can be…" almost as if he knew what kind of thoughts were running over your head. The tattooed hand quickly grabs yours, doing circles with the knuckle on it,

"I'm fine Gguk, don't worry' bout me. Just do a great job as you always do. It's fine, I promise." You send a smile and continue eating. "Hope Hybe found this actress to be the prettiest one so ARMY could be happy" you added, feeling his eyes on you

"Then you should be the one starring in it" You rolled eyes again, and sent a quick look at him to see his shiny but nervous eyes

"Bun, I said it's okay"

"But you're sad."

"No, I'm not" you cut it, as you continued to eat your food, ignoring his eyes on you.

And of course…he huffed like the offended child, always knowing better so the rest of the dinner was silent.

"You coming lie down with me?" a question fell from your lips, as the dishes were put into the dishwasher and both of you headed to the bedroom.

"Can I?" He asked, making you to look at him with disbelieve

"Better question, why wouldn't you? Thought I'd feel the strong arms of my man this evening" and his face lit up immediately but as quickly is felt sad again.

"I let you down" he mumbled, and your happy expression fell down

"What?"

"With m/v" pout decorated his lips again, and the sadness overcame you again. The soft sight left your lips, as hand reached to hold his.

"Oh, Googie. What are you talking about? I told you I'm fine. Of course, it will be a bit hard for me to know that my pretty boy is recording with some pretty girl, but you never let me down. I trust you, okay? Don't even say that you let me down ever again."

You came closer to him and grabbed his pouty face in hands to squish it adorably and kiss the sadly twisted lips. Your eyes met and again you could see the small stars shining inside his espresso-brown ones.

"I love you" words came out as you nuzzled nose with his.

And it was enough for Jungkook to pick you up just to fall together on the bed a minute later so he could hide his head in your neck, slipping his hand through the hoodie to stroke your belly gently with his fingers. Squishing the skin a little bit harder from time to time, just to massage it after it.

"Damn you're much better than this stress relieving toys," boy said, after squishing your skin one more time

"'sxuse me?" you gasped with a rough voice, looking down at his hidden face, feeling his hands freeze on your belly. You were about to snap his hand off but he was quick to hold you tighter and look at your face.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it in the negative way you probably thought. I mean that your presence soothes me down, and just laying like that means everything to me" he explained fast, and you caught hardly anything but as Jungkook's hand again began to caress skin, a soft huff left your lips

"Yea, yea…" you murmured, feeling his eyes on you

"And the fact that I'm freaking addicted to your skin its the other point" you groaned, trying to hide face into the sheets but as a laugh left Jeongguk's lips, you couldn't not look at his face, as the wrinkles decorated his small nose making you leap with joy inside.

"So…" he began again, making you look down at his face now pressed to your boobs. Your fingers were playing with dark, messy hair and a hum encouraged him to speak his mind "Should I talk to PDnim and get you to the M/v?"

"Googie..." you giggled as he rubbed down his nose onto your chest and looked at you with doe eyes

"What? The lyrics will match better. Your waist is the only one I kiss, and your lines are the only ones I wanna trace" you snored at his words, but couldn't deny it didn't make everything inside explode with an amazing feeling connected to love and care.

"Yeah, and I hope I'm the only one you leave with afterglow" you pondered quietly, so the giggle came to ears as an answer

"Wanna check?" his brow snapped as he came even closer to your face, and rubbed his nose softly on yours

"Maybe?" you smirked and it was enough for him, as rosy lips peck your skin with tiny kisses, with each successive one assuring how important you are to him.

#bts fluff #bts imagine #bts angst #jungkook imagine #bts x chubby reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook x chubby reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n #jeon jungkook

237 notes · View notes

silenttale22 · 6 months

Text

MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND/PJM/ - Chapter 7

Summary: Someone once told her she had to learn to live in pieces as there would be nobody to glue them up. But what if a person with similar pieces to her appears? What if by complete coincidence her crying is heard in the middle of the night? What if together they can create a whole new masterpiece? Dancer!Jimin x Student!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Slice of life. hurt/comfort, Soulmate!AU, SchoolAU Warnings: Curses Note: Hi! Just hope you will enjoy it

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 6/CHAPTER 7/CHAPTER 8

It was a difficult pill to swallow that you had someone again in your life. Someone who may become a support in all the smallest matters of everyday life. You never thought it possible that anyone would be there to uphold your slightest, most personal dreams yet again, and even more remarkably, strive to help you with them. It wasn't often you found yourself thinking that on your path will be someone who would truly understand you. Being told you were not one of the most regular kind made you believe there was no one even willing to try to understand you.

The fact that someone actually would want to stay with you for more than one miserable moment out of your life was weird to accept. Before Jimin came along, you would often say that the other companion alongside - you often begged for before bedtime, was too much. The thought that you should only taste the bitter taste of your broken life while sitting alone never left your side.

After losing the most important person in your life and the closest person actually had left - you were forced to survive on your own. You didn't want to take help from anyone, being taught by previous experiences that you can only count on yourself. Plus in this case, having in mind that everything from people was just a plain pity.

And that was something you especially hated.

Understanding was something you would possibly accept but there's a difference between empathy and sympathy. People you thought of as friends started to deal with you too gentle, driving you to an even worse state. All you wanted was someone next to you to listen to and not to hopelessly mention that it would be okay. And you know it wasn't their fault but inner defenses were stronger than that.

Stronger enough that shortly after his death you shut yourself off from people, trying to be content with your own being. However, you couldn't lie that it was hard for you.

Leaving your previous family home because you couldn't afford to keep it on your own and neither could you count on any help from any government offices was probably the hardest thing for you. The old pleasant smell of warmth and love no longer wrapped around you when you passed the threshold. After all, it was just an embracing chill and the faint stench of coffee, through standing unwashed cups.

Time passed and meeting Jimin on the path seemed like a turning point in your life. He was the only person you had actually let in. One of the few you really talked to and spent any time with. And even you at first was surprised because of that. But he seemed so easy to get along.

Nevertheless, there was also something that at times took the slumber away from you, and that was Jimin himself, whose condition at times had a way of worrying you. Despite the fact he looked like a usually smiling person, perfectly capable of pulling a person out of the biggest pit, sometimes the sparkle in his eyes would go blank.

The way he looked at his own self-worth was like pins sticking holes in your heart, because every time you got a closer look at the boy, the more often you were able to see how inner demons managed to toss his frail body. Demons that made his eyes glisten every time he looked in the mirror, not from charisma, but from incoming tears. His head did terrible things when it came to any meals or worse his body image.

Because disgust and shame was the only thing that would shine in his eyes when he looked at himself.

You wanted to be patient with him, you didn't want to push it on him right away that his lifestyle was really far from the healthy life of an athlete - which he undeniably was, but recalling in your mind the conversation you had with him that memorable day right after the attack…you know you made a mistake.

Even though everything you said was true, it was only minutes after you understood that calling him "weak" was not a good move. Now you know this, now you would have been even more eager to find a starting point from which you could somehow help him out of this state. With small steps you wanted to show him at least some…healthy perspective on all this, even though yours in many cases was not the healthier as well.

Hence, you sometimes offered to make a meal yourself…which Jimin initially rejected. Still claiming that it would neuter his appearance in a way that would help him look better. So you didn't force, you just encouraged that you two could somehow try to eat together, and it actually started to work after some tries. Gradually you saw the boy began to break through and although in small portions…he began to eat more. And you wanted to tell him how proud you were that he was trying. But certain words stuck in your throat, afraid that they might trigger an unwanted reaction.

As well you pretty quickly became aware that the boy was a perpetually busy person. The time you spent together wasn't excessive, in fact, it was more like bumping into each other in the stairwell or peeking into each other's places from time to time, making sure everything was okay. He'd come over every time you fell, checking if anything serious had happened, and you'd drop off some meals for him when he more and more wanted to try get healthier.

And most of the time you ended up eating together anyway. You also saw how his stamina improve, and muscles began to show, replacing his past walking skin and bones body.

Jimin seemed to glow more and more in your eyes, and you found it difficult to take your eyes off him. Small improvements, made your heart dance happily, as you could see boy getting healthier and healthier. He would boast with a smile on face, burbling that his dance routines were going out much better, and the children he trains with complimented him that he was looking brighter and happier.

You, with each of his new stories, couldn't stop smiling. And the past pain of loss settling in your chest began to ease, but still - late at night you couldn't push the memories away. As time passed, they were not so painful, you could even say they were pleasant…because despite everything, you were happy before all this too.

This time you took your regular seat in the lecture hall, leaning on your hand, and drifted off with your thoughts to a completely different place. Another lecture on anaesthesiology was approaching, so you were flipping through the pages of the textbook with one hand, not really reading them at all. It was a moment's break between today's lengthy classes.

There was a hustle and bustle around you where the younger students, as your field of study seemed to get more and more year-mixed lectures. So the students around, instead of repeating the necessary material, just talked loudly and occasionally burst out laughing loudly. But it didn't irritate you too much, it was more helping you drift off to a time when you were like that yourself.

Nevertheless, you still didn't want to be inside the walls of your university any longer. Another sleepless night, as your imagination decided to flow in every possible direction and grab the ropes of worst-case scenarios, only knocked out your body, which was demanding sleep.

A loud bang awakened your sluggish thoughts and your head lifted quickly, you ran your eyes around the room wanting to see the source of the noise. But as quickly as you did - finding none - you tucked your head in your arms, hoping to get back to your flat as soon as possible.

When the professor appeared in the room 20 minutes later to begin the topic on proper procedures when putting a patient to sleep before surgery, your gaze only wandered over the slides projected on the screen. Every now and then dropping to the textbook cursing yourself in your mind for choosing your field of study.

You ended up staring at the wall again, pretending to understand everything.

The next two hours of lectures dragged on mercilessly, but when you finally left the room and fresh air entered your nostrils - feeling of relieve came to your senses. You no longer had to sit in one damn place and endure the insistent gaze of the lecturer, who tried to force you to report or answer his question.

Not this time, you didn't have the energy to do so and barely held back from raising your middle finger in his direction.

You slowly trotted down the corridor heading towards the next of the halls. Ignoring all the loud conversations around you, often echoed also by sighs or quiet squeaks. You were used to them, knowing perfectly well that somewhere nearby must be one of the "prettier" faculties, whose students shined in every possible aspect, attracting the eyes of everyone around. So it was likely that this time, too. The girls of the junior year once again sighed at the students from the sports or music classes.

To this day, you still couldn't understand how one university had a medical major and a music major in one place, but being here for the third year, no longer bothered you. Not as often as it used to.

All you did was sigh quietly and shake your head, not wanting to think about it anymore. You sped up your stride a little, clenching hands on the braces of your backpack wishing to be in front of the next class as soon as possible.

But getting to the right place seemed almost impossible through the overcrowded corridors and low visibility. After taking a few steps and praying in your spirit to quietly make it to the courtyard and then to the next college building, escaping the din, your entire plan went to waste. Your clumsiness was on show once again when suddenly one of the students almost bumped into you, and in your fear to avoid the body falling on you, slammed into the back of another person, lurching to a halt backwards.

It was hard to swallow your saliva as in an attempt to pull yourself together and move on, not wanting to get into any trouble, apologizing quietly. However, a hand grabbed your shirt, and your eyes widened, uncertainty lingered to your body, when you saw a male figure.

"Y/n? Damn, I never thought I'd meet you here." his hearty laughter came as if from afar, and you didn't want to rise up your head from the overcoming embarrassment.

How did he all of a sudden end up at the same university as you? He never mentioned that he was studying here…although he often mentioned his music major, he never really said where.

"Besides, Cutiepie, I've told you so many times to be careful. What if it wasn't me?" he ruffled your hair with a gentle manner "And you were supposed to stop forgetting your jacket from home when overslept again…" you felt the dark leather jacket on your shoulders, and a sharp citrus scent combined with a delicate floral one entered your nostrils, making you momentarily dizzy.

After a moment, you only lifted your head, and a pleasant shiver ran down your spine as your gazes met his caramel eyes.

"Jimin-ah, what are you doing here…" after letting out a short sentence, feeling that some of the people around you were staring right at the two of you, you looked around the corridor uncertainly and lowered your gaze clenching your jaw. The uneasy feeling was quickly replaced by a pleasant warmth radiating from the blond man that frequently embraced your body.

“I-”

"Damn! Is that the mystery girl you've been talking so much about Jimin!? You didn't say she was also studying here!" shouted an unfamiliar, tall man who shoved himself in front of the blonde boy cutting him off. Your first reaction was to jump away tentatively from the stranger, almost falling into someone else's figure again, if it wasn't for Jimin's hand suddenly pulling you closer to his familiar scent.

“It's Hoseok, you don't have to be afraid.” voice was soft, calming your raging mind but still with tense muscles you stared at black haired boy, who had that unknown happy sparkle inside eyes.

"Y/N, right? Jimin talked so much about you at practice that I was slowly getting sick of it, but I'm glad to see you and finally have a chance to get to know you. Now I know you're not made up" He laughed, and at that, Jimin just groaned quietly, still embracing you tight and stably. "Jung Hoseok." new person bowed gracefully, with an adorable grin decorating his face.

"Hwang Y/N" you muttered quietly and pulled your hand towards him, pushing yourself slightly off Jimin's chest, but Hoseok unexpectedly drew you into a hug.

Your eyes almost popped out of their sockets at the sudden close contact, so you stood stiffly in his arms not knowing how to behave. The only person you'd happened to hug in recent times was Jimin, and even with him it still wasn't a hundred per cent comfortable.

"Have you finished class yet? Maybe you want to watch our practice?" Hoseok suddenly started asking thousands of questions, which immediately made you feel uneasy. You were quite not used to such an amount of words per minute. So only wondering how many words were coming out of his mouth in those few seconds, your mind went slowly blank.

With widened eyes, you stared at him, shaking your head negatively, trying to interrupt him at least for a moment and tell him that you needed to hurry to class, but the boy didn't seem at all bothered by your waving hands, so you glanced beggingly at Jimin, who finally nudged the dark-haired man harder.

“Sorry, I still have classes. And I would really love to know what kind of practice you two have, but I really have to go.” you said quite vocally when questioning stare fell on you. The expression on Hoseok's face darkened after your answer, his excitement dampened.

“Oh, yeah..sorry!” his chuckle was quiet, not really pleased with the response, but in an instant his face was back to the way it was before with an adorable smile “Then you must come up another time! Almost everyday in the main dance room, you know where, right?” you only nodded unsure, recollecting where possibly this can be, sending Jimin questioning stares but he was avoiding it hard.

“I'll come. One day. Promise” you said quickly, pushing jacket onto Jimin's arms, as you cut it all and run. Disappearing into the crowd, trying to calm the heart pounding against your chest as you pushed your way through the people blocking your path.

You showed up at the classroom late and, with your head down low, apologised to the lecturer and quickly took a free seat in the room. Yet despite everything, you were not at all focused on the topic he was talking about. Your thoughts began to revolve around the blond man, who every time proved to surprise you with something new.

That's why when the teacher called you to answer, so with horror and widen eyes only asked to repeat the question. Hand on heart, answering the best you could despite the intrusive thoughts pressing on your head.

------------------------------------------

You left the university building filled with anger. Knowing that your answer grade had been lowered solely because you were late. With the back of your mind that Jimin was not only teaching at one of the dance schools, but also training for something…and you were sure it wasn't just for some college pass. Eventually…you didn't know exactly what to focus on at the end.

So for the next days, the best you could - you tried to avoid Jimin. Because fear was always first, long before every other emotion when it comes to such unpredictable things. And it's not so much that meeting Hoseok suddenly changed your approach to the whole, still fresh friendship.

After all, you and Jimin were in an extremely undefined place, and his glances sent in your direction when the talk about the practice began gave you an extra task for the following nights. Thinking and even overthinking about the things that may not even be the point. Wondering what could be the reason for such cold eyes. Someone could not even pick it up. But you always been an observer, and such small thing made you go into isolation again.

It was always like that, when you didn't know what's going on inside, you decided to disappear. Isolate from everyone as much as you can to get your ducks in a row. It was a time when the people around were making you even more tired, as well as confused and unsure why this was happening. You think that you need time alone, but this time ‘a little bit of it’ stretches much longer, and it got harder for you to left your apartment. Sometimes ignoring all the knock on your door.

And one day you've been walking fast down the college corridor. Face hidden in your shoulders, scarf tight around your neck as you were about to leave the one building and get to other part for another classes. Just as your hand was about to pull the doorknob, a gentle tug caused you to stagger backwards with a gasp, barely keeping your balance as as you broke sharply out of someone's embrace. Your head turned and your chest was rising fast as you took a look at the pale face with eyebrows raised high.

"You good?" his question caught you off guard, and more questions like - what the hell does he actually wants- began revolving around your head again.

"As you can see," you said quickly, escaping his gaze with your eyes

"You've been out recently a lot," he added making you swallow down the whimper inside your chest. How could you tell him now, that everything just overwhelmed you and all his knocks was simply ignored.

"Working," you replied, fighting with the urge of hiding inside his arms and forget about this uneasiness and anxiety.

Jimin hummed quietly, distance between the two of you was way bigger than usual, and the heaviness weighted on your chest but eyes stayed sharp while glancing at his face

“Hope to spend some time soon,” his smile was small but still enough to ignite something new in your heart. It was beating fast, longing for him.

But you pushed it away, because how could you feel this way so quickly? Were you this desperate?

You didn't respond. Only nodded and disappeared that day. To argue with yourself inside your mind. With all of it, you tried hard to silence the chattering voices in your head telling you to just go and see. See and ask Jimin what was it all about.

But you rather pushing it away yet it was becoming tiresome for you each time. So more and more often, on days when the college classes ended faster, you would catch yourself trotting towards the dance halls right after class was over. More often than not, though, you would stop halfway, cursing under your breath at how stupid you could be to just go after such a time and barge into a place that was completely unknown to you.

But you found yourself on a day when your feet didn't stop at the right moment. They came to a stop in front of an building with mentioning the whole time halls. As you were about to turn back, cursing yourself again that you had allowed your mind to be distracted your sleeve is quickly caught by a stranger's hand. As you turned around your gaze was met by a smiling Hoseok and a knot tighten in your stomach.

“Hi there” you swallow hard, as his voice came to ears, informing that there's no going back now. “I kind of started to think you'd never show up."

“Hi, I just couldn't find enough time” unsure squeak left your lips and with an even bigger smile on Hoseok's lips, you were dragged inside the building.

When you arrived at the place, you found that there was only Jimin in the dance hall - when you expected a large group of people. Hoseok, seeing the look on your face, laughed out loud, making the head of the blond haired boy who was stretching in the middle of the room snapped in your direction and his body immediately freeze up in place.

You looked at Jimin with uncertainty, and at the mere sight of his mangled body that was visible from a distance an even stronger scratchy feeling gnawed at your throat.

Because apparently you weren't supposed to be here at all.

You weren't even surprised anymore to hear that Jimin was one of the main dancer at the university, which at first gave you a headache. It wasn't the mere fact that he is one, as his graceful movements as he moved from place to place simply screamed that he must be doing something more with his dancing career. However, you, often knowing that he himself never begun this subject, apart from the memories of training with the children, you just sat quietly. But the fact that you could pass him so many times in the corridors of the university and yet never notice made you feel bad.

"I see your surprise, probably by the amount, hm?" laughed Hoseok, as if reading your mind. "It's just the two of us as this is our last time to prepare for the festival. I thought Jimin told you. You'll be at it, right? To see us…" your face twisted in astonishment even more, after all, the best of the faculty are sent to festivals and that even you knew, without necessarily being interested - you often overheard people from the year mention it. Plus the fact that your brother always wished to try be one of those people…didn't make it any easier to digest all this information.

You sent a confused look towards the blonde man looking at his reflection. A feeling of uncertainty quickly took over your body. Maybe, in fact, he will also be just another lesson? When each person who appears in your life seems to only be there for a moment, only to then - sooner or later - leave. And even though you didn't want to allow such a thought, it was hard not to.

Jimin is talented, beautiful and as delicate as the petal of a rare flower, all the record labels will probably start fighting over him right after he performs on the big stage, so why should he stay by your side? More and more you realized that these brief meetings didn't add up to much, and you didn't really know him at all. Although your heart was screaming that you must keep him by your side somehow, your head was arguing relentlessly, saying that there was no point. There was no point in trying to tether such an incredibly shining angel.

"Yeah, sure. If you tell me exactly where and when it's going to be, I can come. I'll keep my fingers crossed for both of you," you said and finally shifted your gaze to Hoseok, making an effort to send him a gentle smile. Although, maybe Jimin doesn't want your presence at such an important event at all? So you quickly began to regret your answer.

"So Jimin really didn't mention anything to you?"

"Shall we get started? The hall isn't free for too long." Park suddenly spoke, with a grunt as he walked over to the speaker. He began to mumble something to the music, and the dark-haired man looked at you with a grimace and rolled his eyes, then poke his head to direct seat for you by the mirror, then shuffled off to the far end of the room, beginning to warm up to the pounding rhythm.

After a few minutes, a completely different, slower melody began to play in the background, and a moment later, you had the chance to see the real Jimin, floating in the air or performing various movement combinations. You quickly fell in love with the fluidity with which the two dancers moved according to the rhythm. Each successive movement made it difficult for you to stop yourself from saying a silent "woah". You were so fascinated by what was happening in front of your eyes that you didn't notice how your mouth dropped slightly and your eyelids widened so that you could see as much as possible.

You were following with your eyes the small step taken by each one of them, or the reaching out of their arms by each one of them, but you were paying much more attention to Jimin. A feeling that it was only on this dance floor that you saw the real man, throwing out all his emotions, giving his all in each successive figure.

No sooner had the music stopped than you, as if pulled out of a trance, shook your head. With gaze falling on the blonde's tired and somewhat red face, the small streams of sweat running down it made the boy shine even more than usual, making you stare in awe, as you couldn't take your gaze away.

But Jimin, sensing your eyes on him, quickly turned his back to you, panicking to find a towel. As if he tried so hard to hide from you. However, Hoseok only shouted that they had to repeat so when, he came back on the position with a wry expression on his face something again twitched inside your chest. The blond man nevertheless, stick a a small smile on lips and put up each move with the same grace.

After an hour, while you were still staring in admiration at their fluidity, ignoring the anxiety strengthening in your chest by thoughts that you shouldn't be here - Jimin slumped on the floor after another set-up as Hoseok confirmed the short break and ran out of the room, shouting that he was going to the bathroom.

You were left alone in the room, and his fast heavy breathing deafened the heart beating rapidly in your chest. The boy was sitting sideways, with his head lowered down making it impossible for you to get a good look at him. You only watched his posture rise up and down through the breaths he was taking

“I-I can…” you croaked, but your voice broke down as quickly as you let out the first words so you huffed, and then boy looked at you with hesitation “I can leave…” you spoke again, and his eyes widen

“What?” his voice was rough, so you clenched your hands and spoke up again

“I can leave if you don't want me here, I'm sorry for invading your private space.” it was fast as the words came out, and you begin to get from the ground to leave the room but Jimin was faster and throwed himself onto your back, stopping you from leaving

“Stay, please” it sound more like a whine, much different form his usual voice.

“You avoid my gaze, never mentioned it all…S-so I just thought I shouldn't be here, that I crossed the line.” you said, as he lead you to sit again, leaning against a cold glass surface

“Crossed the line? I thought you don't want to see me anymore or something, after this day on the corridor, and all…You just stopped talking to me,”

“I had to think, there was some…things bothering my mind. I wasn't sure what to do, and your behavior does not help. And still…I saw you were uncomfortable with me here.” Jimin grasped your hand just after the words you said and squeezed it comfortably

“It's not that, I don't want you to see me all sweaty and red. I don't want you to be disgusted in me or something” He said this as if it was the most obvious thing, making your eyes shoot out when you looked at him again

"What the heck? You're the most beautiful person I've ever seen…Have you seen yourself in the mirror?” you grumbled, and a miserable laugh left his lips “Like, damn boy…you're handsome as fuck yet you worry about my opinion."

"How can you even say that?" he muttered, turning his head and looking away from you,

"I'm telling only the truth" this time you turned out to be the braver one. When you grabbed him by the shoulders, looking straight into the eyes. Eyes glazed from coming tears caused another knot to tighten in your stomach. You were aware of the reasons why. But you didn't want to bring up the issue. Not today, when he could crumble in your arms.

So most simply you let him hide his face in the crook of your neck when he tried to hide it in his hands. Not a minute passed, and you felt warm streams of tears. This was the second time you'd seen him cry.

"And nothing will ever change my mind." you added quietly, stroking his back.

A brief silence fell in the room, his face still hidden in your shoulder that let you turn off for a moment. Listening to his calming breathing, the scattered mind that had been filled with intrusive thoughts walking all over your head stopped for a while, allowing you to take a deep breath with the comforting thought that maybe Jimin still wanted to stay in your life after all.

“What kind of my behavior bothered you?” he asked suddenly, but it was more like a croak in your arm. And for a longer while you wasn't sure how to answer.

“Just...your looks sometimes make me confused. Like...I'm questioning myself if you want me around or not.” it was unsure, barely came out of your mind, and blond boy must feel how your body tensed as his hand found yours to intertwine fingers, and caress your skin gently with a thumb.

“That's why you disappeared?”

“Not only, but yeah at some point.” you chuckled, trying to loosen the atmosphere but it came out more as a mere squawk.

“I'm sorry.”

“It's fine Jimin, it's fine.” you said with a sigh, squeezing his hand gently right when Hoseok came back to the room rumbling about what just happened on his way back.

And as Jimin tried to understand everything and simply listen to his friend, your mind became loud again. Because still the feeling of confusion lingered to you. Because, was it all really fine? Were you be able to be finally happy?

#bts fluff #bts angst #bts hurt/comfort #bts au #bts fanfic #jimin bts #park jimin #jimin x reader #jimin fluff #jimin imagine #jimin x y/n #jimin x you #jimin hurt/comfort #soulmate au

5 notes · View notes

silenttale22 · 7 months

Text

MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND/PJM/ - Chapter 6

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 5/CHAPTER 6/CHAPTER 7

The days of Park Jimin felt like they were pulled straight from hell. Those first few days after - what he referred to as the rejection - made it impossible to stay and sit still. He found himself prioritizing tasks that would typically be at the bottom of his list. Just to occupy his thoughts. Therefore, whenever he found a moment of free time at home, he would play loud music and occupy himself with various tasks, such as doing the laundry, wiping away dust from every corner, vacuuming, mopping the floors, and so on. He followed this routine almost every day.

A couple of times the annoying neighbor from the apartment next door banged on his door, threatening to call the police if the man didn't eventually decide to turn down the damn nuisance music, but Jimin knew perfectly well that during the day the forces wouldn't do anything to him. Eventually, in the middle of the night, when, once again with sore legs after returning from training, he tap-tapped a mop against every possible cabinet.

On this particular day, he had already woken up with a supremely foul mood and cursed sternly under his breath when with each passing hour, he had hoped deeply that things couldn't get any worse. The smallest events quickly changed his mind.

Aside from another sleepless night and an unwillingness to get out of bed through the miserable pain in his back, one by one everything seemed to make him angry. Already getting out of bed, through a still somewhat hazy vision and peering into his phone with a million messages from Hoseok arriving every now and then - Jimin impetuously bumped his forehead against the doorframe. He bounced off it like a ball, for a long moment unable to catch consciousness of what had just happened.

After that? It only got worse, running out of shampoo in the shower, hooking on every possible doorknob, hitting himself on the edge of the coffee table when he tried to walk quickly from the bathroom to the ringing phone in the kitchen, and on the very way out, when he was already dressed, ready to get out from the apartment, he decided that he would take another quick sip of coffee - which spilled on his white T-shirt, and then the boy just cried pitifully, knowing that if he's going to start looking for a new one he would be late for training - something a friend doesn't forgive easily.

So yes, Jimin pretended to get himself together and, with his stained T-shirt, left on a run towards the training room. His bag for training was extremely heavy, almost as much as the damn weights he had thrown on his back extra himself.

The afternoon looked no better than the morning. When he ran into the building after a long marathon and wrestling with the wind, having treated his hair with the worst gusts, he almost killed himself by jumping up the stairs to the first floor. However, continuing to run - without taking the slightest care and missing the sign about the wet floor, his slippery sneakers provided him no small amount of distraction. In the end, he landed on his back with a thud, groaning quietly through the pain spreading up his spine.

"Oh my, are you okay?" a voice came to his ears from a distance, and he picked up his head to see the worried face of the older woman holding the mop in hands.

The boy sat down on the ground, groaning again and grabbing his head and shaking off the momentary shock by the fall, and nodded to the woman that he was okay.

However, he wasn't. Nothing was okay. And every minute of the damn day encouraged Jimin to jump from the nearest window.

As he achingly entered the training room, his gaze quickly met Hoseok's sharp gaze, causing him to let out a weepy whine and throw his bag on the ground to quickly slip into his proper shoes.

"Amazing coffee adventure?" said his friend sarcastically while looking down at his stained T-shirt, and Jimin only grunted as pulled himself up from the ground to stretch before training.

Movements had long gone out of sync with the layout, and another step, hand, left, one, two, and jump in the middle more than once caused Jimin's butt to land on the floor again. Boy snarled loud, hitting the dance floor furiously. He hated this feeling when anything didn't work out for him.

But he got up and tried still…

And another bang on the dance floor. Hoseok's tired sigh only made him even more angry. After all, he had tried his hardest and everything was coming out almost right...until he had to jump up with a spectacular spin. Sweat was already dripping down from the boy's forehead, on which, when rubbing his fingers, one could feel a small bump from the morning's rendezvous with the door.

Once again, Jimin got up on his feet and looked in the mirror. Seeing his miserable face, an urge to spit to the side or throw anything at the glass sheet to make it shatter beneath his feet almost as much as he feels inside with himself is rising. But he quickly clenches his jaw, tightening hands into fists for a brief moment. Music again blasts from the speaker, and his body sways slowly in line with the movements, then his right hand extends a bit to the right and an almost mechanical graceful step leads him into more smooth movements. Body roll, down. And then spin, so the boy again fell on the floor.

“Jimin what the fuck is happening, last time you've been doing it almost perfectly” but boy ignored, rolling his eyes and standing again to repeat, and repeat, and repeat…

His smoothness in steps has always set him above everyone else in the group. Years of working on various techniques have allowed him to master his body movements perfectly, without any mistakes. However, there were also days like these where he found it hard to fight back the tears coming to his eyes with each fall. Because he wanted to be the best, and a mistake condemned him to failure.

"Listen, if we keep this up we'll never get to the together part." Hoseok snapped, lining up for his solo once again, and Jimin sat hard on the floor with his back hard-pressed to the cold mirror now, taking fast gulps of water.

“I know okay, I'll do it” blond boy said, as his friend begin to put arms in the right movements, doing everything smooth and perfectly.

“Yeah, when you rest” dancer stopped in a figure, holding his gaze onto Jimin now instead the reflection of himself

“I'll do it today” Hoseok rolled his eyes with a groan, standing back straight quickly. Gazing at the blond boy's face, and commenting on it with a loud huff.

“You know exactly why this is happening, yet you rather be a stubborn bitch. Is this neighbor girl again, or something? You need sleep bro. You're tired and almost invisible” Jimin bites his cheek from inside, wishing to push this new flow of unwanted thoughts

“I'm fine.” quiet mumble is followed with snort from the older guy, as he came closer and sat on the floor, knocking off his sneakers.

“Yeah, as fuck.” he spoke, beginning to picking up his things after changing into his shoes, meeting gaze with Jimin's again

“Where are you going?” Hoseok laughed sarcastically at the blond boy words

“Home, rest. And you should too. We're here 5 hours straight.” Jimin's face grimaced, as he tried to get up from the floor but another sharp pain in his spine pinned him down with a whine

“I'm staying, need to work on this” boy said after a moment, meeting with Hoseok's worried face but he ignored it. He needs to work hard and get some results.

“Jim-” the words were thrown to the wind, as Jimin now let all the things that were about to distract go hang

“I'm staying”

“As you wish, just don't die in here. See ya” And the blond boy was left alone when the door slammed behind Hoseok. Jimin grabbed his face in his hands feeling the throbbing pain tearing through his skull, he felt like dying.

Nevertheless, he ended up picking himself up off the ground after taking another quick sip of water and facing his reflection in the mirror. His hands almost automatically formed in the right direction as soon as the boy turned up the music that filled his throbbing head. He kept moving his next steps stiffly, completely missing his daily lightness. He felt like dancing today with weights clinging to every possible muscle.

“For fuck sake ” He hissed, massaging aching legs, couldn't really stand up from the ground this time.

This is precisely why boy had to stay a few hours longer in the room to perfectly master the steps for the upcoming festival. And to impress himself in the slightest. In the back of his mind was the thought of a performance that could actually change everything in his future career. At first, he was actually jazzed about the fact that he would be able to take part together with his friend in such a big show. However, the longer he thought about it, the more stress ate him up from the inside, telling him that he wouldn't be able to cope on such a big stage.

His body slumped painfully to the floor, and a sharp pain spread through every possible muscle. His feet were skinned, almost bleeding in places by the boy's idea of trying moves without shoes hoping for better traction. This unfortunately only brought more pain. His chest was rising fast as he lay flat on the wet floor. An unpleasant odor was getting into his nostrils and all he wanted to do was vomit.

As he picked himself up to finally head for home, a momentary haze in front of his eyes made him stop and shake off the unwanted gloom. This wasn't the first time they had haunted the boy, but over time they began to appear more and more regularly, often making visibility difficult.

When he left the practice room alone, it was dark outside the windows, and the clock that hung above the reception desk when he handed over the keys to the locker room and hall showed almost the middle of the night. He wasn't sure himself how much time he had actually spent in the room, but the fact that hardly anything had worked out was killing his already miserable mood.

The woman seated at the desk sent him a weak smile when he placed the key on the counter. And even though he wanted very much to return it, his disappointed expression probably told her everything when she answered only his goodnight without questions. He and Hoseok were both lucky that the place where they practiced was round-the-clock, although it was usually him who, even in the middle of a sleepless night, could come to drift off with the music.

He took step after step, smugly looking down at his sneakers, which were wet from the puddles he had accidentally fallen into while continuing his bad streak. He tightly squeezed the strap of his large bag with one hand, while the other was tucked deep in his pocket. The wind swayed his body every now and then when his tired body could no longer manage to keep a straight path. All he wanted was to be in a comfortable bed already, so that his muscles and his head, at least for a while, could rest.

“Yah! Loser!” loud yell, and Jimin's eyes shoot wide. Busan was a peaceful city, nothing bad happened here usually. So he kept his pace, not looking behind. But it wasn't for long.

A strong tug dragged him backward, and the bag fell weightlessly from his shoulder. Moments later, he was lying on the cold concrete next to his bag, not knowing exactly what was happening. Blind punches were sent to his body and face. Jimin tried to push his attackers away as hard as he could, but his exhaustion took its toll until he finally gave up as they pulled him into a dark alley.

"Fucking faggot, looking for trouble in here? Wanted someone to hump you here, huh?" a spit landed on Jimin's face, but he couldn't move. Kicks in his stomach were too hard. “Piteous dancer, don't you?” and now boys cheeks were shining with unwanted tears, that made the other ones laugh louder

“W-hat are you…” He whined in pain as his body received a few more hard hits. It felt like he was slowly losing consciousness. Not sure how long it all lasted. Only a low voice made the two attackers panic and throw him harder to the ground, making him twist with pain again through the paralyzing sensation. He cried out once more, and with the rest of his strength crawled to the brick wall.

Suddenly, someone rushed up to him, making him flinch and heart beat sped up again, starting to pound on his ribs couple of more times. His body began to tremble at the thought that once again being slapped in the face or being kicked. However, nothing of the sort happened, and a delicate scent of floral perfume entered his nostrils before a soft voice spoke.

"Hey, I'll help you okay," and the voice seemed to come from afar, but almost feeling like he had already heard it somewhere.

His head dropped to the other side as someone's fingers gently brushed his shoulder. Insecurity gripped him tightly in its strong arms, but when his eyes caught sight of a familiar face an unexpected warmth spread inside. It was her, the girl he thought of more often than he expected himself. She was looking at him worriedly, and her chubby cheeks were covered in soft pink, her hair tied tightly on top of her head allowing him to look at her face even more clearly.

While his view was much beyond the mist, more as he would have liked, in fact, sometimes he still felt like the world was spinning around him, once the cool hands are on his cheeks, he thought his heart would explode. Thumbs gently caressing his cheeks, making him flustered but happy at once. He didn't expect that the person who was going to help him would be the one who had closed the door on him just a few days ago.

As her hands disappeared from his cheeks, the sudden sense of chill was back, and the stronger breeze blowing into the alley made his body shiver even more. However, her arms embraced him around the waist securely, trying to somehow lift the body from the cold ground, but the boy was helpless making only a quiet whine full of pain escape his lips.

A mass of curses overflowed in Jimin's head, wanting to help somehow. But unable to get his muscles to cooperate making him feel like an unnecessary burden clenching his hands tighter on the girl's jacket as she manages to get them both on their feet. Her hands were firmly on his waist, closely hugging his body to hers, and the boy's heart was still racing like crazy.

Once again the delicate scent entered his nostrils, and he tried as much as he could to inhale it like the best drug, only to remember her for longer. The fingers of the girl's hand gently stroked Jimin's body making warm waves begin to flood him. However, he could do nothing more than send a gentle smile when she looked at his face again.

"Jimin-ssi please tell me you're able to walk," he took a deep breath, as he heard her soft voice filled with so much care. For a long while he felt as if he couldn't breathe at all. Just staring into her shiny eyes.

He nodded finally, but as he took the first step, hard pain spread through the muscles and body wobbles making her hold him even tighter - as if it were possible. He felt the fingers stronger dig into his jacket so he looked at her face again, observing focused expression.

Heart skipped a beat with every stronger hold. Everything was aching but she seemed to ease his pain too well. The longer he looked at that face, the more sure he was that this was someone who was destined to stay in his life for a long time. His thoughts were tangled in the whirlwind of emotions swirling within about her.

"I'll take you home, I promise," a whisper came to his ears but himself felt like losing consciousness slowly. In the same time sensing that he was home already...in her arms made him even more sleepy.

Strong gusts attacked them both, Jimin was wobbling, hearing curses under her breath but it was so hard to pick out what was real and what was not. He focused only on the warm embrace around him, wishing to forget the pain spreading throughout his whole body.

Jimin could feel his legs shaking with each step he took, but with a clenched jaw walked along, throwing his weight slightly onto the girl's back just as she asked him to. When a quiet huff full of relief escaped her lips and Jimin lifted his gaze to see the familiar block some of the dragging emotions eased.

He did not remember the way to the flat itself well. As he crossed the threshold of the door and his nose was attacked by the smell of coffee mixed with the delicate aroma of mint, which clung pleasantly to him. And it was the thing he remembered the most. This assuring scent, that he was already safe. Yet there was also these unpleasant chill swept over his body. As she settled him down on the sofa and stared at his face taking a seat next to him.

He himself wasn't sure if the cold was caused by the sudden lack of her touch, or by the leaks that he'd tried to deal with in his flat by turning on the heating. As her fingers tentatively reached up towards his face, lifting his jaw and observing the scratches that were probably on it, a look of shame came over Jimin.

Why this is how she has to see him up close?

“I should take him to the hospital” she murmured quietly and stood up but Jimin couldn't just let her go, not when he could look at her like that. And he was quick to hold her hand, feeling this pleasant warmth again.

“I'll be fine, there's no need” He protested quickly, not wanting to lose her again, fingers still holding onto hers

“You can have broken ribs!” she whined cutely, almost making him burst in a happy chuckle. But he refused, only asking if he can stay here today.

And he felt only her first gentle touches. As rather quickly and carefully she dressed his wounds, making her hands go under his shirt, a few times, asking previously just to bandage up the bruise marks on his ribs. Jimin felt self-loathing at the time. He told himself that because of his awful looking body, she wouldn't look at him the way he wanted.

And she as if feeling his tense, begin to brush his hair softly as the wounds were already dressed. With that, Jimin fell asleep on the couch just a short while after she comfortably placed his body on the sofa pillows. The only thing he remembered before falling into a complete sleep was the tender touch of a gentle hand on one of his. He fell asleep with the hope that she had held him all night.

In the morning, he was awakened by a noise breaking through from the street into the flat. With pain in literally every part of his body, he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as a long yawn left his lips. One of his hands stretched upwards, hoping to dissipate some of the pain, but the other was pressed with an unfamiliar weight against the soft surface beneath his fingers. As he finally opened his eyes, the first question that popped into his mind was where the hell he was...but a soothing scent quickly entered his nostrils.

And it didn't take a second for his head to fall to one side, where the weight was pressing against a shoulder. Jimin saw her peaceful, sleeping face. Cuddled tenderly onto, with her face slightly pressed into his sleeve. But as her head was lying comfortably, the back was leaning awkwardly onto the edge of the furniture, making his spine ache at the thought.

He bit his lip, not knowing whether he should wake her up already or let her sleep after all and let himself admire her a little longer. But he didn't have to think for long as the girl slowly opened her eyes.

When gazes met, she pushed herself back sharply from the sofa, causing to bang her head on the glass table. She cursed hissily, provoking a quiet laugh from the boy, which unfortunately turned into a muffled whine when his muscles reminded him of themselves again.

“I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't, but I was concerned if you should stay alone here and all…” her cheeks took on a rosy colour, which for the fair-haired man was the most adorable thing he could ever see.

“I-it's fine. Thank you for taking care for me”

“Um, yeah so… Jimin-ah, time to eat. What would you like for breakfast?” quiet question left her lips, making boy to smile again. Couldn't resist the cuteness in front of his eyes.

“I'd rather know your name first, cutiepie” her eyes widened, as she stood up looking at him with surprise. He tried to sit up despite the spreading pain, never leaving her eyes. Still looking deep inside.

"Ah, right, shit sorry. It's Y/n. Hwang Y/n. Sorry for making you uncomfortable" she said flushed, then moved quickly towards the kitchen, brushing the invisible dust off her butt. "I hope the most basic pancakes will suit you. I don't have the ingredients for anything else" her voice was a little louder so that in the living room Jimin could hear everything, but he didn't answer her, which was mutually taken as agreement.

As the minutes passed by, Jimin only listened to the way the girl moved around in the kitchen. But he couldn't stand to be alone any longer. So he got up from the couch, letting out another long huff in an attempt to ease the pain, and moved to follow the smell of the pancakes which were already getting ready. Alongside the coffee and mint, there was now also the smell of cinnamon, which had been probably added as one of the ingredients.

“Damn, smell so good” he said suddenly, making her jump from the oven and look at him with sharp eye

“Want me to burn myself or what? And why aren't you lying down?” she said low, without taking eyes off the pan

“Wanted to check on you” her brow raised, as now she glanced at him and one more time, as flipped another pancake on the plate

“You on me? Interesting…thought you were the one hurt here.” she mumbled and take the same plate, onto which she had previously dropped a few smaller pancakes, to set it on the small table “eat up”

Jimin looked at the pancake, swallowing the saliva hard. Feeling his distaste for any food suddenly come, making his stomach do a few more flips. On the one hand, he didn't want anything to go into his gastro, but seeing that most likely the girl had made it just for him, he couldn't help but grab one of the pieces in his hand and chew slowly, eventually swallowing it with difficulty.

“Uh,” her sigh make him look up, and concerned face observed him attentively ”I know I'm not the best cook, but I thought it's not that bad…”she murmured, sitting down opposite him, eating now by herself

“No, no! It's good. I just, shouldn't really eat…you know” now her brow again wandered up

“And why it so?” her question fell, causing the room to fall silent for a long moment. With his eyes fixed on his plate, Jimin didn't know if he should say anything. In fact, he didn't know what he really could either...it was just that the voice in his head said he couldn't eat and that was that. “Listen, I know I shouldn't like put my nose in your life and all, but yeah as I study medicine it seems like something…nasty, unhealthy”

“I just can't, I look how I look” he burbled

“You look weak, as if you were to lose all your strength in a second. And it worries me, even if it shouldn't.” her voice was unsure, the words came out slowly, not intending to offend in any way, but something sting in Jimin's chest. The pain was sharp, and he felt like crying but only clenched his jaw and make an sharp eyes to spit up quick

“I'm just fine, okay?” And Jimin looked up to stare at the girl sitting opposite him, whose eyes were fixed on his face with concern.

“If you say so…I-I just want you to know that, even if it doesn't bring anything, you look really beautiful for me, a-and I would love you to keep yourself healthy. A-and also, If you want to talk about anything, I'm here.” Her voice was unsteady, coming out with a clear sense of anxiety yet despite everything, Jimin somehow felt...safe.

Though even if still inside him, thoughts still revolved around all the possible imperfections that covered his body, for a tiny moment he tried to push away the shame and fear relating to his image. He couldn't lie to himself that the girl's words seemed like a trick to him. Because after all, how could anyone find him beautiful? And yet somehow they resonated with him and he wanted to try and change his perception. Just a tiny bit for her...

They spent the day together. And with every hour that passed, as the girl cared for a Jimin who was tired of everything - he felt more and more comfortable knowing that every second of her presence was inviting him to give her more of his heart.

Each moment they were finding topics occupying their time genuinely. One could say that they were both pulling at each other's tongue. One was finishing, the other was starting. And as much as they both didn't seem to be the most talkative characters, it seemed very different in each other's presence. Looking into each other's eyes as they talked, a sense came over the two of them that this could not have been mere coincidence, but destiny. People didn't simply get to know each other and understand without words from their first meeting, yet from the meeting one night a spark of hope ignited in both hearts, beating with a similar rhythm.

They simply had to meet sooner or later. Because he was made for her and she for him.

#jimin imagine #jimin au #jimin bts #park jimin #jimin fluff #jimin x y/n #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin angst #jimin hurt/comfort #bts hurt/comfort #bts fluff #bts angst #soulmate au

4 notes · View notes

silenttale22 · 7 months

Text

MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND /PJM/ - Chapter 5

Dancer!Jimin x Student!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Slice of life. hurt/comfort, Soulmate!AU, SchoolAU Warnings: Mentions of blood, assault, curses

Note: Hi! If you like and enjoy my story so far, I'd be more than happy and grateful with any interaction!

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 4/CHAPTER 5/CHAPTER 6

You sit in the darkened living room, using your portable lamp to navigate through the pages of the book. Hoping that something will come to mind before tomorrow's small knowledge test, which the lecturer announced a month ago. However, you were well aware that with each of your evening study sessions, you were not necessarily focusing on the lines of the textbook you had been reading. In fact, your thoughts were literally everywhere, just not in that particular room or that particular book. You find yourself continuously re-reading the same paragraph, attempting to comprehend at least half of it, but only finding yourself becoming more lost and increasingly frustrated. You huffed loudly when stupid chemical formula seemed too hard to remember and rubbed your throbbing temple.

“Its not that fucking hard, just focus for once” you grumbled to yourself, barely keeping yourself back from tossing all the papers off your lap and giving it a go. You couldn't, though. As much as you wished to be less stubborn about studying…you promised once that you would get your degree.

But it was a promise for the two of you, not only yourself.

“Y/n, you should have some fun sometimes, you know?” his laugh was soft as your memories went back in time. You were sitting in your old room, everything around for a bit smelled like home again.

“If you want to dance, someone has to provide you with a little more stable financial status to start with, don't you think?” he groaned, pushing off against the doorframe to sit on your unfolded bed, watching as sheets of paper were scattered around you and covered the entire desk.

“You know I'm the older one, right? I should be the one providing” and you chuckled, because you really wished it was actually possible.

“I just want your dreams to come true.” A sigh left his lips, so you knew very well that he had never liked your utter sacrifice just for him. However, both of you had lost too much by then. And it would be nice to at least one you had to fulfill a dream. You knew he deserved to be on stage and you wanted make it true...wanted

“You're my sister Y/n, not my mom” you did not responded that day, aware that this would only lead to an argument.

Deep down you knew that all he was saying was true and made sense... yet still the urge to try to take the place of something you both have lost was stronger.

One slow drop ran down your cheek, that you quickly knocked off with your thumb unable to bear the gently tickling sensation on your skin. It really wasn't another tear of pain or sorrow. Your eyes were just damn tired already, from your night after night of sitting in fake light and a dark room, straining your eyesight unnecessarily. Yet your eyes also need rest.

Or maybe it was a sorrow, which you used to push away for so long?

A loud knock on the door was enough to wake you up for a brief second, but you ignored it eventually, thinking that your imagination playing tricks on you again. Who could be at that late hour at your door anyway. But when the second and third, slightly louder knock sounded, it actually forced you to get up from the couch.

With the pulse racing inside your chest, alerting of a potential unknown threat, you pushed it to the back of your mind, placing the slow-paced footsteps. You stopped in the middle of the dark corridor unsure if you should go closer to the door, listening for signs if anybody was still standing behind. Could it be that the downstairs neighbors had finally become upset at the clumsiness?

Quiet shuffling could still be heard from the hallway, and small glimpses from under the door illuminated her apartment, revealing her bare feet. Your heart was pounding, echoing in your ears. A small lump in your throat was making you worse and worse.

You hesitantly stood, just a few steps away from the wooden surface, and only after a while did you muster the courage to come closer. With somewhat trembling hands, you laid your palm on the polished surface of the door before finally peering out of the Judas to get a glimpse of the figure beyond. The sight of the man's immaculately beautiful visage, slightly distorted by the image, caused your heart to palpitate with even greater ferocity. His eyes seemed terrified, but he didn't move for a long moment. Waiting patiently.

A young man, that was perhaps only some years older than you. Eventually in the same age as you are. His face, with its charmingly filled in cheeks, seemed so delicate to you that you couldn't believe your eyes. His skin seemed almost porcelain, and the man himself seemed to have been pulled straight out of a magazine filled with the world's most beautiful people. For a moment you got a heated desire to simply touch him, to make sure he was for real. Brush or poke with a finger his cheek, or squish it in your hands. Bright hair, which in the light of the hallway's artificial lamps even seemed golden, or rather, shimmering in various shades.

You were literally able to admit that he looked like an angel in human skin with the soft glow of a halo above his head.

But… maybe it's just your imagination

However, as the man standing by the door turned suddenly to begin walking away, a tiny bit of bravery broke through the thick glass and, trying to stop your fast, swallow breathing, you grabbed on the handle, making the door lock click loudly.

An unknown desire to see him in person throbbed in your chest. As soon as you pushed the door open, you knew that you made the right and probably the best decision of your life, because looking at him, standing right in front of you, he seemed even more beautiful than moments before.

As soon as your gazes met, the boy smiled softly at you, evoking a warm shiver running through your body. You saw him for the first time in your life, but a feeling of sudden connection strangely embraced your soul. It felt like with the sudden touch, the coldness that forever coated your body would turn into a pleasant warmth with the contact of his presence. With a glance into his caramel irises, it seemed to you that you had found something you had been missing for so long...that you found home. This sense of homecoming you longed for.

His eyes moment later closed almost fully with the charming grin, and his puckered cheeks became even more spongy, which quickly became a new image for you, by far the best sight of the day. He took a few steps forward, as if to get a better view of your face but you quickly hid more in the darkness of your hallway.

You pushed away all positive thoughts from you with a snap of your fingers. The warmth that wrapped around you for a tiny moment was shoved away. You went back to your usual cold. After all, why should he waste his gaze on a gray, blank face. Even if you tried your best to reciprocate his smile, only a twisted grimace came out.

An uncomfortable fear began to grow in your frame, but the mere sight of the smiling boy seemed to dismiss the unpleasant feeling and fill it with a warm safe embrace.

"Hey, listen I'm Jimin…living floor below and…you know I've recently started hearing odd sounds from your place and yeah...I got, um a little worried" an exceptionally high voice filled with gentleness wrapped around your ears, making gaze want to stare into him even more. It was like a pleasant melody to your ears. You longed to see the details of the nearby angel's face, to hear the soothing voice as often as possible.

Is there anything that might make his persona appear to you as a not-so-surreal miracle.

His words, though, were slow to reach you with their meaning. It was at first as if he was speaking in a language you had never heard, but the both of you seemed to be fluent in the same one.

As it had been so long since someone said something with such care, a nice warmth spread inside for literally seconds after you fully understood. Sadness nonetheless followed the feeling immediately. Why should a stranger worry about you? He didn't even know you, right? And it reaches you, that he probably heard your faulty steps ending in a fall, and perhaps even your crying.

"Um, nice to meet you but you probably misheard, maybe your ears are playing tricks on you. Nothing happened in here. It must have been the wind” you said trying to cover yourself, but it was so hard to get out from your mouth. Painful lump in your throat become a torment.

A strange wish in your mind, and even a desire to just ask him to give you a quick hug, hoping that maybe the golden-haired boy's wings could, at least for a moment, soothe that pain bottled up in your chest every day. With the thought that maybe Jimin, as he said himself, could fill your lonely days at least for a while, since he seemed like the right person to do so.

But you didn't dare.

Not this time.

"Thanks for caring, um, that's nice of you but it was unnecessary." your voice was more like a whisper, just to close the door in front of his face a second later.

With your forehead pressed against the cold surface, you sniffed quietly and rubbed tired eyes, only to look through the Judas at the boy's face another minute. With a sad look, he dropped head, standing barefoot on the staircase for a few more seconds, then turned around and headed, presumably towards his place.

You stood at the door for a long time looking out the small window, even when boy disappeared from your sight. Something inside wouldn't let you just go back to the previous activities. Only when your feet begin to become icy through the wind entering the apartment, through the leaky door, you decide to go back to the living room.

Before your eyes still had the expression on his face just before he walked away. You wondered for a moment if it was a mere coincidence or a sent destiny that pleaded so much. Maybe, after all, the golden-haired Jimin from the same block of flats was to turn out to be the lifeline you just threw away....because who knows if anyone would want to drop it again.

That night your sleep turned out to be nothing more than a dream, as with each half-successful attempt you woke up screaming the boy's name over and over again from your lips. Each time, Jimin would pass out in your arms, and you panicked, unable to help him. With each wake-up call, your heart was squeezed by unmerciful pain, and you yourself had the impression that boy was dying in your lap with each sleep. This could be considered abnormal, but the tears in your eyes and shallow breathing every time you rose on the couch only brought worry.

These dreams seemed too real, even like one that would happen, and that's why you hated them the most. They always happened to recur in reality over time, and that's what you were most afraid of.

More days passed, and you sometimes could hear loud music playing from the floor below more often. Could it be that Jimin was trying to drown out your perpetual stumbles, or that he most simply wanted to forget. Possibly both.

Or it wasn't him at all.

You glanced at yourself in the mirror. Your blank face was reflected in the sheet of fogged glass, where there were now also a few single scratches. It wasn't long ago when you were coming back after lectures, and the hot shower was supposed to be a temporary salvation before you went out again into the raging wind outside. You were getting ready for a few night hours at the factory, pulling on warmer layers of clothes.

It was rare that you got a call asking for an extra shift, much less at night, but this time the boss had personally asked for a long time, and even offered a one-time salary increase, so how could you not agree to something like that. After all, your nights went round without sleep anyway, so in this case at least you will gain some profit from it.

To get there you succeeded in getting hold of one of the night buses, and pleased with the fact that there was only you inside with just two other people, you took one of the seats at the end with a quiet gasp. The city from afar was shimmering with all sorts of hues as the vehicle moved along the bypass road above, showing a better panorama of the city. The thud of the wheels against the slightly holey surface somewhat soothed your senses, along with a cool sensation from your forehead pressed against the cold glass.

The world at night seemed like a completely different place.

A better place.

As you jumped off the bus, a cold wind attacked your face making it hard to get air into your lungs for a moment. You huddled up a bit as if to protect yourself at least a little from the cold air and pressed your nose into a warm scarf that smelled of delicate floral perfume. You moved quickly ahead, wanting to get under the factory buildings as soon as possible.

And you found yourself there a few minutes later, and the shift itself seemed to be the swiftest you had ever had. However, that was quite often the case on night shifts. You didn't have to worry about anything other than putting things in a good cardboard box or flipping it into a good place. It was approaching twelve o'clock at night, and you were just putting another carton on the truck that would leave first thing in the morning.

This time, as your angry boss had explained on the phone the day before, some idiotic employees had completely forgotten doing all this stuff during the day and so he asked trusted people to help. You didn't even really think about how you ended up there, possibly because you had never yet turned down proposals that involved a larger salary.

But you clearly felt the absence of Chris at your side with every night shift. That boy always found some topic of conversation or threw in some not-so-funny jokes, which mostly made your work hours more enjoyable by sounding out the silence in the warehouse anyway.

Late at night, you slowly gathered your things from the locker room and moved quickly toward the bus stop, hoping that at least one of the vehicles would have a route toward your place since the night buses didn't run very often. You walked fast, trying to release sharp pain radiate from the wrists because of the heavy boxes you've been carrying on in the fabric. This pain returns from time to time, when you can't get enough rest.

So it came back today as well.

As you reached the small glass building, you prayed in your spirit not to stand another hour waiting for the transport. Fortunately, you found one, which sadly stopped a dozen streets earlier, so a short distance to your block you had to walk anyway. But that actually seemed to be the least of the problems.

Unlike last time, you were literally sitting alone, not counting the driver, in one of the last seats. Once again you watched the flashing, colorful lights of Busan, which always in some strange way, at least for a moment, took your breath away.

You stared at the passing road, feeling your eyelids slowly begin to droop with fatigue, until the bus stopped at the last stop. You thanked and bid goodbye to the driver, then jumped off the steps onto the sidewalk. When the bus pulled away, you stood for a moment to look around and move in the right direction and get to your apartment as quickly as possible.

You clenched hands tightly on the straps of the leather backpack, feeling how the cold hit your back pushing even further forward. You shuffled through as fast as you could down the road, only to hear a disconcerting sound literally two streets in before your block, making your body tense with uncertainty.

The road in the neighborhood wasn't one with the best lighting, and although you knew the path by heart, it was difficult to get rid of the anxiety wrapped around your throat. Your muscles tightened, and your next steps, far slower than before, came with difficulty as you approached the alarming words. You felt like freezing, but didn't sure if it was because of the cold wind or the fear brining you shivers.

From one small alley, shadows reflected on the walls, and from a dead end you heard taunts and a few painful moans after a while. Your breathing automatically sped up even more, causing you to clench your hands tighter. One piece of mind told you to run as far away as possible - preferably straight home, but something held you back.

So eventually, with your heart on your shoulder, crouched down hiding behind a corner. Trying to lower your voice by putting a scarf over your mouth, you wanted to pretend as best you could to the approaching police officers

"I heard some alarming sounds," you said, and for the first time you thanked in spirit that she was gifted with a low alto vocal, as the sudden panic around the corner added to your confidence. "Get ready with your gun" now more in a whisper, worrying that it would be too obvious, however not....

The two boys, for sure younger even than you, ran as if scalded out of the alley, not even looking around, almost tripping over their own feet. You had a hard time settling your breathing when you poked head out from around the corner. On the ground was a boy lying heavily breathing with a visibly bloodied face. You ran up quickly to make sure he was conscious and how urgent help he needed. Your heart was beating fast against the cage as you crouched down beside the shaking body, and quiet sobs escaped his lips.

"Hey, i'll help you okay," you said, touching his shoulder uncertainly, and the boy turned his head uncertainly to look at you.

You held your breath, and tears came to your eyes as you unsurely took the poor light-haired man's face in your hands. The color was drained from his face, only a brief mark of blood colored it. The tightness in your throat made it difficult to say anything as the shining brown eyes tearfully stared into yours, gently reaching out and clasping hand on your jacket.

You felt like whining when a quiet moan escaped his lips as you tried to lift him for the first time. He wasn't heavy, but your fright and slight fatigue made it difficult for you to do anything, but in this one you were reminded of your dream.

And you promised yourself that you would not let him die. And certainly not like this.

So you wrapped your arms more tightly around his body, trying to stabilize the boy's position and, in the process, not wanting to damage anything else. And as the both of you got to your feet, a small smile was sent in your direction.

"Jimin-ssi please tell me you're able to walk," a painful whisper left your lips, as you somehow stopped yourself from crying for good. The man raised his head uncomfortably and looked at you with his warm eyes and nodded taking the first step, but his body wobbled making you clench your fingers tighter on his coat.

Your heart shattered into tiny pieces when a muffled moan came out of Jimin's mouth with each tiny step. You regretted, regretted like hell, that you didn't grab some kind of stick and smack these two unthinking idiots over the head.

"I'll take you home, I promise," you whispered, holding onto him as stably as you could. You recommended that he lean his weight on you, making it easier for him to take steps, and fortunately he listened.

The road seemed endless, because aside from the boy breathing getting rougher and rougher, the weather seemed to be getting worse and worse. Striking gusts of wind and making it difficult for the two of you to catch your balance.

When you finally managed to knock in the code to enter the stairwell, a small relief settled on your shoulders. This was the first time you were so glad to have an elevator in the block, as you easily managed to get the boy into the apartment.

You sat him down on the living room couch and looked worriedly at his face, gently holding his jaw. Despite a few wounds on his cheeks, you still couldn't deny that the boy was beautiful. You stared at his face without shame, feeling pleasant tangling inside your chest, but when another grunt left his lips, you snapped back cursing under your breath.

“I should take him to the hospital” You murmured under your breath as you stood up but he was quick to hold your hand, making another shiver attack your body.

“I'll be fine, there's no need” quiet voice came to your ears, fingers still holding onto yours

“You can have broken ribs!” you whined but he refused it, only asking if he can stay here today.

And you let him.

That night you didn't spend on studying, but bandaging and watching over Jimin. As the boy fell asleep peacefully on your couch, breathing steadily, mumbling something under his breath from time to time and smiling. It was the first time in a long time that you felt so responsible for someone. And after hours you found yourself staring at him again, memorizing every detail. These little freckles over his nose, how his cheeks puffed even more when he was pouting while sleeping. He was breathtaking. And you for the first time wanted to wake up every day…just for him. Angel sends you to learn how to appreciate every single detail.

#park jimin #jimin x reader #jimin x y/n #jimin x you #jimin fluff #jimin hurt/comfort #jimin angst #jimin imagine #jimin au #bts fluff #bts angst #bts au #bts fanfic

7 notes · View notes

silenttale22 · 7 months

Text

MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND /PJM/ - Chapter 4

Dancer!Jimin x Student!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Slice of life. hurt/comfort, Soulmate!AU, School!AU Warnings: Mentions of ED(not directly),

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 3/CHAPTER 4/CHAPTER 5

It was so much harder for Jimin to focus on his tasks.

The practice sessions were getting even worse by how often he lost his balance, and because of that - Hoseok got angrier and more worried about his friend state each time. But at the same time, however, he was still responsible for their performance, by virtue of the fact that he is in a higher year and it was he himself who selected Jimin as a partner, so eventual by repeated mistakes, with a burden on his heart to pay more and more attention to the other dancer.

Jimin unfortunately, more and more regularly caught himself thinking about the girl from the flat above him. Being away from home, there was this strange feeling of unease clinging to his chest. He just wanted to be sure that the girl was safe and secure. Being out for practice, instead of being focused on the steps as usual, Jimin wondered more like what it would be like to finally meet her face to face.

As he were coming back at his place, rather than concentrating on what he should be doing, again - he would catch himself staring at the ceiling, or looking out of the window to see if the legs from the floor above weren't dangling again.

Last night, once again, he heard a loud bang as if a body had hit the floor. Almost directly above his head as he sat on the sofa in the evenings, staring at the television screen or scrolling through something on his phone. What he could not understand was why it also repeated itself every night somewhere just above his bed. This is what often kept him awake at night. With each closing of an eye, the worst possible thoughts went through his head.

Because he was worried.

He was so freaking worried about a complete stranger in the upper flat being okay. Jimin wanted to be sure that this girl wouldn't cry again all night.

It was becoming a regular thing for him, not only out of concern but also out of curiosity, to climb the stairs to the floor above in the middle of the night, wearing his wide pajama trousers and the first better sweatshirt he found crumpled up in the wardrobe when another bang sounded. Sometimes he felt like a total creep. But he ignored this feeling so many times already, just to came at the door, which in the corridor was in the same place as his. He stared at it uncertainly, putting his hand gently against the cold surface. The cool tiles beneath his feet were not making him feel comfortable at all, but he wanted to stand by that door himself.

He wanted to react in time but in the end never dared to do so. He would walk away with his head lowered as he failed once again.

Each time, he kept going back to the flat, trying to tell himself that he was doing the right thing. After all, he shouldn't be meddling in someone else's life, but rather get on with his own and stop worrying about everyone around him. He would have liked so much to be neutral about people, but he couldn't. He suffered along with the suffering next to him.

He was haunted by a paradox because as much as he hated this feeling, on the other hand, he was glad that he could feel more than the rest of the society around him.

Sometimes he was able to see something that others missed. He was able to find the beauty of the small things. This is what those closest to him sometimes valued in him, but there were not many individuals who appreciated this. Maybe that was why, despite everything, Jimin trusted only a few people.

His days passed in the same way. And as much as he would like to get rid of this tiresome monotony, the man knew he couldn't allow himself to do so. That's why he got up every morning with a grimace on his face, trying to awaken his senses, which were increasingly difficult to tame through half-sleep. Day after day, Jimin, along with his friend, would rush off to practice and pour out his sweats until late evenings because he wanted to do his best. Boy could never leave anything unpolished. Because of this, also when he had no other plans, he was able to stay up late at night until someone from the reception staff came personally to shove him out. Most often around one in the morning.

He was always too stubborn and damn ambitious. Moreover, some people used to tell him that he was a workaholic, or sometimes he heard whispers like that behind his back. But he didn't see it that way at all. He simply was determined to be better. And also, didn't want to waste the precious time he had. And maybe often did this simply to ignore the thoughts that tortured him, and when he tired himself out physically…the mental pain became silent at least for a while. And maybe he also spent long hours pouring out his sweats so that he would never again be told how useless and lazy he was, because that would tear him apart even more.

That day he made it to the apartment roughly after ten in the evening. Right before getting in, he heard from Hoseok by the quick call that tomorrow could be taken as a day off for both of them. The first day off in a long time, and the boy already hated it sincerely.

Although he was able to sit a little longer that evening to stare at the muted TV, which every now and then changed colors illuminating his tired face, his head was troubled not only by the fact that he himself doesn't know what he was going to do with himself the next day, but the sounds from upstairs still didn't stop. The loud noises, coming from time to time, taunted his thoughts and made chills run through his spine. He was already heartily sick off.

He was tired of worrying about someone who didn't know he existed.

Jimin jumped up from the couch to take a quick shower and calm his thoughts. On a lousy note. So in the end, he decided to pull on his most basic sweatpants and a loose T-shirt so that his belly, which he considered too protruding with the idea that once again his feet would be standing in front of a stranger's door. With a few quick strokes, he brushed his fair hair and glanced at himself in the hallway mirror multiple times before grasping the doorknob, breathing in deeply, and striding towards the door with the number twenty-one.

Once again, he hesitated a good ten minutes, asking himself whether he should knock or just let it go and go back to his apartment again with his tail tucked.

This time, however, he found the courage.

One tap, a second, a third. He took his hand away, feeling all the air stop in his lungs. Behind the apartment door, the constant sounds suddenly quieted, and saliva struggled to pass through his throat. He felt the heavy knot tighten in his stomach making nausea set in. Jimin pressed his hands to the chest, trying to calm the heart that was going crazy inside. An exhausted gasp, as the absence of air began to wear him down. He bit his lip when no one opened for him for a long moment, and his hopes of at least a moment of peace flew away as quickly as they had come.

Maybe he should let it go after all, and not make an idiot of himself as usual.

He turned on his heel and began to step away from the door. His bare feet hesitantly tiptoed on the tiles, slower than planned hoping that maybe he would make it anyway. On the one hand, he longed to see this girl who was crying every night, maybe hold her in arms for a while and make the pain go away. But apparently that was not what was written in this scenario.

When he was at the end of the corridor, ready to jump off the first step, the clack of a lock and the hesitant pressure on the doorknob came to his ears. His head quickly snapped to see toward the ajar door. He was now damn thankful to have such good hearing and to be limiting the louder music on his in-ear headphones.

He stopped and his feet suffered badly from the cold of the tiles, chilly shivers flooded his tense body. Jimin tried to strain his gaze when the light on the sensor suddenly went out, and only after his unsure movement a small figure appeared to him in the doorway.

She was even shorter than he was, and her cheeks were adorably chubby. Shoulder-length hair framed her face, and her chocolate-like eyes, which he noticed as he approached a few steps, drilled a hole in him. Gently he smiled at her, but she kept her grave expression. Her fair skin made the purple streaks under her eyes even more visible even without strong lighting, but to the blonde man she became the most beautiful in the world in a second.

Jimin took a few more steps to be closer, causing her to hide a bit more behind the door, not wanting the fatigue or the tear marks on her cheeks, which she had wiped off her cheek moments earlier, to be noticed. However, this was one of the first things the boy noticed. It did not scare him away. In fact, it gave him a little more urge to step into her life and embrace her with the promise of help. While he still hadn't seen her, he felt like giving her a piece of his happy self. A self he hadn't seen in a long time. Now it was his little desire. To make a smile appear on her face, and the tiredness all together with sadness finally disappear.

"Hey, listen I'm Jimin…living floor below and…you know, I've recently started hearing odd sounds from your place and yeah…I got, um a little bit worried" said in a slightly squeaky voice, causing him to cringe in his mind for this and the unwelcome chilly tone he did.

"Um, nice to meet you but you probably misheard, maybe your ears are playing tricks on you. Nothing happened in here. It must have been the wind” she said with a quiet, soft voice that charmed the boy from the first word. "Thanks for caring, like, yeah, that's really nice of you but it was unnecessary.” She whispered and quickly closed the door behind her.

He looked sadly at the door, unaware that she was still looking at him through the Judas. Dropping his head resignedly, he turned on his heel, moving towards his apartment. Jimin slammed his door rather loudly, making him hear unpleasant curses from the place right next door, where the mean old man lived, whom the blond man damn well hated. He went back to his room, turning off the TV in the living room on the way, which really wasn't needed there at all. Throwing himself on the bed and stared at the ceiling was the only thing to do.

Every time he thought about it all, he knew he wanted to go there again. To see her again, to hear her voice again and again. The burning feeling inside chest start to growing more and more. He would like to stop her cries at all costs, but he had no idea how to go back under apartment number twenty-one and knock three times to see this lovely chubby face. Another thought about the girl from the apartment above was clasping his head until his eyes began to dim and his body was getting sleepy. A good few minutes later, he was drowsed by a dream in which a girl with chocolate eyes appeared.

But his sleep that night was broken all the freaking time. He woke up almost every hour, flipping over the bed and being unable to find the right spot. When, the next day, he pulled himself up to sit sore on the mattress around eight o'clock he was more tired than if he had stayed awake. However, out of the wisps of his dreams, both a pleasantly warm feeling and stabbing images haunted his body. The face of the girl from the apartment above appeared in his mind every time he closed his eyes.

The strange feeling stayed with him while lying down. As if arms were embracing him around the waist when he was losing consciousness just before falling asleep, brought with it the hope that this person would be right next to him in real life. Not just in daydreams. But as usual, Jimin overreached himself, so grudgingly he had to get up from the warmed mattress and head for the kitchen to eat a reasonably healthy and hearty meal that would last him until eight o'clock.

Even if the boy had the day off, he couldn't stay at home. He knew that sooner or later his head would not allow him to sit idly by, only to bear the pangs of guilt throwing themselves tearfully in the middle of his thoughts later in the evening before going to sleep. He always had to do something, not even caring about taking a break.

So the boy, getting ready quickly in his apartment, pecking at his food from time to time, which he didn't eat in its entirety anyway, ran out of his place and headed into town to run some outstanding errands. His documents applying for another position as a dance teacher still lay stuffed in his bag. Hoping that one time when passing by the school where he teaches, will he dare to apply to be a teacher of senior groups, not just juniors. Yet every time Jimin stood in front of the headmaster's door, his body would freeze in place. And so it was today. His face pointed toward the dark wooden door, but his hand hung in the air

“Oh, hello Jimn-ssi, thought you're off today” woman's voice startled him, as his body jumped slightly hitting the wall with his elbow so the quiet hiss left lips

The figure of one of the girls teaching the other group of juniors stood right in front of him, wiping her work up with a sweat forehead using a towel. He took a quick glance at her slim body curved into tight clothes and gulped hardly. A gentle smile adorned her face, which was gently flushed pink by the exertion.

Jimin wanted to run away.

“Hello, um I'm just passing by” he send a small smile, massaging hurting arm

“Ah, got it! So maybe you'd like to get a coffee with me?” she asked with a high tone in voice, grinning from ear to ear, but Jimin's face twitched a bit

“I'd love to, but I don't really have much time today” he lied, wanting to disappear in a second when the girls cheeks started to take red flush over her cheeks and a grin changed into surprised face

“Then another time maybe?” she didn't give up, and the boy felt like groaning in irritation

“We'll see, now I really have to go! See ya!” he mumbled all the words together and rushed to the exit, wanting to be as far as he could just to avoid another conversation with anyone.

His legs, after walking a few more kilometers on their own, headed in the direction of the gym where he could get away from the whole world by pulling the headphones over his ears and running a dozen kilometers on the treadmill, shutting off his head at least for a moment and focusing on well-placed steps.

Sweat ran down his back and his legs with every movement continued to refuse to cooperate, but the boy ignored the pain by clenching his jaw tightly and stuck his gaze behind the glass placed just in front of the treadmill watching the trees swaying behind it.

As the sky outside the window began to take on shades of darker gray, his finger lowered the speed, eventually turning off the device altogether and plopping down on solid ground wobbling uncertainty on his own feet. His hand gripped the handle firmly as his body refused to serve, and momentary stars flashed before his eyes.

Jimin shook his head in an attempt to drive away the unpleasant feeling clenching his head, took a deep breath, took a few sips of water from the bottle and after a few minutes headed to the locker room for a cold shower. But with streams of water running down his body, thoughts began to slowly flood his head. Returning once again to the chocolate irises of the girl under twenty-one.

With a rather frumpy mood, he returned to the apartment, throwing all his clothes into the bathroom and headed for the living room, ignoring the loud rumble in his stomach. On the TV, he set it off on the music channel, putting it on the highest volume, not caring at this point about the old neighbor from the apartment next door or the new noises coming from upstairs. He wanted to cut himself off completely from the damn world. He wanted to experience blissful silence, at least for a while.

7 notes · View notes

silenttale22 · 7 months

Note

Istg I don't understand why your fic mhbtw doesn't get much recognition !! I love itttt please don't feel discouraged by the lack of response/feedback ♡

I love u lots take careeeeeee

Hi there!

Thank you, it means really a lot to me! Message like this really make me write even more and work harder - AND I WILL, I PROMISE🥺

Love u, and thank you so so much one more time <3

#silenttale22answers

0 notes

silenttale22 · 7 months

Text

MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND /PJM/ - Chapter 4

Dancer!Jimin x Student!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Slice of life. hurt/comfort, Soulmate!AU, School!AU Warnings: Mentions of ED(not directly),

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 3/CHAPTER 4/CHAPTER 5

It was so much harder for Jimin to focus on his tasks.

Because he was worried.

He was so freaking worried about a complete stranger in the upper flat being okay. Jimin wanted to be sure that this girl wouldn't cry again all night.

He wanted to react in time but in the end never dared to do so. He would walk away with his head lowered as he failed once again.

He was haunted by a paradox because as much as he hated this feeling, on the other hand, he was glad that he could feel more than the rest of the society around him.

He was tired of worrying about someone who didn't know he existed.

Once again, he hesitated a good ten minutes, asking himself whether he should knock or just let it go and go back to his apartment again with his tail tucked.

This time, however, he found the courage.

Maybe he should let it go after all, and not make an idiot of himself as usual.

“Oh, hello Jimn-ssi, thought you're off today” woman's voice startled him, as his body jumped slightly hitting the wall with his elbow so the quiet hiss left lips

Jimin wanted to run away.

“Hello, um I'm just passing by” he send a small smile, massaging hurting arm

“Ah, got it! So maybe you'd like to get a coffee with me?” she asked with a high tone in voice, grinning from ear to ear, but Jimin's face twitched a bit

“Then another time maybe?” she didn't give up, and the boy felt like groaning in irritation

“We'll see, now I really have to go! See ya!” he mumbled all the words together and rushed to the exit, wanting to be as far as he could just to avoid another conversation with anyone.

#park jimin #jimin fluff #jimin x reader #jimin imagine #jimin bts #jimin x y/n #jimin x you #bts au #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #jimin angst #jimin hurt/comfort

7 notes · View notes

silenttale22 · 7 months

Text

27K notes · View notes

silenttale22 · 8 months

Text

MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND /PJM/ - Chapter 3

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 2/CHAPTER 3/CHAPTER 4

You stared in grief and disappointment at the beloved mug you had gotten from him for Christmas two years back. The last and most important souvenir was lying broken beneath the feet as the back was pressing harder onto the cabinet, sitting curled up in a corner of the kitchen furniture. And the hatred towards yourself became even stronger.

Once again, cheeks were ornamented with invisible paths, where drops flowed freely and dripped onto the icy tiles, slowly forming a tiny puddle. You pulled up your legs under your chin hiding a heartbroken face in your knees. It felt like losing everything you cared about because of the damned clumsiness that was haunting you.

And you were slowly sick of it.

You wished to scream, to hit something near around you but nothing like that came. Only a few second spent on the ground, digging nails into the naked skin of your legs made you came up with another idea of shaking the pain and anger out.

With barely a breath, pick yourself up from the cold floor and leave the kitchen with a wobbly walk, not even worrying about the pieces of glass sticking into your bare feet. You made a way to the bathroom, desperately seeking around for some relief.

And finally you turned on the bath tap and set it to the hottest temperature to get your arms wet there. The hot water actually burned your skin, but did you care about it? Non even a bit. You only took longer to hold hands under the boiling water to give yourself a little pain.

It was your own fault.

Everything was.

As you were always the first one to get scolded and punished for things you've never done - the habit of collecting scorn on back was something usual. And as you didn't want to end the tradition so you kept punishing yourself.

Years ago you was about to say that old habits won't come back to you. That he was your helping hand and with it you're finally became completely fine. But it was until he left, left so unexpectedly leaving your heart break, and your body on the cold surface of life. Even If you know he never meant that, your heart is still missing. And when everything around was doing great, moving forward your time stopped. It's all became more like surviving than living, and you hate that, yet it was hard for you to change anything.

And after loss, the only thing you wanted to do was scream, yet voice was stuck deep down your throat. There was this heartbreak and disbelief that threw you in every possible corner, not knowing which one would be keen on listening to your coming back cries. Goodbyes still stay on your tongue, but the thought that you're not going to say it out loud get to you every time. And it's so, so hard to hold back this sharp pain inside.

It took long minutes until you turned off the water and curled up on the bathroom rug, looking terrified at your hands. Delicate red stripes decorated now usually soft, delicate skin. More and more, this feeling that everything was weighing you down lingered to you unpleasantly, but after all, you wanted to be able to cope all alone. Without anyone's help.

But here, life was slowly getting out of control, and as it was normal for you. Even if a little bit of hope sometimes wandered through your mind. Yet…for the past year, balancing life and death has become a favorite thing to do. You couldn't help but feel damn good about doing yourself something harmful.

This was another time as you did it. It's happened to you really often lately, definitely more often than it should have. But not only the harm was something, that linger to you but also the sleepless nights. It was so often when the middle of the night, you were falling out off the couch, unable to catch a breath, because inside your dreams someone would tighten their hands around neck, making you lose consciousness. Sometimes even you did it to yourself. As you tried to drown into the bathtub, wishing for slow, suffering death.

And again, all you could do was blame yourself for this. After all, it was your destructive thoughts that drove so many times to the last edge of life, from which you managed to miraculously jump away at the ending moment.

You were lost, no longer able to find even a part of your happy self.

Raising eyes high, and looking into the empty, dark space spreading behind the open bathroom door. Unpleasant pain went down your spine, so a quiet whine left lips right away. Only after a while, you eventually got up to the feet, pressing palms tightly to your chest before moving to the living room. So you just found a regular spot like every evening. Always sitting here alone, because you couldn't count on anyone. Why would you though, when everyone around became distant or busy with themselves.

But that's what you wanted, right? Being alone.

On that night, you didn't even find the strength to open all these books waiting for you to study line by line again. So simply sitting up all night and staring at the emptiness in front of you seemed like an amazing idea. You didn't realize that for a good hour, someone had been sitting at the door of your apartment, gently tapping with fingers onto the wooden door. Hesitating, arguing with himself, not knowing if a knock would be, indeed, the right thing to do.

At the end, he let the thought go, and headed off in the direction of his apartment. Worrying all night that he left you crying alone without anyone around.

The next day, this time around five o'clock, the alarm rang. But this morning it was completely useful, you didn't need it at all. You were pretty quick to get on your feet, ignoring the pain in your spine from the constant uncomfortable sitting. As you set off to the kitchen, a weird feeling filled with loneliness hugged you, but as usual you brushed it off.

Little sniff left, while rubbing those tired eyes - trying once again not to cry. After all, you've been doing this all night, you should be running out of things to cry about by now.

Coldness in the kitchen welcomed you as a good friend, with its bleak walls and bleached cupboards. You grabbed a broom, and picked up a gray cup with a small teddy bear hugging a red heart that had been smashed on the floor. Another tear dropped onto the floor together with the curse from your lips, as the tearing eyes were blurring your sight. At the end, you tossed everything into the trash with a tight pain in heart hoping that maybe it would give some kind of relief.

It didn't.

So you took only some sips of water in the kitchen, and moved to get dressed. Pulling basic black sweats over your legs, wrapping hands in a thick layer of bandages just to prevent some from hurting at work, and at the end put a thick dark gray sweatshirt over your head.

Baggily and raggedly - amazing look.

Out of the corner of your eye, you glanced at the clock hanging in the living room. Slowly running out of time to leave the apartment and not miss the bus, which you found most comfortable to take to reach the factories owned by the city, giving the only place where you could work as a student.

But eventually, you left the apartment with a bag in your teeth and halfly put on a jacket, as you fixed your attention on something behind the window, forgetting to look at the clock. So as you managed to jump on the bus on time stress was driving you crazy, and heart pounded fast into chest. Only the landscapes behind the window were calming your heart rate, as you found one place at the back of the bus. Sun was rising slowly, spilling on the sky with hues of warm colours, warming your soul a little bit as well.

As you jump out of the bus, the colder than into the city temperature quickly wrapped around you, so hugging yourself with hands, you walked into the fabric to begin your shift. 7a.m. popped on the clock when a high-visibility waistcoat was on your back instead of a jacket - you were perfectly on time. But as you came deeper into the magazines, the usual heavy stares of older men were driving you crazy.

This shitty rule that a woman can't carry heavy boxes, or in general shouldn't even leave her home for work, and do as some housewife. But if you really want it so much, like really just want to work to provide for yourself - should walk around in skimpy clothes as a waitress and allow everyone to be touched on the back of the body. Fucking human backwardness, where most women still have no right to their own self-expression.

How pathetic.

With a quick step, you reached the right section, where you met with a brief smile from the boy you use to have shifts. And who was most probably the only one here that was…well, tolerating you. Showing up a little bit of sympathy. He was the same age as you, or at least that's what you could understand when you've been talking to each other from time to time during short breaks. This week, his hair was more like an oxidized blond color, but you could have sworn that just a few days ago it was a pure gray.

On the first day, he introduced himself as Christopher, saying he was born in Australia, but had moved to Korea with his family, and that's how you both end up in here together, moving cardboard boxes to the appropriate shelves or marked trucks.

The work itself wasn't that hard, especially when you used to do it for some time now, but for you today became extremely impossible to bear, as arms burned mercilessly from yesterdays 'fun' even if so many bandages were around them. And the blond-haired man noticed more than once that there was a grimace of pain and exhaustion on his friend's face. So Chris tried really hard to help you if only no one was watching, always taking the cardboard boxes out of your hands and quickly carrying them to the right places. And you may never have said it out loud, but you were damn grateful to him even if on your face there was a big disagreement.

When it was time for a twenty-minute break, both of you got to the small cafeteria. You pulled up the sleeves to see if there's something wrong with the bandages, but they were still tightly wrapped around arms. And it made you concerned a bit, because usually after burning the pain should not last so long.

With your head full of thoughts, after finding yourself a place at the distant corner, you sat down at the empty table only to hide face in hands and left a loud huff. Chatters were loud inside your mind.

Trying to finally get all bearings and push them onto the outer corner of the mind seemed impossible, and furthermore, attempting to silence the rumbling stomach that had already been grumbling about the lack of nourishment for a while proved to be a hassle.

Another rumble coming from your stomach caused you to groan, yet as if out of thin air, a steaming dish appeared before your eyes. Head spun at the amazing smell that came to your nostrils, and the pleasant warmth of the steam hugged your face. Surprised, you raised your head to see a tired face with a gentle smile and a small dimple on the right cheek.

A quiet 'enjoy' came to your ears from Chris when he took a spot across from you, but his eyes were still on you.

“You're not going to eat?” his question snapped you back to reality, as you instead of getting on with eating the surely delicious dakgejang, kept staring at him in disbelief.

And you simply didn't know what to do. Whether should croak out a silent - thank you - or whether should nonetheless throw your arms around his neck in thanks since this was the first time in more than a year that someone had bought her food despite her grumpy behaviour. And it made you happy in some way. Because damn, it was so rare to meet people being kind from nowhere.

But eventually, you decided on the former and with a trembling voice thanked him for the meal and began to chew the dish slowly.

“You're not used to this, right?” his voice sounded again, asking gently. Another time bringing you a lot of confusion.

“What do you mean?” you wanted to sound as soft as him, but only an unpleasant croak left your throat.

“To someone trying to help” eyes widened, and you couldn't look at him. So the rest of the break was silent.

His gaze falling on your face was no longer discomforting, and his presence through such a small gesture made the warmth you once knew so well spill inside. It was nice to feel what it was like to have a friend again. Even though it was no big deal in this case.

“Sometimes it's better to ask for help, than suffer alone mate” you heard Chris speaking up, as he stood up and with a smile ran quicker, to move more cartoons and make the job easier for you.

And you couldn't lie, that it almost made you tear up. Not only his acts, but his words. Because you've always been taught to get everything done by yourself as there is no one to help you.

Work finished at ten-thirty today, and you were overtaken by momentary joy when the notification about the canceled classes at the university popped up on your phone screen. But after a while, you were surprised again when, as being already heading to the bus stop, Christopher caught you right on time, to invite you for a warm tea with lemon and ginger at a nearby café.

It was pleasant doing something different than getting back to the empty apartment and being welcomed only by the always opened books. And for all that with Chris it seemed much more comfortable than with people you used to know for years…with someone so called your friend. You're rather laughing about something stupid with him, than looking at people who bite their tongue trying not to ‘hurt your feelings’. You don't want pity, never wanted to be treat like an egg. The words as “It will be okay” prompt you even more to cut all the ties and live alone.

So the small meeting like that brush up the moments, when you really liked going out. With not really a close friends, but at least leaving four wall for a while to forget the shitty things going on inside your head.

You had spent a good two hours together with boy, and to tell the truth, you were more than glad that you agreed. You were again - for a while, able to get away from the stress that was building up on all sides. To forget about the aching pain inside your chest.

But it wasn't for long.

On your way back to the apartment, all the negativity of life was back. Body starts to hurt again, and so does your soul. It was hard for you to get straight to the apartment. As you reached the door, the only thing you could do was dragging yourself down the hallway, just to trip again on the bloody carpet. So you lay in the living room for a while, playing with the protruding threads. Eventually, sitting down on the obviously dented couch. Hoping for a moment that at least tonight the evening would be a quiet one.

In fact, you spent that whole night pondering over the books, since anyways, you had to go to lectures tomorrow and show off the knowledge that you've been gaining every freaking night. Or at least that's what you're always planning for yourself.

In the end, you'll probably be too tired to raise a hand to come forward and answer a question from a professor delivering his well-planned lecture about dangerous social diseases for humans. It's funny that you could talk about some of them completely freely, even giving examples from your life, but even if a case like that would appear, you'd never dared to do so.

#jimin x reader #jimin fluff #park jimin #bts jimin #jimin x you #jimin x y/n #jimin hurt/comfort #jimin imagine #bts fluff #bts angst #bts au #bts fanfic #soulmate au

6 notes · View notes

silenttale22 · 8 months

Text

110 notes · View notes

silenttale22 · 8 months

Text

MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND /PJM/ - Chapter 2

Dancer!Jimin x Student!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Slice of life. hurt/comfort, Soulmate!AU, School!AU Warnings: Mention of SA (but its only a slight mention, I promise), insecurity, mention of ED

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 1/CHAPTER 2/CHAPTER 3

It was another late night evening, when he was watching colorful TV screen filled with boredom. Time to time, the other thing he had done was clicking stridently on buttons of the remote control, when he got irritated with a particular channel once again. After finding anything interesting - which was rare for a long moment, he threw the remote control on the couch and reached out for a glass of water with a lemon pressed inside. Alone with himself, staring straight ahead into the changing colors screen as darkness covered his face, when some darker kind of scene appeared on. Only from time to time cars driving outside brought a little more light inside.

He sighed softly, and even jumped slightly on the couch at times when the louder sound coming from the box hanging in front scared him literally for a second. After a few times, including one, when he spilled water on himself because of the jumpscare, the decision of turning it off and staying in the whole darkness was made. After a few minutes of sitting like that, he became sleepy, and when he saw 10 p.m. on the lighten up watch, he jumped to his feet, stretching with a loud yawn. He groaned quietly, being well aware of the upcoming classes since the next morning.

After getting up and taking the first step, one of his feet was now experiencing the hated tingling sensation of sitting in an uncomfortable position for too long. He tried to get rid of it as soon as possible, waving his leg in all directions, sometimes jumping stupidly, so that the annoying feeling would finally leave him. This type of sensation was common after his dancing classes, when his muscles were not properly stretched.

And yeah, he again bypassed stretching after college classes, just to get ready in a rush for another training in the dance studio where he was also working. He simply couldn't help it. He loved his job as he could not only flower his own passion, but also pass it on to someone else. It was his favorite place in entire world. When he could watch how young kids are hard working and chasing their dreams. Often taking him as a mentor. It makes his heart sing happily every damn time.

He sighed again and went to the bathroom for a short shower, no longer than ten minutes, which after a long day was a relief for him. Steam was now hovering in the room, and a few funny doodles appeared on the fogged-up mirror, which the blond man drew with a quiet giggle while brushing his teeth. It was his way of relax. Even if after a giggles he's going to fall on his bed with hard thoughts.

After a few minutes, he was lying in a warmed bed, looking at the shadows dancing on the ceiling, and his ears perked up with wonder, if another disturbing sound would resonate tonight. Every time he heard loud bangs or broken glasses in one of the apartments above his, a shiver and an uneasy feeling ran through his body. More than once, he wanted to throw off the duvet and go up a few stairs and knock on the door of the apartment with the number 21.

Today, though, he flinched, and his breathing quickened along with his eyes opened wide now. When a quiet, almost unable to hear sniffling sound came up to his ears. He threw the blanket away, exposing his feet to the cold floor. It's been a while since he thought about getting a carpet to avoid this feeling. A shiver ran through his spine, but he ignored it and got to his feet.

He staggered for literally a second, then began to step straight to the window. It was ajar, which is probably why any of the sounds could have come from outside. At first, he thought that someone was just passing the building, someone overwhelmed with emotions. It was common this late at night.

He cracked open the window wide and peered out while firmly resting his elbows on the wooden windowsill. Some drops of the rain fell on his nose, and wind pushed his hair back. But then a quiet whimpering and sniffling could be heard in his ears again. He also had the impression that it slowly turned into a pleading sob.

The unpleasant stinging feeling inside his chest almost brought tears to tired eyes. Jimin was always a person filled with sensitivity and strong empathy, but he hardly ever wanted to show it. As people seemed it as if something weak. But today, he really won at that point in some way. Because he could imagine what the person can feel. Which made him hurt. But he was in some way happy, thinking that this person isn't alone at all.

Yet more than often he hated it about himself. People always told him that this was the thing that made him so weak, but he never understood why. Why must feelings be his weakness? After all, in people's minds, the word "empathy" is increasingly spelled as "sympathy."

The last thing you can count on now is understanding from the other person.

But it wasn't something he was thinking about today. Today he was only concerned about someone else's feelings and how badly he wanted to help. There was no picture of how to at all; and the only thing he had was an urge inside his head to make someone feel better. But when he couldn't see anyone on the sidewalk under his windows, still hearing muffled crying, he began to think he was going crazy.

A strong wind blew into him, winnowing the boy's dyed blond hair again, pushing face up a little.. So he lifted his head up to see if maybe there was a reason why he could hear the sobs so clearly. And yeah, two bare feet hung from the windowsill. He felt as if he had forgotten how to breathe for a moment. Questions crossed his mind about whether the person from the apartment above him was planning to take their life or was just sitting there without fear of falling from such a height.

The trees outside swayed like crazy, parts of the branches lay broken under thick trunks that were clearly visible from his apartment. Lightning flashing in the distance lit up the entire sky, causing another shiver. Rain was pouring, making the boy's face wet more and more. Since he can remember, he has hated thunderstorms, which have always filled his soul with unnecessary fear. It was different with the rain itself, the sound of which often soothed and lulled his soul. But now the dark clouds and thunder that hit like crazy were not calming him even a bit.

He wanted to ask only a quick question—why—even though there was much more than one in his mind. He bit his lip harshly until he felt the metallic taste of blood on his tongue. He grimaced immediately at the unpleasant flavor and moved away from the window, closing it quickly. He went back to bed and thought for a long time about what happened tonight. For hours, the wind and thunder took him away from falling asleep. Strong bliss was constantly whistling through poorly sealed frames. Eventually, he gritted his teeth and tried to fall asleep but even so...head was pounding inside painfully.

In the morning, around seven, a loud alarm clock ringer from his smartphone woke him up. The blond man groaned and quickly tried to turn it off. However, when he could not blindly hit the right button, he muttered under his breath and turned along with the blinding phone to the other side.

He knew very well that even if he wanted to, he wouldn't take a long nap. So he only lied with closed eyes, groaning from time to time and nuzzling his nose deeper into the pillow. He knew that someone was already in the way to push him off this bed if he wouldn't be on his legs by himself. He was more than well aware of that.

And yeah, after around ten or a little bit more minutes, someone started banging on his door, making him let out another groan while standing and feeling coldness under his feet. No matter how much he didn't want to leave his heated mattress and warm blanket, he moved with a grim expression on his face toward the door, which his best friend kept banging on. He yawned a few times during just a few steps, and rubbing face with the loosely hanging sleeves. He reached for the handle, turning the lock before doing so just to meet a well known face and roll his eyes at a smiley face bright and early.

“What a wonderful surprise! Thanks, oh King, for your kindness that you wanted to visit me; can you go now?” Looking at his best friend's face, boy murmured under his breath.

The black-haired man only snorted at his friend's incredulous enthusiasm and actually pushed his way inside the apartment without even asking for an invitation.

“Yah, someone invited you!?”

The visitor rolled his eyes and sent the blond one, a fake, pathetic smile. That's when the sleepy one felt like throwing whatever he could at him and cursing a bit, as he usually did when his slightly older, unfortunately, best friend caught up with him about his height or rushed him on literally everything. He tried so hard this time to not explode and tell the other guy not even to speak up. As just wished to go about his morning activities in peace after an uneasy night, without any stress or unnecessary comments from his friend.

“You should be ready. I'm coming here at the same time. Always. What's so difficult about setting an alarm, Jimin?" the blond one only send a grimaced face and left for a shower, hardly stopping himself from raising a middle finger, when the older one made himself at home in the kitchen.

After a half-hour, when the clock struck twenty-seven, the two friends left the apartment and went to training, properly locking the door behind them. It was lucky for Jimin, that Hoseok was always there to pick him up so he didn't need to worry about the public transports and all these schedules, but still sometimes he was hating on unusually loud persona.

They arrived at the training room an equal twenty minutes later, having exactly the same amount of time to warm up and stretch their muscles. Even if Jimin is pretty stretched, Hoseok has been much above him with that. Boy`s back was screaming for mercy today, but only to be brushed off and stretched out even more.

At eight o'clock, the dark-haired man began to demonstrate the new dance steps that had been added to their routine. As they've been chosen to represent their collage at the festival, which was approaching Seoul with ever-increasing steps. This all also meant that they've been chosen as the best dancers in the school and made Jimin nothing more than proud. But it still wasn't enough.

He wished to achieve more and more as his passion for dancing was with him since he was a little kid. And he was happy to have family on his side, always encouraging him to follow his dreams. As he was younger, he started with something like funk dance - hip hop in general but as he found himself in High School the contemporary dance was something that took his whole heart. Especially the ballet aspects of it. And his parents were always there for him. So he did everything to make them proud. Even if it meant he has to forfeit his health for it.

A good hour had passed, and streams of sweat were running down the blond man's forehead. Breathing heavily, he stared at his mirrored reflection. He could clearly see the whole of his body, something he clearly thought of as ugly. he couldn't stop himself from grimacing, staring at the posture inside the mirror. He lacked muscle where the core lies, thighs were too thick making him look like some kind of gorilla and his face was too pudgy. Yes, face was the one he definitely hated the most. And all he would like to do now, was throw something at the glass to shatter it all but loud steps took his attention from the reflection.

With a few pats on his shoulders, as Hoseok quickly found a place next to the Jimin to annoy him a little bit before the practice, barely letting him take a breath. But as long as they were friends, black haired man was also a damn strict teacher and never ignored any wrong move, but was quick to point it out on more than one occasion, pushing Jimin to the limit.

Blond man got up from the floor after one more fell just to begin another hour of hard work. Sweat dripped down his face in small streaks and breathing was heavy, often hard to catch, but that didn't stop him from getting up and taking new steps. To not let his parents down. To build an amazing body. And sacrifice everything to look at least a small percentage good. Wishing to look in a small way like people from newspaper covers or famous profiles on Instagram.

He never felt enough. So Jimin often spent hours in the hall, eating little, hoping it would help him. Paying no attention to how harmful it is to his body. And what's even worse - to his mind. Boy was completely ignoring the fact that liters of water and hours of dancing without the right diet could lead to a finish.

Yet the training didn't end as it was planned. It was a long hours more until he could leave the hall about six o'clock. Before reaching home, he knew very well that he had to run a few more errands on the way, which meant he probably wouldn't be at his apartment until around eight o'clock or even later. And he only let out a long huff, pushing his sweaty clothes inside the bag and putting on a light jacket.

He left the training room, saying a brief goodbye to the dark-haired man and slapping a few high-fives on the way out. Jimin was always a friendly one, even if he rather spent most of the time alone as he enjoyed his own company, he also liked to be around people. And Hoseok was a great help with it as he was like a walking sunshine with friends everywhere. Even if Jimin doesn't remember most of the people he ever met as his memory for faces is pretty poor, he usually with an awkward smile keeps answering short ‘hello’ on the college hallways.

As he walked out of the warm building, his heated body collided with the cold air. A shiver quickly took over his body and as he breathed into the space, a little mist escaped from his lips. After quickly pulling a yellow scarf tighter, covering his neck, and putting his hood over the wet hair he was ready to stalk fast to the next destination. Really the last thing he needed right now was a cold.

As he expected, he opened the apartment door roughly after 8 pm. Quietly getting inside, and putting down the bag in the corner of the hallway. Staring for a while into the empty dark room. Only after a few minutes, taking off his outerwear and then headed to the bathroom, grabbing his bag to take out the clothes to throw them into the washing machine with the other clothes that had been waiting to be done for days.

Boy looked at his tired face in the mirror. The machine door slammed behind his back making him jump a bit, so he only sighed loudly while still staring at the pale face. Hands quickly washed his skin with cold water, trying to give Jimin at least the slightest bit of life, but it was no use. So somewhat like a human wreck set off for the kitchen to provide his body with at least one meal of today. But even the thought of rating something made him nauseated. He really didn't have the slightest desire to swallow anything.

As the dry rice with chicken was in front of him, the first bite was the hardest. He chewed slowly, sitting in almost eerie silence. Trying to listen to everything that was going on around him. Suddenly the sound of the breaking glass and a loud curse, uttered in someone's soft voice came to his hearing. He furrowed his eyebrows and lifted his gaze upward. Literally, for a moment he felt like his imagination was playing tricks on him again, but then he remembered the previous night. Along with the figure crying in the window.

A voice he heard overhead and a heavy footstep on the floor echoed in his head. It was a girl, he could hear it incredibly clearly now. She was cursing as much as she could, and worst of all she said it all to herself. The blond man felt sorry for her. He didn't want someone so close to him to suffer so much. Even if she was a complete stranger to him.

So he naively took his way to the building corridor, trying to find the right door. Wanting so bad to knock once or twice. But he didn't. Only fingertips softly moved on the wooden surface of the door. He couldn't do more.

#park jimin #jimin x reader #jimin hurt/comfort #jimin imagine #bts imagine #jimin fluff #jimin au #jimin angst #jimin x you #jimin x y/n #bts angst #jimin bts #bts fanfic #bts fluff #soulmate au #bts au

23 notes · View notes

silenttale22 · 8 months

Text

MUST HAVE BEEN THE WIND/PJM/ - Chapter 1

Dancer!Jimin x Student!Reader Genre: Fluff, Angst, Slice of life. hurt/comfort, Soulmate!AU, SchoolAU Note: Hi Sweetheart! Its already here, and I'm at the same time extremely stressed and excited to show you my first fic. I started writing this story a few years back, and tbh, I never thought I'd get back to it. But here I am, tried my best to improve my older drafts, so I hope you will enjoy it! Story is inspired by the songs with the same title - Must Have Been The Wind by Alec Benjamin, and honestly first time I heard it - my mind immediately chose Jimin as one of the mc so yeah.. WARNINGS WILL BE ADDED WITH EACH CHAPTER

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 1/CHAPTER 2

Rainy days were always one of your favorites. The gentle mist floating in the distance, over the peacefully swaying trees, or the different-colored neon lights reflected in the puddles always brought a kind of comfort. They filled you inside with something you couldn't define. They helped replace the constant emptiness with some new sensation. It was so often when you wanted to lay down and get soaked, feeling how the rain cleansed your soul.

And it really didn't matter if you were inside or outside; you were always drawn to see how another drop fell somewhere nearby. When outside, you felt the rain fall on a reddened face and hair, soaking them completely and making them feel heavy. The heaviness of the body, however, did not compare to the lightness that came over the soul as you heard rain bouncing off concrete sidewalks or leaves still clinging to trees.

But today you were inside, window wide open to let in fresh air and to soothe, at least for a moment, the thoughts coming over and over, ending up overthinking everything and nothing at all. Sitting on the windowsill one chilly night with legs sticking out past the window frame. Dark clouds moved slowly across the sky in contrast to the single brighter ones that could foreshadow the approaching end of the shower rains. But you grasped at this moment, the time you could inhale such fresh air in a city polluted with people.

The gentle wind, which this time harmonized with the rain, gently brushed bare feet, causing a few small goosebumps to cover skin from time to time, and a shiver to run down your spine. A thunderstorm heard from somewhere in the distance often made you shiver with fear, but you were unable to return inside the chilled apartment. The cry of nature soothed your inner confusion, but still, all you wanted was to scream, just like the distant thunder.

Gazing at the swaying trees, long ago you stopped paying attention to the semi transparent drops running down your chubby cheeks, creating their own dark path of blurry mascara. Tear after tear fell, eventually stopping on the cool skin of your thighs. And maybe those weren't tears filled with sadness, but rather cleansing ones of their own. Or maybe you just again found yourself having a hard time understanding why you were staring at the horizon alone for another night.

You observed clouds moving across the sky with the help of an ever stronger wind as it put you in a trance you could never understand. But it helped you forget. Or sometimes think even more. Because even the clouds could move on, to take a new path, unlike you, who are forever buried in the same pit. But, there was no one for you, as wind for the clouds. To help, and to give some support.

From time to time, closing your eyes and feeling as if you are floating in the air. The strange sensation as if you are watching yourself from outside the body. Sometimes having the sense that things around you aren't real. That you aren't real. And although at times it brought incredible relief because you didn't have to struggle endlessly with your thoughts, you often wondered if you were just starting to go crazy. Or maybe you were crazy for years now.

It was again when you tried to focus on the sound of the raindrops hitting the windowsill or the distant ground, trying not to wail loudly one more time, as you did a few nights ago. Constantly afraid of being heard again. And the last thing you needed was to hear the pitiful words,

"Are you okay?"

That honestly meant nothing, because people don't really care. You were fine on your own, weren't you? People quickly start being overwhelming, or at least that's what started to happen a years ago. After the biggest loss, you didn't want to have anything to do with people; you wanted to start living differently. In your own way. And that's how you ended up here, almost alone.

You were cutting off all unnecessary parts of society fast. Ended all contacts and deleted social media accounts. There was no longer the laughing girl that everyone loved. She became a ghost, walking the corridors, avoiding all small talks and commitments. Unusual student who hoped that constant study would keep him from thinking about the wrong things.

And maybe you were right about that in some way. Studying was distracting for you a little, and helped you theoretically forget for a while. But forgetting cannot heal you. First you have to face it and tell yourself that it's a past you can't change. Only after this, you can try to forget.

All these years, you've realized that life isn't so bad. Only the people around were. All those bad memories didn't come up so often without anyone around, but they still did. At least in unexpected moments that easily tore you down and overwhelmed you.

Your life in general was followed by stress, a lack of time for things other than studying, and helplessness. And there were also, among other things, the sleepless nights and shedding tears with legs dangling outside the window. When you just wished to get over all of the negativity in your head. When you wished for a normal life without constant overthinking and trying to guess why things happened this way and not in a different one.

And you sometimes prayed you could go back in time; don't be made to see how things you used to love became things you'd rather forget. The only thing you want is to get rid of the strange feelings that hurt your chest.

You keep telling yourself that you'll get through it on your own, don't you? That's how you deal with all of the problems—one after another appearing, but you still want to take care of them with your own hands. But lastly, they were only swept under the rug. You get rid of them temporarily like dust, which reappears after a while anyway, and you run out of cloth to wipe them off. And at the end, they only relapsed hitting harder.

A stronger wind blew directly into your face, shaking you out of your state of numbness and slight detachment from your thoughts, feelings and body. You sighed softly and wiped your nose with the long sleeve of your sweatshirt. Pull your legs up to your chest, spin around on the windowsill, and land with your feet on the panels of the living room. Only by a bliss moment thinking that you may fall. End this like that.

Your apartment itself wasn't big. But at least you had your own place. A small studio flat where the kitchen was linked to the lounge, and the bedroom itself was almost the size of a bathroom, more simply put - tiny. However, the living room most often also served as a bedroom, so you didn't really care about its size. As long as you could fall asleep there - it was fine. Even if sometimes sleep wasn't an often guest in your life.

You closed the window for a while, then figured you'd leave it ajar, so you did, and moved with a quick step into the kitchen. Even though you knew the path almost by heart, the darkened room made it difficult for you to move from the window sometimes. As you have never been a fan of lighting up the whole room, most often prefer to sit in the dark because of that you could often feel almost blind. Nevertheless your eyesight was very good, even perfect, as the ophthalmologist repeated each time. You still - used to trip over invisible objects on a straight path or snag various things at the height of your shoulders. And maybe you were inattentive, or just perpetually too thoughtful, but that night you didn't feel like adding another thought to the list—why?

It's not so long when a piece of thick material underfoot plays a prank on you like every damn day. So the fact that you were lying on the floor again was like nothing new. Tripping on the carpet was usual but anyway led you to tend to blame your clumsiness. Along with the curses under your breath. Calling out not only the rug but also yourself for being an idiot.

You can't even count how many times you ended up lying in the same spot, sometimes even hitting the floor with your own hands because of your rising anger at yourself. Not caring if there are anyone in the apartment floor below. So you took another deep breath, only to rise from the panels in a moment and look at your skinned knees, whose pain you usually brushed off by rolling your eyes. Eventually, you made your way to the kitchen, dodging every obstacle with great care while occasionally sighing through muscle pain that was no longer so simple to ignore.

You've often wondered - after a long while after falling down - why the neighbors who live below have never yet come to complain that there is an incredible bang coming from your place every night. Which was naturally caused by the body hitting the floor, but how could they know about it?

People tended to ignore what was going on in other people's lives until it somehow began to affect their own, and you could only guess how annoying constant knocking could be. Taking a moment to think about it, but quickly gave up and put the water in the kettle on the gas. You quickly poured two teaspoons of black coffee into a mug after wiping your face with a grimy sleeve and recalling that you drank it every night while attempting to study.

After a few minutes, or maybe longer, of watching at the grayish wall, which in places was covered with big, dark stains, you poured a cup of boiling water to scent fresh coffee and let the hot steam hit your face, which after a while became red from the heat.

You grabbed a hot cup and headed to your room to spend another night staring at the pages of a book you had to read for your upcoming lectures. You knew that your little dream of becoming a scientist would never be easy, but that is why you devoted so much time to studying. You always wanted to change medicine, even a little bit, or rather, the people who were working in this field. Seeing so many people die as a result of incompetence and reckless behavior has driven you insane since you can remember. The number of those who haven't even had time to take a deep breath of fresh air is still growing, and you want to put a stop to it.

You'd read sentence after sentence, the letters would blur in front of your eyes at certain moments, which would make you detach for a moment, rub your eyes with your fingers, take a big sip of smelling coffee, and go back to studying. You repeat these steps several times until you need to go to the toilet or run out of drink, which becomes weaker and weaker over time and doesn't stimulate your body as much.

Tonight, you were only able to last until 3:00 a.m. and finally fall asleep sitting on the floor. Nightmares, or simply unpleasant dreams, usually wake you up. Most of the time, squirming on the couch or on the floor, sometimes waking up with screams. Today was unusually peaceful.

At six o'clock in the morning, you were awakened by a loud, sensory alarm clock telling you to get up for work, which you also couldn't let go off in your day's schedule, and you knew it perfectly well. You're responsible for yourself, and no one or nothing but hard work will make you comfortable. That’s why you moved heavy cartons to one of the factories on Busan until ten o’clock, only to get home in half an hour to pick up your books and go to college.

And you used to spend your time like this until 6:00. Almost five days a week, sometimes six or seven. There were times, when people from your department began to notice that the dark circles under the eyes were getting bigger every day. Overall, everyone noticed it, but no one wanted to waste time asking if everything was okay. You didn't push them all away for nothing, right? After all, what's the use of asking about it? No one would think about asking how your day went, and even this - they didn't care. On your face wasn't any more a shadow of a smile. When you get home and close all possible locks, only a waterfall of tears will fall. When no one can see.

Another day, you were coming back to your apartment by foot because of your stupid disorganization. When you were late for the bus that runs to your neighborhood once every two hours, you had to wander halfway across the city with heavy books. For the first fifteen minutes of your brisk march, you were swearing like a trooper under your nose, reminding people around how much of a freak you were, cursing at yourself again, doubling your hopelessness and clumsiness with words.

When you finally arrived at your stairwell, you were relieved. Feet were painfully burning because of new corns, made by uncomfortable shoes. However, as you reached the door of your place, more hurtful words were flying around, echoing for all of the neighbors in the building, when the annoying light on the motion sensor would not turn on, while your hands were shaking so badly that you were unable to aim at the lock with a single key. Sweat started to cover your scalp, and another time you couldn't feel the shape of the lock under your one-free finger. You were about to toss all of the books and your bag on the floor in order to get inside.

When you entered the apartment, everything flew out of your trembling hands and onto the floor. Papers, notebooks, and even a small pencil case with cats spilled out of an unfastened linen bag, along with several thicker and thinner books that she held under her arm. You groaned pitifully and kicked one of the books in anger, which literally made you howl in a second, because the collision of the object with the toes, already freed from your shoes, was definitely stronger than you imagined.

Eventually, without caring longer about all of the things tossed around, you threw your body onto the couch, kicking the air with her legs like someone with a crazy mind but all you just wanted was to get rid of negative emotions. And as usual you ended up crying, while hugging one and only pillow lying on the couch.

But how could you know that one of your weeping was heard through the ajar window.

#bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts au #bts angst #jimin x you #park jimin #jimin fluff #jimin x reader #jimin imagine #park jimin fanfic #park jimin x reader #bts jimin #jimin hurt/comfort #school au #soulmate au #jimin x y/n

14 notes · View notes