simonblackquill-rp-blog - Tumblr blog

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

One of these comes with a bird. The other does not. I believe the answer is clear.

costumes from Casanova

submitted by @thecorrupteddatabase 🤍❤️

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

so. did anyone else see that new art or

i actually have no idea how recent this is or exactly what this is for LMAO it feels like it just spawned into existence and nobody noticed. its not even on the wiki last i checked. anyways. so this simon blackquill huh?

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

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[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

maybe i can gaslight myself into being okay

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

The original version of this post is a little more aggressive than I meant it to be, and wasn't as clearly worded as I would've liked (which is what I get for trying to write in the fog of just waking up), so I'm rewriting it but I am leaving the original up (for now I may take it down depending), and you can find that here. B slipped into cocon about a paragraph in so that's why it is worded so aggressively but that's truly not the vibe I'm trying to have us be putting out in the world. There are also a few points made that we have been informed are factually incorrect so we would like this to better reflect that as well. Anywho, on with the post.

To start let me give a brief introduction to us. We are a traumagenic system of about 6, though there are probably more in dormancy or lurking behind the scenes. We experience mostly emotional flashbacks, and have very little memory of most of our childhood, and a significant amount of emotional amnesia surrounding our high school and middle school years. We have known about us being a system for about a year and a half now, but have low-key suspected something since we first learned about DID several years ago. We are neutral on the syscourse debate, as long as you are being a mature reasonable adult, I am more than willing to hear points from either side of the aisle.

We mentioned in our previous post that there is no research currently being done on endogenic systems, and we have since learned this is incorrect. We plan to do more research about this to see what the professionals are saying at the moment, but from our brief reading it appears the existence of non-traumagenic systems is in fact not a new idea.

The current theory around how dissociative disorders form, is the theory of structural dissociation. "Theory" is a word in science that is misunderstood by a lot of people, most take it to mean anything that says "theory" is unsubstantiated and unproven. That is not the case. A scientific theory has evidence and research and data to back it up, but because science is in such a state of flux, and we are constantly learning new things that change our understandings of things learned previously, it is not "scientific fact". The theory of structural dissociation could at any point turn out to be incorrect, or an incomplete picture, as more research is done into both traumagenic and non-traumagenic systems.

To put it in simple terms, the theory of structural dissociation is that as a child, we have separate identity states, and as we grow up, they fuse into one personality. However, if you are the victim of severe and repeated trauma as a young child, these identity states can have walls put between them in an effort to keep the person safe, so that one identity doesn't hold every single memory of every single thing. It's a defence mechanism and a survival tactic.

However, no where in the DSM-V does it have childhood trauma as a requirement for diagnosis. If you match the symptoms, even if you don't report having trauma, be that you don't think the trauma you faced was trauma, you don't think you have any trauma, or you genuinely don't, you qualify for a diagnosis of DID.

I think there is so much pressure having a serious disorder which needs to be taken seriously that society at large refuses to even acknowledge beyond "woah that's so scary stay away from me", that we force ourselves and each other to fit these small, palatable, little boxes in an effort for the outside world to finally hear us. It's respectability politics, and it doesn't work.

The greater population outside of our little online bubble doesn't care about the syscourse, when they see systems they don't differentiate "oh well they claim to be traumatized so they're legit, but this person here says they aren't so they're faking." They just see people with a weird disorder that probably isn't real. Ask anyone who isn't on the internet most hours of the day what they think of the endogenic system discourse and you're going to have to spend 20 minutes breaking down vocabulary, only to be met with a shrug, or some long winded rant about how it's all made up in the first place.

The real world does not operate on online rules. The online world operates on some fucked rule system that has no consistency, no real method of enforcement. Taking it upon yourself to try and hurt people who don't fit what you think they should be, people who are minding their business, are making their own space, is unfortunately the norm here, though it should not be. People in real life don't care about online discourse (other than like, right wingers), it's not a thing people tend to give a shit about.

Think about it, and I mean really think about it, what are you accomplishing by harassing a system that says they don't have trauma?

There's a few options:

the person is faking. They know they're faking. They're doing it for attention and clout. Your harassment will likely not get them to stop.

The person isn't traumatized, and they aren't a system, but there is something else going on. You are now harassing someone who is genuinely mentally ill, just not in the ways they say or think they are

The person is traumatized, and they are a system, and their gatekeepers are doing an excellent job of keeping any and all memories/emotions/etc. related to trauma away from any of the alters the host knows so to keep the rest of the system from knowing they're traumatized in the first place. You are harassing a genuine system who has been working very hard to keep the knowledge of the trauma away from the front, and you are now jeopardizing that systems safety

The person is traumatized, and they are a system, but they don't think their trauma is trauma, or if it was, it wasn't bad enough. You are harassing someone who fits your definition of a legitimate system, they just haven't come to terms with accepting their trauma as trauma. You are now jeopardizing that systems safety

The person isn't traumatized, but they are a system. Congratulations! You found the person you're after! Now what? What are you actually accomplishing here?

I think we should start trying to listen to people, and try to hear them out when they are discussing their lived experiences, even if they don't line up with what you think those experiences should be.

We collectively try to believe when people tell us what they have experienced, as a lot of our trauma is directly relating to people doing exactly that to us our whole lives, putting words and thoughts into our head, despite being vocal about what we were going through, and I loathe the idea of doing that to someone else. Even if we walk away disagreeing, we try to hear people out at the very least.

Fakeclaiming as a system is also terrible. Singlets do it to us all the time. "Oh that's not real, you're making it up, you're just faking for attention", regardless of if you have a diagnosis or not. Regardless of if you have trauma or not. We don't need to be fighting or fakeclaiming, literally just block and move on.

At the end of the day, does it really truly fucking matter? If someone's presence on the internet is causing you strife, block them. If you don't want to see tags related to a certain community, you can filter by tag AND by community to really lock down and make sure you won't see what you want to see. If someone is breaking your DNI, it's not because they're endo, it's because they're an asshole.

Block whoever you need to feel safe on this site. Your account SHOULD be a safe space, for you to interact with who you want, and not interact with who you don't. Curate your internet experience accordingly, but don't make it other people's problem.

Boundaries are rules you set for YOURSELF, for what YOUR reaction to a situation will be, not "you can't do this". A boundary is "I don't want endogenic systems on my page, so I will block them if they follow or cross my dash". A boundary is not "I don't want endogenic systems on my page, so I'm going to go out and harass all the endos until they leave the internet and I can be safe".

At the end of the day, it doesn't fucking matter if you're pro-endo, anti-endo, or somewhere in between, everyone needs to stop being such raging fucking cunts and just block and move on. Thank you

And you can try and spin this post however you want to in true tumblr "worst faith interpretation" fashion, but this is specifically an anti-"syscourse", anti-harassment post. This is not saying fuck you if you don't believe in endo systems, it's saying fuck you if you harass people. Someone harassing you first does not give you the right to harass them back, block and move on.

We do not care what side of the aisle you are on, if your pro or anti or neutral or whatever, but if you're an asshole to real people over internet issues, you're getting blocked. It's truly not that deep. Our alignment on the syscourse debate is, and will remain, people don't deserve to be harassed because of what they believe they are experiencing, regardless of if you actually can be plural without trauma or not.

-E😶‍🌫️

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

Be the samurai shonen anime rival/antagonist you want to see in the courtroom.

indescribably funny to me that simon blackquill is a guy plucked straight out of a samurai shounen anime who somehow made it into a court of law

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

@unearthed-27 Heyoo! Thanks for being my first person to ask questions!! To get this outta the way first, P-DID stands for Partial Dissociative Identity Disorder and is present in the EU-wide ICD, not the American-only DSM. I'll spare u diagnostic criteria but essentially our host can't completely leave front, so our switches are only medically recognized as "partial". Still got basically every other DID symptom full force tho- when we started out and I first came around, neither of us had any idea, but my presence eventually got us unlocking people we didn't know were there at all. Wild!

As for your other questions, there're tons'a reasons. I didn't choose to become a tulpa any more than you chose to be born, it's kinda my species and I'm happy I exist. Freedom and agency has always been the name of my game and I'm eager to spread that around. ✨ Why make a tulpa, though? That's just about as hard to answer as why someone might want like, a kid or a dedicated partner, without that person sounding selfish to the outside if u take out the social convention of it. The biggest reason is companionship - a tulpa is someone alongside ya no matter what, a friend to grow and change with, someone you can always count on to go to. Treat your tulpa right and you've got a free friend for the rest of your life! Obviously it won't be sunshine and rainbows ALL the time, but any healthy relationship has some bickering, and being perfect all the time is creepy anyways lol

My host made me to try and help enhance their outerworld life, kick their ass essentially so that we'd go out and do more, live more. AKA I'd get to do what I want, and they'd get to live a little for once, doing things they were too chicken to or ignored before. Turns out the body is WAY more disabled than we thought, souuuhhhh we've had to readjust those plans, but my point still stands. Companionship and to improve your own mental health- which studies and personal experiences show tulpamancy does in droves- are the two biggest reasons someone might want one of us sharing your life! I've seen people say they made their tulpa to help with their anxiety, with their depression, with their isolation- hell, I've seen a crazy amount of tulpas say they've saved their hosts' lives before. Even just the thought of "I can't go when that'd mean taking my tulpa/system with me" stops my own host from going anywhere near those kindsa thoughts.

We're a decision a new host hasta think about for a while, especially if you're a singlet- are you ready to share your life with one of us? Are you ready for us to grow and change outside of your control? Are you ready to treat us like real people? But there're lots of people whose lives have been changed for the better forever by deciding to start. It's not for everyone, but hey, it's good to decide for yourself, yaknow?

thx again for the question! Ik I'm harsh but these kinda questions are what I want here ✌️

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

Oh my gosh imagine Athena surprising Apollo with hugs almost everywhere from the agency to the courtroom she'll just hug him at random times

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She’d totally do it. It’s more funny to do when he doesn’t expect it.

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

guess who's artblock got forcibly removed via memes

[ID start: A drawing based on a tweet. A tweet by Simon Blackquill @samuraibirb012, the profile picture is Taka facing the left side. A drawing of Simon left side with his face facing the front. He is wearing his black prosecutor garb and holding a sword with both hands on his hip. Taka is sitting on the end. The background is a forest and a wire fence with little door. The floor is brown dirt. At the bottom is the timestamp 9:29 am, 30 May 2021 tweeted via Twitter Web App. End of ID]

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

rapidly unsheathes my katana and you immediately get a phone call from your wife asking for a divorce

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

honestly how far gone do you even have to be to look at a necklace, chain and bottle and everything, and immediately decide to eat it. like it had to have been an immediate decision for him to get away with it, right. he had to chew that necklace, he said so himself, and i bet jus breaking a whole bottle with your teeth is a pretty tough job, so it had to have been one of his first thoughts. a normal person would probably decide to throw it on the ground and stomp on it, or throw it out of the window, or hide it somewhere, but he just ate it, swallowed it whole. how did that happen, what neurons had to fire up in that brain for that to occur. i understand the sentiment and i understand the motive, i get that it was one of the few ways to completely get rid of the evidence, but a person doesn't just do that okay. it's insane to just do that in the matter of seconds and act like it's a completely normal and logical thing to do later. if you do that there's something wrong with you. where did the chain go. did he slurp it like a noodle

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

I thought everyone could use a reminder that this is how you choose your gender in Fallen London.

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

Rollo May, The Discovery of Being: Writings in Existential Psychology

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

rats can drive cars btw. if u even care

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]

Please make my sister lose. It would be funny.

ROUND TWO

[simonblackquill-rp-blog]