sincerely-minah

[sincerely-minah]

Gender and Emotions?

How can emotions be a commonality for men and women but also be an element that makes them so vastly different? The foundation for how individuals deal with emotions stems from childhood experiences and the parenting style they grow up with. Affectionate, supportive parenting tends to result in children with high self-efficacy and positive self-image. Those who were neglected or had distant parents as a child often struggle with self-defeating thoughts. Beyond parenting styles and possible childhood trauma that affects how we self-regulate emotions, societal factors also play an immense role in how emotions, to put it simply, are felt. Social restraints like “boys don’t cry” contribute to the overall outcome of how emotionally stable, or unstable, a person is– which is also the reason why gender plays a role (Learn Everything). 

Especially with the rise of technology, including in schools, children are beginning to become much more exposed, the same goes with social media. Despite the conversations about how social media affects teenagers, the real dangers lie with how young kids process what is delivered on social media platforms. Nothing is particularly censored, which then creates a cycle of desensitization starting from an early age– which can be destructive to their development cognitively, emotionally, and socially. However, there are some positives that do come with social media that can teach children early on how to express themselves in healthy manners. Such things as online movements, digital communities, and platforms to communicate with friends and family can improve the way children enhance their connections and even technical skills. Despite the connectedness that tends to lure young children onto these platforms, it can most definitely “fuel feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and depression” (Genomind). The biggest, rising concern is cyberbullying. In many of these scenarios, children and teens do not know who to turn to, more often than not, their aggressors remain anonymous behind the screen. As a result, they may suppress their emotions leading them to be much more withdrawn than those who do not. Also, phone addictions cause a lack of in-person interactions that are necessary for the development of verbalizing emotions and discussing them in a healthy, safe manner. 

There needs to be a certain level of understanding as to why gender roles “determine our social behaviors” and how they can alter the way we unconsciously believe gender stigmas in correlation with emotional intelligence (Soussi). Often, the media presents women as overly emotional and men as emotionally unintelligent, barely showing feelings and when they do, it is typically associated with sexual desires and anger. “When men feel angry they are more likely to vocalize it and direct it at others, whereas women are more likely to internalize and direct the anger at themselves” (Dowthwaite-Walsh). Because of the fact that men are more likely to confront and deal with the feeling of anger, for example than women– this could be a defining reason as to why there is an imbalance in levels of happiness between the two. Social restraints further add to the outcome of how happy an individual and this is why gender does play a significant role. In general, females are more prone to prioritizing others before themselves, whereas males tend to follow their pursuit of pleasure and self-indulgence: “Studies have also found that women tend to act more ethically than men and are more likely to suffer feelings of shame if they are not seen to be doing ‘the right thing’” (Dowthwaite-Walsh). Despite these findings making it seem like women would be less content and happy, their “female morality” is what leads to resilient, impactful work that produces joy and peace (Dowthwaite-Walsh).  

Categorizing certain emotions and stereotyping them with a gender is prevalent all throughout society and children whose brains are still developing and much more susceptible to worldly things are at risk of believing these portrayals. In return, they will apply these findings to themselves, and learning to later unlearn these attributes is not an easy breakthrough. This is a pertinent example of why discriminative gender roles and social restraints remain consistent throughout. Because it surrounds us everywhere, even in school, we often unknowingly consume it all. Not only do parenting and childhood upbringing affect the way emotions are dealt with, but so do worldly factors. 

Sources:

[sincerely-minah]

How Can Insecurities Be "Gendered"?

Western countries have industrialized a gender gap that continues to prevail. Despite the increasing awareness of such problematic factors that interfere with life and work, like gender-segregated pay, there continues to be a noticeable distance between men and women. Insecurities typically begin to develop and create a foundation for an endless cycle around middle school and persist even through adulthood. The self-esteem gender gap seems to be much more evident in the U.S. and other Western countries compared to Asian countries. 

Self-esteem and insecurities differ between individuals, so I want to highlight that the ones I will be mentioning are more general rather than specific as I further discuss such topics. Within males, starting at a young age, many are encouraged to engage in physical activities. More often than not, we see young boys part of rigorous sports teams– from my hometown, football and soccer are incredibly popular. On the other hand, young girls are typically enrolled in clubs that tackle fine motor skills, such as art, dance, and singing. The various activities further differentiate the genders, and so do their insecurities. The ideal way that a certain gender is supposed to look like is displayed through different forms of media and this establishes a skewed version of self. Society typically depicts men to be muscular, tall, and overall extroverted. With this image in mind, there is an underlying push for young boys to work towards this physical portrayal. Recently, I have noticed the rise in boys wanting to take steroids to help aid in increasing muscle strength and the excessive routine of going to the gym. The term “muscle dysmorphia” shortly explains the phenomenon of how the idealized male body is driving young males to excessively bulk in order to look muscularly bigger. “A subset of body dysmorphic disorder, individuals with muscle dysmorphia feel they need to become bigger or more muscular, regardless of their size. Sometimes referred to as ‘bigorexia,’ it typically affects men” (Kale).  It is a quiet, yet visible, pandemic that is attacking males of all ages. We can even note the influence of this body type in toys: “This body type even pressed its way into our children’s bedrooms: studies show that action figures have become brawnier over the past 25 years” (Kale). Females are more prone to experience body dysmorphia at an earlier age, as there is a public, socially curated idealized body image targeted towards girls whether it be through advertisements or movies. The dance industry especially “is saturated with idolized body beliefs that can challenge a dancer’s body image and self-confidence” (Fine). Around 75% of dancers feel a certain pressure to lose weight, many of the reasons starting from comparative thoughts to the tight fitting leotards and costumes (Fine). The ideal woman figure and characteristics penetrate through media that is openly accessible to young girls to visually see, which further leads to a higher possibility of developing insecurities and in extreme cases, can result in eating disorders. 

Frequently, society as a collective forgets that insecurities are derived from social, worldly factors. “In general, the researchers found that self-esteem tended to increase with age, from adolescence to adulthood, and that men at every age tended to have higher levels of self-esteem than women worldwide… ‘specifically, individualistic, prosperous, egalitarian, developed nations with higher gender equality had larger gender gaps in self-esteem than collectivist, poorer, developing nations with greater gender inequality’” (Bleirdorn). This quote illustrates that cultural differences can also guide self-development within boys and girls, which can attest to being a universal experience. These findings enrich our knowledge of how cultural, and worldly influences shape self-esteem, and from there, how we can apply this new information to the self-esteem theory (Bleirdorn).

There are several elements that partake in the “birth” of insecurities as well as skewed perceptions of one's physical appearance and we can conclude that personal and worldly relationships truly have an immense impact on us. With that being said, it is crucial to note that there can be change made through advocating body positivity and rewriting your own narrative. I think it is also equally as important for schools to understand this growing epidemic of “bigorexia” among males and the glorified thin ideal we associate with females and to provide resources on how to carefully guide young students, in specific, out of this blurred judgment of self.

Sources:

[sincerely-minah]

How Gender Interferes With Childhood Dreams

Gender stereotypes present themselves through the aspirations and dreams of young children. Reflect back to when you were little– what was an occupation you dreamed of? For me, it was becoming a teacher or any sort of job that required care and creativity. 

The representation of gender norms trickles its way into how children begin to express and view themselves as they begin to adjust to the “bigger” world. “Coupled with a lack of role models and discriminative attitudes, it is no surprise we do not have enough women in STEM (8% of apprentices are women) or a solid representation of men in the care sector” (“Gender stereotypes in childhood: what’s the harm?”). The social standards of how males and females are supposed to behave and carry themselves are deeply implemented in the way society categorizes sections– even future occupations. Children dreaming of working is typically pure imaginative play that undergoes continuous change; however, it is interesting to see how they reenact jobs that are typically “accurate” to their gender: “Girls are more interested in jobs that are male-dominated, such as police officer and firefighter than boys are in roles that are less traditional for men. Nonetheless, the most popular career choice among five-year-old girls is to be a teacher, whereas the most common aspiration for five-year-old boys is to be a police officer” (“Gender norms are clearly evident at five years of age”). It is universally accepted that females are characterized as partaking in creative roles as well as the performing arts, whereas males tend to gravitate towards physical and monetary rewarding occupations. Also, there are not copious amounts of job opportunities where it is predominantly female-dominated, which creates a visual restraint for young girls to expand their imagination. However, it is a fact that young girls are more willing and open to engaging in play that may seem much rougher and “boy-like” play, which then transcends through their interests and future goals. Young boys, on the other hand, are at higher risk of limiting their curiosity and participating less in activities that socially are deemed “feminine.” Due to the lack of engagement, male-dominated fields continue to exponentially substantiate the dominance– typically in STEM and business-related fields. The quote, “More than one in two of the 30 most popular roles selected by boys are in traditionally male-dominated occupations. In contrast, one in four of the 30 most popular roles selected by girls are in traditionally female-dominated fields,” highlighting the disparity between the dominance of the two genders and how it unravels in the work field (“Gender norms are clearly evident at five years of age”). 

More often than not, I believe that society tends to underestimate the capacity and quickness of a child’s learning ability. “In the commercial sector, many retailers still market children’s toys, books, cards and clothes based on gender” (“Gender stereotypes in childhood: what’s the harm?”). Children begin constructing their knowledge through social interactions and when retail shops establish the notion of girls being soft and boys are meant to be tough, it skews the way children begin to view themselves and how they are meant to present themselves. Despite pretend play being a means of how children formulate connections with one another, it also proves that young kids understand the societal roles implemented on the genders, and as they act it out during play, it begins to settle in their knowledge. Therefore, their goals, especially regarding dreams, are set on these stereotypes without them evidently revealing themselves. We are responsible for the way children develop their physical and mental judgment of not only themselves but other people and how they act. “To me, it seems crazy that we still create the conditions for children to trust entirely false ideas of identity when this is preventable” (“Gender stereotypes in childhood: what’s the harm?”). 

The idealistic dreams society wants certain genders to act in accordance with affect the future careers of men and women. It truly is disheartening to see that young boys and girls know that society has a limitation for both parties and that stepping beyond the rigid “rules,” completely feels isolating because more often than not, people conform to the common ideals. There also tends to be a narrative switch between when a young boy states he wants to be, for example, a nurse versus when a young girl states she wants to be an engineer. Often, boys are applauded for what we label “caring and compassionate” whereas we steer girls away from physical fields and tell them that it is not “feminine” enough and such. With consistent support for young boys, no matter the career, they have enough fulfilled self-confidence to act upon their desires, whereas girls do not have a public support system– which leads them to either constrain themselves with the norms or chase their dreams with the high chance of being considered an outcast.

Sources:

[sincerely-minah]

Gender Inequality in South Korea

Gender inequality prevails all throughout South Korea and with the current President Yoon Suk Yeol, many Korean feminists believe that society is regressing rather than progressing. The two articles similarly spotlight the dangers of President Yoon’s advocacy for dismantling the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family for the sole sake of gathering votes from young male voters (Kang). Yoon worked extremely hard to win the appeal of men, and in return, many females are now at risk for their own safety. In South Korea, it is the norm for women to abandon their college degrees and occupations to be the typical housewife: “Korean women are often pressured to give up their careers after childbirth and those who work outside the home still carry out the lion’s share of household chores and childcare duties” (Jung). Not to mention the alarming normality of sexual assaults toward women in public and private environments. Also fertility rates are declining in South Korea because women do not want to be restricted from the lives that they worked hard to curate, which affects the population of South Korea as well. 

Growing up, my home life was labeled with various titles: living in a Korean household, living with a single mom, and living with my grandparents, uncle, and aunt all in one tiny apartment. These so-called titles all partake in who I am today and as I reflect on my past, and even on the present, there are many rigid standards within the Korean community. One of them being divorce. My mom single-handedly raised me in a foreign country and despite that being challenging enough, she also had to face the battle of how the Korean community viewed her. They judged her ability to raise a daughter, to make a living here, and to be a woman without a man beside her. I take note of how my grandmother, my mom’s mom, treats my uncle versus my mom. There is a huge difference: my mom is the one who takes my grandmother to all of her hospital visits and translates doctor appointments, and my mom is the one who eats a cold meal– mainly consisting of leftovers. Whereas my uncle, does not spend a dime on my grandmother, does not face the difficulties of having to rearrange his schedule to make time for the weekly doctor visits, and does not ever have to eat a meal that is not warm. Sometimes I wonder if my grandmother even knows what my mother’s favorite dish is because the only meal we often eat when the family is all together is the food my uncle likes most. For me, I find this appalling, but for my mother, this is something she has dealt with all her life. In Korean culture, the men of the family are often most prized– typically the eldest and the youngest son. This is an embedded social gender hierarchy that creeps at the moment a child is born, and it is something I have noticed my mother first-handily deal with. There is a favorable gender and the latter, women, are considered to work endlessly at creating a fruitful family. 

Several Asian countries prioritize males and despite living in the 21st century, most times females are expected to serve men and to be submissive to them. As this continuous, toxic expected cycle progresses in South Korea, and in other Asian countries as well, it affects children from the moment they are born because there is a gender-based standard that is transcendent throughout society. And with this, as children grow older, they are likely to exhibit in a manner that they believe is the best representation of themselves as well as the gender they identify with. For example, males may act more dominant in the working field and females inherently begin to act submissive, which further institutes these gender norms. Also, children are extremely impressionable at such a young age, and the biggest factor of how and when they discover gender stereotypes primarily derives from their living status. Questions like “How does the father treat the mother?”, “who primarily cares for the house chores?” creates an open floor to see how we can envision the imbalance of genders through a child’s mind. 

To summarize, South Korea has an extremely rigid and judgemental society that affects the way gender is defined. With the new President as well, South Korea does not seem to be progressing in an advantageous way but rather is regressing in a manner where children cannot learn nor understand the dynamics and powers of gender.

Sources:

[sincerely-minah]

Gendered Clothing

What exactly is gendered clothing and how is it established before we are even born? Gendered clothing means the clothing that is defined for both men and women through various cultures. Planned Parenthood explains the why aspect: “Different cultures make different gender ‘assignments’ for colors, fabrics, patterns, and cuts of clothing.” We see the notion of gender begin to manifest in clothing stores the moment we shop for baby clothes. Color is one of the prominent factors in fashion– pink for girls, blue for boys. 

Before delving into gendered fashion, it is pertinent to shed light on the fashion industry. Despite fashion being one of the few fields that are female-dominated, the moment a man enters this industry, they gain recognition and receive more pay. Already with the development of clothing, there is gender inequality present. I wanted to highlight this aspect before addressing additional information because this is the foundation! The foundation for designs to transition to physical garments that sell in stores. This idea applies to my further points, so it is important to keep this in mind. 

Fashion is versatile because of the usage of various textiles, but how does gender interplay? When we visualize a little girl’s closet versus a boy's, what do we conceptualize? Typically uncomfortable fabrics like sequins and tulles are worn by girls whereas boys are seen wearing durable, comfier clothing that supports rough, outdoor play. Girl clothes are often restricted and tight, limiting the comfort for strenuous play that boys do not have to face. The phrase “beauty is pain” is repeated in my mind continuously when researching textiles. Notice how this saying emulates female clothing specifically, which further establishes the belief that girls are meant to be uncomfortable– that girls are required to be restrained in order to be considered socially beautiful. Another fabric that holds quite a bit of significance is anything soft and fuzzy. Starting at a young age, girls are more likely to encounter situations where they are caressed and touched due to the soft fabric. This raises an issue that exhibits itself in the future because the message comes across that little girls are meant to be passive and conditioned to be touched often. “It isn’t so far-fetched to recognize that seemingly innocent design choices might have harmful impacts on much more severe issues, such as the paralysis that girls who are victims of physical abuse can adopt and the shameful feelings towards their perpetrators and themselves might feel as a result” (Agustoni).

Another crucial factor in clothing is “defining abilities through words.” Phrases and words are often seen in young children's garments; however, this is one of the main characteristics that heavily intertwines gender stereotypes into clothing. The words written cater to the preconceptions that define what a little boy or girl is meant to be. Beauty-related slogans like “simply adorable” imply that girls “are not encouraged to have their original personality but rather to be kind and cute and adopt a passive attitude…relates to the sexist idea” (Agustoni). Whereas active, self-centered slogans are particularly seen on boy clothes: “with messages such as ‘veggies, no thanks’ reminding them to be rebellious or ‘let’s go’ encouraging them to be active” (Agustoni). Gender-biased messages continue to have a deep separation between boys and girls because of the active distinction of normative descriptions. This is destructive as children get older due to the fact that they are categorized based on what they believe they are capable of with the help of societal norms. These phrases establish how children will begin to perceive themselves without being able to find their identity through their own means.  This past summer, I volunteered at a non-profit program called Little Hands Little Feet, where we packed clothing bundles for children in need, with direct contact with social workers. Every week, I went through gigantic bags of baby clothes and separated them by gender and age. Oftentimes there were clothes with no label and I had to decipher the gender “it belonged.” Reflecting back, I pondered on the questions of how we determine clothes, how gender has been institutionalized in the way we see clothing, and what affects the normality of defining clothes. Clothing can limit opportunities for young children, as it has effects on self-awareness and how they will present themselves. Beyond gender and gender roles, there can also be prevention of “any new non-binary vision” (Agustoni).

Sources:

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/why-is-clothing-gendered