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Short lesson: Don't trust someone who doesn't "believe" or doesn't use safe words. They are abusers trying to hide their abuse as kink.

As an addendum, avoid any one who says they don't have limits or who is looking for someone who doesn't have limits. They are looking for someone they can gaslight into thinking that they "wanted it". Everyone has limits. Everyone should accept your limits. Those that don't accept limits are just abusers hiding behind kink.

Be safe. Be sane. Protect yourself.

WHAT THOSE WHO IGNORE OR DEGRADE THE SAFEWORD TELL ME...

May 23, 2022

Very few concepts from the lifestyle have penetrated the vanilla world like the safeword has. Though I didn't really find the lifestyle until I was in my 40s, I have known about the concept of a safeword my entire life.

You can't argue your way around the idea of a single word, taken out of context, as a way to quickly stop the action during a scene. People do try. They buck the idea, and decide to use common vernacular like "yes" and "no" to communicate consent instead, but common vernacular can be confused and overlooked during a heated scene. They choose instead to use regular discussion and discourse, and leave matters of consent up to interpretation from their partner, and choose subjective rather than objective triggers to guard their consent. They choose to go without, because, "ours is an extraordinary superhuman dynamic, incapable of miscommunication, and no safety button is required." I've heard all the reasons why a simple one word safety measure to safeguard a partner's consent wasn't adopted by couples, and they have all been wrong.

You tell me certain things about yourself when you degrade the sanctity of safewords in your relationships, and in your writing.

To start with, I know you've spent time and energy on the idea of NOT incorporating a safety measure into your D/s play. You've examined a simple one word panic button, and somehow rationalized that you'd be better off without it, or that the safety it offers within your dynamic is somehow superfluous to you.

It makes me form opinions about people's intelligence. How do you argue against the safeword as the perfect simple communication to guard consent? It gets adapted to sounds or signals, but the concept remains the same: One short word/sound/action taken out of context. I challenge you to make it better.

I also feel like while the rest of us are trying to have nuanced conversations about modern automobile safety, that if you're still debating the validity of seatbelts as a safety measure, that you are trying to set yourself apart and go your own way. "What's that? Well known and established science that can keep me and my partner safe that 99.9% of participants accept and incorporate into their dynamics? My path lies elsewhere...."

I question your level of experience. Can this person possibly understand the levels of scarring and trauma that breaking someone's consent can cause, if they have chosen to part with safewords in some way? Have they spoken with subs who have trust issues, or PTSD from consent issues they have had within their prior relationships?

How can I believe you care about your partner the way that I do? If safeguarding their consent is not THE priority, and you have worked to keep a safeword away from them? You put effort into making the expression of their line of consent less sure - less cut and dry. Why would you do that?

Finally, so many times any degredation or lack of the safeword becomes a red flag for people who have dysfunctional egos, narcissitic personalities, and misogynistic mindsets. Often the idea that a dom "does it better than anyone else", or that a partnership is somehow so extraordinary that it doesn't need a safeword, is the core argument of people who degrade and dismiss safewords.

Your lack of safeword or other adaptation away from it's simple use within your D/s experiences expresses volumes to me, and everyone else who understands and respects safety and consent.

Tolerate no hedging of full and complete support of safewords within D/s relationships. No dynamic without one is as safe.

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I honestly think that anon is an incel who probably tried to push his luck in the DMs and couldn't take the rejection so lashed out in her Asks.

I mean, a) the only reason to hide behind anon is because you don't have the confidence to state your opinion publicly, b) it's typical for incels to use 'reality check' thinking that it lends credence to their thinly veiled insults, and c) unconfident low-life's always feel the need to try and drag others down in order to feel superior.

Too bad Tumblr nuked the ability to find the anon's profile from the thumbnail. I miss calling them out for crap like this.

just a quick reality check, weird ugly creeps and desperate incel societal outcasts are the only ones obsessing over your thirst trap pics, don’t forget this please

not knocking your hustle , just don’t let it all go to your head

"quick reality check: you're actually not as hot as you probably think you are . The people who like you are the creeps that can't get laid. Don't forget that you're actually mid".

Idk what your life is like. Idk what your experiences have been.

I will say this tho.

I refuse to ever tear anyone down or tell people to be less confident in themselves for any reason.

I am confident. And it has absolutely nothing to do with what I look like or what happens online. It has everything to do with who I am and what I bring to the table. I bring value to every conversation I'm in and I add in positivity, to every person whose life I touch.

Bonus:

It's not just incels or creeps who want me.

And if that's been your experience, I'm sorry that you've had to deal with that. That can feel like it's a you-problem, but it isn't. Don't ever let the attention you do or don't get be the barometer for your self-worth or confidence.

I have two partners who make it very clear that I am desired (for my looks and character) and a list of she/hes/theys I know (in person) who would love to eat me like their last meal. Don't get it twisted.

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Sorry I was staring. It's just that you look *exactly* like my next breeding toy!

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That's a whole lotta sexiness for less than the price of a fancy coffee! 🥵

On OF you will be able to see, for just 5$, the over 486 pictures and more than 232 videos that are available on my page. Sounds like a fair deal?

As always, remember I sell customized content too. Hit me up if you have any ideas you would like to request (every request is completely unique, and I'm kink friendly 💕✨️).

And if you just want to support me, you can always tip me on PayPal or check my links. This will be used to pay university bills. You can also follow me on X. New daily post 📫 ✨️

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Hi!! After a long time my OF is on sale again for a few days 🩶 click here

for both new & old subs

👾 No paywalls! It's all in the feed

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I'm going to take you on a long walk through the parks along the river until we find a nice park bench in plain view of everyone first...

Tie all four of my limbs down to whatever of your choosing, leave a vibrator on high against my clit, and check on me in an hour

Kkkkkk thankkssssss ☺️

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She deserves to be eaten out and have her tits sucked on whenever I want.

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I need a short chubby babysitter who gets off when I force my wifey to watch how I pay her at the end of the night.

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Me with you and all your girl friends.

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Consent ...is ALWAYS...crucial.

This is just a friendly reminder for those that need to hear it....

***Consent is given. NEVER taken.

*** If they didn’t consent at first, but relented after you badgered them, you don’t have consent.

***If they didn’t consent when they were sober but now they’re intoxicated and not resisting, you don’t have consent.

*** If they seem hesitant and not that "into" it. They are not a "Dick Tease", you just don't have consent.

If you are wondering, even the slightest bit if consent has been granted? You do NOT have consent.

Consent is clear, enthusiastic, and unmistakable.

Always.

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Definitely a YAY from me! Thick girls deserve to wear what they want, and I think that I deserve to be able to drool over them at a respectable distance... like maybe during skin to skin contact. 🥵

Thoughts on thick girls in bikinis? 🤔 Are we yay or nay?

REBLOG if you wanna see me in a new one this year 🥰 It’s been a while!

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For those that need a reminder, my favourite season has arrived... Sundress Season!

Please post pics in your favourite sundress and use one of the tags below, or green free to @ me in your post! 🥰😍

Sundress season is back 🤍

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I do agree with this, but if someone said "You need to get better at handling your thin skin" what I will hear is "Suck it up, Princess."

So maybe we need to workshop a better way to present this?

”getting thicker skin” is great in theory but I think for some people “get better at handling your thin skin” is gonna be way more helpful advice. I have strong emotional reactions to criticism and they might never go away, but i can continue to try and handle each situation maturely and that’s the important part. Sometimes irrational feelings are chronic and living with them is better than trying to beat yourself up into not having them.

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When you spend hours getting all pretty for him, just so he can come ruin it and make it run down your face 🫠