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I want to just make her hair black and have white and lilac highlights. Plus black lipstick

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My GODS. Okay—so, like, I was burnout out. Eyyy *finger guns*. Anyway, I was thinking of redoing my OC's UM (she's not supposed to be a Yuusona—I don'tremember if I wrote her as a Yuu-sona or nahh. I need to re-read shit emdmsm). I had an idea with her and like...her similarity and differences with Azul.

SUDDENLY, I remember the guy from Wish. The villain song may be ass (;-;). But the way he's introduced as a guy who's just probably a former people-pleaser and then ended up becoming so exhausted that he just went and gone the other end of the spectrum—to not help unless it may be very low-cost / less stress, and beneficial to him.

Soooo, there we go, an additional to how I'm redoing my oc :))

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I've been away but lately I've remembered I have OCs. The stress of college life will be all on her (except she isn't in college and she has magical powers so I'm gonna make her suffer more edkskwkw)

I have thoughts on giving Lore more angst regarding her UM. Also maybe even updating her design. Especially when Malleus in Book 7 did something that was similar to what I had planned her UM to be (except now I wanna modify her UM a bit to something else, something related to Alice in Wonderland).

Also I've been watching House MD and there's a specific scene / episode that inspired her updated UM.

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Silence - Lore

TW: Thoughts of su*cide, depression, negative thoughts

So, I randomly decided to write something as I have a breakdown. I dont know, this is pretty messy and just... eh. I needed to let out some feelings so there. I honestly dont know if i wanna change Lore's UM but I might someday or something. The people here are supposed to be Rook and Azul but right now Im too tired to wrjte them in detajl. I dont know why i did this in first person either since I havent written a first person persctive in a long long while. My lack of sleep and breakdown explains the messy,.everytbinf. i really dont know what the hell i wrote but i wrote something, so yeah

I thought I was fine. Sure I was wrong to think that I can handle this by myself. I'm on my third year, I'm not foreign to the concept of asking help. I've done that before. In little things such as studying so I can understand the lessons better.

So why is it that I feel so terrified to ask my friends for help?

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe!

I can't—

I could hear a faint knocking on my door. I don't think I can face anyone right now, I can't.

As I hug myself tight, the headache never fading as I feel my vision swirl. If I were to collapse here and not wake up for a while... would anyone notice? Surely someone would, they're my friends after all. And yet, I still feel uncertain. What if they don't notice? What if no one does?

Again, the knocking continues except this time much louder. I hear a few voices but they sound so muffled to my ears that I don't know who it is. I don't think I want to know either.

I want to cry and scream but if I do then they'll hear me.

I'm so tired.

I just want this to be over with. I want everything to be over with.

There was a faint clicking sound from the door— no!

I can't let them see me like this! I can't let anyone know. If they know then what if they see me as a burden? What if they see me as pathetic? What if they hate me?

And with that, despite being exhausted in every sense of the word—I used what's left of my energy to use my unique magic. "Dream Well", so that everyone outside of my room can't get in. I know after a while they'll just get in but at least... at least I held them off for much longer.

Grasping my chest for air, I felt my pen. My shaking fingers carefully removed the pen as I examine it; black, it's covered in black...?

I don't... I didn't think I used my magic all that much...

I feel so lonely. I don't want to exist anymore. I want to talk to them but I'm scared, I'm terrified. I want to pretend I never existed. I want to be comforted. I want to feel safe. I don't want to be a bother. I want to fade away.

The thoughts are getting louder... I know I shouldn't listen, I already went through this. I shouldn't listen. I shouldn't listen.

And yet I do. Even as the thoughts are nothing but doubts and lies that hold no truth, I listen.

The thoughts that tell me that they—everyone— won't care if I stop existing. The thought that I'm nothing but a bother to everyone around me. The thought that I shouldn't have interacted with anyone so that they wouldn't be dragged into my mess. The thought that I should've left them when it was still early, that way I wouldn't be wasting anyone's time.

I feel something wet on my face, the moment I touch my face, I was pulled back to reality. When did I start crying...? My fingers are shaking too...

I guess I was hyperventilating the whole time...

The more I feel myself come back to reality, the more I notice things. Like how my vision is foggy. Or how the dulling pain in my head never left, same with the dizziness.

I've been stuck to my thoughts this whole time that I never heard myself speak, I don't think I even remember how I sound like. My whole body feels so numb and weak. Do I just give in...? Do I just let the fatigue get to me...?

I feel like I'm close to fainting, it's a good thing I'm on the bed. I won't bother anyone. I won't be anymore. I'll just stay here for a long long while...

I must've forgotten about the people at the door since I heard a the click of the doorknob, someone's probably gotten inside. I don't have the energy to check anymore...

I think I heard someone say something to me but I can't make out what they said. Everything sounds so muffled. My vision is slowly being covered in black and all I saw are yellow and white till—

I woke up a day affter that. I knew because they told me. I don't know why they're here by my side. I also don't know why I opened up to them. I still want to run away and pretend I never existed nor mattered but right now... I'm fine existing...

They made me feel like my existence isn't a burden. I don't really understand how nor why... but I tried to trust them and their words. For now I'll accept the help they're offering.

I'm scared still. I don't want to involve them in my messy private life any further than this. I really don't want to, I'm fine choosing to hide my presence and my existence than to trust people. I really don't want to be a bother. But... for now I'll allow myself to be. I'll ignore the thoughts telling me how much I'm wasting their time and efforts. How I'm a waste of space. How I don't deserve the help they're giving me, the comfort and kindness.

The thoughts get louder each moment but I ignore it. For now I'll endure it, for now I'll ignore it. For now I'll accept their presence by my side. I may not tell them the thoughts in my head for now or any time soon but I can allow them to see my physical weakness. The effects of thoughts. For now I'll be fine.

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Changing Rune's story a bit to make it much better. Rune x Aarnav is like those teachers that you want to get together but still aren't but you can see that they like each other but just haven't gotten to being together. Idk my brain is empty right now as I wrote some more drafts for Rune's background, and how she had a relationship with Aarnav

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Just went back to say I might write something about a few of my ocs (they're a vent oc, that's the clue). Something heavy and a sensitive topic like drugs. So yeah, just a head's up in case I ever actually write it.

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Luni eating kwek kwek. Did this with an experiment style. I wasn't sure how I was gonna do the shading, it just randomly happened so there

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Honk honk clown Luni

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I guess I might be more inactive since I'm gonna be preparing for school next year....

So Rune & Aarnav's past, Luni's past, and etc will be a wip to be finished on... idk when. Sometime in the future, I guess?

Although I'll try to make art of all three of them. Maybe just not post it yet since I'll be focusing on that. Is it obvious that I'm anxious for school?

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Aaaaaa. I hate how I accidentally post a draft because I thoufht I was saving it. aaaaaa

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• Rune

Twisted Wonderland OC

• Name: Rune Darnall Auge

• Nickname: Rune

• Pronouns: She/Her

• Age: 34

• Birthday: December 31

• Occupation: Teacher

• Subject: Music

• Origin: Rose Kingdom (previously); Land of Pyroxene

• Appearance

: Lavender waist-length wavy (?) hair

: Green colored eyes

: 173 cm

: Fair

• Unique Magic

: The future knows (Currently editing)

○ About

: The power to see the future whenever she sings her song

: She can see a specific person's future / a group of people.

: She'll be covered in a violet glow when she sings. Then she'll see flashes of events from the future.

: Whoever hears her while she sings the song will see what she sees, the future.

○ Limitations

: She cannot see her own future

: Group of people she can see the future of is limited to 3.

: She cannot sing her song 4 times or more repeatedly. (No matter the manner of which she sings the song)

: Her audience / people that hears her sing should only be 3 or less.

: Should always be calm to keep her powers in control

: She can only lasts one to two repeats of her song before it (future) stresses her out

○ Consequences

: If she sees the future of 4 people or more then she'll becomes stressed which causes her to hyperventilate and make her lose control of her powers. (Plus a possibility of her fainting)

: When Rune is very stressed she starts singing without her control which activates her UM making her see the future without a specific target.

: Too much time of her using it (singing her song for a long time repeatedly) will result to her losing control.

: If 4 or more people are her audience or hears her sing then it will stress her out making her lose control. (She can sense how many people and who are listening to her sing her song.)

: When she loses control of her powers she is pilled with multiple visions of the future all at once which only stops when she faints or if she stops singing (usually by running out of breath).

• Other Info

: Rune dislikes seeing the future and using her UM and will only use it unless she needs to. She's not ready for the future because she's still living in the past.

: Doesn't use her UM when there are people nearby / only uses her UM if she's at home or alone.

: Wears Aarnav' s coat/jacket all the time (it keeps her calm and makes her feel safe)

: Wears make-up a lot to make herself look younger as a habit.

: Dislikes being belittled

: Doesn't like being told how young she looks despite how she does her makeup.

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Huh... ngl I thought I'd be able to do Luni's information more than Rune's. Hell I did S Aarnav's info is posted but Luni's isn't even done yet. ; w ;

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• Aarnav

Twisted Wonderland OC

• Name: Aarnav

• Nickname: n/a

• Pronouns: He/Him

• Age: 35

• Birthday: May 23

• Occupation: Nurse

• Origin: Land of Pyroxene

• Appearance

: orange with black and white locks of hair

: blue eyes

: olive skin

: 182 cm

• Unique Magic

: Hues of Pain (not sure with the name yet)

○ About

: Can see a person's pain through colors.

: When the UM is used he sees certain colors that indicates a person's pain. Blue for achy pain, indigo for dull pain, violet for raw pain, yellow for sharp pain, orange for sharp pain, red for throbbing pain. Green for comfort / no pain.

: The more saturated the color is the higher the intensity of the pain is.

○ Limitations

: The more the pain a person feels then the more colors he sees.

: Cannot use for 4 or more hours. (Need breaks in between to do so)

: Cannot look at too many heavily in pain individuals all at once. (3 is too many)

○ Consequences

: Cannot see his own pain unless he sees himself through a mirror

: If the UM is used for more than 3 hours then Aarnav will see too many colors and will experience a sensory overload.

: If the UM is used to three or more individuals at once then Aarnav will have a panic attack. Have a possibility of collapsing.

• Other Info

: Likes taking walks

: Is a very private person and has a small number of people that he trusts

: Stubborn

: Soft-spoken

: Although private with himself, he's friendly and jokes around every now and then.

: Is very serious when it comes to pain and injuries regarding others but not when it's himself (well, he is but he jokes around to not let people worry and not question him)

: Dislikes spicy food

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Okay, finally decided to finish Aarnav (S' new name). Idk when I'd draw him but I wrote stuff about him.

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• Luni

Twisted Wonderland OC

• Name: Luningning Flores

• Nickname: Luni

• Pronouns: She/Her

• Age: 16

• Birthday: November 4

• Dorm: Savanaclaw

• Club: Track and Field

• Origin: Pearl of the Orient

• Appearance

: Yellow-red gradient hair

: Brown

: 150 cm

• Unique Magic

: Handa— Kain! (Ready— Eat!)

○ About

: Makes food out of thin air by making it in her mind.

: Her UM doesn't take much magic but it does tire her mentally quickly due to her needing to imagine it being made in her head then having it in her hand.

: The easier she can imagine it properly the faster it will be done. The harder she imagines it the slower it gets done.

○ Limitations

: To be able to make the food she has to know the recipe.

: Can only make one dish at a time.

: Can only do up to 20 dishes per day.

: Needs to have seen the dish she'll make or else she'd make her version of it. (Her version is either decent, better, or worse than the actual dish)

○ Consequences

: If she makes 21 or more dishes in one day then she'll be too tired mentally to be able to think. Will be zoning out a lot and will be having headaches.

: If she forces herself or others force her to make two or more dishes at the same time then it will result in confusing the dishes or having a breakdown.

• Other Info

: Speaks in Tagalog in between sentences (does TagLish / mix of English and Tagalog)

: Loves to sing

: Plays the guitar

: Loves halo halo, kwek kwek, and turon. (Food from her homeland)

: Has a pet daddy long legs spider named "Ding ding" (wall / room partition in Tagalog)

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👀👀👀 Heheeeehheuehehehehe

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