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I had to do this guys

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Wilderness camping ghoap 🫶

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he definitely fucks but there’s no way he fucks normal

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ghost? a storage wars enjoyer. gaz and price like pawn stars ("it's a genuinely educational show"). and soap? well. it's hardcore pawn for him

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Theodor Kittelsen - "The key as a White Horse" (1907)

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"Zoom in."

"Ach- tha's a violation o' privacy-"

Your nails press harder into Soap's shoulder. No doubt it's not hurting him, you just need to annoy him. It kind of is an infringement on Gaz's life- and you know Soap prefers him to you based on male fraternity or some shit. That doesn't matter in your eyes when Gaz has been so weird the last few days! Task Force 141 has been sitting pretty in this small base for a week now, trying to work out the new phase of action. And you like to think you know your fellow sergeants well, so Kyle's detached behaviour is screaming at you that something's wrong.

And because Soap always brings his phone where it shouldn't be taken (you don't want to know how) he's your only way to try and find out what Gaz is doing, talking to that beautiful woman just outside the base...

You swallow. Obviously, you're not the only one who finds him attractive, as evidenced by the attention he gathers every time you guys exist in the world together. But still, right in front of your workplace? It feels insulting. You squeeze Soap's shoulder and he relents sighing, his big fingers touching the screen and zooming the scene.

"You want a new phone for your birthday?"

He rolls his eyes, but the three moving pixels on the screen are not helping you out right now.

"There's real cameras for paparazzi work."

"They are not that far away. Admit the camera is not good. Wait, give it to me," you try and reach for his phone but he moves away, an arm grabbing yours to keep you at distance. You free yourself and try again, but he moves clockwise, the expense of his back right in front of you. You don't like to resort to real fighting techniques, so you just try to climb him, your knee trying to find friction on his lean side. He's no doubt about to shrug you off when you get interrupted.

"What the hell are you two doing?" You drop off Soap with a soft thud and bring your feet together. Price is looking at you with a face that says he's not surprised but disappointed all the same. His gaze then lifts to the phone Soap is clutching, and his thin lips flatten even more.

"I'm going to put you to work, since you've got plenty of time to grab at each other," he says, as you feel your face burn and Soap's arm twitch.

--

"Where have you guys been? I'm almost done here," says Gaz as he sees you and Soap walk in the mess, tail between your legs.

"We got, uh, punished," you whisper. If you close your eyes, you can still feel his presence. That man is the only thing you fear.

"It's her fault because she wanted to-" you elbow Soap before he finishes his sentence.

"What were you up to, Kyle?" He quirks an eyebrow at that as he puts his tray in the trolley.

"Price wanted me to investigate with locals about that rich fella, ask about some of his friends. That’s what I’ve been doing this week. Couple of people were friendly, hoping they've told the truth." "You mean women," deadpans Soap, and you glare at him.

"Envy isn't a good look on you, 'Tavish," replies smugly Gaz. Then, he realises. "How do you know I talked to women?"

Soap was about to snitch on you before and it is your fault you both got sent to destroy your bodies with Ghost. He's going to tell him, no doubt. You tap his back and send him a desperate look that begs him not to shame you in public. He catches it, big blue eyes looking down, and when he turns back to Gaz, his mouth is trying to work out a white lie.

"Ach, ye ken you're popular. Remember that time in Berlin you kept getting free drinks? Never happened once in my life I swear." Gaz seems only slightly satisfied by the answer, but his ego isn't about to deny the compliment. He shrugs his shoulders and tells you he's going to the gym. You and Soap have had enough the whole evening, so you leave him be.

"Thanks," you say meekly, and Soap ruffles your hair, a fond look in his eyes.

"Ye still have to buy me a new phone."

"That wasn't a real offer."

“You’d rather pay in nature for my kneecaps? Huh?” He’s trying to get you in a chokehold now, but you evade him.

“You pig! Ghost worked me hard too!”

“Never as hard as us others. You’re the princess of the squad.” He resorts to flicking your forehead.

“Yes, I’m experiencing such princess treatment right now…”

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(affirming myself in the mirror) if that fictional man was real he would fuck you. He would fuck you. You're his exact type. If he saw you he'd get a boner instantly. He would fuck you he would fu

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don't interrupt Simon's reading time 😡

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🦈

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only tangentially related to stuff i've posted on this blog, but if you're into jujutsu kaisen, x reader, MASSIVE assholes, smut and femdom may i reccommend the greatest love story ever written?

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Did you know that you can waste your free time by not knowing which activity to do so you do none of them

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DAVID CORENSWET Some 35mm of David on the set of Superman, July 2024 via Jeff Familetti on Instagram

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Mmmmh...

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wip sketch of simon having a mini breakdown

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Having road rage together with Ghost ♥️ taking turns driving the humvee with Soap and Gaz in the back praying for mercy. 30% of the time is spent making subtle passive aggressive remarks about the other's driving. In civilian settings you actually ally to insult all people on their phones though.