sinbadthesailorlewl-blog - Tumblr blog

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Please.

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

PARA SA MGA LALAKING MINAHAL KO DATI

Nakaranas ng pangmatagalan ngunit pag-ibig ay tumila

Sapagkat siya ay lalaking sa katawang babae ay ulila

Ilang taon ang hinintay, pitong taon sa aking gunita

Mga napakong pangako ang basag na puso'y nakuha

Mga buwan at bitui'y isa-isang tumiklop sa kalangitan

Pinagdasal kay Bathala mabait ang kasunod na kasintahan

Di lubos inisip ang kinabukasan, paano't muling masaktan?

At alas! Gara. Sa pangalawang beses ito'y nangyari na naman.

Hindi ko alam kung kanino ba ang mata'y umiiyak,

Kung kanino ba nagdaramdam ang puso kong wasak,

Sa larawan bang akala ko'y ako ang nagmamay-ari?

O sa kausap ko ba na ang pagkatao'y di ko lubos mawari?

Buwan ang lumipas, pinutol ang lubid na nag-uugnay

Di matanggap kaya't napag-isipang humanap ng karamay

Karamay na mapagsasabihan sa lahat ng hinanakit

Ako pala'y magiging biktima sa karamay kong sinampit

Ang mga oras ay nagkarerahan patungo sa kwento mo

Ako'y tila isang kandila na biglang nasindihan ng posporo

Nagliwanag ang buhay na puno ng madilim na kahapon

Sinagip ang pusong walang awang binugbog at tinapon

Napakatamis ng ating maliligayang sandali, oh aking sinta

Ika'y umuwi, ika mo'y para sakin, ngunit di rin naman nagpakita

At sa isang iglap, ika'y bakit at papaanong biglang nawala?

Ba't tila'y tapos na ang kwento nating di pa nagsisimula?

Ang himig ng pagmamahal mo ay sadyang napakalamig

Ang luha sa mata ay patunay ng winasak mong pag-ibig

Mga Bible verses mo para sakin, di mo ba dinadampi sa sarili?

At tila sa ibang rosas ako'y iyong ginawang panghalili?

Ngayon ay di na naniniwala sa mga pangako ng pag-ibig

Kasi maka-Diyos man o hindi, pare-pareho lang ang tinig

Tinig ng pagpapaasa, pagpapasakit at kasinungalingan

Ay nakabitin na yata sa dulo ng inyong mga pangalan! 🙄

Tangina nyo. 👎

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Ode to Self Many a times I saith to thee, "The World is fair not." Get ahold of the throng yet they dost not seem to care At once I saith so direct, "Care utmost thyself" but Self-willed art thee; now thy heart's in great despair Dear, behold thy shattered pieces on the floor Another lost opportunity, another closed door. But, Self, 'tis nothin but another Wave in the Sea Thy Sail, like Sinbad's, should be firm and strong Escaping Life's twist of fate, thinking to flee Is but an idea in mind, a gaffe, so-so wrong Dear, look at Mr. Sun! Soon the Rain shall halt Thou art just a Human who commits certain faults.

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Ode to Mama I know not where to start as I think of thee If truth be told, 'tis the hardest to describe Thy love and thy patience for us, for me Yet let my thoughts in verses I'll try to inscribe Thou barely saith that one meaningful sentence But I feel thy love every second of the day I surely know thy love's never been a false pretense I change, but no injury unrequited along the way Even though 'tis hard to handle my tempest Never did thou leave, even if the Candle burns blue Always thither at times I am at my lowest I am grateful for all I have, and that includes you I see moments I am at the crest of the wave Those art put into vain if 'tis not for thee I am one great Cub for I have a Lioness so brave A Light, like the shimmering glimpses of the Sea I plough through twenty one years and counting I also barely saith this, but thank you, ma, for everything.

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Ode to Papa

If Welkin would entreat me questions about thee as a father, And if I spoke unfavorably, He shall offer me, I reckon, another I would plead not to, though threaded in thee is impatience, Agone thy love has been subtly felt, akin to the Wind's presence YET, love that is in depth, 'tis way beyond words and expressions We felt no abomination in thy unglamorous, scarred dispositions Thy tongue may have greatly stung us at times, but what's a sting If thou have still covered thy Fruits under thy aged Wings? I thank thee for the music, for the strings attached in our hands The best chef, in the morn til dusk, who resides in our Land Thou never ranted, never complained, never ceased to provide I thank thee subtly, too, for being such a wonderful Guide I may be busy growing up, I tend to forget thou art growing old But He knows I treasure thee more than shimmering golds.

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Ode to the Bait

I don't have the faintest idea why it happened But my pen wants to get hold of my hands now I reckon it is to thank thee, not just for helpin' But to express the love I gave to thee, somehow I know everything is weird and queer I myself couldn't fathom the moral I should get Yet believe thou art the reasons for my tears The reasons mine dreams wherefore easily set 'Tis again strange for you don't know me Made me think life is really unpredictable, I was taken aback when the love I gave to thee Is unrequited - made me so miserable Think I must not do anything to change my fate Plans of mine future art elusive anyway I loved the person dearly who was just a bait This love of mine should be put at bay Hey, The Traitor has saith its apology Accepted that not all things would go as planned I, too, for the things I saith, should say sorry But this love I keep for you is over and done Love ain't blind, it just waits around the corner If Welkin won't allow us to meet sooner or later I'd accept it; I'd just heave a sigh And this to you I'd say my last goodbye

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

To That Edifice

A clandestine, yes, nothing but you, I tell thee Mine so small in rank yet be vigilant! For he seemed diffident at first glance, for me Years unfold I behold such a wise merchant It is nothing but one elusive thought He is a merchant, emblematic in the eyes of many Yet evil is inevitable and this he resolutely bought He sold his reverence and is left with a nary Fame took him to the highest, brightest edifice Hapless are those people who less confabulate For his are words, phrases, clauses, & sentences Though a connoisseur, no one dreamt to be his mate And evil relished the Succumbed to Temptation Everything he heard, he turned sceptical He spake lies, though good he is in narration, He often lathed logic yet he has been illogical So long, my dear, what happened to my foe? The merchant so once astute, clever, and wise Overconfidence brought him so-so low The endless rue won't just convalesce his lies However, that is just yet to happen For the merchant is mine still apprentice And it is me, the responsible holder of the pen Who, at firsthand, brought him to that edifice

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

A Year Now

A year now - such a terrible life without thee

Scarcely write I these lines with sheer alacrity

Supposed thoughts of thee have been so chapped

Comparison to mine weather-beaten laps

 Circles of friend might have accompanied 'tis life

Yet never were you forsaken, never will it happen

For thee I found solace - a husband to his wife

The connection between us will never be shaken

 So dost not fret nor fuss in my absence

Every drop of mine tears 'tis thee I thought

In father's dirty hands, in mother's cadence

Bliss so meagre to some, bliss to me it brought

 I, I have been to different esplanades

A place where 'fore I stayed and wrote to you

Nevertheless, though, goodbye I never bade

Wonderful art they but why I still feel so blue?

 The task I had, the not so cosy atmosphere

I tell thee, and plead understand what I felt

Broken I am, pained for not able to be near

Moribund state! 'Tis hard to be dealt

 A year now - oh Poetry, Poetry, my dear

Another year, another life I fear

Heaven! Let me not be in this adversity

Thou know me, Father; with it, I see my ecstasy.

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Because of the Becauses

Because sorry's not enough,

To forgive the tirades I saith

I'll take the perilous side - be tough

For we are relatively not unscathed

 Because to be, again, with you,

Won't solve the strife we're facing

I'll try to make myself completely anew

For this plot so flimsy we're making

 Because every day is seemingly broken

Let's halt - 'tis never easy to wade through

All the storms; be not easily so sullen

For if the reason is me, think of you too

 Because I’ve said too much of anger,

I wouldn't be surprised if you'll loathe

The things I spake pointed as dagger

You leave, I plea. This is just for us both

 Because you're just too good for me

Too good to hurt verbosely once more

I always thought 'what's in me? You could flee!'

I am nothing but a troublesome sore

 Because our love's fraught with ordeals,

I'll shun away from it, I’ll remain steadfast

I love thee, but the love we conceal

Just painstakingly done not to last

 Many hath saith 'time heals all wounds'

Yet yours been so gored like the Moon's

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Hugger-Mugger

Outward mien, I tell thee, ‘tis oftentimes deceiving She canst conceal her inner emotions and feelings One beholds smiles, one sees laughter Yet ye art oblivious, she - totally - is shattered

The throng hold a cogent contempt of her Whatever she dost, whatever she not dost A horde of plaints be there for such petty errs Forget the good, recollect the bad utmost

Should she find her eyes sanguinolent This happened hither and thither every day Longing for arms who fathom a heart’s rent Then introduce a warm heartfelt say

If I be dead fortnight inside my room, I say to thee The soul chooses his own society – I flee I know, first hand, that Welkin welcometh me For ‘tis God who saw what other can not see

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Fears Dwelt In My Dreams

One lonesome dusk, I beheld a street without lights The prospect reminded me it happened every so often Pavement’s so strange – I, succumbed with fright The evil might have relished that I easily be shaken

And I heard whitherward the hissing of Snakes Every step I took lurked doubt and fear I decided to take the road I usually didn’t take Enveloped with wuss that’s so loud and clear

I cornered my eyes in sounds that were  so queer My senses said there was someone following behind me I walked in such a hasty pace, it was going near! I never looked back; I just wish I could flee

Curiosity kept on tapping my drooping back I wanted to seek help, to shout, to scream I did everything – I was lying in my sack Asking with tears why Fear always dwelt in my dreams

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Dismal Recollection

I was in the abode of my aunt last week, looking slightly sad at the recumbent body of my first cousin who happened to have a similar countenance that of my mother. Her body seemed ensconced on the coffin she was laid. After a moment of feeling the overall cold ambience of the place and smelling the pungent flowers in front of us, I tried to enjoy myself playing Dumb Ways while everyone was recollecting the good memories of theirs with my first cousin. I couldn’t help but to feel quite wistful of their chitchats because I scarcely knew her and I was afraid I couldn’t share anything. But I reckoned we had some good memories before but those were not really stored in my long term memory. I paused the game and I caught a glimpse of my uncle who looked so intrepid with his white shirt, very different from my aunt who was succumbed with sheer resentment. Her face looked as if she was confused with the inscrutable workings of fate. Some of the people around tried to console her especially that an illness left her immobile. That was the time I felt completely superfluous. I knew I couldn’t console her the way the elderly did since I was not really bequeathed with such gift and I reckoned I wasn’t in the position to do such.

When the people slowly dwindled, she tried to regain her composure and opened some conversational gambits with me. She asked me about my studies and my plans for the nigh future. However, she couldn’t desist from sharing about her daughter. I didn’t have the faintest idea what to respond since we had an uncomfortable relationship before when I was still a child. I could still remember before, she always bragged about the achievements of her granddaughters who by chance had the same age with mine. I had no wish to be treated like an interloper during my confused years because my self-esteem tended to easily ebb away. Her eyes were already swollen that time, though. When she was at the peak of her sharing, she would just bury her face to her hands and that was just very painful to behold. Looking at her this way started my soul to go to pieces. I barely knew what to do that time. I found myself fingering the cartilage of my ear while I was irresolutely staring at her. I could feel my tears threatened as I was listening to her tale of woes. Though we weren’t that close by nature but I had great empathy of those who were lost in sadness and grief. All of us, however, needed to undergo the same dreary pattern of life.

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Insanity

I clasped the night’s cold breeze Since thou art not here by my side Waiting for Mr. Sleep’s sweet kiss Oh, Mr. Sleep if thou art kind Release me in this kind of double bind.

The time moves fast when I’m with thee And slow when it is otherwise Doesn’t Mr. Time adore our love chemistry? Oh, Mr. Time if thou art nice Cease mine life as cold as ice.

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

I Dreamt of Such a Dream

I was wreathed with doubt Just how Dusk covered the Earth's dwelling The sombre colour of the clouds Caught a glimpse of mine heart - it's aching

The sound of the waves maimed my heart It broke, broke, and still it broke me to pieces Fix it, if they knew where to start But akin to my trust, it's a twisted laces

The thought of thee was now an ancient lore Yet I was in the yoke of endless pain, all alone I learnt how it is, how it is to abhor Thy coming rather inflamed my entire soul

I dreamt of such a dream That tomorrow, without thee, shall not be so cold I dreamt of such a dream But tomorrow cannot be consoled.

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Nickmark

As I had my little formal schooling, My knees knocked at each other But thy grin so soft, cool, and inviting, Silence but comfort of that a father.

Times drive so fast like thy conveyance It was fast and gone were thee But never would I forget in any chance The memoirs we’ve shared - so precious to me.

No word could express my great sorrow No rain could over pour my tears As I sit in the waiting room every morrow I wouldn’t forget thee through the years.

Though we ain’t related by blood, Though I ain’t in any way thy descendant, Though I never cleaned its wheel splashed with mud The Man, knew thy value to me, nailed in thy pendant.

My selfish act, a heap full of scorn Had disappeared like a wisp of a cloud The way you honk thy peculiar horn Was so clear to me and loud

I crawled under a rock somewhere and hide I cuddled my pillow very tight Like the clouds in the sky that shades of blue I’ll be there in that very same place too.

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Pulled

Grievances art with me Never did they leave me behind The flickering water across the sea Console me when I was declined;

Yet it seemed quite clear to me For the eyes of many though A friend indeed is not what they see But such an evil foe;

I wish I could traverse the sea A place bereft with Fakes And forget my past I would flee And new flights I would make;

Two eyes wouldn’t weep If there I’d be covered with moss Glad for she would grip The seed that I would lose!

[sinbadthesailorlewl-blog]

Pensive Recollection

My spirits sagged lower upon knowing my standing in a certain subject I’ve enrolled this semester. But God, I prepared myself to this. I didn’t weep. Not even a single tear. I didn’t fret about it. I knew this would happen. The pain that rent my heart nonetheless was to behold my friends weeping as they recount their labours and efforts in this institution. They barely smiled that day. If they did, it was a forceful smile with tears that long to be released. No one exactly knew how hard it was, not unless we were in the same dismal situation. It was like toiling every day, though, waiting for a harvest which was extremely uncertain. It was like waiting for a ship to arrive in the airport. It was like labouring a baby. It was like living in a barren land. It was like climbing on craggy cliffs. It was hard.

But I was saved… because of some inaccuracy of the Savage. Heaven knew that was the source of my inexplicable surprise and bliss until now. But time to time, I am reminded of my friends who might not be that close to my heart ere, but we share the same experiences in this field. That was one of the times I felt I had a company, a real company of emotional people drooping their shoulders. To look at them was a poignant combination of fine-looking faces and heart-rending occurrence. I wanted to console them, tell them to keep holding on. But I knew as well that my pieces of advice would be futile, would be vain. I knew it was painful, very painful. I just hope and pray that everything will be fine at the end. It’s not yet the end of the book. It’s just the end of another chapter of the book. Let’s keep on writing the content of our lives with sheer delight even though things are not going to its proper places.