silkybug

[silkybug]

For the last like 2000 years you could get pussy just by being a guy. Now with divorce and the pill and women having jobs and bank accounts and shit, things have changed. If youre a dude and you want pussy you actually have to ask nicely. This will lead to the collapse of several nation states.

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im boycotting everytbing because im broke youre welcome

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i think we should be talking about the semi-recent advancements in cystic fibrosis treatment like all the time every day. there hasn’t been a drug like this since AZT medications for HIV infection it is truly fucking miraculous and very important

[silkybug]

due to budget cuts our treasurer is now a little mouse pulling his empty pockets inside out and looking up forlornly with great big tears in his eyes

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If I was Jesus I would’ve simply said no dad this is your dream

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tumblr is also like this

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i was jumanji’d too when i was a kid but no one cared

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my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

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the voice of the devil

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Waiter oh waiter more salt in my wound please!!!

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when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

[silkybug]

me having a weird time: man this weird time sucks! i don't feel like myself! i wish i was having a normal time!

me having a normal time: well the weird time did have a certain je ne sais quoi...

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isnt there a better picture they could have used

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