silentxstranger

[silentxstranger]

Carrying the emotional weight had never been a forte of Dani's - in fact, it was often what put a wedge between her and anyone who even tried to get close to her. Despite how much Dani truly did feel connected to, it felt like she was still always being held back. By what exactly, she couldn't even say anymore. Probably herself. Just another cliche tale of being afraid of vulnerability, fearing relying on others so much that she quivered at the very thought of accepting a simple favor. It wasn't like she was only hurting herself, either - of course it hurt the people who cared about her to be shut out as though they never mattered. Yet despite Dani understanding that, she still felt the wall being built up and strengthening even then. A sigh escaped, more so at herself than the present circumstance, as she took a seat next to Miranda. Although still quickly throwing back an extra nip she managed to sneak in from home. She was far too sober to even begin whatever she could feel this conversation bubbling up to be. "Yeah .... no, words probably wouldn't be forming at that point," she said in agreement. "Have you gotten the spins yet?"

she shouldn't have even acknowledged her , she should have let dani slip by without a word . but she hadn't been thinking straight , and the conversation starter was already out there by the time she realized it was a bad idea . " fucking sucks , " she agreed , her chest tightening the longer she looked at her . it sure would be nice to be doing better , really winning at life , rather than be seen like this by the last person she'd dated . but , alas . " i'm not gonna . . . bore you with all that . not your job to care anymore . " her own words caused her eyes to well up , alcohol fueled tears blurring her vision for a moment before she forced an unconvincing laugh , waving them away ; both , the moisture and dani . " it's fine , this is stupid , i'm fine . i'm sorry . thank god i didn't finish that last drink , huh ? i'd be a mess . " as if she wasn't already .

[silentxstranger]

"...--Yeah, alright." Charlie mumbled after a pause, turning her head away with a clenched jaw. "Forget it, it doesn't even matter, stupid of me to even ask." Why did she even bother asking? It was like she was trying to shatter her own heart in one million pieces because he was right - from the very start, it was obvious he wasn't looking for anything serious, yet Charlie still ended up shaping her life around him like she always did. Ever so foolish and naive to think for a second his feelings shifted towards anything else. "But actually you know what? You're acting like I'm asking you to propose to me and take me on a cruise and hold each other under the stars or something like that - I just need to know if you care about me - like, at all." Not even asking him to feel or express love - but after all the time they spent together, albeit behind closed doors, he had to at least value her as a person to some extent? Why bother continuing the dance they were doing at all? "You can't even tell me that?"

vince morrone. twenty-seven, singer + songwriter, bisexual. open to : any possible connections : situationship , ex fling

" no , no ... i heard you the first time. i just think that you're asking a fucking lot out of me , when i'd been honest with you from the beginning that this wasn't the direction that i was looking for us to go in. " vince sighs as he brings his hands up to his face , masking the groan that sounds from his throat while his hands drag down against his skin. this had turned complicated quicker than he'd anticipated , and if there was one thing in this world that vince struggled with the most , it was expressing his feelings. in ways that didn't involve a guitar or microphone , evidently. " i don't know what it is that you want from me here , truthfully. when we started this .. it was supposed to be fun , i thought that we were having fun ? why would you want to change that ? "

[silentxstranger]

Even with the excess liquor, Dani still could only offer an awkward smile as she shifted her position when she saw her ex outside of the club. It was just her luck - as soon as she stepped out, just another ghost of her past was there to haunt her. "Yeah, no that... fucking sucks." Was there anything else she should be saying? Part of her knew the polite thing would be to offer a listening ear. But on the other hand, Randi wasn't the only one who was trying to forget - and up until that point, it seemed as though Dani was finding that goal easier to achieve. Still, she couldn't quite bring herself to go back just yet - Despite her stoic nature, the brick wall she surrounded herself with, she knew she'd spend the whole night worrying about Randi. As much as she'd try to deny it. "So uh- what's going on?"

LOCATION : outside of a bar / club . FOR : open to f / m / nb , 21 + . maybe an ex , a friend , a fwb , an enemy , a crush , i'll take anything happily !

" not as fun as it used to be , " randi groans , the back of her skull pressed against the concrete wall . the cool night air is helping her feel a little less nauseated , but her head is still pounding and anxiety is clawing at her chest . this is going to be a hell of a hangover . " i just wanted to laugh . . . dance . . . you know . . . not think about how my life is going all to shit . but now i'm just hyper aware of all the ways it's going to shit . including tonight . "

[silentxstranger]

"Okay, but you understand that you did that to yourself, right?" she didn't waste a second before snapping back. After obsessing over every detail, tearing herself apart in desperate attempt to make him see even a fraction of how much he meant to her - just for him to throw it all away and shut her out. And then he had the nerve to tell her how much it kept him up at night? Still making it about him. Still unable to see how much hurting himself was only increasing her own suffering. It felt like for Charlie's entire life, all she spent doing was trying to save the people who didn't want to be saved. Thinking maybe - just maybe she could finally do something right. Finally be enough. Since she was a child, it was like she erased herself and scribbled on anything she could be for the other person. The worst part was even in that moment, as she was hoping her gaze looking up at Rylan wasn't as sharp and revealing of the sizzling anger and frustration she was stuffing down, there was still a part of her plead for him not to push her away. For them to start again - damn near begging for him to just show her that he loved her even half as much as she loved him. And god, what a pathetic sight that was.

"Rylan, why are you even telling me this? I mean, is this supposed to make me feel better? Because it doesn't - at all. Or is this just you trying to make yourself feel less guilty?" she finally asked, refusing to break eye contract even as she could finally feel the stinging of the tears threatening to surface. If there was one thing she'd like nothing more to change about herself it was that she wore her heart on her sleeve. Not by choice, and perhaps she was even envious of Rylan for being seemingly able to merely walk away from it all. From others, from himself, his emotions, everything. Whereas it felt like every second of every day, Charlie was one gust of wind away from crumbling into nothing more than dust. "You're saying this because you want me to know I mattered to you? Because you just wanted to protect me from what? Yourself?" A shaky exhale escaped as she only then shifted her gaze away, unable to stop herself from picking at her nails. "If you want to run away and shut me out, at least own up to it. At least follow through with that." Out of all of the empty promises, Charlie expected this one to be the most likely he could actually keep.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤthe    second    it    left    his    mouth,    rylan    knew    it    was    the    wrong    way    to    start.    but    charlie    didn’t    flinch.    didn’t    back    down.    for    a    second,    he    was    taken    back,    but    that    quickly    ebbed    into    admiration.    it    was    better    than    silence,    better    than    this    distance    he    had    put    between    them.    ❝    do    you    think    this    was    easy    for    me    ?    ❞    his    words    are    pushed    passed    a    huff,    ❝    walking    away    from    you    ?    you    think    i    slept    soundly    after    that    ?    ❞    with    any    other    girl,    he    would    have,    but    no    one    have    carved    themselves    a    spot    in    his    chest    quite    the    same    way    she    had.    when    she    didn’t    reply    right    away,    he    continued.    ❝    i    didn’t    break    it    off    because    i    didn’t    feel    anything,    ❞    hues    darken,    ❝    i    did    it    because    i    had    to.    ❞    he    laughed    under    his    breath,    bitter    and    barely    there.    ❝    and    i    can’t    really    explain    more    than    that.    but    —    i    just    . . .   i    didn’t    want    you    to    think    i    left    because    you    didn’t    matter.    you    did.    you    do.    that’s    the    problem. ❞    perhaps    that    accounted    for    nothing,    and    the    words    would    die    pointless    on    their    way    out,    but    it    was    worth    saying.    if    only    to    kick    them    out    of    his    head.    maybe    it    would    make    this    distance    he    needed    to    keep    a    fraction    easier,    and    make    rylan    refrain    from    wanting    to    fight    every    guy    that    looks    her    way,    because    he    want    to    be    them.    able    to    have    her.

[silentxstranger]

The sharp and venomous words that normally would have caused tears to well up only inflicted a clenched jaw and the overwhelming urge to roll her eyes and walk out right then and there - maybe giving him a taste of his own medicine for once. And maybe she should have, but her feet remained planted on the ground as she searched for the words to say without exploding. "Okay, so what - you broke things off because you had feelings and couldn't process them because you've never bothered to sit with your emotions a day in your life?" It wasn't often Charlie would be so forward with her anger - she'd much rather take the approach of shutting down, walling herself up and isolating until she wasn't seeing red. Whether that took a few hours or a few weeks, who could be certain. However in that moment, all she could feel was drained. Emotionally, physically, mentally - if something she said severed whatever connection the two of them had for good, so be it.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ❝    you    think    i    broke    things    off    because    i    didn’t    have    any    feelings    for    you    ?    string    two    fucking    braincells    together    for    a    sec.    ❞

[silentxstranger]

"Yeah, I'm okay." the effects of the copious amount of liquor was wearing off and replaced by a pounding headache along with the acknowledgement of the rest of her body aching. Riding her bike in the middle of the night with no lights to alert other cars of her presence wasn't the smartest thing Charlie had ever done - especially not as she kept drifting closer to the middle of the street chasing headlights like a moth to the flame. So much so that a close encounter leading her to ride her bike off the road, inches away from falling headfirst on a rock. Not that she went without scrapes, but after Flynn helped clean them out, it wasn't worth worrying about. "Thank you - for your help. But I promise I'm fine now. Think I just have to sleep it off or something." By that of course she meant the guilt was beginning to consume her and she would insist on suffering alone rather than accepting pity from anyone as she laid in the bed she had made. "Are you okay? This didn't like - completely throw you off for the rest of the week, right? Hopefully you don't have to go into work super early tomorrow?"

{open to anyone}

"Are you sure you're okay?" Flynn asked, full of concern, trying desperately not to switch into doctor mode. "Do you need anything? Glass of water? An extra pillow?"

[silentxstranger]

"The lecture couldn't have waited until you dropped me off?" Even through her drunken speech she could at least have the awareness that he was being harsh out of fear. That was typically how it went, after all. Anger so often was a numbing blanket for fear, Aria knowing that better than most. "Right, and now you're stuck with the worst outcome of them all - having it be your problem for the night." The self deprecation came in the form of jokes and hollow laughter, but they both knew the truth and pain behind the words. Aria could fool others, walk around as if she didn't have a care in the world, complete indifference of other's perception of her, but Levi always seemed to have been able to see through that. "I knew I shouldn't have called." She mumbled to herself, resting her head in her hand as she stared out the passenger window. She had half the mind to just open the door right there and see what would happen if she dove out into the street. Perhaps if Levi had picked her up sooner, while the full effect of the liquor pumped through her veins.

OPEN TO: any gender~      ↳ PLOT: levi is lecturing your muse after picking them up drunk - but isn’t actually angry he’s masking how much he cares, levi, 31, motorsports driver

“that was really dumb of you, you know that?” levi says looking to the other for a brief moment before turning his head back to the road. “you could have gotten hurt, or last, kidnapped anything really!” he sighs running his fingers through his hair. “why would you even go out drinking alone - i would have came with you? i’m sure there’s plenty of other friends of yours who would have to.” he groans and keeps his attention on the road ahead of them. he wasn’t meaning to be as harsh as he was sounding but he couldn’t help how much he cared and that unfortunately it was coming out this way.

[silentxstranger]

It was as if Charlie allowed herself to explode for a minute only to build up her wall once more. She studied his eyes, searching for any sign of remnants of the sparks that had radiated between them. That burned so bright it was dangerous to even look at. For as much as she had spent pushing him away, she had to admit that when things were alright between the two of them, it felt like they were on another dimension entirely. Completely sealed off from the rest of the world and safe from all harm. Yet in that moment, all she could see was exhaustion. Was that really it? He wasn't even going to yell and demand why she didn't just talk to him? Did he even care...

Tears began to well up in her eyes, and she quickly darted her eyes to the side in hopes she could pull herself together just for a moment, just long enough to say goodbye. Once she was in the comfort in her own room, she'd be able to break down and sob, scream into her pillow, all she wanted - she just had to hold out until then. "It's alright, most people don't," She finally answered, gaze still lowered. Words were trapped in her throat as she wrestled the thoughts in her mind. It would have been better to just leave right then and there, right? After all she was the one that was calling things off. So why did it feel like as much as a step away from him was like breaking her own ribcage?

"I probably --" She took a sharp inhale and shook her head slightly before correcting herself. "I should have told you, I just--" It was probably the most common thread that tied together nearly every conflict they ended up having. She just held onto her own pain until it inevitably blew up in her face, all the while tending to everyone else's wounds instead. "I'm sorry," the words felt trivial with how much she circled back to them, but she meant it each time with every fiber of her being. "Do you want to? Still be friends?" The thought of him not being repulsed by the very sight of her astonished her with how much she put him through. Just when it seemed like they finally had a break from the rollercoaster, something else would come up that was just too much for Charlie to handle. What it was like to not feel constantly overwhelmed and suffocated by one's own emotions, Charlie was afraid she may never quite understand.

Samuel wouldn't call their relationship toxic or anything like that. That wasn't how he felt about the whole thing, but he certainly heard comments from his friends that said the opposite. Whenever they broke up, Sam's friends would celebrate and urge him not to get back together. But when they got back together, his friends would disappoint him. Still, Sam wanted to believe that he could see Charlie's good side and that it wasn't her fault. Maybe he was delusional. And yet he felt his whole body freeze as soon as Charlie revealed just a little bit of the hardships she had to face. What was he supposed to say? That he was sorry? Yes, he was. But it also sounded tired and fake.

With one hand, he ran through his dark locks, looking at the ceiling for a bit while taking a deep breath to calm down. Sam wasn't angry, he wasn't even the type to get angry in the first place. Instead, it felt more final at this point. His friends were right, he should stop fighting. Little did Samuel know that his decisions weren't the best. Slowly, he lowered his hands again, his lips pressed together into a fine line. ❝I'm sorry, I had no clue what you were going through.❞ There he said it and he meant it. ❝Look, if you need any help, I'll be happy to give you a hand or two. And I respect your decision. You don't need a dysfunctional relationship right now. I wish you would've told me earlier. Let's end this, but I can stay your friend. If you want me to.❞

[silentxstranger]

"Yeah, because I am that insecure." Now wasn't the time to replace emotional vulnerability with sarcasm and they both knew it - especially when she had been the one to spiral and convince herself he was utterly exhausted by her and at the end of his rope merely due to being left on read long enough to plant seeds of doubt that would exponentially spring up to a corn maze of panic she could never find her way out of. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? There's been a lot going on, my brother's baiting the grim reaper pretty much every night at this point and I need to figure out how to convince him to crash at my place just for a couple days or something until he can figure out people actually give a shit about him, my mom's obviously no help at all yet somehow I'm still the bad guy for ever saying anything bad about her, I have to find another job since between rent and taking care of him, my bank account is dropping by the minute, I just-" She could feel her head fog up like sunglasses after stepping inside form a cold winter morning. To say she was overwhelmed was an understatement and of course this was the first time she had even uttered a single notion of what was going on to Sam. Up until this moment it had only been shrugs and 'I don't really want to talk about it's all the while drifting further and further away from him.

"I don't have time for this right now." Charlie's eyes remained fixated at her hands she was holding tightly together, the sound of her picking at her fingernails muffling the screams in her head pleading herself to stop pushing everyone away and for once take the advice she gave to others. "I'm sorry." The repeated apology far less combative than the first. And for a moment, those two words allowed a glimmer of sincerity to shine through as her own voice quivered ever so slightly with fear. A dull pain in her eyes adding to her already overloaded senses, and she couldn't decipher if it was due to the little sleep she had been getting or the tears threatening to surface despite her attempts to keep them locked away. How she wanted to throw herself in his arms in that very moment - let herself collapse, fall apart, unravel after a lifetime of half-hazardly slapping bandaids over her gaping wounds in order to save everyone else... but her feet were stuck to the ground, and she couldn't bare the thought of dragging Sam through any more of the rollercoaster than she already had. "You said it yourself- this is getting out of hand. And it's not like it's gonna get better, and I'm really fucking--" terrified. Why couldn't she just be honest and let him inside her head? "I just can't do this."

OPEN TO × w / m / nb  21+

PLOT × just some angsty on-off kind of thing. give me drama & t*xic (age gaps welcome)

MUSE × samuel 'sam' vázquez [25] true-crime podcaster

❝What is it this time?❞ Sam's voice sounded tense and desperate to remain calm. However, there was a certain tremor that gave away his conflicted emotions. ❝Why are you breaking up with me this time? Did I not text you often enough? Did I look at someone for more than three seconds? Did I take too much time picking up the phone? What now? It's getting out of hand!❞

[silentxstranger]

"Love is definitely real, the problem is the word lost it's meaning." Charlie added her two cents before finishing the last of her drink. "Plus, people fucking suck and can't figure out what they want and expect us to magically fill the void that's been growing in their soul since childhood."

open to all ( 21+ )

plot : samantha is a former child star ; artistically stunted . she & y/m are hanging out drinking by her pool . could have been a deep conversation or just a topic they were on . OR if one wants to take it the romantic route , sam could be blowing off y/m saying that they loved her .

" — love isn't real . " samantha hummed drunkenly , her digits babysitting her second cigarette . " love is a made up emotion because if half of the people who said they loved me really did . . . " she chuckled , eyes closing as she shook her head . " nevermind . don't wanna delve into that shit . want another drink ? can't let the glasses run dry . "

[silentxstranger]

"Not even a good to see you before biting my head off?" Kian asked, though his tone far more playful than accusatory. "C'mon, I could have slipped, fallen, landed on a rock, and splat -" Although he was conveniently seeming to ignore Vincent's valid question regarding texting instead. "But anyway, if you're so worried about your dad finding me here, we could just leave before he gets the chance to- food for thought." As if his dad wouldn't flip his shit even more to see Vincent missing, but Kian was hardly one to be known for thinking ahead.

"  my  dad  is  going  to  flip  his  shit  if  he  sees  you  here  .  "  a  pause  ,  brows  furrowing  in  equal  parts  annoyance  and  affection  .  "  why  are  you  climbing  through  my  window  ,  anyways  ?  it's  2024  .  i  have  a  phone  .  "

open to : any gender , 21 + .

plot : forbidden relationship shenanigans

muse : vincent palmiotti . 24 . mechanic . rebellious son of a military family .

[silentxstranger]

"Ah, of course - how silly of me to forget that it doesn't matter when I'm the one who's upset."

open to femmes

" right , what makes you think i cared about your feelings ? "

[silentxstranger]

"Hmm..." Quin pressed his lips together, knowing if he uttered another word, the tone would wreak of judgement. "Yeah, I'll help, though -" honestly the mess was giving him anxiety, so it'd be as much help to himself as Kenzi in that moment. "So - was this a wake up in the middle of the night with a brilliant idea kind of vibe or a I haven't slept in four days, and every thought in my head is golden vibe?"

"i don't know okay man?" kenzi rubs his nose between his fingers and groans amongst his laughter. "it seemed like a good idea at the time!" everything seems like a good idea in the middle of the night, though. "can you just... help me clean up? please? this will take me hours without some help." plus cleaning wasn't his strong suit - especially not cleaning the absolute mess that was currently his kitchen.

[silentxstranger]

"Ouch. That bad, huh?" Casey asked, chuckling in his own cup as he took a sip. Admittedly, it wasn't the best. But his roommate who normally was responsible for the jungle juice was away, and a little improvising never hurt anyone, right? "There should be more wine in the fridge if that's like drinking toxic waste. Or if you think you could make a better drink, by all means." He added, raising his brows slightly as he posed the challenge.

♡ open to: m/f/nb

" god -- that's vile, who made this shit ? "

[silentxstranger]

"Really... alright, so why don't you enlighten me since you clearly know me better than I know myself."

open to: anyone.

“ you ‘didn’t mean to hurt me?’ yeah you did. like it or not, i know exactly who you are. ”

[silentxstranger]

"Well, then it's a good thing I'm not looking for anyone to fix me. Glad we could clear that up."

open to : anyone.

“ i can’t fix you. you can’t expect me to know how to fix you. ”

[silentxstranger]

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