sillystringedrat

[sillystringedrat]

wait ok now i'm curious how old were you when you joined tumblr and how old are you now

[sillystringedrat]

[sillystringedrat]

no but what you don’t understand abt fabriz is it’s mutual abandonment issues. it’s the pressure to become your father because if you don’t there’s nothing left of him. it’s two people who both put on confident fronts to mask their insecurities. it’s having tunnel vision as a coping mechanism. it’s finding a home in the last person you expected to. it’s being labeled as “too intense”. it’s boyfailure x boyfailure. it’s undying devotion to your best friend. it’s nerd x jock. it’s queerplatonic, it’s romantic, it’s discovering you’re demi or bisexual or aroace, it’s whatever you want it to be. it’s seeing the mirror image of yourself in someone else, and being the only two people capable of recognizing it. just like it’s seeing your own identity in these characters and letting them reflect it back at you.

[sillystringedrat]

Between fabragh thistlecaster and fabriz it’s clear Fabian has a thing for green guys

[sillystringedrat]

there’s something so personal about the scene in fantasy high s1e7 where gorgug calls himself stupid & fabian, who up to that point had basically entirely been acting like the bad kids (especially gorgug) were beneath him & had also been the one calling ragh stupid two lines ago, instantly says “okay, do not put yourself down like that. don’t you dare do that to yourself.” like it was obvious he liked the bad kids at that point but the instinct to protect his friends manifesting as an immediate strong refusal of gorgug’s self-deprecating talk kills me. that boy loves his friends so bad oh my god i feel sick.

[sillystringedrat]

can't stop thinking about brennan saying "i'm going to describe something very heartbreaking now." how often does he break the kayfabe just to warn one of the players about the next thing he's going to say?? so much tragedy in dimension 20 but it's here, this moment, that is devastating enough that brennan takes a moment to give a warning: i'm going to describe something very heartbreaking now.

adaine abernant grew up lonely and abused in the shadow of a cruel, perfect aelwyn who could do no wrong. adaine didn't even want to find aelwyn, and every step their adventure took in her direction was a step adaine asterisked with a loud proclamation that she hated her bitch sister and didn't care about finding her. and only after discovering that aelwyn had been a months-long prisoner, tortured at her parents' hands, only after hearing a destroyed aelwyn apologize, does adaine consider that maybe aelwyn was a victim, too. and she overcomes her childhood resentment. she sees the bigger picture. she rescues her sister. she protects her as they sleep, and aelwyn's magic protects them in return. it is, maybe, the first time adaine truly feels that she has an older sister. and there's hope now. aelwyn has been broken down, but also redeemed, and they're together now, and adaine can help her, and they can be a family, because people aren't perfect, but aelwyn said she's sorry. and adaine goes into her mind and sees all the self-loathing she never knew about, and even more than that the fear of their parents, and she understands aelwyn so perfectly in this moment, all bitterness and spite dissolved, just a young woman taking a leap of faith and being rewarded with family, finally, a sister she never got to have, who actually loves her and believes in her and wants to keep her safe.

and then aelwyn's memory resets.

and in an instant, adaine loses everything she never knew she could have.

pretty heartbreaking.

[sillystringedrat]

Fear avatars your guys

Choosing who’d be what was outrageous

MISSPELT LONELY

[sillystringedrat]

fig and the bad kids + holiday kisses

[sillystringedrat]

Whenever Lou (as Fabian...or as Pinnochio) gets both positively or negatively excited he grabs at his friends (especially Ally lol) so I like to think Fabian does that too.

Whatever it is he's gonna grab someone's shoulder and shake or jump or something, especially with Kristen. I think he and Kristen actively start shoving each other. He uses the same amount of force on Gorgug but it barely moves him, so with them it's more Fabian hanging onto him and Gorgug shifting his weight around to entertain him. Fig isn't as strong as the other two but she's three times as enthusiastic so she and Fabian for sure grab each other and jump around. She happily body checks him. It never ends well for her and she keeps doing it.

Riz is too small (and weak. -2 strength is no joke he's NOT wrestle-able) so I think he picks him up and excitedly shakes or squeezes. Riz canonically does not mind being picked up by his friends so I think he fully just doesn't acknowledge it. It gets to the point where Riz just continues giving a serious report with a straight face while his pathetic bestie is holding him in his arms and squeezing him like a very big stress ball. He's also a little less rowdy with Adaine purely because his battlemaster brain goes "shit wizard don't shove the wizard" but he does pick her up and spin her around for sure (like their players in the quangle I just remembered :D)

[sillystringedrat]

Got my first mobility aid the other day (a folding cane). I’ve walked around with it a few times now and oh my god it helps so much.

Literally nothing else I’ve tried to ease my pain (knee braces, compression sleeves, etc.) has helped like this has. I felt like I could actually walk distances again. It’s so fucking nice.

I hate having to hide it from family (they’ll just say I “don’t need it,” “it’s all in my head,” “[I’m] not disabled”), but I’m using it whenever I can.

Anyway in celebration I made some picrews of myself with a cane!

Picrew credits:

Cool Kid Maker by backpackjack

Moon’s Character Maker by Unbouncy

sillyguy maker by jaywasdied

lillycrew by itslillyillustrates

pixel friend! by olibuki

🌸funky little icon maker🌸V2 by thereisteainmyshoes

little guy maker by reelrollsweat

bluef00t OC maker by bluef00t

smol maker by swirleige

Mobility aides are freedom!

[sillystringedrat]

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.

[sillystringedrat]

the fact of a garden

[sillystringedrat]

so my apartment building got a notice board to post fire alarm tests and maintenance announcements and such. the building is pretty well-maintained, so we rarely get notices. the board is big and grey and to think it would be empty like that 99% of the time was a bland boring sin i just couldn't bear, so i vandalized the corner of its empty canvas with a teeny tiny Guy

and within a few days, there was a sudden addition from my one of my neighbors along with a Bunch of thumbtacks. this was an unexpected, but welcome surprise!

well there was still so much space, i figured i'd add another crumb to the art hoard. i'd been playing genshin that day so i drew my favorite grandpa

and like clockwork, new art manifested!! this person is gonna grow to be a great artist i know it. the detail in those stones? hell yeah that's cool.

we're two weeks into it. more neighbors have joined in with their artwork. who knew there were so many artists in my building?? we're onto somethin great here i just know it.

[sillystringedrat]

[sillystringedrat]

When your best friend knows you probably don’t want to be left alone and keeps you company in your room with your motorcycle, despite that motorcycle hating him.

When your best friend is the one who cuts you down from the ropes you’re tangled up in, bleeding with a giant gash on your chest and bloomers on your head.

When your best friends bleeding from getting tattooed all over his body and he still rushes over to Garthy O’brien to try to get to you as fast as possible because he KNOWS YOU and knows your probably doing something stupid.

[sillystringedrat]

tiny bad kids my beloveds

[sillystringedrat]

Actually yknow what. WTNV should be considered revolutionary and significant gay media that played an important role in the growth of gay representation in media especially in podcasts. When people talk about important gay media in the early 2000s I want wtnv to be one of the ones people talk about. No if ands or buts about it.