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Filipino children playing with spiders

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High School Popularity Doesn't Pay Off For Mental Health Later On | @curiositydotcom ....Having a BFF in high school is good for your future

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This Study Hack From a Stanford Researcher Gets A's out of B+ Students | @curiositydotcom

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Taking Notes? Science Says You Should Skip The Electronics And Write By Hand | @curiositydotcom

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Start of the Don Bosco Victorias Intramurals 2017

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The 5-Hour Rule Is Used By The World's Most Successful People | @curiositydotcom

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A top psychologist shares his 3-step method parents can take to discipline their kids

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The Secret To Creating New Habits That Stick Is The Three "R's" | @curiositydotcom

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Use these words more often...

The 200 Happiest Words in the English Language

Laughter, happiness, love, happy, laughed, laugh, laughing, excellent, laughs, joy, successful, win, rainbow, smile, won, pleasure, smiled, rainbows, winning, celebration, enjoyed, healthy, music, celebrating, congratulations, weekend, celebrate, comedy, jokes, rich, victory, Christmas, free, friendship, fun, holidays, loved, loves, loving, beach, hahaha, kissing, sunshine, delicious, friends, funny, outstanding, paradise, sweetest, vacation, butterflies, freedom, flower, great, sunlight, sweetheart, sweetness, award, chocolate, hahahaha, heaven, peace, splendid, success, enjoying, kissed, attraction, celebrated, hero, hugs, positive, sun, birthday, blessed, fantastic, winner, delight, beauty, butterfly,entertainment, funniest, honesty, sky, smiles, succeed, wonderful, glorious, kisses, promotion, family, gift, humor, romantic, cupcakes, festival, hahahahaha, honour, relax, weekends, angel, b-day, bonus, brilliant, diamonds, holiday, lucky, mother, super, amazing, angels, enjoy, friend, friendly, mother’s, profit, finest, bday, champion, grandmother, haha, kiss, kitten, miracle, mom, sweet, blessings, bright, cutest, entertaining, excited, excitement, joke, millionaire, prize, succeeded, successfully, winners, shines, awesome, genius, achievement, cake, cheers, exciting, goodness, hug, income, party, puppy, smiling, song, succeeding, tasty, victories, achieved, billion, cakes, easier, flowers, gifts, gold, merry, families, handsome, lovers, affection, candy, cute, diamond, earnings, interesting, peacefully, praise, relaxing, roses, Saturdays, faithful, heavens, cherish, comfort, congrats, cupcake, earn, extraordinary, glory, hilarious, moonlight, optimistic, peaceful, romance, feast, attractive, glad, grandma, internet, pleasant, profits, smart.

Time to start using more of these words in your everyday life! Source

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Positive Education in the Spirit of Don Bosco

by Regio L. Sales, MD Introduction        When I hear of incidents like stealing in the classroom, students fighting their teacher, teachers abandoning their students, teachers publicly humiliating their students, and students addicted to video games or cigarettes, it makes me wonder why these incidents occur inspite of their parents' and teachers' best efforts, and leads me to reflect on what could be happening in our schools which could have resulted to these problems. I believe these are just symptoms of some deeper ailment in our schools and educational system. There could be lots of probable causes of these, but one which insidiously affects some students (even some teachers) and causing them to disengage from school is depression and the lack of meaning in life. Depression in Boys       In 2011, the WHO showed that "the Philippines has the highest incidence of depression in Southeast Asia with 93 suicides for every 100,000 Filipinos." Some have speculated that these could be due to feelings of helplessness and overall frustration over the lack of progress in their personal lives associated with the lack of inclusive growth in the country which should benefit all sectors of the society.       Our concern, however, is the rising incidence of suicide among the young which is usually a result of depression. In the WHO Student Health Survey in the Philippines (2003-2004), 17.1% had seriously considered committing suicide in the year previous to the study and 16.7 % had made a plan about how they would commit suicide. Among all youth, females were more than twice as likely as males to have had suicidal thoughts. However, males were slightly more likely to carry out a suicidal act than females  (for ages 15 to 19 males and females had both 22.4% attempted suicide incidence; for the 20 to 24 year olds 33.3% males and 29.6% females).       According to Dr. Elizabeth E. Rondain, a psychiatrist at Makati Medical Center, suicide is always an offshoot of severe depression or profound sadness. She also said that among teenagers, depression could also manifest itself in rebellious behavior such as stealing, using drugs or alcohol, anger, confusion, or marked changes in behavior. During adolescence, when there is a constant seeking for approval among the young as well as the need to discover who they are and where they belong, family and school issues could contribute to a feeling of rejection and add to a teenagers' sense of grief.       Furthermore, William Pollack, a clinical psychologist at the Center for Men at McLean Hospital/Harvard Medical School, suggests that in order to diagnose depression among boys the following symptoms should be watched carefully : 1. Increased withdrawal from relationships and problems in friendships. 2. Depleted or impulsive mood. 3. Increase in intensity or frequency of angry outbursts. 4. Denial of pain. 5. Increasing rigid demands for autonomy or acting out. 6. Concentration, sleep, eating, or eight disorders, or other physical symptoms    ( such as stomachaches, headaches, or fatigue). 7. The inability to cry. 8. Low self-esteem and harsh self-criticism. 9. Academic difficulties. 10. Overinvolvement with academic work or sports. 11. Increased aggressiveness. 12. Increased silliness. 13. Avoiding the help of others. 14. New or renewed interest in alcohol or drugs. 15. Shift in the interest level of sexual encounters. 16. Increased risk-taking behavior. 17. Discussion of death, dying, or suicide.        Dr. Pollack adds that it would be extremely rare for any boy who is depressed to exhibit all the above symptoms, but recommends to take immediate steps to help the boy as soon as any of these symptoms are detected.        In order to prevent our boys from drifting away from us Dr. Pollack proposes some proactive steps : - Be alert about the boys' friendships and relationships. - Be watchful for signs of depression and intervene early. - Don't be afraid to consult with a therapist. - If a boy's depression is severe, medical intervention may be necessary. - Try to address the big picture. What their lives are at home, at school, and in society in general. Is he being    bullied? Is he struggling with his subjects? Are his friendships working out well? Is there any family history of depression? - Stay on top of the facts about depression and talk about them openly. Since some (if not most) boys tend to put on a mask about their real feelings, having honest talks about how tough and disappointing things can get in life or how society can be unfair,  we set the stage for honesty and open the door for sharing emotions without embarrassment or shame. What Would  Don Bosco Do       Faced with the problems of boys in our time it would be wise to go back to the ideas and methods that St. John Bosco have applied to his boys in the Oratory. But before we go further, it would be nice to remember the "continuing presence" of the Father of the Youth in his work for the boys, aiming for their happiness.       While reflecting on how Don Bosco could have handled the pressing problems of our boys and our schools, I started with the three tools that our founder have left us : his prophetic dream of the Blessed Mother which pointed out how he should deal with boys while was nine years of age ("Not with blows but with gentleness and charity must you win over these friends of yours."); his version of the Preventive System based on Loving-kindness, Reason, and Religion; and his idea of the Four-fold Balance between the lives of the boys in the Church, in the School, in the Home, and in the Playground.        However, in the course of my quest to find solutions to our present predicament through the writings of Don Bosco, I  serendipitously stumbled upon an inspirational letter of Fr. Carlo Maria Martini the Archbishop of Milan in which he was inspired by a vision of St. John Bosco while he was pondering the same problems in 1988. The following are some notes and excerpts from that letter.      The concept of the Oratory as a center "where young people feel as if they are at home, can express themselves, discover happiness, many friends and that absolutely necessary help to grow up well and become, like he used to say, ‘honest citizens and good Christians’ " is a model of an institution which safeguards the mental, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing of the boys. And in the Oratory, the Preventive System was the method which Don Bosco followed to set young people "so happily on the path to virtue".      "The practice of the Preventive System is based entirely on the words of St. Paul: 'Charity is patient....suffers everything, hopes in everything, puts up with everything.'...Loving-kindness is expressed in words, gestures, and even in facial expressions, glances. And it is also important that young people are not only loved but that they themselves are aware that they are being loved."      In the vision Fr. Martini quotes Don Bosco as saying : "Loving-kindness implies an awareness which is not superficial but deep-down, not only intellectual but also felt...  And yes, it is not so easy to understand a person well. In fact, I would say that it's impossible if we don't love the person, if our starting point is our prejudices towards the person or if we have no trust in or esteem for the person."      Don Bosco also recalled that when the assistant at the Oratory, Fr. Fontana, shouted at a rowdy youngster:  "You appalling, ignorant little ratbag... you won't end up too good, let me tell you!", Don Bosco was quick to correct him by saying: "No, don't say that." "You have to tell youngsters what they can do well in life, not what they do badly."      Another suggestion of Don Bosco is to "let the young people accept greater responsibility." He also added, "It seems to me that the young person who earns or constructs life for him or herself is much happier and more satisfied than the one who, contrariwise, finds everything easy and at hand without a need to think, plan, sweat and get down to things."...."a person becomes responsible where there is appropriate self-respect and esteem for one’s capabilities and where daily experience offers the feeling of being truly useful to others as well." That's why Don Bosco gave responsibilities to his older boys (14 to 18 years of age) to to teach younger students math, counsel those with problems, teach catechism, and do volunteer service. Furthermore, our founder said, "It is difficult for them (the boys) to do it alone, even if it is their will which ultimately has to make the decision. They need an environment which is naturally rich and optimistic, where there are accepting families, religious motivations, people consecrated to them."        With regards to the second foundation of the Preventive System - Reason, this is what Don Bosco in the vision said, "Let yourselves be guided by reason and not by passion. Use it with the littlest ones also. Orders, programmes, even punishments have to be motivated by reason. Offer reasonable goals, goals which are possible and understandable to them. And teach them to do the same. Teach young people to think, to have a good critical sense, to develop a capacity for discernment, for formulating objective judgments and discovering the true meaning of life and this world. Reason will help them to know reality, to understand situations and problems, to foresee the consequences of their choices and actions, to discover the Truth."       Lastly Don Bosco spoke about Authentic Religious Instruction, the third foundation of his pedagogy, as follows: "The second means I have found effective in educating well is religion. I know that not everyone agrees with this because they cannot understand its value, sometimes because some educators have interpreted and practiced it badly. The Christian religion is above all a filial relationship of adoration and love, uniting us to God our Father, through Jesus Christ the Saviour of all. This gives rise to close relationships with all human beings....Through religious instruction and frequenting the sacraments you will develop a love for yourself and for their neighbour in your young people."       Thus, even though the Preventive System of St. John Bosco was penned during the later part of the nineteenth century, the wisdom it imparts still applies to the problems of our youth and our educational institutions today. Positive Psychology in Education      St. Dominic Savio, one of Don Bosco's pupils, expressed that "holiness consists of being cheerful" as an outpouring of the joy he had experienced in the Oratory. It was only in 1998 that science had caught on with the wisdom conveyed by this saintly boy in the new field of Positive Psychology.      Unlike the traditional practice of psychology which deals with diseases and human weaknesses as well as how to treat mental disorders, the new field of Positive Psychology ( or Psychology of Happiness ) initiated by Dr. Martin Seligman in 1998 expands the scope of psychology to include the study of positive emotions, human strengths, and "what makes life worth living." Dr. Seligman has also defined happiness as "the experience of positive emotions - pleasure combined with deeper feelings of meaning and purpose...it consists of three measurable components: pleasure, engagement, and meaning."       The framework that Positive Psychology wants to emphasise is "an empirical research endeavour and not mere grandmotherly common sense." The following are just some of its surprising research findings: ● Optimistic people are much less likely to die of heart attacks than pessimists, controlling for all known physical risk factors (Giltay et al., 2004). ● Women who display genuine (Duchenne) smile to the photographer at age eighteen go on to have fewer divorces and more marital satisfaction than those who display fake smiles (Keltner et al., 1999). ● Externalities (e.g., weather, money, health, marriage, religion) added together account for no more than 15% of the variance in life satisfaction (Diener et al., 1999). ● The pursuit of meaning and engagement are much more predictive of life satisfaction than the pursuit of pleasure (Peterson et al., 2005). ● Economically flourishing corporate teams have a ratio of at least 2.9:1 of positive statements to negative statements in business meetings, whereas stagnating teams have a much lower ratio; flourishing marriages, however, require a ratio of at least 5:1 (Gottman & Levenson, 1999; Fredrickson & Losada, 2005). ● Self-discipline is twice as good a predictor of high school grades as IQ (Duckworth& Seligman, 2005). ● Happy teenagers go on to earn very substantially more income 15 years later than less happy teenagers, equating for income, grades and other obvious factors (Diener et al., 2002).       On the other hand, Positive Education is defined as "education for both traditional skills and for happiness." It also involves the application  of Positive Psychology in the school setting and can form the basis of preventive practices within the school. Positive Education is based on the discovery that "our brains are literally hard-wired to perform at their best not when they are negative or even neutral, but when they are positive."      With the high prevalence worldwide of depression among the young, teaching the skills for happiness and well-being has been found to fight depression (Seligman et al., 2005), they engender more life satisfaction (Peterson, Park, & Seligman, 2005; Seligman et al., 2005), and they promote learning, particularly creative learning (Fredrickson, 1998).      Psychologist Natasha Trent of the University of Birmingham states that "the foundations of positive education stem from four principles in order to bring out the HERO out in all students. HERO is explained below: Hope – a positive motivational state that is based on a sense of success. Efficacy – self-efficacy is the belief that one has the capabilities to execute the course of actions required, to manage prospective situations. Resiliency – the capacity to bounce back from adversity, conflict, fear of increased responsibility, etc. which can be learnt. Optimism- the expectancy of positive outcomes."      Ms. Trent further recommends some tips for teachers in the application of Positive Psychology which are as follows: • Environment is important- so use displays and positive messages around the classroom to stimulate and engage your students’ minds. • Integrate wellbeing into your lesson plans wherever possible, i.e. deep breathing activities to relax learners after lunchtime will hardly cut into your teaching time and requires minimal preparation. • Lead by example- if you demonstrate that you are taking action to develop your own well-being, your students will follow. • Encourage students to develop their character strengths. Character strengths or signature strengths can be determined by answering a free questionnaire at: www.viame.org or www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/questionnaires.aspx. • Introduce wellbeing activities (such as fun exercises, meditation, laughing therapy, practice gratitude, positive scents and music, gardening).      For the optimal effects, parents should also apply some Positive Psychology interventions at home too. Below are some things that Ms. Trent suggests parents can do at home: • Put up positive messages around the house and/or in your children’s bedrooms, so their spirits are constantly being lifted and nurtured. • Encourage your children to have five minutes quiet time to reflect, at the beginning or end of the day. • Make sure you know what your children are passionate about and take a keen interest, by asking them questions and spending time with them doing this. For example, if your children are passionate about dancing, then go with them to a dance show. • Tell your children regularly that they are great and that they can do whatever they put their minds to. • Monitor what your children watch and listen to. Your children’s thoughts affect the way they feel, and ultimately how they will behave. In the Salesian school system for boys which takes its inspiration from the "free, creative, and exuberant" environment of St. John Bosco's Oratory, one unique feature is the Don Bosco Youth Center which is basically a game room with no computer games. Aside from being a place of wholesome indoor games and recreational reading, this could also serve some deeper purposes : - Infuse more happiness for the boys which could enhance their mental health and wellbeing. - Improve the reading skills of the boys while they pore over books, comic books, and magazines which boys like. - This could serve as a venue for teachers and Salesians to engage in the informal educational method of play, which is an integral part of St. John Bosco's pedagogy. - This could serve as a healthy alternative to video games for those who are already addicted to the computer games which are disengaging our boys from school. Conclusion    Happiness, both on earth and in heaven, has been the aim of Don Bosco's educational principles as they are expressed in his version of the Preventive System. This is congruent with the scientific perspective of Positive Psychology. But in order for the three basic principles of Don Bosco's pedagogy (Loving-kindness, Reason, and Religion) and the interventions of Positive Education to be truly lived out with the students, the "presence" of the teacher is indispensable. This kind of presence should not just be physical but, as the educationist John Parankimalil, SDB describes, should be "qualitative". He further expounds that this type of presence should have the following characteristics : 1. A motivating presence - one that infuses enthusiasm, encouragement, and is optimistic. The presence of the educator infuses in the child a thirst for knowledge. 2. A personal presence - The presence of the teacher is such that each child feels known, loved, and accepted. 3. An incarnational presence - Loving what your students love or 'getting under their skin' has an important purpose: seeing the world through their eyes will make them want to experience the world and the values you live by. 4. A creative presence - Being open to the joy of discovery which means being ready to try new ways, new solutions, and new ideas. 5. A preventive and corrective presence - Being there with them to be respectful reminders about rules and in order to prevent exposure to harm. Faults are best corrected by being reasonable, polite, factual, firm, and to the point.   Finally, Fr. P.D. Johny (Parankimalil), SDB concludes that "the system of education of Don Bosco serves as a wise and time-tested framework for every teacher. It is intensively challenging while at the same time amply rewarding. Indeed, teaching – according to the educational method of Don Bosco – is the delicate art of growing with your students." References: ILDA. Reports say Filipinos are sad and depressed in the Philippines. Get Real Post. Martini, Cardinal Carlo Maria. Don Bosco Writes To Us. Milan, 1988. Morrison, John and Fedrigotti, Lanfranco. The Educational Philosophy of St. John Bosco and the Twentieth Century's Conversation about Education. Hong Kong. Parankimalil, John. Preventive System: A System of Presence and Expression. Pollack, William. Real Boys. New York, 1998. Seligman, Martin, et.al..Positive Education: Positive Psychology and Classroom Interventions. Philadelphia, USA,2009. Snyder,C.R. and Lopez, Shane J.. Handbook of Positive Psychology. New York,2002. Terjesen, Mark, et.al.. Integrating Positive Psychology into Schools: Implications for Practice. New York, 2004. Trent, Natasha. Positive Psychology in Schools. 2013. WHO. The Health of Adolescents in the Philippines.

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Reminder of things more important than a grade:

Your mental health That effort you put into your work Your dedication Your passion for a subject Being able to talk enthusiastically about a topic Personal growth Happiness Taking care of your body and mind Feeling positive about yourself Relationships with family and friends

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Stuff you should relinquish to have a happy life …

1. The need to always be right – and to be affirmed by others as being right.

2. The need to control other people, and the circumstances of your life.

3. Any tendency to play “the victim role”.

4. Negative and destructive self-talk.

5. Self-defeating and limiting core beliefs. (“I’m worthless; no-one will ever want or love me; I’ll never amount to anything in life.”)

6. Whining and complaining – about your own personal weaknesses and failures … or the flaws and shortcomings of others … or difficult, unjust or trying circumstances.

7.  A critical and harsh attitude.

8. The need to please and impress other people (or to live up to other people’s expectations).

9. Being paralysed by anxiety and fear – so you won’t take risks or try different things.

10.  Regrets and resentments related to the past – as the past can’t be changed – but the future is still yours.

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Bosconian motto: "To seek for higher things."