sillyslvt

[sillyslvt]

𝓘𝓿𝔂’𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓱𝓮𝓻 ‘‘𝓫𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓲𝓼𝓶’’

CW: these are all suicide notes. They do not reflect my mental health in any way.

✮ Ivy to Travis

✮ Ivy to Lucas

✮ Ivy to Robin

✮ Ivy to Natalie

✮ Ivy to everyone

[sillyslvt]

𝓚𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓜𝓪𝓻𝓲’𝓼 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓮

cws: none! it gets kinda fic-y though, so be warned

✪ Kayla and Mari had been dating since winter, and they stuck together whenever they could.

✪ Shauna was already someone Kayla disliked, but that just increased the more Shauna and Mari had at it.

“Hey, Shippy. Only I’m allowed to bite her.”

✪ it was a mutual dislike.

✪ Kayla had believed Mari during the soup-spit incident, but Shauna had actually held Kayla back to keep her from going after Mari until she was out of view.

“Let her go. She clearly doesn’t want to be here.” The “with you” went unspoken.

✪ Her wrist was bruised from how tight Shauna ✪ was holding it. Fuck, she was stronger than she’d thought.

✪ when she finally broke free, Melissa got in her way. “Just let her go, Kayla.”

✪ Kayla shoved Melissa out of the way and chased after Mari, but it was too late— Mari was fucking fast, and it was dark, and she couldn’t find her anywhere.

✪ Kayla stayed out all night searching for her, but ended up getting lost in the forest. Eventually she just slumped against a tree and cried.

✪ She was found the next morning by Travis and Lottie because she’d ended up wandering over by where they did their shroom trips.

“Kayla? What’re you doing out here?”

“Mari’s gone.”

✪ Travis was able to coax her back to camp, which is where she revealed to everyone else that Mari was missing and never came back.

“S—she’s gone, I can’t find her anywhere, fuck, she’s gone, she could be hurt—“

✪ it was Natalie who convinced her to go to sleep and promised that they’d start searching right away.

✪ she (VERY reluctantly and only because Natalie was watching her like a hawk) retreated to the tent she shared with Mari and curled up to sleep, hugging a backpack in place of her girlfriend.

✪ she had a nightmare— Mari running, tripping over something and hurting herself, and being stuck there and not able to get up.

✪ she woke up with tears in her eyes and determination in her gut. She’d find Mari. And if Mari didn’t come back, she’d kill Shauna; And she’d feel no remorse.

✪ Kayla was the most adamant in the search for Mari, often grouping up with Ivy and Robin.

✪ Eventually she asked Travis. she knew he’d be willing to search because of what had happened with Javi. (Plus, it’d get him away from Lottie.)

“He’s coming with me, Lott. We need the help searching, and he really knows the forest. Please.”

✪ Maybe it was the way her voice cracked over the “please,” but Lottie relented. So, Kayla paired up with a very grateful travis to go search.

✪ Sometimes Kayla would go alone, and Ivy, Nat, or Travis would be the one to bring her back to camp.

✪ Kayla ignored Shauna— avoided her like the plague, really— until Shauna said something she couldn’t ignore.

“Why are you even searching? She’s probably dead by now.”

✪ Travis had reached out to her, but Natalie had been the one to hold her back.

“Don’t. Please.”

✪ she hadn’t wanted to stop, but she didn’t want to cause more issues for Natalie. So she’d relented, turning on her heel and walking back into the forest to search.

✪ Kayla, being the one who was most determined, kept searching even when the others began to slowly stop.

✪ …which is why Kayla was the one to find her.

✪ she’d nearly stopped breathing when she first saw the shadow of someone stumbling through the forest. it had to be her, had to be. She’d know her anywhere.

“Mari?”

Mari whipped around, eyes wide, before she sagged in obvious relief.

“Kayla!” She jumped as best she could before wincing in pain, stretching up and waving her hands around. “Kayla, o-over here!”

✪ Kayla had ran forward and all but tackled Mari into the tightest hug she’d ever given her.

[ill yap more about this i swear. full convo here]

✪ Kayla didn’t let go of her until Mari said she was ready to go back to face the others, and even then Kayla still clung to her hand.

✪ When they got back to face the others, Kayla tried to defend Mari against Shauna’s interrogation, but couldn’t.

✪ But then Mari looked up at Kayla, eyes imploring. should i?

✪ Kayla nodded and gave her hand a squeeze, ignoring the pang of guilt that filled her at what they’d do to Coach Ben if they found him. “I think she knows,” she murmured. “They’ll figure it out soon anyway.”

✪ so Mari told everyone about Coach Ben while Kayla sat there with her arm wrapped around her shoulders.

✪ That night, Kayla took Mari to the river to help her clean up. Neither of them spoke, but Mari was clearly upset.

✪ It was only once they got back to their tent that Mari spoke.

“I’m sorry.” // “For what?”

“For running off like that. For telling them about Ben.” She laughed, bitterly. “You must hate me now.”

Kayla huffed. “I could never hate you. Not even when you run off like an idiot.”

“Ben, however…” // “…okay, you caught me there.”

“Why’d you let me tell them about him? He’s done a lot for you.”

Kayla paused, sighing. “Shauna knew already. She’d’ve found him one way or another. And besides, it was your decision to make.”

“It was a stupid one. I don’t want them to hurt him.”

✪ Kayla knew when to give up, so she just laid down and patted the space next to her for Mari to come close. When she did, Kayla just wrapped her up in her arms and buried her face in Mari’s shoulder.

“You don’t get to run off like that,” Kayla whispered. “We were starting to think you were dead, Mar. I can’t lose you. You don’t get to die, not over something as stupid as pissing Shauna off.”

✪ Mari laughed, but nodded.

“You gonna go all guard dog on me?” // “Why, you into that?”

When Kayla thought Mari was asleep, she whispered: “Please don’t leave me.”

Mari hummed. “I won’t.”

“Promise?” // “Swear it.”

<3

A/N: I love these fucking idiots. Anticipate more Kayla content soon

[sillyslvt]

does ivy have a wilderness nemesis ?

Multiple!! Shauna and Lottie mostly though. I’ll do better posts elaborating on it later I’m feeling lazy rn but want to make sure this gets answered <3

tysm anon :)

[sillyslvt]

whats ivy's role in the wilderness group ?

after Misty’s banned from ever going near the food, they needed another cook. Ivy volunteered— or really, Melissa volunteered her and Natalie latched onto it and told her to— and so she ended up cooking for them <3

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what's ivy's worst injury she obtained while in the wilderness ?

probably the sickness she got from attempting to drown herself in the frozen lake! (See this post.)

[sillyslvt]

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽:

𝓚𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 𝓣𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓼𝓸𝓷

𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸

𝓑𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓰𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭

𝓚𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 𝓧 𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷

𝓚𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓜𝓪𝓻𝓲

✪ Kayla and Mari’s disappearance

𝓞𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓹𝓼

𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓬.

[sillyslvt]

𝓚𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 𝓣𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓼𝓸𝓷

✪ main fandom: yellowjackets

✪ face claim: kristen stewart as bella swan

✪ age: 17

✪ timeline: teen for sure

closest to:

✪ Mari (gfs)

✪ Natalie

✪ Van

✪ Ivy + Lilly (my other ocs)

[sillyslvt]

𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽:

𝓛𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓑𝓮𝓻𝓷

𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸

𝓑𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓰𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭

𝓛𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓧 𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷

𝓛𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓛𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓲𝓮

𝓞𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓹𝓼

𝓜𝓲𝓼𝓬.

[sillyslvt]

𝓛𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓑𝓮𝓻𝓷

✰ fandom: yellowjackets

✰ face claim: Taylor Momsen as Jenny Humphrey

✰ age: 16

✰ timeline: teen for sure, idk about adult yet

✰ best friend: Natalie <3

✰ Laura Lee’s sister— uses her mother’s maiden name to distance herself from the family.

✰ middle name is Leigh. She never uses it and hates when anyone else does.

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𝓜𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓼!!

✮ 𝓘𝓿𝔂 𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴��𝓻

✪ 𝓚𝓪𝔂𝓵𝓪 𝓣𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓼𝓸𝓷

✰ 𝓛𝓲𝓵𝓵𝔂 𝓑𝓮𝓻𝓷

[sillyslvt]

does ivy make it to adult timeline ? if not how does she die ? if so , what's her role adult timeline ?

[WIP] idk how to access my drafts…

ooh, okay!! Ivy DOES make it to the adult timeline, mostly because I can’t kill her off for Lucas’s sake…

I’ll refine more details once season four comes out and more is established post-crash, but here are the details for now:

𝓐𝓭𝓾𝓵𝓽 𝓘𝓿𝔂

𝓕𝓪𝓬𝓮 𝓒𝓵𝓪𝓲𝓶: 𝓡𝓮𝓮𝓼𝓮 𝓦𝓲𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓹𝓸𝓸𝓷

✮ Ivy goes fairly numb after the crash— not even from drugs. She shuts down to cope.

✮ She only talks to Nat, Travis, Van, and Melissa out of the adult timeline, but contact with everyone but Nat slowly ceases as the others distance themselves from everything

✮ soon she’s only in contact with Nat, and even she doesn’t keep up much. Just letters and texts every so often.

✮ she doesn’t talk to Shauna or Tai and only visits Lottie in the hospital once.

✮ Misty reaches out. She ignores her.

[sillyslvt]

RANDOM OC QUESTIONS ATTACKKK

-does ivy know how to use chopsticks ?

-whats her opinion on mismatched socks ?

-is she trick or treating or is she giving out candy ?

-out of all the jackets , who would she push into a pool upon given the choice ? is she the type to push someone into a pool ?

-whats her favorite food ?

-thoughts on tomatoes ?

-if she ever got arrested , what for ?

YAYY!!

𝓤𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓕𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓼 (𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓽𝔀𝓸)

Can Ivy use chopsticks?

✮ Yeah. None of the other extrajackets knew how to, though, so Ivy’s somewhat mediocre skill seemed amazing to them!

✮ she actually fashioned a pair of chopsticks in the wilderness for all the extrajackets so there’d be some sense of normalcy. Like they were curled up eating shitty food in Ivy’s room late at night.

Opinions on mismatched socks?

✮ Half the time she’s too busy to put outfits together, so she usually wears mismatched socks. She typically doesn’t even realize it most of the time.

Trick or Treating or giving out candy?

✮ She’d love to go trick or treating with her friends, but if she doesn’t hand out candy at her house, nobody will, just cause Lucas and her mom are so busy.

✮ freshman year, though, he surprised her by taking the day off and letting her go with her new friends!

✮ they did a group costume as Alice and Wonderland characters <3

Ivy: Alice

Melissa: White Rabbit

Gen: Cheshire Cat

Britt: Mad Hatter

✮ Ivy used it as an excuse to get all dolled up in a cute dress because she didn’t have that chance often.

✮ the photo is still in her room.

Pushing __ into a pool?

✮ Ooh, she totally would push someone into a pool, but for many reasons. I have a few different ones for this:

Travis— the fucking idiot needs to relax. he’s so goddamn uptight, so she’d do it just to fuck with him

Van— the older girl would probably just drag Ivy in with her, but Ivy would do it anyway.

Britt— revenge.

Natalie— again, probably just to get the other girl to laugh.

Misty— so she’d feel included <3

Melissa— catharsis.

Favorite food?

✮ strawberry ice cream. she never buys it for herself because it’s a little pricey sometimes, but Lucas gets it for her on special occasions.

Thoughts on tomatoes?

✮ she hates red sauce but loves tomatoes.

✮ eats tomatoes like apples to freak people out

Getting arrested?

✮ pre-crash? never.

✮ post-crash?…yes, and either for aggravated assault, breaking and entering, or (most likely), being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

✮

tysm for the ask!! keep em coming <3

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YALL ARE THE FUCKING BESTTTTT

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𝓘𝓿𝔂 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓝𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓪𝓵𝓼

✮ I mentioned in a different post that Ivy wasn’t supposed to be at nationals.

✮ This is because during the game in which the team made it, Ivy got benched with a broken arm.

✮ It was like an Allie situation, but flipped— Ivy was shoved to the ground because there was a scout at that game and Ivy had been playing really well.

✮ Ivy had scored, and then she’d hit the ground. She didn’t know who pushed her, but she knew arms didn’t make that noise.

✮ She’d let out a pained cry, but quickly pushed herself up. She’d been determined to finish the game; Misty was finally able to coax her off the field, much to Coach Scott’s relief.

✮ Misty had been the one to take her to the hospital, too, because Ivy didn’t have a car. Both Lucas and her mom were at work.

✮ She’d put off calling Lucas as long as she could, until the doctor finally told her she needed to call an adult. So she called him.

✮ He came right away, wrapping her in a tight hug.

“Jeez, Vee. What the hell’d you do?”

“Wasn’t even me this time. Got pushed.”

“By who?” // “Dunno.”

✮ Ivy didn’t play much soccer after that. When the time of Nationals came closer, Ivy was told she could come if she felt up to it.

✮ The plan was for Ivy to just stay home, given that she couldn’t do much, and as disappointed as she was, she’d been willing to do that so that the team was happy.

✮ that was, until she heard Lucas and her exhausted mom arguing.

✮ “Luke, c’mon. I’ll be lucky if I’m able to afford groceries for this week. We should let her go, just so we don’t have to worry.”

✮ It was then that Ivy truly realized how much of a goddamn burden she was. She should’ve been paying more attention so she would’ve seen who pushed her, that way they could’ve helped with the hospital bills.

✮ “Mom, c’mon. She’s hurt, still. Just cause you didn’t want two kids doesn’t mean you can just disregard her like that.”

✮ Ivy heard this and was understandably horrified. This was, unfortunately, how she’d learned that she was an accidental pregnancy.

✮ She’d decided, then— she was going.

✮ They had to board the flight early, so Ivy snuck out to Robin’s that night, a hastily packed bag over her shoulder. She wrote a note to Lucas and a separate one for her mom (see under the cut for these)

✮ she hadn’t told Robin everything, but she’d broke down crying.

✮ When asked why she was there, she just said:

“I don’t know what you mean. I was told I could come, so I’m here.”

✮ So they’d let her on the plane, and she’d plopped down next to Robin and Britt.

✮ she almost felt guilty for not saying goodbye, but it’d be fine. She’d be back soon.

notes + reactions under the cut ^_^

Mom,

I’m going to Nationals. Packed everything I need.

Have fun pretending not to have a daughter for a bit. Hope this makes things a little easier.

I’ll see you when I get back. Love you.

- Ivy

──── ✮ ────

✮ When Ivy’s mom found this note left on her nightstand, she started to cry. She’d never meant for Ivy to feel unloved, or unwanted, but she had.

✮ She did love Ivy, she really did, but she was just exhausted and overwhelmed.

✮ she’d called in sick to work, sitting on her bed and just crying, because her own daughter felt like she didn’t love her,

✮ that’s how she was when Lucas found her.

✮ ──── ✮ ──── ✮

Lucas,

by the time you read this, I’ll be at nationals. Or, on the plane there. Not sure, yet.

I’m sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. I knew you wouldn’t let me go if I’d asked. Robin’s taking me there, and you know how her mom is, so you don’t have to worry about my safe return.

I know we agreed I’d stay home, but I heard what you said to mom, earlier. I’m sorry I’m making everything so much harder. This way you don’t have to pay for more groceries. This way you can live like you were supposed to, as an only child.

Please rest and take a break. You’ve been picking up a lot of extra shifts. Don’t overwork yourself.

Love you, Luke. See you when I get back :)

- ♡ -

Ivy

p.s. give waffles (her rabbit) some love for me

──── ✮ ────

✮ When Lucas saw his note, he was just shocked. He’d stood there just staring down at it.

✮ he’d stormed into his mom’s room, furious at her for making Ivy feel so unwanted, only to freeze when he saw her crying.

✮ he’d sat down on the bed next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, crying quietly.

✮ “She’s a strong girl. She’ll be fine.”

✮ “You’ve done good with her.” // “I shouldn’t have had to.”

[sillyslvt]

quick breakdown to make my life easier

IVY’S AGE:

During the crash: freshly 15.

Mid-crash: turns 16

Post crash: 16

Goes back to school as a junior: turns 17

Graduates early: 17

[sillyslvt]

𝓘𝓿𝔂 𝓽𝓸 𝓣𝓻𝓪𝓿𝓲𝓼

𝓬𝔀𝓼: 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓲𝓼 𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓼𝓾𝓲𝓬𝓲𝓭𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮. 𝓾𝓱𝓶.

please just don’t read this one if you know it’ll upset you. it is not my note. I am not feeling suicidal. I am fine. This is a fictional note to a fictional character from a fictional character and does not in any way reflect my own experiences in life.

note (+ brief Travis reaction) under the cut.

Travis,

I’m sorry.

I really wish I had more to say, but I can’t think of anything I mean more. Every time I try to write something down it sounds all self-pitying, and you don’t need to hear (or, read, in this case) all that right now. Or ever. It shouldn’t be on you.

I’m sorry that I’m doing this so soon after Javi. You don’t deserve to lose someone else so quickly, i know that, but you’re not really losing anyone, if you think about it. Just pretend I died in the initial crash. Or froze. Anything to make this less painful for you.

I’m sorry I couldn’t save him. Hell, while I’m doing this, I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I shouldn’t known something was off during Doomcoming. I should’ve been able to stop them from hurting you. I should’ve done more. I could’ve stopped you from drinking it and I didn’t.

I’m sorry I couldn’t do more. I’m sorry you’ve kept me alive for so long just for me to turn around and do this.

I hope know you’ll make it out of this alive, even if I don’t; because you’re strong. You’re stronger than me, because if I lost even half of what you have I’d’ve killed myself far, far sooner.

If it weren’t for you, I would’ve killed myself far, far sooner. Thank you for that, and thank you for everything.

You were an amazing big brother, even if you weren’t mine. I love you

Thanks, Trav. For all of it.

Love,

Ivy Roy Parker

(P.S. you all guessed wrong, but you were somehow closest. nice one.)

♡

✮ he and Natalie were the lightest sleepers of the group, so it didn’t take him long to wake up when he heard the door. He found the notes left for everybody, then the other separate ones. He pocketed his before yelling for the others to come in.

✮ the ONLY reason he wasn’t out there searching for her was because of how scared Robin was. Once he’d calmed her down a little and she’d cried herself out, he’d opened up his note and read it.

✮ it was his turn to start crying, then— more silently than Robin had, sure, but his shoulders shook all the same as a few stray tears slid down his cheeks.

✮ fucking idiot.

[sillyslvt]

𝓘𝓿𝔂 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓯𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻

𝓒𝓦: 𝓪𝓵𝓬𝓸𝓱𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓶, 𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓵𝓭 𝓪𝓫𝓾𝓼𝓮, 𝓭𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓬 𝓪𝓫𝓾𝓼𝓮

edit: tagged infidelity but changed my mind, here is the correct cws

quick clear up— this is NOT my experience. (shoutout to my dad!! he’s awesome and I love him!!) please don’t read this one if there’s a possibility of it triggering bad memories. im willing to change anything that doesn’t seem necessary or feels incorrect, but this is the backstory i have created for my character and it is the one that properly contextualizes her experiences most.

happy (late because this was supposed to be done yesterday) father’s day. i hope your dad is nothing like Ivy and Lucas’s

✮ Ivy’s dad never truly treated Ivy like a daughter, even though she had his features. She was Lucas’s sister and her mom’s daughter; not his.

✮ this is because Ivy wasn’t a planned pregnancy. they hadn’t wanted a second kid, but when they saw how excited Lucas was about having a little sibling, they knew that they had to go through with it.

✮ the marriage had been strained before that— Ivy’s dad drank a lot, and Ivy’s mom didn’t like that.

✮ after the second child, he had to work more and ended up drinking a lot in the evenings.

✮ he never physically harmed or assaulted Ivy when he was inebriated. when the night drinking turned into day-drinking, he stopped showing up to Ivy’s events (he’d already stopped showing up to Lucas’s) and got far more snappy.

✮ (keep in mind Lucas is six years older than Ivy!!! he’s seen the day drinking and is old enough to know what it means and notice the difference.)

✮ one of the only good memories Ivy had of her father was when he went on a walk with her. he’d been drunk, which Ivy hadn’t noticed because she was eight.

✮ he’d taken the ribbon out of Ivy’s hair— a white one with pretty lace— and tied it around a tree “so they wouldn’t get lost”.

✮ he’d promised they’d get it when they went back around, but they hadn’t passed by it. she’d been sad about it (as an eight year old would be) and it’d started raining on their way back.

✮ she’d went crying to her mom, cold and wet, and her mom had been FURIOUS at him for not looking into the weather or even just looking at the fucking clouds in the sky.

✮ her parents had fought that day. badly. it was the worst fight she’d ever seen them have, and from the looks of it, they’d done it often.

✮ her dad had walked out into the storm after that. Ivy had ran after him, crying, screaming for him to come back.

✮ “dad! d-daddy, please, where are you going?! Dad!!”

✮ Lucas (who was fourteen) had come after her and held her in the rain while her mom retreated up to her room. It was him who’d given her a warm bath afterwards and let her sleep in his room while their mom cried.

“Don’t ask him to stay, vee. He won’t.”

“Why not?” // “Because he’s bad.”

✮ the next day, Lucas had gone back to get the ribbon. it was tattered and dirty so he’d went and bought a new one, pretending it was the same. Ivy was elated.

✮ when her dad had come back to get his things (a few months later— Ivy was nine by now) she saw him hit her mom.

✮ she’d ran up to Lucas’s room and let him hold her, burying her face in his neck and shaking.

“why’d he do that?” // “I don’t know, Veevee. I don’t know but I’ll protect you, okay?”

“I don’t think he’s coming back.” // “…yeah. Me neither.”

✮ When Ivy thought she was old enough to know what happened (thirteen), she’d asked Lucas (nineteen) about him. And he’d told her everything.

✮ it made Ivy feel sick, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking questions.

“Had he hit her before?” // “Yeah.”

“Did he hit you?” // “…only if I intervened.”

✮ when he’d told her that, she’d burst into tears and just wrapped him in the tightest hug. he’d been surprised for a moment until he’d felt her tears on his shirt and then he’d just sighed.

“I’m sorry I asked him to stay.” // “Don’t be. Mom let him.”

“But why?” // “She loved him. Or…wanted to. But he didn’t love us.”

“I’m sorry, Luke.” // “You don’t have to be.”

“You were a kid, Vee. // “So were you.”

✮ that was when he’d really stiffened, frozen completely, and then he’d crumpled and started crying, letting his own tears fall into her hair as he gave her the firmest hug he could.

“How are you so smart? You’re like ten.”

✮ she hadn’t responded. just hugged him tighter as they both cried.

✮ their dad had tried to come back a few times (because he got drunk / high…) but Ivy never knew (she wasn’t told) and he’d never asked about her.

✮ the only time she knew about this happening was when Ivy was fourteen and Lucas was twenty.

✮ Ivy had answered the door, and Lucas had been in the kitchen. He’d froze, dropping the glass he was holding, the perfect expression of controlled fear on his face.

✮ Ivy had paused, and she’d only looked back when their dad had addressed Lucas directly. Ivy barely even heard what he’d said, just caught that he’d said “scared, boy? Come here, let me get a look at you.”

✮ he’d pushed forward, and Ivy had pushed back, screaming in his face.

“No! You don’t get to talk to him!”

✮ Her dad had stilled, clearly furious. “I can talk to whoever I want. I’m your father.”

“No you’re not. You haven’t been my dad in years.”

✮ That had pissed him off, and before she could react, he’d grabbed her by the front of her shirt and tugged her close.

“Listen here you little brat—“

She could hear Lucas taking a step forward. “Get your hands off her!”

“Shut up!”

✮ Ivy had just barely managed to not flinch back at how close he was as he screamed. She just stood there and let him yell in her face, and when he was done, she just whispered “you’re not my dad. you’re a pathetic excuse for a human with a smaller dick than your brain.”

✮ Her dad’s grip on her shirt tightened. “Let me talk to the boy.”

✮ She could hear Lucas’s breath catch behind her. He’d never admit to being scared, but she didn’t have to look behind her to know he was.

“No. You don’t get to. You’re going to leave, now, or I’m going to call the police.”

“You’re protecting him? You’re protecting him from me? I’m his father!”

“No, you’re not. You’re an abusive sonofabitch, and he’s a far better man than you’ll ever be!”

“You’re just like your bitch of a mother,” he spat, shoving her with so much force it sent her stumbling backwards. “Forget it. He’s not worth it anyway.”

✮ oh, fuck no. she wasn’t going to let that be the last thing Lucas heard.

“He’s more worth it than you! He’s more of a father than you ever were and it wasn’t even his job to be. So just get OUT!! Get out and don’t come back, just fucking LEAVE!!”

✮ it took some more screaming and shoving, but he did eventually leave.

✮ Once he was gone, she shut the door and slumped against it with a sigh. she turned to where Lucas was standing in the kitchen, staring at her with wide eyes. He looked terrified, very uncharacteristically so. She could see his hands shaking.

“Are you okay?” He stepped forward, pausing a few feet in front of her, hands hovering as though he wanted to touch her but wasn’t sure if he’d be allowed.

She nodded. “Think so.”

“Did he hurt you?” // “No, I-..I’m fine.”

“You didn’t have to do that. He could’ve-...” // “I won’t let him hurt you. Never again. Not when I stood by so much.”

Lucas had just stepped forward and given her a hug. They both ignored the way he was still shaking, his hands clutching at her t-shirt.

“It’s not your job to protect me. That should be the other way around.” // “It’s not your job either. You’re not my dad.”

“Yeah, but you deserve to have one.” // “Not if he sucks.”

He sniffed, pulled back. “Shit, i broke the glass. I should clean that up.”

“Don’t you dare. Your hands are still shaking. Just sit down, I’ll get it.”

✮ From then on, Ivy didn’t feel jealous of all the other girls who had good dads. She had her brother— that was enough for her.