sillylizardz

[sillylizardz]

probably not the healthiest way to resolve an argument but who am i to judge

[sillylizardz]

Cobra Starship - The Scene Is Dead; Long Live the Scene (2011 iTunes Sessions)

In 2011, the band put out an iTunes Sessions EP, containing new renditions of several Hot Mess tracks as well as a single song from Night Shades. This version of The Scene Is Dead is much more acoustic-focused and has a comparatively softer sound than the album version.

For those of us who don't use Apple Music, the iTunes EP has kind of fallen through the cracks in recent years! I'll be uploading the rest of the EP here over the next few days, and I'm also working on a CS discography package containing every single song I can possibly find. When that's done, I'll be uploading it to the Internet Archive and linking to it here! :)

[sillylizardz]

Cobra Starship - Monkey Magic (2009)

(Ten seconds of silence have been inserted into the beginning of this track to dodge Tumblr's copyright detection. Mind your volume!)

This song was included exclusively on the German deluxe iTunes release of Hot Mess, and has never been made available for streaming via Spotify. It's a cover of the song of the same name by the prolific Japanese rock band Godiego, which was originally released in 1978 and was used as the theme for the anime series Saiyuki/Monkey.

I don't think anyone in the band ever shared why they chose a 1970s J-rock/anime theme to cover. It's always been my personal suspicion that this particular song was Ryland's idea, as he's spoken before and since about being a big anime fan, but we can't know for sure!

[sillylizardz]

Cobra Starship - Monkey Magic (2009)

(Ten seconds of silence have been inserted into the beginning of this track to dodge Tumblr's copyright detection. Mind your volume!)

This song was included exclusively on the German deluxe iTunes release of Hot Mess, and has never been made available for streaming via Spotify. It's a cover of the song of the same name by the prolific Japanese rock band Godiego, which was originally released in 1978 and was used as the theme for the anime series Saiyuki/Monkey.

I don't think anyone in the band ever shared why they chose a 1970s J-rock/anime theme to cover. It's always been my personal suspicion that this particular song was Ryland's idea, as he's spoken before and since about being a big anime fan, but we can't know for sure!

[sillylizardz]

A selection of scripted ringtones that Ryland recorded in 2006, possibly for America Online. From what documentation I was able to glean from my original blog, I believe this audio may have originally come from a Buzznet video, but this MP3 of it is all I have now :(

[sillylizardz]

based on this post

[sillylizardz]

Oddly enough one of the most meaningful/painful parts of I Saw the TV Glow was when Owen is sitting there, watching the old tapes, someone with a family and an adulthood (or so she tells us), however small and sad that life is, and she tells us how abjectly humiliated she is rewatching them. The cheesiness of the show, its stilted and childish plots, the bad acting and bad visuals and whatever else— Owen is humiliated to have been saved by this bad TV show. And regardless of the fact that I don’t think the Pink Opaque she watches is the actual Pink Opaque that saved her, it tunes into this fascinating and essential part of living dissociated from your actual life and restored/saved/rescued by media, which is the shame of living like this. Yes, this was the thing that helped me survive; it was awful and childish and embarrassing and I can’t believe I survived it, I can’t believe I got through this period with the help of this. It’s so easy, when your life is so small, to be ashamed of your lifelines: it’s so easy to survive and look back and be horrified at how pathetic (however untrue it may be) and pitiable you were, and then, in reaction to that blinding embarrassment, lash out at your former self, try to say how much you’ve moved on (because you’re better now, of course you’re better, you don’t need to be saved by anything, right?). You loved this? The reason you’re alive is because of this? How embarrassing. How sad.

[sillylizardz]

ok well I finished I saw the tv glow … for me I think what this movie depicts so well is the deadness you feel before you realise you’re trans. like I kind of thought I was a sociopath before I realised I was transgender because I didn’t really feel like I loved my parents that much and I didn’t really feel joy or happiness. I remember someone asked me once what the best day of my life was and I was terrified because I didn’t have an answer, not because my life was miserable but because I could not think of any moment in my life where joy made any sort of lasting impression on me. I didn’t have many friends or cared that much about the ones I had, I forced myself to be in relationships with men I didn’t like, everything was just pure social obligation. there was this membrane between me and reality at all times and I just thought I was insane for most of my life. I keep thinking about Isabel saying, completely deadpan “I even got a family now. I love them more than anything” and you know how fraudulent and horrifying that statement is. and what threads that needle is her revisiting the old tapes and thinking it all just looked cheap and cheesy, she says “I just felt embarrassed” because she’s so thoroughly suppressed her dysphoria that even the thing that led her to recognising it had no colour or feeling in it anymore. the movie is horrifying and idk if I have anything like coherent to say about it but for me the thing that connected with me the most is how monotone so much of Isabel’s life is. Once Maddy/Tara leaves there’s no colour in it anymore

[sillylizardz]

When The Pink Opaque is on tv, it’s a different ratio aspect then the rest of the movie (i.e. the “real world” portions of the movie) and as you can see there is that black border on the sides indicating that it’s what’s being seen on tv. But when Isabel is being buried alive, it’s in the same ratio aspect as the “real world,” filling the whole screen, indicating that it’s not just what’s happening on tv but also in reality. Anyway I thought this was an interesting editing choice it kind of supports the idea that her death is real etc

[sillylizardz]

HEART EYES (2025)

[sillylizardz]

headers

[sillylizardz]

[sillylizardz]

Always 🖤

[sillylizardz]

For Old Times' Sake 🌙

[sillylizardz]

“How’s life?”

Me:

[sillylizardz]

london boy guy

[sillylizardz]

Getting in is the easy part. 🐺