silverbluedust

[silverbluedust]

Feeeeeeling sad at the moment, wala man lang ma share-an. Except I prayed naman. Hehehe ngaa ka sad? Seriously?

[silverbluedust]

Di man pwede

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I honestly want to admit that I am afraid to like someone, pwede nalang ka adopt baby?

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I will never say bad things about you, miski di mo ko like or nakahambal ka sakon lain..

[silverbluedust]

11:55 sentiments

Looking at the photos—you, me, and those familiar moments, I just can’t but, relive those days. It was supposed to be a simple admiration. That exact moment, when that photo was taken, me wearning my uniform and my favorite gray knitted sweater, I remember…that’s when I realized that you are special…that’s when I told myself, yes…yes this is new, this is different, this one’s maybe worth it.

To my 30-year-old self, is it still worth it? Would you go back to your 19-year-old self and tell her about it?

Would you tell her that you’re gonna be this hurt? Would you tell her, “He will never like you?” I hope I could just warn her that leave something for yourself and don’t be too hard..

I wish…I wish I could just turn back time. 11 or 12 years? Here I am still crying.

[silverbluedust]

Okay lang, didto ta sa masbata eh.

[silverbluedust]

Melons are sweet, especially with the scent, I like them. Now…it’s been a few days and I am liking the taste of sliced melons and a drizzle of condensed milk. Hays. Pero namit.

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March of 2025 and that one person is still not into me. That’s still okay.

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Why do people with good intentions always get preyed? Life is sometimes rough, kaisa gusto ko man mangaway, masinuplada, or somebody nga wala sang labot..but, that’s beyod impossible. 🥺😔

[silverbluedust]

Lord, please..bring me closer to those people who would definitely help me—genuine people who will really help.

I am pleading to please keep me away from breaking. Lord, if this isn’t your will for me to stay then I will accept it.

[silverbluedust]

I am not happy about work anymore, right now I just want to be fired. I don’t really like being lazy. See? Kay na memohan ma giyo. Kon ako ya pa agyan agyan pa, amo na I don’t want to lead them.

[silverbluedust]

STORY TIME

Remember that student who was able to unlock one of my secrets, that’s not a secret anymore—me crushing on you?

Ahay, just this Friday while I was passing by the corridors, these BSA 4 students were waiting for their class, she was there too, of course, they were greeting me blah blah blah, and you know what..she looked at me frowning. As if I betrayed her or what.

Kita mo na? Ako gid ya pirme ang kontrabida sa mga may something nga girls simo. Ako ang gapangagaw, always. Me the epal.

Someeeeeday, I hope I will be able to find someone whom I will not be called the “villain” in the story. I hope I will be able to call him, “my home.” Someone I will not fight for a spot because mine is freely given.

Another sakit-simo-palanggaon-miski-from-afar segment. Haaay, will this even end? 😫😔😭 I hate these episodes.

[silverbluedust]

Lord, I commend you because everytime my heart wants to hate and be bitter against people, you always remind me that it’s not you who planted that seed of bitterness—instead you planted that seed of hope, love, and compassion within me.

Lord, I love you! Thank you..please, give me more patience and love towards people even if they are always hurting me. Change my heart, too I may break people’s hearts at times.

Gusto ko man tani nga way ni to forget but, you always remind me to be gentle and forgive. 😭😔😫

I praise you, Lord!

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.”

—

Matthew 5:8 NIV

We keep our hearts pure by focusing on the truth of God’s word, the Bible, then our hearts are ready to see God.

(via gracefaithworks)

[silverbluedust]

Lord, very kapoy. I know I prayed for work, pero kakapoy paayon. Lord, I need help..nakapoy ko, nagdugang pagid. I love man our department, I want to help pero people in that department man di mag help, ako lang pirme.

[silverbluedust]

Kabalo ayhan sila nga ako lang gagiyo sa SEAS? Program head palang ko daw 1 man show nani tanan ya. Kay kon gaan mo task ang teachers ang ihambal simo kapoy na kag may pamilya na. Ako gali ya? Kapoy kapoy bala. One thing nga na regret ko? Those times nga tani gin spend ko with mama and papa, atong times nga gaka gab e han ko kay ga oversee ko sa mga bata, mga gab e nga gaubra ko, tani gin spend ko to kay papa kag gin estorya.

Now…assigned to be DEAN kuno abi? Daw ginbalda ko pagid akon self. Waay gid ya sila gabulig. Sino mana bi ang indi magsinuplada kon damo akon ubra kay waay kamo gabulig. Di na ko ya ah. Ako tuod single, pero waay ko nanay? Waay nagid man ko tatay, pero bala tani ang times nga to nga ginpa gab e ko sa skwelahan kag giubra ko di, ginhatag ko sila haw.

Di na daan well compensated, waay pa may gabulig. Maano nalang ko ni sini nga SEM? Amo nagid niya pag resign ko. 😭😭😭

DI KO NI KAYA.

[silverbluedust]

Hays.

Kasakit sang mga friends mo maghambal sakon ba. Sorry, I really don’t want to be rude or act as if waay ka ga exist sa world, it’s just that they said and I think I really annoy you a lot. Huo na I will not bother you anymore.

[silverbluedust]

I saw your photos, somebody posted, greeting you a happy birthday. It felt good but, a little bit sad, and at the same time painful.

Still painful.

I know I can’t force things to happen, I can’t force you to recognize my existence, but I am trying to slowly get off your sight..getting there..and I hope one day, I will be able to give you that peace once I’m gone for good.

I hope you will be happy hearing the news, that I will finally be out, that there will be no annoying person who secretly likes you somewhere at work. I hope the Lord will allow me to go. That was my papa’s request..I dunno yet, but I also want peace in my heart.

I wanted to be happy, I missed those times I am happy and excited to see you. Now, I just can’t be happy anymore, it’s not about me anymore…what I want is you to be happy, and if my existence will hinder that, then I can always give way.

Everytime I see you, I feel guilty about liking you so much, I feel like I am violating you, I feel like it’s so wrong, I feel ashamed about myself liking you this much, I feel like I am asking for too much I don’t really deserve. People are true, ambisyosa ako. I dream and ask too much.

Is this still love? If this is love, I don’t want this anymore. You know…It’s okay that you hate me, I’ve already accepted that..also the fact that you will never like me? Like what they try to say to my face all the time. I already accepted that for the longest time. I know..I know my place..

I will no longer try to reach out to you, I will no longer try to talk to you. I will really try my best not to look at you, I know you hate it especially when it’s me. I will try my best not to cross paths with you again, I know you hate it when we cross paths..I will try my best that you will no longer be annoyed even with my voice. Please..hang on, I will be gone and will not be annoying you anymore. If this will make you happy, I will gladly make way just for you to be comfortable.

I know I will be happy somewhere, especially now, I really want to be free from heartaches. Papa’s gone, there maybe misunderstandings and heartaches too, but he was my papa. Still healing..and praying..and praying…and this? A heartbreak that I wanted to break too.